The Importance of the Night and Being Blind

Part Four

By Katsuya Kaiba

I arrived at school the next day earlier than usual, partly because I had gotten more sleep the night before than I'd had in days, and partly to reassure Seto that I would indeed be attending classes that day. He was already seated when I walked into the classroom, and before I went to my seat I stood in the doorway for a moment, quietly watching him as he sat there in silence. Most of the students were already in the room, some standing around and some sitting in their desks, but I looked past them and watched Seto, wondering if I should make my presence known to him. I decided to wait, and a second later he turned his head to the doorway and I met his eyes halfway there. His expression never wavered and remained empty and still, but he never turned away and I didn't either. We were like that for a few moments, and then something came over me and I smiled at him. It wasn't a grin or a smirk, just a small and simple smile that was silent and wasn't intrusive at all. He didn't return it, although I was glad for that in a way, because if he had I probably would have been even more afraid of him than I already was.

I broke the contact and walked to my desk, greeting my friends and digging around in my backpack, searching for the homework that may or may not have been done. I didn't have all that much room to care.

The day passed far faster than usual, but that might have been attributed to the fact that I was paying even less attention than normal, finding myself occupied instead with watching Seto out of the corner of my eye. His desk was one row ahead of mine and on the other side of the room, so while I didn't have to move an inch in order to see him, he had to turn his head quite a bit to be able to see in my direction. Which happened a lot more often that I remembered it happening a week ago. I never called him on it, nor did I look at him directly in return, but it was interesting to watch. He sure was fascinating to observe.

When class let out for lunch, I made no particular rush out the door and instead I told my friends that I would catch up with them in a minute, hoping to speak to Seto before there was an encore of yesterday's events. However, glancing around the emptying room told me that he was already gone. I stood by my desk for a moment, wondering what the best thing to do at that point was. If he was already in the cafeteria, then I couldn't just walk up to him when everyone else was around and expect them not to think something was up, especially if there was no loud and attention drawing fight that came quickly afterward. But if he had taken the hint yesterday, then I wouldn't have anything to worry about. I somehow doubted the idea of dealing with Seto on any level and not having anything to worry about, however, and I walked out of the classroom, still debating the issue but not wanting to waste any more of my lunch hour.

The cafeteria was just down the hallway, and I walked through the crowded mess, stepping lightly to avoid being crushed by the school kids that were all traveling in different directions in the same small area. As I walked by one of the classrooms towards the end of the hallway I felt a sudden and startling pull, and a strong grip around my uniform collar yanked me forcefully in through the open door, a door that had not been open previously. I cried out in a panic, but my voice was muffled by a hand that quickly fell over my lips, crushing my scream into a whisper. I heard the door close behind me and my arms were both in front of me, waving wildly in a vain attempt to free myself, but whoever it was that had grabbed me and pulled me in here still held tightly to my collar, and an arm came around my neck and held me still. My mouth was still covered, and I stopped struggling for just a moment, wondering if maybe…

"Hello, puppy dog. If you'll stop screaming, I might consider setting you free."

All of the muscles in my body relaxed at the sound of Seto's voice, although relief probably wasn't the most logical reaction in a situation like this one. I leaned back slightly into his front, and the hand that was covering my mouth fell away. The arm that encircled my neck, however, remained in place, and after a silent moment passed I felt his other arm slip around my waist and his hand sat lightly on my hip. I would have pulled away from him if I hadn't felt so damn comfortable like that. I couldn't see him since we were both facing into the room, which I could now see was an empty classroom. I wondered why he had brought me in here.

"…Seto, I –"

I stopped speaking suddenly and realized with horror what I had just done. I hadn't meant to call him by his true name, but that had been how I had begun to refer to him in my mind, somewhere along the way, and the slip up had been bound to happen eventually. I'd never called him anything but Kaiba to his face, and to deviate form that habit felt…well, it felt as though I was acknowledging something too soon. And furthermore, no one was allowed to call him Seto, no one save his brother. I had just done something terrible. I tensed up immediately and began to stutter an apology.

"Oh! I'm-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…Kaiba, I-" I tried to pull away from him so I could see just how angry he was, but his hold only tightened and I feared the worst. I was blind in this position, and I couldn't even guess as to what his next move might be, it was all behind my back. I stopped my attempts at escape when I felt his face close to mine and his breath fell on my neck, signaling his proximity. I stiffened slightly and waited quietly for whatever it was that he was going to do.

"Shut up. And don't call me Kaiba anymore." His voice was so close to my ear I could feel the vibrations from his throat in the air, and the skin on my neck broke out in a trail of goosebumps that skimmed the surface where his breath touched. So then…he wanted for me to call him Seto. There were thousands of possibilities for why he might want that, and each and every one of them raced around in my head so quickly that I felt like my mind would literally shut down right then and there. I knew that he wouldn't say the reason, so I thought it best to steer clear of the issue and continue with what I had meant to say to him…whatever that had been. I had totally forgotten it all in the warm and strangely seductive hold that Seto had over me, but I spoke anyway and prayed that it would sound somewhat coherent.

"I, uh, I'm supposed to be somewhere."

As soon as my words reached Seto, he released his hold on me and stepped back once. His motions were dripping with irritation and I turned around quickly. His hands were now on his waist and he stared at me blankly, watching and waiting for me to leave. I didn't, not just yet, because I still really wanted to know why I had been kidnapped like that in the first place. That definitely qualified as kidnapping.

"Well, I'm not saying immediately…just soon. Don't be like that." I was surprised with myself and the levels of liberty I was taking with Seto. No one I had heard of dared to speak to him the way that I usually did nowadays. But he was already slowly but surely ruining my social life, so the threats of old grew dim and faded away in this new and tentative relationship that was forming. "Just tell me what you wanted…I still want to know."

"I don't remember mentioning that I wanted anything." He never moved and held his aloof stance, although it seemed strange that he was able to wear his mask of indifference so perfectly after dragging me in here by force.

"You must…otherwise you wouldn't have kidnapped me like that. You know, I thought I as gonna have a heart attack." I smiled, hoping that I might be able to lift the eternal and shadowy discontent that surrounded Seto at all times. He bought it momentarily and let his arms fall back to his sides.

"You should pay more attention to your surroundings. I'm not to blame for your carelessness."

"Alright…fine. If you've got nothing to say to me, then I'll just be leaving."

I took a single step forward and watched Seto the entire time to see if he would move out of the way. He was still standing right in the doorway, and would have to step aside if I was going to go anywhere.

There were two motivations behind my actions. The first, and the more recognizable, was my intention to go to lunch and eat as soon as possible. The second motivation, and the one that I only half admitted to in the first place, was that I somewhat wanted to see if Seto would actually let me leave. I really didn't think that he would, but then again, he had done a whole mess of things recently that I also had not previously believed he would do. So, I was much more careful in my judgment of Seto and his inner workings, and I was testing him in a way, at that moment.

As I had suspected and secretly hoped, he never moved and continued to stand stiffly in the middle of the doorway. I took another step, and could take no more after that one because I was now within a foot of Seto himself and he still hadn't so much as flinched. Rather, he was grinning coolly, and he looked as thought he held a terribly fascinating secret inside of him, and I got a bit nervous as it also looked like he was willing to share it with me. I thought briefly about taking a step back, but decided against it, as I didn't want Seto to think that he was in control.

Well…I think that it was actually that I didn't want Seto to know that he was in control. And that was foolish of me, because he believed that about every situation, every second of every day.

"Going somewhere?" Seto crossed his arms over his chest and leaned a bit, getting comfortable.

I frowned at his over confident sneer, and stepped lightly to the right, hoping to edge around him and slip through quickly before he could turn to catch me. I was pretty positive that he would give it a shot.

The idea fizzled as I watched him step just as quickly and to the same side as I had, blocking my path once again. For good measure and another reason that seemed to be loosely based on amusement, I stepped over to the left this time, and I nearly smiled as Seto mocked my actions once more, seeming as a mirror image of my pathetic attempts at escape.

"I guess not," I offered. I gave up and relaxed, leaning back on my heels and wondering what I should do at that point. I wasn't angry or scared, quite the opposite, really. The game had been fun, and I was becoming seriously interested in what Seto had wanted with me, although there really weren't so many options, and I probably could have taken a well-aimed stab in the dark at what it might be that Seto wanted with me and an empty classroom.

Guessing wasn't any fun, thought, I thought to myself, and I smiled honestly at Seto before ripping into him.

"So then…do what you brought me here to do. I haven't got all day."

I'd only wanted to see what he might say.

Both of his hands came forward quicker than I had thought movement was possible, and I hadn't even enough time to blink before I felt his grip on my shoulders swing me around completely, and my back collided painfully against the door that Seto had previously stood in front of.

I began to really wish that I had been able to slip past him, moments ago. My eyes shut instinctively when I hit the door, and I found that I couldn't open them afterwards, too shocked at how fast it had all happened and just a bit too frightened to look and see what might be in Seto's eyes.

"Such a threat." His voice wasn't much more than a whisper.

The only thing in my mind was escape, to get out from under him somehow, and ask questions later. It never happened, of course, and although I wasn't completely sure of myself, either way, my body wasn't responding to my plan at all.

"Wait!" I forced my hands up blindly and found Seto's holding me by my shoulders, and I tried to pry them off, with no success. I still refused to open my eyes, and I held desperately to his hands and begged for mercy. "I didn't mean it."

A long period of silence settled around us, and after a while I got too curious and opened my eyes. Seto hadn't moved at all and neither had I, and he stood still over me and watched my face quietly with a look that betrayed absolutely nothing.

I thought in that moment that it really wasn't fair, how he was able to do that, because it left me with nothing to go off of. I was constantly guessing as to what it was that he might be thinking or feeling, but I knew that he could read me without even trying.

"I mean it." I watched his lips as he spoke, and remembered how they tasted. "And so do you. Keep your eyes open."

I stared at him, and my breath caught in my throat. Why did that feel so familiar?

The dream Seto and the real one were beginning to show similarities, and I panicked at the possibilities. I wasn't sure if I did want to do what I had done with Seto in my dreams, but suddenly it seemed as though it might be an option. I hadn't ever thought to consider the dream as a possible reality, but now a dark feeling descended, and my muscles began to grow tense with worry. Those had been dreams, and nothing more.

"Seto…I'm leaving now." I didn't want to see this, not here.

There wasn't any way to sort all of this out with him so close and watching me so intently, and I lifted one of my hands and found the doorknob that was just beside my hip. He knew what I was doing, and yet he never once moved to stop it, noticing that I'd had just about enough of the situation for the time being. He was far too intelligent for his own good, and I think that he sensed that I would be scared away indefinitely if he pressured too much farther.

I turned the knob slowly, waiting to see if he would act against my intentions.

When I had the door open, and still nothing had happened, I moved to the side and slipped out through the opening, shutting the door behind me. I was running on pure instinct at that point, and when I reached the table my friends sat at I realized that I had already walked through the rest of the hallway and made my way into the cafeteria without even noticing that I had taken a single step. It was all too much, and far too soon.

Wasn't it just days ago that he and I were the very worst of enemies? It was the truth.

It had only been just a few days, and even though I knew for a fact that things would never be the way they once were, I still didn't understand how that had come to pass.

I wished that I knew what it was that had happened to me, to the two of us, Seto and I. I wanted to know if he had been right that day, when he had reacted to what he had seen in my eyes. Something that I was unaware of. Was I sick? And more importantly, how much longer would that worry hold me back from whatever it was that I wanted from him. I only wished that I knew what I wanted myself.

Seto seemed to know everything there was to know about the situation, but that thought held no reassurance for me. I wanted to see myself for what I truly was and for the things that I had inside, and I wasn't able to do that yet.

Is it really so strange?

I found Seto just as I had expected to find him, outside of the school at the end of the day. He stood as he had the day before, leaning against his car and staring at nothing off to the side, attempting to look as though here wasn't waiting for anything important. It was just as well. He hadn't seen me, and turned around and walked back inside the school. I wasn't ready for this.

A few minutes later I was on the other side of the campus and leaving the school, walking around the outer edge of the property and taking care to avoid the streets that I usually took to the bus stop. I felt panicked, and my heart was racing as I stepped lightly and swiftly, rushing as quickly as I could.

I felt hunted, desperately trying to escape the attention of someone who was infinitely impossible to escape. What had been strange was now threatening, as I realized that even if I did make it home in one piece, Seto knew where that was, as well. He knew where the game shop was, and the mall, and every other place that I was known to have been or going to be. It felt like a trap, a race against time that I knew was impossible for me to win. He knew everything, everything that he needed to know that would ensure my entrapment, and quickly at that.

I started to sweat.

I needed to stop and think.

I stood still for a moment and took in my surroundings, finding myself in a quiet neighborhood that lay just beyond the school grounds. I had a vague idea of where I was, but it didn't really matter so much to me as did the fact that I was alone here. I sat down in defeat on the nearest lawn, for lack of a better seat.

Why was I panicking? I let my face fall into my hands as I tried to relax, and sat there for some time like that, regaining control over my nerves. I just…

I had no idea what to expect from Seto. I wasn't afraid of him, or at least, I had never been before. I had thought it strange that he was so…obsessed with my location at all times of the night and day, but the truth of the matter hadn't rung out clear until I found myself wanting to get away from him, if only for a few hours. I just hadn't wanted him to take me home today. And in all honesty, I wasn't sure that he intended to take me there. Just because he had done so before didn't mean a thing.

Maybe it was just…

Maybe I wasn't so afraid of Seto as I was of myself. That thought struck me harshly, and I looked up from the ground and stared at the level of my eyes, focusing on nothing. It wasn't so much that I was afraid that he might find me. There was no point to that, of course he would find me, and it would probably be pretty soon. But that wasn't what bothered me, and as I thought about it, the idea began to shed a little light on the inner turmoil that I had been blindly trying to discover.

Truth be told, I was afraid of what I would do when Seto found me, not the other way around as I had assumed without thinking. I knew what his presence did to me, and I couldn't stop him, no matter what he did. I hadn't the will to tell him no. That was what really lay behind the constraints of my mind.

I didn't want to say no.

I knew it, had known it, but now I was beginning to second guess my intentions, and why it was that I suddenly wanted to see him so much, right then. It came over me like a craving and a hunger, and I wondered if perhaps he might still be at the school, but I never really hoped for a second. Seto wasn't so big on waiting around for others. Still, I thought that he might not come after me right away, not after what I'd done at lunch that day. I did feel bad about that, but I hadn't any idea of what I was supposed to do.

What I wanted to do and what I truly wanted to do were becoming more and more alike, as was the Seto in my dreams and the real Seto himself. The Seto that was incessantly in my shadow, watching and waiting for the moment when I would discover whatever it was that he knew I would find inside of me.

He wouldn't be there. Even if I walked back right then to see him, I knew that he would be gone. I stood up anyway, and continued the way that I had been going, wondering if it was the right direction, or even if it was any direction at all. Wandering in circles didn't seem so far from the truth.

So...it's been awhile. I'm sorry for that, but even more sorry that there really isn't anything lemony in this chapter. I'll tell you what, though...there's plenty more to make up for that. I sincerely hope that you liked it, however, and implore you to see that there really is a plot, somewhere underneath all that citrus. An angsty one, too. Yay for angst.

How do you feel, reading this? Tell me.