"Alright," began Qui-Gon, thinking out loud, "so we still have to find Dooku and…"
"Scratch that, we don't," announced Anakin suddenly. The others looked up and saw Count Dooku standing by the door to Obi-Wan's apartment, surrounded by Padmé, Boba, and Jar Jar, the latter supporting a tired but conscious Luke.
At the sound of his voice, Padmé looked up and smiled grimly. "Hello there," she said in a falsely cheerful voice. "Our friend here was just asking for you."
"What happened?" asked Taun We, as she, Ani, and the Jedi hurried up to their friends.
"We were coming back from the Healers, when we found Dooku here ringing the doorbell incessantly," explained Padmé.
"I guess he didn't know that nobody was home," added Boba, giving them his toothy grin.
"Mesa did that once," commented Jar Jar. Everyone ignored him.
"And, um, why exactly were you ringing my doorbell?" Obi-Wan asked Dooku in confusion.
"Because I feel that I owe you an explanation," announced Dooku grandly.
"You're damned right you do," muttered Obi-Wan, just as Qui-Gon said "And me too!"
"Don't whine," commanded Dooku, and then flushed. "Sorry. Old habits die hard."
"I've noticed," muttered Anakin. "People still insist on acting like one's master, even after one has completely grown up."
"One hasn't grown up yet, One," retorted Qui-Gon.
"So… about that explanation…" began Obi-Wan hurriedly, staving off another argument between his two friends.
"Ah, right," answered Dooku, apparently thinking the same thing. Taun We found it rather amusing that the Jedi and the Sith seemed to be thinking along such similar lines, without even realizing it.
"So, um… Right. Well, you know this is an alternate universe, sort of a different version of events."
"Yes," answered Obi-Wan, wishing he'd get to the point.
"And how do you know that?"
"Because Obi-Wan and I have been having strange visions about this other dimension," said Qui-Gon, thinking exactly the same thing as Obi-Wan. (Everyone seems to be doing that lately).
"Right. So… the visions. Well, actually, we could start with why we're here. Or with exactly how we're here. Or…"
"Just start at the beginning!" demanded Anakin impatiently.
"Right," answered Dooku, still looking nervous. "So, you all know the entire story of the other dimension?"
"Yes," snapped Taun We. "Get on with it!"
"Alright, alright, I'm getting there! So, after Darth Sidious was defeated…"
"Whoa, that's definitely not the beginning. That's, like, five minutes ago," exclaimed Anakin.
"I mean in that universe!"
"When did that happen?" asked Obi-Wan.
Dooku sighed. "Anakin's son Luke, yes, Luke, that is you, went running around with his friends and his sister trying to defeat Sidious and Vader for a long time when Sidious started to kill him. While he was doing that, Vader decided to switch sides again, and killed Sidious, saving Luke. He did that, but the ship he was on blew up and he died."
"And I just let him?" demanded Luke, who seemed to be understanding at least parts of the story.
"Well, either he blew up or you both did," retorted Dooku. "Not much contest there. Anyway, just before Sidious died, he activated something that he had been working on. Not even Vader knew about it. What he had activated was the beginnings of a new version of the universe."
"That's us," Qui-Gon told Luke, who didn't seem to be getting it.
"Yes, that is us. So he started this whole new universe, but it wasn't really a universe."
"Meaning…"
"Meaning we're living inside a simulation of what the world would be like if something had changed. He made millions of these each changing one tiny detail, trying to see which thing could have changed events in his favor."
"So… all that happened was creating a fake universe?" asked Obi-Wan incredulously.
"Not really. He exists in those fake universes he created, trying to see which way he could have won. Once he finds out which was the best for him, he'll go exist in that one forever."
"But that's not this one, right?" asked Ani, looking scared.
"No. We won, this time."
"So what'll happen to us?" asked Padmé. Everyone looked at her. "Well, he obviously can't have any use for a universe where he doesn't win," she said defensively.
"Yes, but there are so many that he probably doesn't have time to shut them down when they fail," pointed out Dooku. "Actually, I almost pity him. Far too much for one man to keep track of."
"That's why Luke and Ani are here," realized Taun We suddenly. Everyone looked at her. "He couldn't take care of the universes very well, so they intersected. Stuff like that happens all the time, but since there are so many, the chances that it'll happen to us are so slim that it doesn't happen often enough to be noticed as a pattern."
"How did you know that?" asked Qui-Gon, surprised.
"I just did," she retorted.
"You probably picked up on some of Sidious' thoughts," explained Dooku. "That happens every once and a while. He tries to contact himself, so he occasionally contacts someone else by mistake."
"Which is why we have those visions," exclaimed Obi-Wan as that thought dawned on him.
Dooku nodded. "It's normally the Force-sensitive who do that, but occasionally someone else does as well. When he finally catches on to his 'other self,' he usually can only tell him a short thing or two before they get cut off when everyone else's thought-patterns get in the way. So his instructions have to be very quick, or the 'other him' will misunderstand and mess it all up. Or he'll refuse to believe it's even him."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" exclaimed Obi-Wan. "Slow down. Sidious created a bunch of alternate universes before he died in the real one to give himself another chance, right?"
"Right," answered Dooku.
"And the universes are intersecting because there's too much to keep track of, which is why we have Ani and Luke here, right?"
"Right."
"And then we're picking up on his thoughts, which is why we have these visions, right?"
"Right."
"So he's trying to contact himself whenever we accidentally get these visions, right?"
"Right."
"And because we defeated him in this universe, he's not paying any attention to it anymore, but doesn't have time to shut it down, right?"
"Right. Knowing him, he'll probably have another area he can sort it to after it fails."
"Umm, wait. 'Area' indicates that he exists in physical being. So, uh, where exactly is he?"
"How am I supposed to know?" demanded Dooku, sounding annoyed. "Floating around in his manufactured space, I don't know!"
"How do you know all this?" asked Qui-Gon suddenly.
"Sidious told me. The one in this universe."
"So, the real Sidious made contact with our Sidious?" asked Anakin, confused.
"I would assume so, since he appears to know what's going on," snapped Dooku.
"Actually, he's dead."
"So he knew what was going on. And now I do. And now you do."
"We do?" asked Obi-Wan, still confused.
"Yes, you do. Look, it's a very complex concept, so just bear with me here, okay?"
"Fine."
"Once he finds the 'perfect' universe, he'll go exist in that one (as an immortal, of course, nothing less for his greatness) and we'll be free of him."
"Oh, yeah, what a tyrant," commented Obi-Wan sarcastically. "He's sorted us into the 'ignore' pile and let us take care of ourselves. Exactly what we wanted in the first place. Whoop-dee-do."
Qui-Gon elbowed him, and Dooku continued. "So, unfortunately, he's not planning to fix the messes the universes get into when they collide (which is his fault) and we don't have the means to do it, so Ani and Luke will have to stay in this universe. Unless he suddenly decides to reverse all the wrongs he's done in his life, and make banthas fly in the same moment."
"Which I doubt he'll do," commented Obi-Wan.
"As do I. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go explain all this to the Council." And Dooku swept off, followed by Jar Jar and Taun We, who wanted to make sure he did what he said he would.
Qui-Gon stared after them. "Well, at least he's not making us do it," he remarked.
"That would be difficult," answered Obi-Wan. "I still don't understand it!"
Wow. Just one chapter left… Maybe someday I'll make a sequel. Or maybe I won't, but still! If I do, by the way, it won't be anytime soon. Although I might start a totally different fic…
Thank you, reviewers, especially Child-of-the-Dawn and Fell Dragon, who reviewed the last chapter between the time I posted it and the time I posted this.
So, please tell me. Did you understand this chapter at all? Did I over-explain it? Was I just going around in circles? I need feedback, people! And with feedback comes reviews! And reviews are always good!