Chapter 3 – The Strong and Dominant Yami…Well sort of…

Bakura lined his skateboard up for the death-defying feat that lay before him

(Jumping over an unconscious and probably alcohol-caused comatose Elvis)

He knelt down beside it and straightened it up. Then he stood up and blew a kiss to the empty room. He put one foot on it and was about to push off when the phone rang. His foot slid along the skateboard and he flew across the room and landed crotch first on the stair rail. He wheezed and rolled off then down the last two stairs. He looked around for Ryou who usually answered the phone but found that his Hikari was nowhere in sight. He pulled himself up slowly and hobbled over to the phone stand. His head throbbed.

Maybe two crates full of Jack Daniels at 10 o'clock in the morning wasn't a good thing…

He reached the phone stand by the front door, put his hands on his hips and looked pensively at it. It was black and was attached to the wall on a light wood box. Ryou had brought it over from England when they had decided to move into this house in the States. Bakura jumped as it rang again. It didn't help that he had never used one of these stupid things in his entire life. He picked up the handset and placed it to his ear the way he had seen Ryou do. He sucked on his lip and spoke as the alcohol regressed back through his system.

" Hewwo…"

Duke's voice came back through the phone.

" Hey Ryou is that you?"

" No it's Bakuwa. What do you want dice boy?"

" I was just calling to remind Ryou that I'm coming back for Elvis at 4 and you had better not have fed him anything stupid you demonic spore!"

Bakura gulped and didn't answer. Duke spoke.

" I'll take your stunned silence as confirmation of that. I'm coming straight over!"

Duke hung up and the dialling tone rang in Bakura's ear. He let the handset drop and just stood there looking at the unconscious load of fat that lay in the middle of his trashed living room. He laughed then reality flew into him like a speeding jumbo jet. He whimpered and fell to his knees. He called out pathetically.

" Ryou!"

There was no answer.

" Ryou!"

Still no answer. Bakura got up and, all feebleness gone, shouted up the stairs.

" RYOU! RYOU YOU SMELLY SON OF A BALARGIAN WART GNORF! GET DOWN HERE!"

But still there was no answer. He walked back into the living room and kicked Elvis in the ribs. The dog grunted and came out of his coma but snored and fell asleep. Bakura walked over to the coffee table and sat on the floor next to it. Something caught his beady little eye. It was a pile of uneaten Smarties. He brushed them aside and found the small notepad Ryou used underneath. He flipped to the front page and found a note written in Ryou's handwriting.

Dear Bakura,

I remembered what you said at breakfast. You wanted to be the " Strong and Dominant Yami" Well here's your chance you pathetic little snot! You're on your own now, lovely!

Love Ryou!

P.S. HA HA HA HA HA! Deal with that, PISSHEAD!

Bakura dropped the notepad and slammed his head on the coffee table. He looked up at sorted through the rubble until he found a small digital clock that Ryou had also brought over from England. It said 3:45. If Duke was to make it there for 4 then Bakura had to resurrect Elvis from the alcohol induced slumber and put the house back together; all in 15 minutes. Bakura glanced around sneakily then took the notepad over to the phone. He picked up the handset and put it to his ear he flicked through the notepad until he found the page Ryou used to write down phone numbers. He scanned down it until he found what he wanted.

MARIK 01346 65958 (BAKURA IF YOU ARE READING THIS THEN DON'T EVEN THINK OF CALLING IT! MARIK IS NOT COMING OVER!)

Bakura ignored his Hikari's warning and looked from the numbers on the pad to the numbers on the wind up dial on the old-fashioned phone. He scrunched up his eyes and seemed to swirl in some random numbers. When it began to ring he smiled proudly to himself and waited for an answer. Almost immediately, one came.

" Hallo. Ernie's Pizza Emporium here. What can I get you, sir or madam?"

Bakura replied.

" Don't want no god damn pizza! Put Marik on!"

The man on the opposite end of the phone spoke.

" There isn't anyone here called Marik. And I assure you that no pizza here has been damned by any god!"

" But I typed Ryou's number in here! Where's Marik?"

" I 'ready told ya! There's no one called Marik here!"

Bakura slammed the receiver down and looked again at the written phone number. He held it up to the light and then ripped the page out to look at it on its own. He could see something coming through from the other side. He scratched at the surface of the paper and found another piece of writing underneath it. This was again in Ryou's handwriting and read.

Think again buddy-boy! HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Bakura growled and threw the notepad at Elvis. The dog lumbered up, the alcohol obviously still present, and chewed on it a little bit then spat it back out again. Bakura went over to pick up the pad and saw some text materializing on the blank end of the paper. Bakura dropped to his knees and crawled over to the soggy paper. He picked it up and wiped the dog slobber off it and peered at it drearily as his hangover kicked in miraculously fast. It read:

Genuine Marik number (FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY!) 07732190652

Bakura chuckled, ran back over to the phone and put in the numbers. It rang and a familiar voice answers.

" Answer if you're ugly."

" Marik, its Bakura. Are you doing free to come over?"

Bakura heard a series of crashes and a startled cry that sounded like Ishizu saying " MARIK NO! OUR AUNT NEFATIRI IS IN THAT VASE!". Bakura chuckled as Marik spoke slyly down the phone.

" Sure. I'm not doing anything anymore. I'll come right over."

Bakura put the receiver back on its perch and went to make a start to reviving Elvis when there was a manic knock on the door. He went over and unlatched all of the locks until he got to the top one. No matter how much he tugged and no matter how hard the person on the other side of the door knocked; the lock would not budge. Then he looked shiftily around and pulled something out from under his shirt. He gripped the Millennium Ring tightly and visualized the lock coming open and the door swinging open. All of a sudden the door exploded off its hinges and fell forwards at the visitor's feet. Bakura looked through the dust and saw Marik clutching the Millennium Rod in the same way, looking startled but failing to cover the frenzied look that possessed him whenever he used his Millennium item. Ishizu usually kept it locked away (For good reason) and Bakura shuddered to think what the crazed being had done to get it back.