WINTER. I CRY.
Heavy snowfall came down on Tokyo that night. The layer of snow on the ground was already ankle-deep, snowflakes were blurring his vision as Daisuke was climbing an uphill path leading into Yanaka cemetary. He was breathing hoarsely and wincing from the burning sensations in his chest, but refusing to give up, Daisuke kept walking. He was dressed very lightly for such a cold December night - a pair of sneakers, pants and a sweater, all white, a color of mourning.
On and on he walked, past neatly trimmed bushes now resting under the snow, round stones, sublime old graves, and then suddenly fell on his knees and doubled over in a fit of cough, pressing his hands to his chest.
----------------
You said goodbye, I fell apart
I fell from what we had
I never knew I needed you so bad
You have to let things go
I know you told me so
I've been through hell to break this spell
-------------------
Daisuke
had no clear memories of what happend after he learned about Hikari's
passing. He was told that after Yagami-san broke the news for him he
turned around and calmly walked away. He never returned to school and
came home at 10 pm after spending all day dwelling under the cold
rain. He stayed home the next day, lying face-down on the bed and
refusing to eat or come out of him room; Daisuke's parents, having
already learned about the death of their son's girlfriend, chose not
to disturb him. And at night, the boy was hospitalized with high
temperature, asphyxia and burning pains in the chest. The scan
revealed а two-sided
pneumonia. He was injected with antibiotics and an oxygen mask had to
be duct-taped to his face since Daisuke, limp and apathetic, would
not hold it himself. His parents, who, along with teary-eyed Jun were
nervously awaiting in the hospital corridor were told Daisuke would
stay in the hospital for at least two weeks. Meanwhile in his ward
Daisuke was lying still and smiling under the mask, thinking
he was going to join Hikari soon.
------------------
Why did I ever let you slip away
Can't live another day without you
Without the feeling I once knew
------------------
It took three weeks, but eventually Daisuke was signed out with an orders from the doctor to keep to bed for at least another half a month. Two days after returning home he sneaked out of the house and here he was now, kneeling in snow in the middle of Yanaka cemetery.
Slowly, he got up, hugged himself by the shoulders in an attempt to keep warm, and once again started walking.
And finally, there it was - a plain, small tomb between two pine trees. It did simply read
"Yagami Hikari, 1992 - 2007. Our Light." Under the inscription there was a small symbol of sun, copied from the girl's crest.
"I'm sorry Kari," said Daisuke, standing over the grave. "I was late. I did my best but I was late."
Tears began to slip down his cheeks as he spoke but the boy was not even aware of that.
------------------
I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hoplessly
'Cause I know I'll never
breathe your love again
I cry cause you're not here with me
'Cause I'm lonely as can be
I cry hopelessly
'Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again
---------------------
Memories were running through his brain - the first time he saw Hikari at school; their adventures in the Digital world; his constant fights with Takeru over her; that bittersweet sakura petlas-filed day in spring when they confessed their love to each other; their last day together, quiet conversations interrupted by Taichi's enthusiastic cheers.
Kneeling again, Daisuke silently prayed for Hikari's good carma in the next life; as he finished with a traditional "namu Amida butsu" mantra, hot tears continued to fall down, burning holes in the snow.
----------------------
If you could see me now
You would know just how
How hard I try not to wonder why
I wish I could believe in something new
Please somebody tell me it's not true
Girl, I'll never be over you
----------------------
Something soft and warm wrapped around his shoulders, appearing to be a leather jacket. Daisuke looked up. Standing behind him was Taichi.
"You're coocoo or something?" the older boy said softly and wearily. "It's two past midnight, your folks are out of their minds worrying and you're playing ittan momen here. Come on, get up and let's go. I'll drive you home."
He didn't move.
"How did you know I'm here?"
"Take a wild guess. Your folks woke up, saw you were gone, put two and two together and called me. You could've just asked for a ride, preferably at the day time. It's not a big deal, you know. Come on, get up."
Daisuke was hesitating and Taichi pulled him by the shoulders.
"Dai, don't be an idiot. You're still recovering from pneumonia. What are you playing at, you wonna die?"
"Yes."
------------------
Why did I ever let you slip away
Can't live another day without you
Without the feeling I once knew
I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hoplessly
'Cause I know I'll never
breathe your love again
I cry cause you're not here with me
'Cause I'm lonely as can be
I cry hopelessly
'Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again
------------------
Taichi looked at him sideways.
"Dai, don't give me this shit."
"I deserve to die," said Daisuke looking down. "I failed her. I've promised I'd be with her... I've promised I'd save her from nightmares and I didn't get there in time."
"You did."
Taichi crouched next to him and put his hand over the boy's shoulder.
"Didn't I tell you? Minutes before she passed away her nightmare stopped. And I'm not sure but I think I heard her whisper your name. She died smiling. She somehow knew you were coming to save her So you didn't let Kari down."
Daisuke didn't move. Then slowly he looked up. He was still crying, but the anguish in his eyes was gone. And for a second, a small smile crossed his face. Standing up, Taichi extended his hand to the boy.
"There you go. Come on Dai, I don't have all night for this. And I've left the engine running. Let's go, I'll drive you home."
Hesitating no longer, Daisuke took his hand and two youths started their walk out of the cemetary.
The End.