Author's Note: This chapter was mainly inspired by a song my friend Savannah gave to me…it makes this chapter sort of bittersweet…I finished this chapter right after the previous, but FF.Net was closed for the time being…and it was supposed to go up on Valentine's Day…Anyway, hope you like this chapter.

~LOSSES AND GAINS

Jill sat there, mourning the losses in her life. The first lost she ever experienced was that of the loss of her mother, then her father, Dick, was incarcerated for thievery. She's also had to deal with the smaller losses as well, but those weren't anything important to her—they were just little dogs here and there.

Sitting there, holding a picture of her "family" in London—when they were all together. It all brought a tear to her eye. Her family was departing from her; it wasn't fair, not at all.

Her heart was in two different places at once; one end was Chris, the other Carlos. But what was worst was that she slept with both of them, and in consecutive nights! Moreover, she shattered her relationship with Chris by yelling the wrong name in bed.

"Jill," Rebecca said, entering her room quietly.

"What, Becca?" Are you leaving me, too?" Jill asked her, holding back a flood of tears, still staring down at the picture.

"Jill, I wouldn't leave you, you're my friend." Becca replied, stepping closer to Jill and then finally sitting down on her bed adjacent to her. "I remember that entourage—Big Ben, and then there's that scary woman who kept on touching Claire." She giggled, pointing at the only Brit woman in sapphire—she constantly stared—stalked, really—at Claire.

Jill actually managed to crack a smile on her face, remembering the woman the followed them (rather, Claire) to every pub, club, hotel and motel, and most anywhere they went. She was really scary at times, especially when she would walk up to Claire and sniff her hair—freaky! Jill placed the picture down next to her on her bedspread.  

"Becca,"

"Yeah, Jill,"

"Are they still at the hotel?" Jill asked her, (she was asking about Chris, Barry, and Claire), finally turning her head toward her.

"Ya wanna go?" Rebecca asked her, and then reaching into her pocket. "I have the car keys with me right now."

"Let's go," she said, reaching down for her sweatshirt that sprawled on the floor.

Ring-ring-ring! Ring-ring-ring!

"I'll get it!" Rebecca yelled, rushing into the hall to pick up the phone.  Jill, from where she was, could catch every word that was being said by Rebecca. "Oh…no…I'm sorry…sure…Jill, it's for you!" Rebecca called from the hall; Jill got up and walked out of her room. As soon as she got into the hall she could see a sorrowful look on her face as if someone had just died.

"Who is it, Becca?" Jill asked her, but she didn't respond, she just handed her the receiver, Jill took it and answered. "Hello,"

"Jill," said the voice on the other end. The floating voice on that side sounded so sweet, so cool (but not calm), and so exotic, and all at the same time.

"Carlos," she said mournfully, almost shedding all the tears she tried so hard to keep inside.

"Jill, I—uh, I have to tell you something—something important…" he said in a sort of slow monotone.

"Carlos," Jill murmured through the receiver.

"Jill, I always thought we were meant to be because the way we met in Emma's Diner. It was—it was—was all too good to be true, Jill. The first time I set eyes on you (despite the fact that we were being chased by Nemesis) I knew that you and I would survive together cause I really, truly thought we were supposed to be together forever, Jill. And we did. We escaped Raccoon together, facing near death; Jill, we even shared one bed (and floor) together. I don't know what I did wrong to make you keep away from me like you're doin' now."

Carlos went on talking, but Jill had interrupted him, answering his last question (sort of). "You don't know what you did wrong?! You were having an affair with Elaine, Carlos!"

"But that was before you…"

Wrong thing to say…

"Oh, now am I one of your skanky little whore friends, who's only there to be fucked?! Now, Carlos! I—I don't even know why I slept with you in the first place," she lied, "Arrogant bastard."

"Jill, No," Carlos begged.

"Don't you 'Jill, no' me, Carlos! I'm just a side dish—a dessert—an appetizer for aren't I?! Well if you think you could just throw me around like your little bitch, I wouldn't be breathing, Carlos!" she screamed, almost deafening him on the other end of the phone. Rebecca did nothing but stare at Jill's ferociousness, she's never seen her this mad—the last time she saw her this mad was when Jill found out that Rebecca deleted all the digital pictures of her and Chris on their computer, but now this is like, ten times that.

"Jill, let me get to my point!" Carlos exclaimed, getting Jill to finally shut her trap. "Jill, I really just called you to tell you that—well, that I'm leaving now."

Jill was lost of words; she was literally speechless at the moment. Before he was furious, outraged, just plain angry at the guy, but now that he's told her that he's leaving made her think for a bit.

'Carlos,'

Carlos went on. "Jill, the relationship that was going—between us…I don't even know…well, Jill, I don't even know if there really was a relationship between us…maybe I'm just your little toy, Jill,"

"So now you're turning it around on me! Bastard! I'm not some Barbie who's looking for a Ken or G.I. Joe! I'm me, Carlos! I wouldn't do anything like that!" she lied again, almost wanting to kill herself for doing so—she had the perfect chance to tell him the truth of why she really did sleep with him, but something more negative came out in its place.

Jill slammed her hand, in a fist, on the table, nearly knocking off the vase. Rebecca was literally moon-eyed, she couldn't believe what she was hearing, even though she knew that Jill had slept with Carlos, but hearing it again (with the additional arguing) was awkward and incredulous.

Even though Rebecca couldn't hear what Carlos was saying on the other end, she could still imagine his reactions towards Jill—(she could make assumptions because she's been with Carlos [secretly], they had a little "relationship in London and Paris—she had yet to tell Jill this).

"Jill, you don't understand, do you? You're the one who came back to me while at the mall! You yourself wanted me as only your boy toy! I only did what I did because I only thought we were meant to be together!" Carlos proclaimed—Rebecca could just barely make out his words.

"So now you're calling me a whore! Bastard…"

"Jill," Carlos said. "I'm leaving and I don't want you to come and see me…you could stay home with Chris and seduce him like you did me!" (He does not know of the little Chris & Jill night thing yet). And then he hung up the phone before she could say anything else to him. The monotones of the phone droned on and on like her mixed feelings for Chris and Carlos.

"Jill, I'm sorry," Rebecca said, walking over to Jill to comfort her.

"Its okay, Becca" Jill wept, letting loose her emotions on Rebecca's T-shirt. "I fucked up big time this time, didn't I, Becca?" Jill giggled some, trying to cheer herself up (a rhetorical question to ask someone, yes).

Jill was in the living room, reading a "Cosmopolitan," skimming through the pages for the hottest guy she could find in there—(she did this often when she was younger and not in love with two men at the same time).

"'Billy O'Brian...'" she whispered, stopping at the "centerfold of the "Cosmo". It was really the only thing that could take her mind off of either Chris or Carlos. it was sort of her relaxing period from which she could leave her hell land and into a paradise where men would be perfect and there was only one man for her. But of course none of this could ever be true; no one is perfect after all. Not even the two men that she truly cares for. But just for now, everything could be whatever she wants it to be—true paradise.

She wants a place where her heart could not be broken. She wanted a place that's warm around her body, a new entourage that would please her very much—a perfect and dreamy man, hers and only hers for the taking. Yet again, perfection is not a liable thing, and it most likely does not exist, at least for her.

Love is true passion, shared with another person who feels the same way; and yet, love is destruction, causing the demise between two people. And together love is a beautiful substance that exists in us all, and in such a cruel world.

Even when one's heart can stretch for two, love is too strong of a word to be said to someone you used, and that someone was once something you thought you'd never have the chance to be with.

It was all so surreal in its surrealistic way. Sleeping with Carlos one night, then Chris the next, then messing everything up in a mere fifteen minutes; her "perfect" little paradise seemed obscured now, lost someone in the minds of hate and love. Billy O'Brian, now, was just some other guy in a girl's magazine just for goggling at. It was pathetic, really, but it was the only way she could try and keep herself happy, for once.

Billy, (Rebecca's boyfriend), had entered the apartment. It was noon, he was just back from his one hour break from work. He walked up the flight of stairs, Rebecca wasn't home at the moment, he suspected Jill to be though, she hasn't left the apartment in a week now. Carlos was gone in New York, away from Jill. Well, none of that was any of his business anyway. All he cared about right now was getting something to eat, get a bit of rest, and then head back to work. Since he was a "convict" now he had to lay low and change his name to the public to Eugene Edmunds, finance to Miss Rebecca Chambers, soon to be Mrs. Rebecca Chambers Edmunds (but of course they weren't really engaged yet, it was something that popped up in his mind when he was changing his identity). As of now, he's working as a construction worker, making a mere nineteen thousand a year, while on the other hand, Rebecca makes a bit more as a biochemist/virologist down at the Abraham Institute for Biochemistry and Virology, a.k.a. AIBV as its acronym.

When he finally made it up to his apartment, he opened the door, finding Jill lying down on the couch reading a magazine. She looked up at him, seeing him in his tight tank top and loose jeans, and a smug look on his face which was covered in dirt—his shirt wasn't so white either, nor his jeans. He had gotten rid of his tattoo on his right arm because it was starting to bug Rebecca and Jill.

He stood there, staring at her as she stared back at him.

She never really thought much of Billy, and also because she wouldn't want to hurt little Becca's heart by trying to snatch him away from her (which she would never do!), and mainly because he was a mere friend to her—yeah, like Carlos and Chris were.

And then she suddenly thought of someone else…probably the sweetest and most sincere guy next to Chris Redfield. He was by the name of Leon Scott Kennedy. He was (she couldn't help but notice) hot, even though he was a year or two younger than her, and even though he was "seeing" Claire, she couldn't help but be tempted to take a look at him naked and perspire.

'Stop it, Jill,' she told herself, trying to control her hormones, but you couldn't stop nature in its path of destruction. 'Naughty, Jill—you still have Chris and Carlos to think about, don't go adding more men now…' she giggled now, still looking at Billy, then the most ridiculous thing occurred in her mind: somehow Billy's head managed to replace itself with that of Leon's smooth and clean and cute face, and then she couldn't help but giggle some more.

Billy cocked his head to his left, looking at her strangely. Wondering what she could be giggling at. "Is something the matter, Jill?" he asked her, feeling a bit awkward considering the circumstances that they were alone and she was after all giggling in such a seductive and sexy way.

"Huh?" Jill replied, with Leon's face wiped away from her mind and then coming back into reality. "Oh, nothing, never mind, Billy,"

Jill had almost completely forgotten about Carlos's leave away from her. She was sitting in her bathtub, sulking away in the warm water with bath beads. At such stressful times like these, she always loved to bathe in such a soothing manner to wash away life and bring in a new and refreshing one. She even went to the extent of lighting scented candles, and to add to the romantic scenery she lit incenses, which was a nice lavender, and all such an ideal romantic setting to calm her nerves.

The bathroom was steaming, the mirrors were fogged up, and lights turned down to a minimum, the only real source of light now were the scented candles. She opened her eyes, watching the teardrop flames dance on their wicks, flittering across the walls, casting strange shadows. It was eerie yet soothing at the same time.

"Nothing to worry about anymore," she wished, keeping her voice at a whisper. "Carlos is gone, Chris might leave, too, now you could shift back into gear—into your old single life…" she sank down into the tub, letting the warmth of the water cleanse her body, wrapping itself around her, soothing her, and with the additional bath beads it was all so much a sensuous feeling—even like an orgasm, almost, but a different kind of soothing feeling in her body. It was almost perfect—contradictory to what was said earlier, but what the hey—nothing would stir her emotions now.

Then suddenly she heard something open from above the surface. She broke the surface, wiping away the water from her face and rubbing it and soap out of her eyes and saw…

Author's Note: Okay, so it didn't really match up with the song "The Promise" by Tracy Chapman, but some of it did and will soon enough you just wait and see. Anyway, hope this chapter was sort of interesting for you.

Next Chapter: After He Left, Another Comes To Play