Author's Note: Well I know the dub names for the guys are Valon and Alister, but in this story I prefer to use the Japanese version of their names even though I use the dub names for other characters(I'm just a weirdo) hehe but thanks to everyone for the reviews and the feedback though!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, Home Shopping Network, or any of the characters so don't sue me! :D
Raphael's Secret
"Hmm I think I could use a rocket powered lawn mower"thought Raphael as he lay on his bed and watched the Home Shopping Network "Then again where would I use it?". There were always all sorts of good yet sometimes crazy things on the Home Shopping Network and Raphael always enjoyed watching, but most of all he enjoying buying .
"I'd better not order one since I just ordered a jet powered robotic vacuum cleaner last week"thought Raphael "I'd better try to cut back on some of the junk". "If you order within the next minutes we'll also throw in a singing trout!"said the woman on the television as she held up the silly looking fish "Order now!". "A singing trout!?"shouted Raphael as he jumped up and ran to look for his credit "Dammit where did I leave my wallet!!!?".
Raphael had a secret that no one suspected at all: He was severely addicted to home shopping and he couldn't stop no matter how hard he tried.
"Why do I have to come with you to get Raphael!?"whined Varon as Amelda pulled him by the arm like an unruly child "He's just going to freak out and lock his door!". "Hey it'll take both of us to get him out of his room"said Amelda "So stop whining!". Amelda began to knock on Raphael's door but there was no response at all. "Raphael!"shouted Amelda "Open up! Master Dartz has a mission for us and he's waiting for us right now!". There was still no response so Varon pressed his ear against the door and said "I think he's got the tv on or something". "RAPHAEL!!!"shouted Amelda as he pounded on the door "THIS IS NO TIME TO PLAY AROUND OPEN UP!!!". Suddenly the door opened up and they were greeted by an odd little machine that looked like a dinner plate on wheels with small jet boosters on its sides.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
It was the first time either one had been in Raphael's room and it was sort of disturbing since his room was filled with all kinds of junk. There were fishing poles, vacuum cleaners, collector plates, books, juicers, and all sorts of other odd things. "What the Hell is that thing?"said Varon as the strange thing just stood there and beeped at them "Is it a robot?".
"Idon't know and I don't care" said Amelda as he stepped overit "Why does Raphael have all this junk in the first place?"Amelda ventured further into the room and he was unaware that the strange little machine was following his every move and beeping faster and faster. Varon didn't even dare enter the room since he had a bad feeling about that weird little machine. "Raphael!"shouted Amelda "Where are you!!!?". The machine began to beep louder than ever and suddenly the jet boosters fired and the machine became airborn and headed straight for Amelda's head.
CRASH
Amelda found himself laying flat on his back seeing stars after he was attacked by the strange thing. "I want to report a UFO sighting"said Amelda who was still dazed from the blow "It attacked me...and I think it probed me!". Varon just burst out laughing when he realized what had happened. "I'm glad that wasn't me" said Varon "That thing looks heavy!". Amelda suddenly sat up, rubbed his head, but now he was very VERY pissed off. "RAPHAEL WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!!!?"screamed Amelda at the top of his lungs "I JUST GOT ATTACKED BY A CRAZY LITTLE ROBOT BECAUSE OF YOU! NOW GET OUT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!".
At that moment Raphael came out of his bathroom with his wallet in hand and he noticed that Amelda had a huge bruise on his forehead. "What happened to you?"asked Raphael as he calmly took his credit card out of his wallet "Did you run into something?". "I JUST GOT ATTACKED BY THAT!"screamed Amelda as he pointed to the small machine that was now roaming another part of the room "WHAT THE HELL IS IT!!!?".
"Oh that's just my new jet powered robotic vacuum cleaner"said Raphael as he picked up his cellphone "It's on dirt patrol right now which means that you probably had alot of dirt on your boots or something". Amelda was still hyperventilating and twitching from the rage so it took him a moment to calm down. "Master Dartz wants to see us right away"said Amelda in a calm tone of voice "He's waiting for us right now in the conference room". "All of us?"said Raphael "So does that mean Varon too?'. "Well of course it does!"said Varon as he suddenly entered the room "You know damn well that all of us means the three of us!!".
Raphael's eyes filled with terror, he began to scream, and he attempted to run but Amelda thought quickly. "Not so fast!"shouted Amelda as he suddenly grabbed the robotic vacuum cleaner and ran over to the window "Either you go to the conference room with us or I'll toss this thing outside!". Amelda had figured out Raphael's weakness and now he was making the most of it.
"No! Anything but that!"screamed Raphael "I still have to make three easy payments of $49.99 before it's all mine!". Raphael didn't want his beloved robotic vacuum cleaner to be smashed to bits, so he realized he had no choice but to go with them.
"What's keeping those three fools!?"said Dartz as he sat at the conference table "It's been well over ten minutes and they still haven't come back! How hard is to get Raphael out of his room!?". Dartz was beyond anxious to send them all out on their mission and he had chosen a specific location for them to go since he didn't want to miss a moment of the action.
"Little do those fools suspect that they'll be right next door to where the nail salon is"chuckled Dartz "I should be able to get some good footage". Dartz continued laughing and before long he heard sounds coming from outside so he knew that they had arrived.
"Raphael stop trying to look down my shirt!"screamed Varon "Don't make me poke you in the eye!". "I'm not looking down your shirt!"screamed Raphael "It's not my fault you're shorter now as a woman and I have to look down at you!"."Will you both shut up!?"screamed Amelda "I'm sure Master Dartz is angry that we've kept him waiting for so long!". Dartz just looked at his watch and then he looked up at the door, but they just continued arguing like crazy.
"I haven't got time for this!"muttered Dartz as he picked up his camcorder and "If I don't get to the nail salon on time I'll get that crazy woman with the moustache and the unibrow!". The trio continued arguing like crazy so Dartz got pretty damn angry so he closed his eyes, snapped his fingers, and chuckled as he did something sick, twisted, and guaranteed to give Raphael(and possibly Amelda) nightmares for the next few weeks.
"Huh!?"said Varon as he realized his hands were moving yet he wasn't controlling them "W-What's going on!!!?". "What are you talking about?"said Raphael "I don't see anything going on". "My hands are moving!"shouted Varon "But I'm not controlling them!". "Stop saying stupid things!"shouted Amelda "Now lets get in there before we end up having to sing and dance again!". Varon didn't understand what was happening and he tried to fight it, but it was no use. He unwillingly ended up grabbing the bottom of his shirt, he pulled it up, and flashed Raphael and Amelda.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!