Part Three

II

Maybe it doesn't have to be just him, he thinks.

Maybe he doesn't have to be alone. Maybe it doesn't have to be just him and the memories, slowly grinding him to death.

Maybe he can look for someone else. Maybe he can find. Maybe he can live.

Maybe there is hope.

Maybe that can be enough.

II

Breidablik, clad in green and sunlight, was stretching out beneath her, beautiful and doomed. It was almost more painful to see it like this than see it as the burned shell it had been, would be, was about to be. The TARDIS has taken them back before the burn to the planet that was and it was... Alive.

She could understand all too well the desire to stop what was to come.

The Doctor's hand was comforting in hers, but she wasn't quite sure who was comforting who.

"It's the light," he said distantly, watching a million houses reflect the sun at them. "They think they've mastered the sun, but they're shifting the balance of it. It's a solar flare. It's a solar flare that burns them. It had nothing to do with the Time War."

The relief in his voice was only mirrored by the pain.

"I cannot change this," he went on. "I could tell them all to stop, and they wouldn't listen. They're proud. They'll believe they know everything. They're... I know them, Rose. I can't save them. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

"Not this one," he whispered and she leaned against him, feeling his pain as her own.

II

There is her, he finds.

She's bright and young and beautiful and he can take her hand and take her into his world, into the ashes of what is. Maybe she'll even breathe life on it. Maybe she is life.

There is her hand and all he has to do is take it.

II

Baldr was waiting for them when they came out of the TARDIS where they'd gone into it in his time. He looked drained and paled, the green in his eyes faded. Whatever he was holding in his arms, she was fairly certain it wasn't good news.

It reminded her all too much of another last survivor, another raised gun, another threat to kill. But the Doctor hadn't pulled the trigger in the end. She was certainly hoping for a repeat performance.

"Knock that off," the Doctor said irritably, folding his arms. "Your people weren't killers."

"My people are dead."

"No excuse for being an idiot. And don't say anything, Rose," the Doctor replied, without even looking at her to see her opening her mouth.

Baldr seemed to shrink slightly, but the gun stayed raised. "Time Lord, I ask you again. Save my world."

"I can't. It's your sun that flares. Your planet's too close to it to not burn. You drew it closer to master even more sunlight. You build your world and doomed it too with light. There's only me left and I can't bend a sun. I can't help you."

"You could warn us. You could..."

"Kill you all before you kill yourself? You all use it. It's not enough that one stops."

"Explain to us, show us..."

"Would you believe me? Now, yes, but then?"

The silence stretched on, uncomfortable and loaded. Waiting. She could see Baldr struggle, his eyes almost grey now. Green to ashes, like his world. She knew the answer was no, as the Doctor did.

"I can't..." Baldr finally muttered, staring wildly at them. "I have to try. What else do I have?"

"Your life?" she offered. "You're still alive. What's the point in dying just because everyone else have?"

"You're human," Baldr said, as if not even listening to her. "Humans are compatible. We can bring my species back. We can bring it all back. And we'll make a shield this time, and we'll be as we were. We'll live. I can undo it."

"You're not having Rose," the Doctor cut in, stepping in front of her, as if to shield her.

"I can speak for myself, you know," she shot back, then paused. "What he said. You're not having me."

Baldr still wasn't listening, staring wildly ahead. At light, she realised.

Oh, no.

The sky was changing and so was she.

II

There is a choice, he's come to realise.

Before or after.

Before, remembering, always remembering, trying to find a way to make it come again. What is, shouldn't be. Undo the present, make way for the past.

After, remembering, always remembering, trying to find a way to make it hurt a little less every day. What is, is. Live in the present, make way past the past.

There's a choice and he's afraid.

II

The sky was bright, and Baldr's hand was warm. She stood still on the mountain and felt Breidablik beneath her, clad in green and sunlight, a million houses of glass shining at her. A million voices in the wind, laughing. And ever the sunlight, like water in her hand and trickling against her skin. She wanted to laugh at it, laugh with the delight.

Her world. Rose's world.

"Beautiful world we made," Baldr whispered against her ear.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is."

A million people alive because of her. Not just Rose, the shop assistant now. Rose, the bringer of life. Rose, the mother of a people. Rose, the savior. It had been meant to be. She had come to the planet for this. This was her life.

"I love you," he said, but the voice was wrong. The hand was wrong. Even the Rose was wrong. No. No, it was right. She was... She was...

"Rose!"

He was standing ten feet away and she could feel that she knew him, feel that her hand was used to holding his. She had kissed him, held him, watched pleasure burn on his face brighter than the sun.

"He's darkness," Baldr muttered, and she knew it was true. "I'm light. Stay with me."

"I..." she stared ahead, feeling memories fight their way past the delight. Darkness, oh yes. But also his hand and his skin and a thousand planets like this to see. Her Doctor. Rose's Doctor.

"Rose!"

"You let go of me, I die," Baldr insisted, clutching her hand so hard it hurt. "I need you, Rose of the humans. I'll never hurt you. He will."

"Yeah, he will. Doesn't matter. I'm sorry," she whispered, and let go. A million voices of laughter died and there was only Baldr's howl, pain and grief and ashes. She couldn't save him. He wasn't hers to save. But someone else might be and he was calling her name.

There might be hurt, but there was life, too.

She didn't look back as she ran and ran, ran until she felt strong arms close around her and the Doctor's voice against her ear.

"Come with me, Rose."

"Yes."

II

Always the coward, he thinks. Afraid even now. Afraid there is nothing left in the ashes and he's already a ghost. Afraid that the before is all he has and if he lets go...

There must be something in the after, he thinks. There must be something in the ashes of survival. There must be still a hand to take and miles to run.

There is a choice and he's making it.

Maybe it'll be enough.

II

She felt him approach before she heard him, his steps hesitant across the ashes. Silently, he sat down next to her, and after a heartbeat, she leaned against his shoulder.

"You didn't kill, you know," he said softly. "He was already dying. It wouldn't have been like he showed you."

It could be lies to protect her, she knew, but she had to believe them. The other option she wasn't strong enough for yet.

"He made his choice," the Doctor said firmly. "It wasn't your choice. It was always his."

"Did you make yours?"

He only smiled faintly and laced his fingers with her, holding her hand while the ashes were caught by the wind, rising, rising, rising almost like birds alive. And she remembered that her mother had once told her ashes and earth could make new life.

Maybe even on this planet.

Maybe even in him. Maybe even with the memories he carried.

His choice, maybe, but he wasn't the only one who could make one.

"Just me and you, then," she said, looking up at him and feeling his gaze hold her.

"Yep. Just the last Time Lord and his human girlfriend."

"Oh, shut up."

"I know a place you can get that tattooed."

"No."

"It could be somewhere only I could see it."

"You didn't even look at those places until recently!"

"I claim the idiot defence."

"Just shut it and kiss me."

"Yes."

And in the distance, the ashes fell to the earth and lay still.

Maybe it was enough, after all.

FIN