I'd actually like to thank gunman. He brought up a good point: Misato did kind of leave Shinji hanging there. Good call. I've decided to incorporate that into this chapter. I think you'll see what I mean.
2. Trials and Tribulations
The police had come and gone, having collected all the forensics and evidence they sought after. The tape recording that Shinji had left, however, had pretty much been what had sealed their investigation shut. The ruling was suicide.
The tape had also been the final nail in Misato's coffin.
That was why Misato was sitting in the courtroom today, nearly two weeks after the incident. The trial essentially played out as thus: the physical evidence had already been displayed, and Misato had already been cross-examined. The D.A. argued that Misato had been an incompetent guardian to begin with, her drinking "problem" and poor-quality home life the main evidence. Although it was a suicide, the Tokyo-3 D.A. decided to press the matter further, reasoning that since the weapon was registered to Miss Katsuragi and had been left readily accessible to Shinji, she was an accessory. Also, seeing as she had willfully left him unsupervised, the D.A. was aiming for negligible homicide, at the very least.
The Defense, however, brought to light Misato's own depression, caused by the stress of her job at NERV and the death of her lover. They also decided to bring in the three bridge technicians: Makoto Hyuga, Shigeru Aoba, and Maya Ibuki. Having worked closely with Misato, they acted as character witnesses on the part of both Misato. They gave praise to the obvious concern that Misato had openly shown Shinji on several occasions, including when he had been absorbed by Unit01. The Defense argued that Misato had done all that she could to help, but that Shinji's depression was no secret, and that she could not be expected to monitor him 24 hours a day. Should she be held accountable if she was only gone for a few hours? Or suppose Shinji had decided to plunge to his death from their unit on the eleventh floor; should Misato be held accountable for that?
But the trial going on around her was all a blur. Her mind was not on how much prison time she was looking at if convicted. She wasn't even thinking about the possibility that she would be convicted, and certainly not wishing for her defense lawyer to find some sort of loophole or to perform some sort of legal trickery.
No, Misato's mind was a few miles away from the trial and lingering somewhere back at the old apartment. She was still thinking about the smell of the spent gun powder, and the feel of her dearly deceased ward's body, the skin still being warm to the touch when she reached him but lacking in something..crucial. Vital, you might call it.
After the body had been collected and the area cleaned, Misato decided to leave the apartment and seek another place of residence. There were too many memories there, too many reminders of Shinji. The kitchen still smelled of his wonderful cullonary delights, and his room still seemed to echo with the music of his S-DAT. Even the thorough cleaning that the CSI team had curteously performed was a reminder of the housekeeping services he had rendered. Even if Misato paid for the rent, Shinji seemed to be the life and soul of the unit. Now all that remained were some paper-thin walls, indifferent to their occupants' joys and pains.
She had spent the previous nights weeping for her loss, cursing herself for not having done more. This was all she could do for him, now. She had lost him forever, and only after being a split second away from pulling him back from the deep. Had she somehow been quicker, drove faster, or if she just hadn't left him all alone to begin with...
This trial was a waste of everyone's time. She knew that it might as well have been her who pulled the damn trigger. She was hardly surprised when the Tokyo police came to her door to take her down town and detain her for the pending trial. She wasn't even paying attention to the two lawyers argue back and forth, who had just completed their closing arguments.
The judge, satisfied that the two parties had fully presented their cases, brought down the wooden mallet upon his desk. Everyone exited the room, single file, with Misato being escorted out by her assigned officer.
The court re-assembles. The jury deliberated for nearly twelve hours. The case had been fairly straightforward in some ways. But not all. Complete consenus had clearly been difficult to achieve.
"This court is now in session. Has the jury reached a verdict?"
They rise, obviously worn out. The decision had not been an easy thing to come to. "We have, Your Honor. In the matter of the City of Tokyo-3 versus Katsuragi Misato, on the charge of negligent homicide, we find the Defendant...guilty."
The verdict comes down like an N2 bomb upon the audience, the previous vacuum of silence created by the tension of the moment being replaced by a quiet yet distinct background of gasps and murmurs.
Misato doesn't make a single motion. She already knew the answer long before the trial began. That's why this is all a joke to her. As far as she was concerned, these people were just going through the motions. They perform their jobs with little regard for the reality that sits plainly infront of them. They don't stop to really think about any of it, only thinking that there is something to prove when, in fact, it had been so damn obvious from the start. It was all one cruel affirmation that she had failed miserably. It makes her sick to her stomach to even have to consider what the rest of them refuse to even recognize.
Was he right? Are people disgusting?
She weeps inwardly for Shinji, for the world, and for herself. She can't even bring herself to ask for Shinji's absolution.
If the judge sees this, he makes no indication. Instead he pounds his mallet into his desk, attempting to restore order to his domain."Very well. Katsuragi Misato, the sentence for your crime is typically 15 years imprisonment. However, I have also weighed in the Defense's arguments, and it is my conclusion that your sentence be reduced to 10 years, with possibility of parole. You will serve your time at the Tokyo-2 Women's Penitentiary."
The judge lifts the mallet up, about to make his words final, when he is halted by an outburst.
From Misto. "Your Honor..."
The judge stays his hand, looking down from high upon the woman, awaiting the excuse for this intrusion into his finality.
"...with the Court's permission, I'd like to request that I be permitted to attend the funeral of the deceased."
The judge considers her request for a moment before responding. "Very well. Your request is granted. This court is now adjourned."
The mallet falls upon the judge's table, the thunderous tap serving as an exclamation point to the events that have just unfolded. The trial is over.
Misato and her escort bust through the doors. The sounds of shuffling feet and shouts and the blinding glare of photographers' flash bulbs doesn't even phase her. She pays them no mind, refusing to even acknowledge the presence of the reporters now flocking around her.
The scene is now a holding cell at the Tokyo-2 penitentiary. Inside is Misato, who has been here for three days now. She hasn't said a word since she got here, and except for meal times she hasn't moved an inch. She is a quiet, stone-cold statue, molded of guilt and self-pity.
The silent loneliness surrounding her is familiar. She has been in this situation before, only it wasn't a jail cell, but a psychiatric ward. Having hated her father for as long as she could remember, a younger Misato Katsuragi was at a loss for words when her father put her into the only remaining emergency pod during the Second Impact. In fact, she was a loss for words for nearly three years, falling mute and unresponsive. The years of resenting her father, for him making her feel worthless and unloved, and then suddenly he saves her life, at the expense of his own.
In the present, the circumstances are far different.
But the result is all the same.
A steady staccato of foot steps is heard down the hall, getting louder as they approach the cell. Into view comes a prison guard, a female of respectable build and stature, uniform preened and trim and shoes shined and unscuffed.
"Number 24601, you have a visitor." she announces as she brings the giant ring of keys to the cell door.
"Who?" Misato asks, stirred from her somber meditation. She had been expecting no visitors, though she can only guess.
"A Hyuga Makoto."
'That's what I thought,' Misato said inwardly.
They walk down the spartan hallways and past the other prisoners' cells, whose occupants do little more than hootat the pair and brag about their exploits while in prison. Some pledge to Misato that she will inevitably become submissive to one of them, while others pledge to become submissive to her.
This prison has a very good safety record, and it is unlikely that any ill will befall the purple-headed thirty something. Instead, the only threat in this place seems to be from one's self..
They arrive at the prisoner's reception area. The room is divided in half by a row of desks with plated, sound-proof glass. The prisoners and their recipients can only talk to one another via the telephones placed at each desk.
"Five minutes." the guard states plainly, but with enough force behind it to indicate that violation of the time limit would not be tolerated.
Behind the glass is the visitor. He come before her in civilian's attire, his NERV uniform long since left behind since the Commander's arrest and NERV's shut-down by the UN. Though he looks through his thick-framed glasses upon her with pity and as a friend, Misato cannot help but feel as though he is silently judging her, feeling the burning accusations of his stare upon her pathetic form. The physical barrier between them does nothing to alleviate this.
But she has enough inner strength yet to meet his gaze.
Makoto is the first to pick up the phone. He is obviously saddened, but he does his best to put on a happy front for his former commanding officer. He motions for Misato to pick up hers. "How's it going?"
"It's going. You?"
Her lack of spirit wanes his own, but for her he will be strong. "Not too bad. Shigeru and Maya send their regards, but they've been busy with some other stuff lately and-"
"You don't have to make excuses for them, they've got their reasons. What's up?"
"I just thought that you should know that the funeral is still happening according to how you wanted it. It's still gonna be in three days. The ceremony will happen at the Tokyo-3 Memorial Cemetary, next to Yui Ikari's tombstone. Not too many people are invited, just the ones that you requested."
"Touji Suzahara, Kensuke Aida, and Hikari Horaki?"
"No reply from the Aida kid yet, but the other two have RSVP'd and confirmed that they'll be there. Naturally you'll get to be there, too."
"I think Shinji would have wanted it this way. No large crowds, you know?"
"Yeah."
"Are you offended that you guys weren't invited?" And by "you guys" she meant Makoto, the other two bridge technicians, and all the other former NERV staff who had worked with the younger Ikari.
"It's not our place to ask. I admit that we would've liked to have gone, but this is what you wanted."
"Thanks for understanding."
"It's no trouble."
There is a pause of awkward silence between them. Formal business discussions have been completed, but there is so much more waiting to be said. The awaiting verbal exchange is admittedly one-sided, though. On the side of Makoto.
Misato finally breaks the silence, come what may. "Why did you come here, Makoto? I mean REALLY come here? It wasn't just funeral arrangements, was it?"
"Well..I've been talking to your lawyer, and he thinks there's a strong chance that we can have your case appealed to a higher court. With some luck, you might be able to get a further reduced sentence, and if we play our cards right you could be aquitted entirely."
Misato doesn't seem moved by this. Not in the way Makoto had hoped for, anyway. If anything, she seemed almost dissapointed. "Aquitted, huh?"
He felt as though he had been shot down. "Well try not to sound too excited all at once."
"It's not that I'm ungrateful, Makoto. It's just that..um...there's no need for you to do that."
"Look, it's FINE. It's no trouble."
"No no, you don't understand. I don't want to be aquitted. I want you to call off the lawyer. Don't pursue the case any further, okay? Just drop it entirely."
"What! What are you talking about, 'don't pursue the case any further?' Misato, for what it's worth, you don't belong in he-"
"Don't say it, Makoto! Just...just don't say what isn't true."
"Wha what are you talking about? Don't talk like that."
"I'm a MURDERER, Makoto!" She buries her forehead into the wedge between her thumb and main finger, shielding the onset of tears from him. She begins to sob slightly, the truth being nothing new to her but no less painful. "Shinji's dead, and it's all my fault."
"That's not..that's not true."
She looks him straight in the eye. "What is true, then? Huh? I knew what he was going through, but I let him shut me out. I GAVE UP on him, Makoto! And now he's dead because of it. I'm no better than his father!"
He moves his free hand in front of him, palm flat and out towards Misato, gesturing for her to settle down. "Look, look just calm down, alright? A lot's happened in the past few days. You're just under a lot of stress and you're not thinking clearly." He's not entirely sure that he belives what he just said, but for now it only matters to him that this madness stop.
"No, Makoto, you're wrong about that. For the past few days my mind has never been so clear. I don't want leave prison, Makoto. This is my place now, this is where I belong."
"Would you just stop with that already! You would you just-"
"And you have to let go of me."
Makoto freezes up at those words. It would seem that, at some point in their time together, he had made his romantic attraction towards her a little too obvious. Her words, gentle though they may be, kill him softly. It is a rejection.
And even worse, it is a good-bye.
Misato closes her eyes, leans up against the plated glass and presses her lips against it, leaving a fine smudged imprint of her lips against the glass. This is as close as the young technician will ever get to getting the recognition he has both wanted and deserved. They're sitting only a meter away from one another, but in some cliché way he might as well have been an entire universe away.
Despite the previous chaos, her voice switches to a gentler, soothing tone. "You've been really sweet to me, Makoto. Almost to a fault. And there are times when, I admit, I exploited it. But even if you get me out of this place and sweep me off my feet into your castle off in the sunset and we live happily ever after, it won't change what I did. Whether I wake up tomorrow or a decade from now, I'll still feel the same about it. I killed him, Makoto. Maybe I didn't pull the trigger, but I killed him on the inside, because I wasn't there for him when he needed somebody the most."
"But..but.."
Now her voice grows more serious. "Now listen carefully. I know I've asked so much of you already, but before you go, I need to ask of you two more favors. Do you understand?"
Makoto is dumbfounded by all of this and highly confused. But all he knows to do is obey this woman in front of him, and so he nods in agreement.
"Good. The first favor is, no matter what happens, I want you to watch over Asuka. If she ever...WHEN she wakes up, look after her. I want you to take over has her guardian, at least until she goes back to Germany. Make sure she gets back to Germany safe and sound."
"You're..you're not going to be her guardian anymore?"
Misato broke eye contact, choosing instead to look sadly to the side. "I can't be her guardian anymore, Makoto. I can't face her anymore. Not after everything that's happened. Besides, there's nothing I can do while sitting behind bars."
"Alright. What's the second favor?"
"Don't visit me here anymore."
Though there is sadness in her response, its intention is clearly to be as cold as possible.
She hangs up her telephone with an abrupt CLICK! Just as she stands, the guard steps in to inform her that the five minutes are up.
But Misato beats her to it. "We're done here."
The guard does little more than nod in approval. They head back down the spartan hallways and back to the 3x3 meter cell.
The sound-proof glass absorbs the sobs of Makoto, completing his severance from her.
I have no idea what the penalty is for negligent homicide in Japan, I just made it up. I don't even know if such a thing exists, I think I heard it on Law and Order once. I don't even know if Misato would ever be charged with such a thing. But I decided that this is what happened.
Speaking of Law and Order, do you think I should have put in something like "insert trade mark L&O 'time and location' jingle" at the beginning of the trial?