The title of this chapter is referring to why Remus handled Sirius's death so well. The following story, along with all he's undoubtedly been through has given him a tough armor from the display of emotion. Even though he still is this devastated about Sirius's death, he's felt this before. He becomes afraid of his own tears; because his tears made him feel the full blast of it all... he wants to numb the pain.

Remus was sitting idly by the fire reading the papers when he had fallen fast asleep. Sirius had just left to go visit Lily and James. Remus was waiting for his grandmother to show up so he couldn't go with him. His grandmother never showed up, but that's a different story. In the morning Remus got a very ambiguous wake-up call. He started and looked up to see three owls who were trying loudly to get through the closed window. He pulled himself together and walked over to the window to let them in. One by one they flew inside, ruffled their slightly wet feathers and stuck out their legs. Remus detached the letters from their legs and started with the message with "MINISTRY OF MAGIC" on it, printed in official looking writing.

Dear Remus Lupin,

We are more than happy to announce to the whole wizarding world that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is has at last been driven down!

Remus stared at the page and his jaw dropped in shock and surprise.

We can safely assure you that you can remove the heavy blinds, excessive magical locks, and many alarm systems from your homes and live in peace. If you would like to attend a meeting discussing the downfall of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, come to the ministry of Magic on September 9th and contribute to the now much safer magical community.

Yours Sincerely,

Rufus Scrimgeour

New Head of the Auror Office

"Merlin's Beard!" cried Remus joyously, "He's gone! Voldemort's gone! Hallelujah! I should celebrate! Hoorah!" But then he stopped, realizing nobody was in the room and proceeded to open the second letter his heart still soaring. This one did not contain such happy news.

Dear Remus,

There is something I would like to tell you but I'm afraid the impact will be worse in a letter. Please see me in my office as soon as you can. Bring your favorite coat.

Yours truly,

Albus Dumbledore

As soon as I read this letter, thought Remus. He was still happy but a slight twinge of fear irritated him. His favorite coat? This only meant bad news. Remus had a very special coat… he had it since he was very young…. Over all, the letter from Dumbledore did not sound good. Remus opened the third letter carefully, and then looked down to read it.

Dear Mr. Lupin,

We understand that you share a home with Mr. Sirius O. Black. Several accumulative events have led to the arrest and imprisonment of your said roommate. He is being kept in cell 1316 in Azkaban prison for reasons that Albus Dumbledore will be taking the liberty to explain to you. He will be sending a letter summoning you and it should arrive about the same time as this one.

From,

Shane Vide

Supervisor of Azkaban Prison

Remus gaped at the letter. His head was spinning and he was breathing feverishly. Sirius in Azkaban! It was too hard for Remus to comprehend. He was gasping for breath and he staggered back into the soft armchair. His head was buzzing, but through, good old Remus managed to think up one logical thought. I have to see Dumbledore. He grabbed his coat, staggered to the fireplace, and, throwing in a pinch of floo powder yelled, "Dumbledore's Office, Hogwarts School!" And he vanished.

"Hello Remus, please sit down." It was Dumbledore. Remus had emerged from the fire holding his coat tightly, brushed himself off from all the soot, and sat down in the comfortable chair Dumbledore had conjured up for him. Instead of being on the other side of Dumbledore's desk, it was by the fireplace where Dumbledore was also sitting.

"I er… I got a letter from Azkaban," said Remus shakily. "It's about S-Sirius."

"I'm aware of that," Dumbledore said softly, "And I will discuss this with you, but not right away. Firstly, as I'm sure you know, Voldemort has fallen." He paused here as if to let the statement sink in. "I wish to tell you how this happened. Are you ready?" Remus nodded. It was as if he was a little kid who had gotten into trouble and been taken to the headmaster's office.

"As you know, Voldemort was very keen on finding and… and killing the Potters. Last night… He found them. He got to their house. The Fideleus Charm was… fully functional, and yet it did no good. And then He killed Lily and… and James. James tried to protect his family, but was killed and Lily… she tried to protect harry… He killed her as well. Then he turned on Harry and uttered the killing curse… and it rebounded on Harry and came at Voldemort, leaving nothing but a lighting bolt shaped scar upon Harry's forehead… and an orphaned child."

Dumbledore stopped here, watching Remus. His skin had turned very pale and he did not seem to be breathing. After a few seconds he began taking in sharp, rasping intakes of breath, as if he had forgotten how to breathe, and his eyes were very wide, as wide as they would get during his transformation to a werewolf. But all these strange symptoms were not him transforming into a werewolf. This was grief, and shock, and over all, horror at what had happened. Remus was still breathing abnormally, and then he began to cry. He sobbed heartily, shoulders shaking, he cried as if it he were a child with skinned knees watching his mother bleed to death. He bent double, putting his face into his lap where his coat lay, and he hugged his coat so tightly, that if it were a person, they would choke to death. Dumbledore knew better than to try and comfort this man. Nothing could comfort him now. After a few minutes, Remus's crying became quieter, though tears were still streaming down his face and his shoulders were still shaking with sobs, he was determined to listen to the rest of Dumbledore's explanation. Dumbledore sensed this and continued carefully.

"And there is something else… something I did not know of when I sent you that owl. Earlier today, very early in the morning, Sirius was seen with Peter and, he killed him. All that was left was a finger, and a heap of clothes. Peter had tracked down Sirius to get him back for… for betraying Lily and James. Sirius sold Lily and James out to Voldemort. He told him their whereabouts, and, of course, Voldemort could then find them, as the secret keeper had revealed the information. Sirius is now serving a life's sentence in Azkaban. And Remus… He betrayed Lily and James." This part, it seemed, was even painful for Dumbledore to say.

"NO!" shouted Remus, "HE WOULDN'T DO THAT! HE SAID HE'D RATHER DIE! NO NO NO NO NO I WON'T HEAR IT NO!" he was once again acting like a child, but he didn't care anymore. The pain was overwhelming and he was still crying. He refused to believe that Sirius would do that. It hurt too much. Dumbledore remained silent for a few seconds and then spoke.

"Remus, I know this is painful. All your friends are dead, but one turning out to be a traitor, I know it hurts, but in the end, I'm afraid you have to except it, okay?" Remus nodded shakily, as he had burst into a flurry of renewed sobs. Sirius was a traitor. Remus would never have thought this would happen. He was convinced that Sirius would've done as he had, and died rather than betray Lily and James.

"Are you ready to go home now?" Dumbledore asked kindly. Remus nodded, got up, and staggered, half blinded by tears, to the fire. He threw in the floo powder, but words would ot come out of his mouth. Dumbledore saw this and walked into the fire too.

"Number Fourteen, Harrington Road!" said Dumbledore calmly. They disappeared in a burst of green flames and reappeared at Remus's house. "Goodbye, Remus." and he disapparated. Remus was shaking feverishly and clutching his coat. He walked slowly to his room and lay down, fully clothed. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but he realized that it was too empty. Not just the house, Remus had slept in an empty house plenty of times before, but the world. He felt as if everybody he knew was leaving him behind, all alone. But there was a thought that twisted his insides and made him screw up his face in horror. That thought was of what Sirius had done. He knew that he had to have done it, but something in the back of his brain was telling him that something wasn't right. Remus smelled a rat and he had no idea why. He rolled over in his bed and, after a few hours, cried himself to sleep.