AN: Paragraphs in italics indicate a flashback scene to the Season Eight episode 'Affinity.' If you haven't seen that episode, some of this chapter might not make much sense.

Chapter 10: Proposals
Later that evening

It was 0200 in the morning and Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c sat alone in the otherwise empty commissary. After spending a good part of the afternoon at Sam's bedside, keeping her entertained as she drifted in and out of consciousness, they had finally been kicked out of the infirmary.

Precisely a half hour before, Captain Adams, the strictest nurse at the SGC, had insisted that they all leave and get some rest. When none of the three men did as they were instructed, Captain Adams resorted to threatening to ban them entirely from the infirmary until they complied. At this warning, they had all reluctantly left Sam's side with the promise that they would return first thing in the morning.

Still too wired from the events of the day, the three men didn't really want to go to their quarters and sleep. So instead, Daniel had suggested they head to the commissary for a late night snack. Teal'c and Jack immediately perked up at the suggestion of food and they wholeheartedly agreed to the archaeologist's ingenious plan.

Once they had arrived at the commissary, they had raided the fridge and now were each enjoying a tall glass of cold milk and rather large pieces of chocolate fudge cake.

As they munched away at their desserts, a plethora of unanswered questions still raced through Daniel's brain.

In between bites, he continued his earlier interrogation of Jack. "You know, Jack… I've been thinking."

"You really don't give up, do you?" Jack flashed an intimidating glare in Daniel's direction. The look that would scare almost any airman on base unfortunately had absolutely no effect on the archaeologist.

Daniel merely thought for a moment and then replied, "Nope."

In response to this, Jack grunted in annoyance. "Well I've met my quota for one day, Daniel. Any more questions can wait till tomorrow."

A triumphant grin appeared on Daniel's face. "Actually, Jack…it's two o'clock in the morning. It is tomorrow," he astutely pointed out.

"Oh for crying out loud…I give up," Jack bellowed. "What do you want to ask?"

Daniel looked across the table at Jack thoughtfully before taking a large sip of his milk. He then stated almost cautiously, "One thing is still bothering me about your marriage to Sam."

"And what might that be?" Jack mumbled with his mouth half-full of cake.

"Why did it take her over two weeks to accept your marriage proposal? I mean… if it had actually been Pete proposing I could see her taking that long. But it was you…"

Jack swallowed his cake with difficulty before answering hesitantly, "Daniel…you have to understand. That first proposal was all about the mission. Jennings instructed me to propose, so I did. Although Sam and I had already been dating for about a month by that time, I don't think either one of us had even contemplated marriage. I think the idea was a little scary for both of us."

"But Colonel Carter eventually did consent to become your wife, O'Neill. Did she not?" Teal'c inquired.

"Yeah, she did, Teal'c. But it took a long time before she was comfortable with the idea. When I proposed, Sam said she needed more time. Then she practically went AWOL on me. She ended up hiding out in her lab and staying on base all the time. Then we had to investigate what was going on with Teal'c's neighbor and we were just too busy to talk about anything else. Besides, Sam didn't really want to talk about it. And then there was the whole communication problem…"

"What communication problem do you speak of, O'Neill?" Teal'c questioned.

"You know… Carter and I have never been all that good at communicating with each other about our feelings."

"Ya think?" Daniel replied sarcastically.

After a shooting Daniel a warning look, Jack put down his fork and shook his head regretfully. "Have us talk about military strategy or missions and we have no problems… we can practically read each other's minds. But when Sam and I start talking about our personal relationship… that's a whole other story."

Jack pushed his now empty plate to the side and finished off his milk in one large gulp. After he placed his empty glass off to the side near his plate, he continued his explanation. "Around the time I proposed, Sam and I were on base a lot of the time and we never knew who might be listening. We still weren't sure if there were other moles stationed at the SGC. So half of the time, our conversations had to practically be in code. You can imagine how difficult it was to have a meaningful conversation about our relationship while making it seem to any eavesdroppers that we were actually talking about Sam and Pete's relationship. Needless to say, it got to the point that our conversations were damned confusing, cryptic almost. In the process, everything got screwed up. If we had just been straightforward about how we felt from the start, a lot of doubt and hurt could've been avoided."

Daniel looked at his friend in concern, wondering what could have happened all those months ago that still bothered his friend so much. "What happened, Jack?" he asked.

Jack pounded on her front door, refusing to cease until she answered it. He had been waiting over two weeks for her answer. Every time he had attempted to broach the subject, she had either insisted that she needed more time or had interrogated him with weird questions about where he would be if things were different. This evening he was determined to get some straightforward answers and he wasn't going to leave until he did.

Sam answered the door a few moments later. She was dressed in baggy sweats and looked as if she had settled in for a pint of ice cream, a chick flick, and a good cry. Without even greeting her, he abruptly pushed past her into her foyer and continued walking straight down the hall into her kitchen.

He could hear her socked feet softly padding down the hall behind him. When he got to the kitchen, he turned around to face her and demanded, "You wanna tell me why you're avoiding me?"

Sam cringed at the anger she saw in his eyes. She had been avoiding this very conversation for two weeks. It was why she had been spending so much time on base. Only there could she avoid having a real conversation with him about his proposal. He had tried to get some answers out of her the previous evening when he came to her lab. But that conversation only served to further confuse and alienate them both. And she knew instinctively that it was the reason why he had come to her house this evening.

From his tense and irritated demeanor she knew that she could no longer delay the inevitable. It was time for the truth.

"I can't marry you, Jack," Sam practically whispered, reluctant to hurt him as she knew her refusal would.

A look of total shock appeared on his face before it was quickly replaced by complete and utter disappointment. Upset and confused at her admission, he asked with a slight tremor in his voice, "Why not? Don't you realize that it's what Jennings and the Trust expect?"

Sam raised herself up to her full height, standing at attention before him. If he hadn't been so upset, he would have found the sight of Sam standing ramrod straight in her fluffy socks and baggy sweats completely adorable. But all he could feel was anger and sorrow building in his soul.

Sam, still standing at attention before him, nodded once and bolstered her resolve. "That's precisely why I can't do it. I can't go through with a marriage to a man who only wants to marry me because of a mission. It's too much to ask. In my opinion we only have two options. One – you can tell Jennings that I refused because I thought it was too soon to get engaged. That way we can keep on dating and the mission can still go on. Two – we can go through with a fake wedding."

Jack gaped in complete disbelief, finally understanding why she had been avoiding him for so long. "Where did you ever get the idea that I didn't really want to marry you?"

Sam shrugged uncertainly. She had been assuming all along that he was only proposing because of the mission. She would never have suspected that his proposal had been in earnest. "We've really only been dating for a month, Jack. Don't you think it's a bit soon?"

Jack's eyes filled with determination, knowing immediately that he had to convince her of his feelings for her. It always amazed him that his strong and confident second-in-command could be so uncertain and vulnerable when it came to romantic relationships. He found it truly remarkable that she could still be doubtful about his feelings for her.

Jack gently took one of her hands in his and softly replied, "I think I've been in love with you for years now. If you ask me, it's long enough."

"You love me?" Sam's eyes widened in shock as she whispered the question in astonishment.

Jack took a step towards her so that their bodies were only centimeters apart. Instead of answering her right away, he reached out with his free hand and tenderly cupped her face. He then ran his fingertips over her face, exploring the lines and planes of her forehead and cheek before brushing his fingers through her hair and resting his hand at the back of her neck. He lightly pulled her forward into a slow, insistent, exploratory kiss.

When the kiss finally ended and their lips reluctantly parted, Jack finally provided an answer to her question. He leaned his forehead gently against hers and whispered, "Sam… I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone. I guess the question is… how do you feel about me?"

Sam, still recovering from the dizzying effect of his kiss, smiled shyly and blushed at his revelation. She then quietly offered her own, "I have never loved anyone more than you, Jack."

At her words, Jack smiled sensuously, his eyes suddenly filled with desire. It was precisely the answer he had been hoping for. "Well then… it's seems you've been hiding from me for two weeks for no reason whatsoever. What do you say we make up for lost time?"

Sam responded with a matching smile. She tilted her face up to meet his and captured his lips in a blinding kiss. When it was apparent that their self-control was gradually slipping away, she abruptly pulled back from his lips and whispered, "Bedroom…" and then took his hand in hers and led him down the hall.

An hour later, they were lying in bed, tangled happily in each other's embrace. Sam curled into Jack's body, craving the closeness that she had denied herself for over two weeks.

As they laid there in silence, Jack suddenly asked, "Do you want to tell me what that conversation yesterday evening was all about?"

Sam moaned at the memory of their earlier conversation in her lab and buried her face in his chest in embarrassment. She felt ridiculous for avoiding him and for keeping him waiting for an answer for so long. But most of all, she was embarrassed at so much of what she had said the previous evening.

Tentatively, she began to explain, "I knew exactly why you came to my lab last night. It was because you wanted to know why I hadn't answered your proposal and why I had been avoiding you."

Jack chuckled lightly as he stroked her arm with his fingertips. "You're right on the money there. But why did you show me the ring… why the whole charade?"

Sam pillowed her head on his chest, seeking comfort in his warmth. "I was trying to make you see how freaked out I was about the whole thing. You have to admit the whole proposal in the park was not the most romantic way to get engaged."

Jack turned his head to look her in the eye, trying to determine whether she was upset or not at his method of proposing. "You know why I did it that way… they were watching. It was part of the mission, for crying out loud. Is that why you were upset with me? My proposal wasn't romantic enough?"

Sam tightened her arms around him, reassuring him. "No… it had nothing to do with how you proposed. It's just, I hoped that if and when we got engaged it would be about us… not a mission. That we wouldn't be doing it because someone told us to… it would be because we wanted to."

Jack sighed gloomily and kissed her brow. "I know... it's not my ideal either, Sam. But I do want to marry you. Just see it this way… Jennings telling me to propose to you just provided me with an opportunity to do something that I have wanted to do for a very long time."

"Really?" Sam lifted her head and propped her chin on his chest, her expression filled with wonder and amazement.

Jack smiled openly at her reaction, overwhelmed that he had the power to make her so happy just by admitting how he truly felt about her. "You betcha. What was the rest of the conversation about? You know… kids and daycare and the crab nebula?"

Sam's joyous countenance faded slightly, as it was replaced with an expression of worry. "I guess I needed to find out how you felt about those things. If we do get married, Jack… will you still be okay with me going out on missions?"

"Of course," he answered matter-of-factly, not giving it a second thought.

"And if we do decide to have a family?"

Jack rolled her over onto her back. He leaned over her and cradled her head gently between his hands, proceeding to plant a resolute and reassuring kiss on her lips. "As Bratac would say… we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But if you want kids, we will figure out how to make it work. If you don't, that's okay too. We can talk about it some more tomorrow if you want."

"Okay…" Sam replied as he rolled once more onto his back, pulling her with him until she was once again snuggled soundly by his side. They began drifting off to sleep, Sam's head once again pillowed on Jack's chest.

"Jack…?" Sam asked, unsure of whether he was already asleep.

"Hmm…?"

"What did you mean when you said you wouldn't be here if things were different?"

That one statement he had made had been bothering her all day long. She had no idea what he had meant by it. Did he mean that he longed for things to be different? Would he rather be someplace else than at the SGC, working alongside her? Would he rather be with someone else? She knew with certainty that one statement would continue to plague her throughout the night if she didn't get an answer from him.

Jack laughed softly, amused that she had read so much into his statement. "At the time, I meant that if you had just accepted my proposal in the first place and hadn't been avoiding me for two weeks that I wouldn't have had to ambush you in your lab at 0130. Personally, I like to think that we would have been somewhere other than your lab… like here in bed… like we are now. Don't you think this is much nicer place to be than your lab?"

He paused, realizing that Carter's lab was one of her favorite places on Earth, and added, " Wait a minute… you better not answer that one."

"Oh…" she muttered, never expecting the meaning behind his words would be so straightforward and simple. He literally had meant that he logistically would have been in a different place...with her. "Sorry about that," she apologized.

"No problem. Now that we've settled everything, can we get some sleep now? I haven't slept all that well for the past couple of weeks."

Sam nodded and smiled at him sleepily. "Me too. But I think we will both be sleeping a lot better from now on."

"We will," Jack agreed, "now that we're together again."

"So you two worked everything out and Sam finally said 'yes'?" Daniel asked questioningly.

Jack had a faraway look on his face as he thought back to the moment when she had finally agreed to marry him. "She did… and not just to a fake marriage between with Pete Shanahan. She agreed to a real marriage between me and her. Of course, we weren't planning on going through with it so soon. But then we were in Utah and everything just seemed… so right. Being in Zion and then going to Vegas… it was the opportunity to make everything all right."

"How so, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.

Jack smiled contentedly as he explained, "When I proposed to Sam in the park that first time… that was part of the mission. It was 'Pete' proposing to Sam for the benefit of the Trust. It was a set-up…we knew they were watching. When I proposed to her for the second time that day in the Narrows at Zion…it was just the two of us. And it was me, Jack, proposing to Sam – the woman I love. In that moment, she was all that mattered…not the mission, not the Trust, not the SGC."

Jack sat back in his chair, relaxed and content. Even though he hated talking about his feelings, he had to admit that it had been a relief to share his deepest thoughts and secrets with Daniel and Teal'c. He had been hiding his emotions from them for so long. The secrets…the mission…the lies...it was a burden he and Sam had carried alone for almost a year. It was comforting to now know that he would no longer have to hide anything from his two friends… and that he and Sam would no longer be the only ones to carry the burden.

TBC