Authors Note: Thanks Riska, Lore2, Liz, petriebird18, fox24, bea and amelia for your reviews. Every single one means a lot to me. I'm glad some of you came out of lurkdom – the things a cliffhanger can do – should I include more (or was that just coincidence)? I don't like long AN's but this time I feel I have to individualize a little - sorry.

Riska: I just want to write so much thoughts as she can actually have during these fast conversations without missing the dialogue. It's my take that she can't think too much. Plus I think that too many thoughts are disturbing the flow of the dialogue.

Bea: Thanks so much for your lovely review. Great that you discovered the story. Enjoy reading and feel free to review even old chapters. It means a lot to me.

Amelia: I would've written you an email, but unfortunately I don't know it. About the 'begging' – I don't feel like I'm begging – more that I'm reminding my readers to review. I have an average review of less than 3 per chapter for this story, but I can read in my profile that every new chapter is clicked upon about 70 times. I know you can double click but it has to be more than 3 people reading it. I spend several hours writing each chapter and I think it's only fair to expect a little review (which takes you a few minutes or less) from my readers. Before writing myself I wasn't a big reviewer, but since I am I know the feeling of total happiness when you get one, and since then I'm reviewing a lot more. What I don't like to read at the end of a chapter is 'I won't post the next one until I'm getting 7 reviews' or something like that – and I never posted such a thing. Because after all I'm still writing this for myself as well. But sometimes I only continue because I know people are waiting and I feel I have the right to remind them – or as you call it guilt them - into reviewing. And since this is my first fic, I don't know whether or not I'm talented, so it's up to you to tell me. I know you weren't rude, but I felt like responding, so that you get my POV, since you said you're not writing yourself. That being said I'm looking forward to read more from you and I hope I haven't offended you either.

And now let's all read the heart of this story – the reason why I wrote this whole story – the scene that takes place after Emily's 'Come Home'. Enjoy!

Chapter 37: The Reconciliation

He's looking at me. It seems that we're really looking at each other for the first time in a long time. Slowly he's walking towards me. We're facing each other – my heart is beating so loud, I'm sure he has to hear it. I can feel that he's about to kiss me – and I really want to kiss him, to feel him, but I know that we wouldn't solve anything, if we would start to kiss right now. So I'm retreating a few steps – I can see his disappointed face – I hate myself for it, but he has to understand. Say something Emily!

"Can we talk – please?" I ask him softly.

"Yes, I suppose we should." he answers sighing a little.

Talking isn't our thing – at least not the talking that's about to happen now. Somehow I always knew that this had to happen, but am I prepared? I don't know – I can only hope I am.

"Thank you."

He's taking my coat.

"Thank you."

He nods. I'm heading to the living-room and he's following me. I pray that I'm able to say everything I have to say without hurting him too much.

"Do you want a drink?" he asks me.

I can't say that I want one, but I know that he wants one, and well - gives me more time to think about my speech – the speech I had in mind for so long but never said. In a way I'm dreading it – afraid of the outcome.

"Yes please."

He's going over to the drink cart and I hear him cursing silently – that's what happens when you steal the big cart. It's a good feeling to still being able to think in a sarcastic way.

"Can't say that we have much of a choice. – Here." he says handing me my drink.

"Thank you." I answer – giving him a weak smile.

I'm sipping a little – then I'm putting the drink on the table. I have to start now.

"Richard you don't have to talk when you don't want to – but I have a lot to say to you, so please listen to me – that's all I ask of you."

He nods again looking at me – waiting for me to start.

"Though before I start I have one question – something I've asked myself for so long: Do you know why I left you?"

He's staring at me – a little confused, but I have to know.

"Well I guess because of Floyd's lawsuit and everything that followed then."

"Yes – and no."

He's looking more confused than before.

"I would've never left you because of Floyd's lawsuit – but then you sued Jason, and I was really scared to lose Lorelai. I came to you and asked you if that would be really necessary, and all you answered was that you have to do what you have to do. You didn't even listen to me Richard – you weren't talking to me. I had to find out all the things concerning the lawsuit by accident or after questioning you so much that you gave in. You weren't consulting me anymore. And it started earlier. I didn't feel needed anymore – remember how you cancelled my party and took the clients to Atlantic City instead? You just brushed it off – you brushed me off – at least that's what I felt."

I can see the pain in his eyes – but I have to say it. Looking at him, he really hadn't thought about this the way I do. Suddenly I know exactly what I did wrong, recognizing the mistake Hope was talking of. So I continue.

"I know that this is my fault, too. I should have told you all of this months ago – but I didn't. I thought you had to know how I feel but apparently you didn't and - I'm sorry. I really am Richard. And I don't want you to do everything I say, I just want to be your partner – someone you can rely on, someone you can talk to. I apologize for not telling you all of this before – well I did the night the cops came, but we were both angry then and I guess you didn't even listen properly. - I've waited that night for you, you know?" I say my eyes filled with tears.

"Oh Emily…" he says looking lost.

The tears are rolling down my cheeks – I can't help it. Slowly he comes over to me – sitting next to me. He has tears in his eyes too – I can't stand looking at him so I'm looking down on my hands – a tear is falling upon them. Suddenly he's putting his hand on top of mine – and it calms me down.

"Emily – I can't tell you how sorry I am – I should've recognized all of this – but I didn't. I was too busy with Jason and the new business… I have to apologize – and I do. I am very, very sorry."

I look up at him and nod.

"And it's not true Emily – I need you. I need you more than anything. Those last months were terrible. I was always waiting for you to come back."

You were waiting? I was waiting!

"Why didn't you come – why didn't you fight for me Richard? I was waiting for you – all the time I was waiting for you."

"I wasn't the one who left Emily – and I really had no knowledge that you felt neglected though now everything makes sense. I was waiting for you to come."

So Hope was right – of course she was right.

"And I came – several times – it was always me who had to make appointments…"

"But you didn't say anything about us. I thought you didn't want us anymore."

"We were both stubborn." I smile weakly at him.

"Emily I'll change – I promise. But you have to tell me when you feel that way again."

I nod.

"Do you think you can forgive me?" he asks – looking very serious.

And I know I already have – I'm so glad that we've finally overcome all of this.

"Yes. – And will you accept my apology?"

"Yes."

We're looking at each other – both relieved that everything is over.

"We could have had that much earlier – perhaps I should've rear-ended your car months ago." he says winking at me.

Oh no – Simon. How could I have forgotten about him? He had to find out in a business meeting. Again I feel guilty. I know he deserves an explanation, even when he's willing to let it go.

"Richard?" I say looking anxiously at him.

"Yes?"

"I never should've done this."

Again he's looking confused.

"I never should have dated Simon McLane."

I can feel him stiffen.

"I'm sorry – I was still married – I don't know how I could've ever…" I'm looking down – ashamed.

"and after everything I've said about you meeting Pennylin…" I'm biting my lip – then I'm looking at him again.

"I swear nothing happened Richard – not even a kiss."

He nods. Thank God he believes me. But I know I have to finish this.

"I'm asking for your forgiveness." I whisper.

It's still not easy for me to say these words.

"I forgive you, Emily."

"Thank you."

"And perhaps this is what had to happen – you don't know how jealous I was – from the moment I found out about your date I was sure that I couldn't let it go – nearly forty years of marriage. I knew that I still loved you. And I do – I love you."

I can't describe the feeling those words are giving me. I've waited for them for so long.

"I love you." I say looking into his eyes.

He's bending over to kiss me and this time I'm not retreating. He's caressing my face with his hand before lifting my chin a little – and then he's kissing me – tenderly. This kiss says more than all words could possibly say. I feel loved again. With time the kiss becomes more passionate and I give in. I'm totally his.

After what feels to have been a long time we're breaking the kiss – both in need to breathe. I'm looking at him – I'm so in love with this man – I don't know how I survived the last months. I'm leaning my head against his chest and he puts his arms around me.

"Promise me you'll never leave me again." he whispers.

"I promise."

We remain in this position for a while – both enjoying the presence of the other.

"Emily?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't you think we should go upstairs? It's much more comfortable there – you want me to sleep in our bed again, do you?" he adds – sounding a little nervous.

"Of course I do – I could never sleep well without you."

"Same here."

We're standing up to walk up the stairs together – my hand in his. When we're entering our bedroom – yes our bedroom, not mine – he looks around. His eyes focussed on his pajama.

"You haven't changed anything."

"No I haven't. – I couldn't. This way I could always hope…"

He's kissing me again, pulling me close to him. He's kissing my lips, my face, my neck – all the while whispering compliments in my ear And I know where this is leading – we're about to fully make up. Before he's starting to undress me he's looking at me.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Yes – yes I am." I say while loosening his bow tie.

But I can't prevent my hands from shaking a little – after all our last time was months ago.

"Are you nervous?" he asks me softly.

"Are you nervous?"

I've just removed the tiara from my hair – my hands a little shaking. Richard is looking at me.

"Yes." I admit.

"Don't be."

"I'll try."

He's bending down to kiss me. I'm still nervous. I don't want to disappoint him. And I'm a little scared of it. He's unbuttoning my dress, placing kisses on my neck and my shoulders. I know I shouldn't ask him, but I have to.

"Richard?"

"Yes my dear?" he says still kissing me.

But I don't know how to say it.

"What is it Emmy?" now he's looking at me - questioningly.

"Never mind."

Still he's giving me his questioning look.

"I shouldn't ask you this. It's ok." I say kissing him.

"You can ask me anything. So what is it?" he asks taking my hands in his.

I love him so much. I have barely eaten the whole day. This is the man I'm spending the rest of my life with. And he's right – I should be able to ask him anything. I'm looking up at him.

"Promise to be gentle."

"I promise."

And that he was. Why am I feeling as if this would be my wedding-night? He's still looking at me.

"A little." I admit.

He's kissing me again. Just as he's about to undress me he's looking into my eyes.

"I promise to be gentle."

"You do remember?"

"Every moment."

I love him so much and looking in his eyes I see his love for me. It seems ridiculous that I was ever doubting it.

"I love you Richard."

"I love you Emmy."

I hope I at least fulfilled your expectations a little. I'm dying to hear your thoughts on this chapter since as previously stated this chapter is the main reason for the whole story.