Author's Notes: Thanks alot for the reviews guys! I'm glad you guys thought the little boys were funny. Anyways this chapter is about yet another one of Dartz's (individual) punishments so enjoy! Oh and I'm using the dub name for one of Raphael's Guardian cards since I'm not really sure what the actual name is.
Disclaimer: I do now own Yugioh, any of the characters, or any of the stores/restaurants/songs mentioned, so don't sue me:D
Dance With Me
"Seto I'm hungry!" cried Mokuba as he tugged at his older brother's trenchcoat and looked up at him with puppy dog eyes "Can I have some money for a corndog? Pretty please?".
Seto was looking pissed off as usual and especially now that Mokuba dragged him down to the mall. "Why do you have to ask me for money?" said Seto as he glanced down at his little brother "I just gave you your allowance this week!". "Pffft! You only gave me $5!" said Mokuba as he continued clinging to Seto's gravity defying white trenchcoat "What the Hell am I supposed to do with $5? Stuff costs alot more now than when you were a kid!". "Are you calling me old?" said Seto as he raised an eyebrow and glanced down at Mokuba "I was going to give you money..but you know what? Now I'll have to think about it". Seto then turned around and began to walk off in the direction of his favorite store called 'Trenchcoat Inferno'.
"B-B-But...you're my big brother!" cried Mokuba as he ran after Seto "If you don't give me any money then how am I supposed to get any?". Seto kept walking and pretended not to hear what Mokuba was saying. "Now how am I suppoed to get a corndog?" whined Mokuba as he reached into his pockets and found nothing more than a dollar "I need a miracle!". Suddenly someone tapped Mokuba on the shoulder and when he turned around he found himself staring at a hideous red velvet suit. "Aww so Kaiba boy won't buy you any corndogs will he?" chuckled Pegasus as he looked down at Mokuba "Ooh well I can buy you all the corndogs you want..but you have to do me a favor".
"SETO!" screamed Mokuba at the top of his lungs as he ran as quickly as he could after his brother "DON'T LEAVE ME HERE BY MYSELF!". "Oh pooh!" said Pegasus as he pouted and pulled his new cd out of a plastic bag he was carrying "I was hoping he could help me get the plastic wrap off of it". He then just shrugged his shoulders and walked off in hopes of finding someone who could help him open his cd.
"Now what floor was "Aahs" located on?" thought Raphael as he wandered in some random direction with all of his shopping bags hanging off of his arms "I know it was on an upper level, but which one?"
After getting tired of hearing Varon make strange hooting sounds and muttering some nonsense about a 'flap dance', Raphael decided to just ditch him altogether. Raphael went up and down countless escalators in hopes of finding the store. He wandered around for what felt like hours, but still no sign of "Aahs" It never once occured to him to just stop and look at one of the maps of the mall, but that wasn't his style. "It has to be somewhere around here" said Raphael as he frowned "All I remember is that I saw it right when I got off of an escalator"
Raphael continued walking and he was completely unaware that someone had seen him and was now following him. "And I thought women were the only ones with shopping addictions" said Dartz as he walked behind Raphael and filmed him "Maybe I should send him to 'Shopper's Anonymous'". Raphael suddenly came to an abrupt stop when he noticed something in the window of a store called "Mary Jane's". The object in question was a Guardian Eatos figurine that just seemed to scream "Buy me!"."I have to have it!." said Raphael as he pressed his face against the store window "I've never seen anything like it!". Raphael quickly ran into the store as quickly as he could, but was he in was in for quite a surprise.
The entire store was filled with lava lamps, black lights, disco balls, beaded curtains, incense, and the song "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" was playing. There was also a noticeably strange aroma and a bit of smoke in the air, but Raphael just assumed it was the incense and nothing else. "Dude...you're tall" suddenly slurred a really weird guy who looked like Varon...if Varon didn't shower, shave, or brush his hair for a month. Raphael noticed that the smell got even stronger as he approached the guy...almost as if it was coming from him. "So what can I get you?" slurred the guy with a dopey grin on his face "A lava lamp? Some love beads? A sandwich?". "I want that Guardian Eatos figurine in the window" said Raphael as he tried his best to ignore the smell "So how much is it?
"Dude...I can't sell you that...it's bad karma man..." slurred the guy as he slumped over onto the register "But I'll let you have it if you give me those...". He pointed to the box of Cinnabons peeking out of one of the many bags Raphael was carrying. "You want these in exchange for that?" said Raphael with a puzzled look on his face "Why?". "Cause I got the munchies man..."slurred the guy as ran a hand through his dirty looking hair "So...do we have a deal?"
"Hmm I was almost certain Raphael would be in here" said Dartz with a disgusted look on his face as he exited "Aahs" "I've never seen so much worthless garbage in one place!"
After getting back from Hooters, Dartz was pretty bored and decided to look for Raphael. So far Dartz had plenty of humiliating footage of Varon and Amelda, but not much footage of Raphael. Raphael was always a very serious person who didn't really do or say much. His only interests seemed to be watching the home shopping network, buying stuff off the home shopping network, riding his motorcycle, and looking after his guardian cards. The only time he did anything remotely interesting was when Dartz decided to set fire to him during breakfast.
"If he were any more dull then he'd be dead" said Dartz as he headed down an escalator "I don't think he even knows the meaning of the word 'fun'". When Dartz got to the bottom of the escalator he quickly realized that perhaps he had to rethink what he thought he knew about Raphael. Raphael stumbled out of "Mary Jane's" with the Guardian Eatos figurine in hand, but he was so out of it that he could hardly walk.
"Who's that pretty girl?."slurred Raphael as he suddenly planted a kiss on the Guardian Eatos figurine"Oooh you're that pretty girl...aren't you?". Raphael had never realized what the "incense"actually was, and now he was high as a kite thank to inhaling the smoke. Dartz didn't even know what to do say, but once he got a whiff of him it became all too clear. "Ahh that smell takes me back to the 1960s" said Dartz with a hint of nostalgia in his voice and a gleam in his eye "Then again that whole decade was one big blur...". Dartz then quickly snapped out it, pulled out his camcorder, and began to follow Raphael since he knew it would be a very "cosmic" experience.
"Where am I?" thought Raphael as he looked all around and realized he was in some sort of tunnel filled with all sorts of swirly colors "Am I dreaming?"
"Raphael! Oh Raphael!" suddenly called out a woman's voice from out of nowhere "Raphael! Look over here!". Raphael quickly spun around and as soon as he realized that there was a light at the end of the tunnel so he quickly headed towards it. When he exited the tunnel he realized he was in some sort of strange far off land with lots of swirly rainbow colored clouds, purple grass, an orange sky, and a huge meadow filled with flowers: flowers with little happy faces. "Hi there!" chirped a little flower with Tea's face as it looked up at Raphael "You're new here aren't you?". "Of course he is" said another flower with Yugi's face "Aren't you?".
"Ookay..." thought Raphael as he rubbed his eyes and was almost certain that he was losing his mind "What's going on?". The little Tea flower continued chirping and chatting excitedly, which was EXTREMELY annoying. "Hey what have I told you before you stupid flowers?" suddenly shouted a cranky and all too familiar voice from above "Don't talk to strangers! Do I have to come down there and shut you up myself?". At that moment Raphael quickly looked up and realized that both the sun and moon were out, but they were disturbingly familiar. The sun had Varon's face and it was happy looking and grinning like a complete idiot. The moon had Amelda's face and it was cranky and scowling at the the flowers. "Ah put a sock in it!" suddenly said the sun "No one cares about what you have to say!". The moon just growled and quickly turned it's face away. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE?" suddenly shouted Raphael who was now seriously freaked out by the talking flowers/sun/moon "SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!".
"Raphael! Oh Raphael!" suddenly called out the same female voice he had heard before "Raphael I can help you!". Raphael quickly began to look around to see if he could figure out where the voice was coming from, but then he saw it. At that moment a yellow submarine emerged from the swirly clouds and landed gently on the grass in front of Raphael. "Raphael I'm so happy to see you!" said the woman as she opened up the door on the yellow submarine and got out "Are you happy to see me too?". The woman was a blonde with a strange looking headdress that almost resembled a giant white eagle's head and she had a brown dress with some fringes on it. "Guardian Eatos?" said Raphael as his eyes opened wide in shock and disbelief "Is that you?". She gave a quick nod and said "Yeah that's me and I've been waiting for you so you can dance with me!". "What?" exclaimed Raphael who just couldn't comprehend the entire situation "Dance with you?"
"Come on dance with me!" said Guardian Eatos as she suddenly ran up to him and grabbed his arm "I hope you like the song!". She then snapped her fingers and the grouchy moon was suddenly transformed into a huge disco ball. "Yay!" cried out the little Tea flower as if flapped it leaves excitedly"That big nasty grouch is gone!" "About time someone did that" mused the sun as he looked over at the disco ball "Now lets get this party started!". At that moment the song "What You Waitin For?" began to play and Guardian Eatos wrapped Raphael's arms around herself and they began to dance. Guardian Eatos smiled at Raphael and they began to spin round and round like crazy all over the purple grass.
"This footage is getting better and better" said Dartz as he continued filming Raphael "Raphael is making a complete fool of himself and I didn't even have to lift a finger!"
Raphael had stumbled half way across the mall and right into the music store. He stumbled around for a bit inside of the music store and knocked over a few racks of cds, but when he got to the listening stations it all changed. All of the listening stations were currently empty, but the music blaring from the headphones was extremely loud. When Raphael heard the music for some reason he began to spin round and round with his Guardian Eatos figurine...almost as if though he were dancing with it. Dartz just continued filming since he didn't want to miss a second of what else Raphael might do while stoned.
"Isn't this fun?" said Guardian Eatos as she and Raphael continued spinning/dancing together "I knew you'd dance with me!".
At that moment the sun and the flowers were swaying from side to side and the song seemed to be coming to an end, which was a good thing since Raphael didn't really like it. "I have to figure out what's going on" thought Raphael to himself "I mean why am I even here?". Suddenly the song came to an abrupt stop and the giant disco ball transformed back into the grouchy moon. "It feels like I'm spinning round and round still!" complained the giant moon "Why did you do that to me?". Nobody really cared what it had to say, so they completely ignored it.
"I can't believe Raph just ditched me!" said Varon as he rubbed his arm and walked around "This day is the worst day of my whole life!"
"Excuuuuuse me!" suddenly cried out someone in a sing-song voice as they ran up behind Varon "But I was wondering if you could help me with something?". The person was none other that Pegasus who still hadn't been able to get the plastic wrap off of his cd. "Eww Pegasus!" thought Varon as he grimaced at the mere sight of the"eccentric" white haired millionaire "What the heck does he want?". "Could you please help me get the plastic wrap off of this?" said Pegasus as he held out the cd "I can't do it myself and I'm going to ruin my manicure!". "Is that it? I could do that in my sleep!" said Varon as he quickly tore the plastic wrap off of the cd and tossed it back to Pegasus "See? Piece of cake!". "Oooh at last!" cried Pegasus as tears of joy began to stream down his cheeks "Now my life is complete...oh you have no idea how happy you made me!".
"Yeah yeah..." said Varon who was still pretty annoyed that he had been ditched yet again "Go tell it to someone who cares". "Ooh you seemupset for some reason" said Pegasus when he saw Varon's sour expression"But not to worry! Uncle Max will reward your kindness!". At that moment Pegasus reached into his pocket, pulled out a huge wad of cash, and gave it to Varon. "HOLY CRAP!" shouted Varon when he saw the huge wad of cash "YOU'RE KIDDING ME RIGHT?". "Oooh you're right" said Pegasus as he reached into his other pocket and suddenly pulled out another wad of cash and handed it to Varon "This should be enough". He then happily skipped off and left Varon standing there with his mouth wide open and with a wad of money in each hand. "I-I-I..." stammered Varon for a few moments while it all sunk in "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"
"You know what I want right now?" said Guardian Eatos as she looked up at Raphael who looked even more confused than ever "I want you to kiss me you big sexy hunk!"
"About time he stopped spinning like an idiot! He's been doing that for the past half hour!" said Dartz in a very annoyed tone of voice as he continued watching Raphael "I just hope he does something interesting now". Suddenly Raphael lifted the Guardian Eatos figurine and began to kiss it as passionately as he could. "And now this is the icing on the cake" said Dartz as he blinked in disbelief as he observed Raphael passionately kissing the figurine "Or the olive in the martini? Hmm I could actually use one right about now".
"Why do all the weirdos hang out near the listening station?" screamed the pink haired girl who worked there "I just managed to get rid of those other weirdos and now this!". The pink haired girl was absolutely disgusted by what she was seeing, but Raphael was much too big for her to throw out by herself. "It's a mystery of life isn't it?" said Dartz as he stopped filming Raphael "Well I'm going to go get a martini...wanna come along?". "Huh?" said the pink haired girl when she realized that some blue haired weirdo was talking to her "Why are you asking me?". "You look like you could use a drink" said Dartz with a sly look on his face as he put away his camcorder "And it's happy hour at my favorite bar, so you coming?". "NO! There's no way in Hell I'm going anywhere with you!" said the girl as she looked at him as if though he were crazy "Besides I'm working right now!". "My treat" said Dartz who just wouldn't take "no" for an answer "So what do you say?". Suddenly the pink haired girl ran to grab her purse, grabbed onto Dartz's arm and said "Lets blow this dump!". They both quickly walked out of the store leaving Raphael and his figurine all alone.
"Mmmm Guardian Eatos..." slurred Raphael as he continued kissing the Guardian Eatos figurine as passionately as he could "I love you too..."