Author's Notes: Thank you so much for all of the reviews! Anyways this chapter is the longest chapter I've ever done to date...so prepare to do alot of reading :D
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the characters, songs, cds, dances, any of the stores mentioned(except the ones I made up), Hello Kitty or Star Wars, so don't sue me:D
How Low Will You Go?
"I want my mommy!" cried a little brown haired boy as wiped his nose on his shirt sleeve while he hid under a bench along with his two friends "I'm so scared!"
Thanks to Amelda, the three boys got a glimpse into their future and now their minds were completely warped. The thought of growing up to be a dirty slob, a guy with his pants on fire, and a girly man, was too much for them. The fact that they might even end up working for some freaky guy with long blue hair and a purple suit was even scarier. Now all they could do was hide under a bench and pray that the mall closed soon so they could go home.
"I'm even more scared than you!" cried the little redhead boy as he wiped the tears away from his eyes with the sleeves on his jacket "I don't wanna grow up to be a sissy!". Suddenly the blonde haired boy who happened to be the oldest of three, realized just how childish they were being so he crawled out from under the bench. "You two babies can stay under there and cry" said the blonde haired boy as his blue eyes cautiously scanned the area "But I bet he's not even here anymore". "You think?" said the redhead boy as he wiped some more tears away from his grey eyes "What if he's still here?". "Yeah!" sniffled the little brown haired boy as he looked up at the older boy with his baby blue eyes "What are we gonna do then?".
Something suddenly caught the blonde boy's eye and a huge grin lit up his face. "We're gonna make him pay!" said the blonde haired boy in a triumphant voice as he suddenly ran off "And I know just how! Come on!". The other two boys quickly crawled out from under the bench and ran after their friend to see what he had in mind. Suddenly their eyes also lit up when also saw what their friend had seen. "YES!" cried both boys as they quickly ran off after their friend "This is gonna be so cool!".
"Let go of me you evil witch!" protested Marik as Ishizu dragged him along by the arm "I've got the Millenium Rod and I'm not afraid to use it!".
After being knocked unconscious by Raphael's shopping bags, Marik didn't wake up for quite awhile and when he did it wasn't pleasant. "Actually I have the Millenium Rod and you're not getting it back" said Ishizu as she pointed to the Millenium Rod sticking out of her purse as she dragged Marik towards The Gap "At least not until you buy some decent clothes". "NO! ANYPLACE BUT THAT!" screamed Marik as he tried to free himself from Ishizu's iron-like grip "THEIR CLOTHES ARE TOO PREPPY!". "Their clothes are perfectly fine" said Ishizu as she glanced back at him and then looked forward "Now why don't you-DEAR RA WHAT IS THAT?".
"Oooh this cd is even better than I hoped for!" cried Pegasus as he walked/danced while listening to his new pink walkman "It makes me want to dance, dance, dance!".
After getting Varon to unwrap his precious copy of "L.A.M.B", Pegasus decided that he wanted to listen to it right away. So he popped into "Aahs", bought a pink walkman, popped in his new cd, and started to enjoy it. Unfortunately Pegasus always seemed to have a nasty little habit whenever he listened to a new cd: He would sing really REALLY loud. "Take a chance you stupid ho!" sang Pegasus at the top of his lungs as he happily danced through the mall oblivious to the stares of horror/disgust he was getting "Take a chance you stupid ho!". Ishizu was just plain shocked by what she was seeing so she momentarily released her grip on Marik, and this was more than enough time for...
POW!
Marik wasn't one to lose a moment so he quickly grabbed the Millenium Rod from Ishizu's purse, raised it up, and clubbed her in the head with it as hard as he could. Ishizu immediately blacked out and fell to the ground while Marik just stood there triumphantly since he had once again avoided another trip to The Gap. "Nighty night Ishizu.." cackled Marik as he looked down at his unconscious sister "That's what you get for making me shop for clothes I hate!". Marik quickly looked around and suddenly ran towards the nearest escalator. "Now to continue my mission!" said Marik as he raised the Millenium Rod over his head "To push the Pharoah down the stairs and become the new Pharoah! Mwahahahha!"
"There be no more black boots that ye haven't tried on..." said the pirate/salesman as he wearily began to ring up Mai and Yami "So will ye be paying cash or credit?"
So far Mai and Yami had tried on absolutely every single black boot in the store. So all together each one had about 40 to 50 pairs of boots that they wanted to buy so far. The salesman was really tired at that point since they kept rushing him and kicking him in the butt. The good thing though was that now there was absolutely nothing left for them to try on, so they would have no choice but to leave. He didn't count on a new shipment of boots being delivered right as Mai and Yami were about to pay. "What's in those boxes?" asked Yami as he noticed a delivery man wheel in a huge cart filled with shoe boxes "Are they black boots?". "Uh...no they be ladies boots" said the salesman but then he noticed that Mai seemed to be getting excited "They be pastel ladies boots". Unfortunately the delivery man accidently tripping and knocking over the shoe boxes and revealing their contents. There was nothing BUT black boots inside and they were the latest fashions too. Mai and Yami's eyes filled with the same psychotic look as before and they immediately jumped onto the pile of black boots and began to greedily dig through it. At this point the salesman couldn't take these two psychos anymore...so he did the logical thing.
THUMP
He fainted and fell behind right onto the pile of shoe boxes that contained all of the boots the psychos were going to buy. At that moment Varon walked up to where Yami and Mai were currently digging for boots and just stared at them. "Okay this is it Varon you can do this" thought Varon to himself as at Mai who was currently holding several boots in her arms "This is your chance to impress her". So he walked over, grinned at Mai, and said "Hey Mai you're looking really good right now". Mai stopped digging through the pile of boots momentarily, but soon she realized who it was. "I know I do" said Mai as she turned her attention back to the boots "Which is more than I can say for you!". "What are you talking about Mai?" said Varon who still didn't remember that he was currently female "I was just trying to give you a compliment". "I don't need compliments from tacky out of style tramps like you" said Mai as she suddenly slid off of the pile of boots with her newest boots "Now beat it!". Why was Mai being so mean all of a sudden? Well meaner than usual at least. It made no sense to Varon but then he remembered why he had gone in there in the first place. "But...what happens if I buy you all of those boots?" said Varon as he suddenly pulled out the huge wad of cash "Would you go out with me?". "WHAT?" shouted Mai as she suddenly dropped the all of the boots from shock "I hate to break it to you but I don't swing that way!". "I think you're barking up the wrong tree" said Yami as he suddenly walked over with an armful of platform boots "I don't think she likes women". Suddenly Varon was snapped back into reality, he slowly looked down, and remembered what he currently looked like.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"HOW COULD I FORGET THAT I WOKE UP LIKE THIS?" thought Varon as he suddenly ran out the door of the shoe store and down the nearest escaltor "DAMN THAT DARTZ! HE'LL PAY FOR ALL OF THIS!". Varon was in such a hurry to get out of the shoe store that he completely failed to notice that he had dropped the wad of money. "And what do we have here?" said Mai as she noticed the huge wad of bills that Varon had dropped "There's enough in here to pay for all of these boots!". "Well lucky you.." said Yami who was secretly kicking himself for not noticing the money first "Everything just works out for you doesn't it?". "Arr...was that all a dream?" groaned the salesman as he suddenly woke up and slowly sat up "Or did it really-AHHHHHHH THEY'RE STILL HERE!". "I'm done looking for boots today" said Mai as she casually tossed the wad of bills towards the salesmen"I've got all the boots I need". "Same here..." said Yami who was still sulking because Mai had gotten the money first "Oh Ra...why didn't I see it first?". "Actually there be more than enough money here to pay for both ye boots!" said the salesman as he finished the counting the money "And ye'd even have some dubloons left over...for a tip perhaps?". "Well it's not my money so what the Hell?" said Mai as she casually flipped her hair "After all it was courtesy of that tacky little tramp". "Ra bless that little tramp!" sniffed Yami who was overwhelmed by the fact that he had just scored tons of free boots "She's brought us so much joy!"."Now time for ye to set sail!" said the salesman as he quickly helped Mai and Yami carry all of their boots out of the store "Now off ye go!". Now both Mai and Yami were happy since they had tons of new black boots. The salesman was even happier though since not only were they leaving, but they'd given him a very generous tip. "It be days like these that make me want to quit" said the salesman as they walked off but then he looked down at the five hundred dollar tip he'd earned "But now I'm off to bury me treasure!".
"OW!" screamed Amelda as Seto suddenly poked him in the ribs as hard as he could with an umbrella picked up somewhere "You're a dirty cheater Kaiba!"
So far Amelda and Seto had trashed half of "Trenchcoat Inferno" during their fight for the beautiful trenchcoat. They knocked over racks of trenchcoats, knocked down several mannequins, knocked several salesmen/customers/ Roland unconscious, and even broke a few of the windows. The remaining salesmen and customers quickly ran out of the store before they too ended up getting hurt. Neither one had let go of the beautiful trenchcoat, but so far Seto was winning the fight since he kept cheating. Now there was no possible way Amelda would ever win since he was no match for Seto's umbrella. He was confident that the trenchcoat was as good as his...but he didn't count on one thing.
"SETO!" screamed Mokuba at the top of his lungs as he suddenly ran into the store and clung to Seto as tightly as he could "I-I-I just ran into Pegasus! Now I'm scared!"
"Let go Mokuba!" shouted Seto as he tried to pull the frightened boy off of himself "Can't you see that I'm-OW". During that moment that Seto got distracted, Amelda grabbed the umbrella from Seto and poked him as hard as he could. Seto was now not only weaponless, but enraged as well. There was no way he'd ever let some sissy girly crossdresser have HIS beautiful trenchcoat! He had to do something...and that's when he noticed it. Seto and Mokuba had been in a toy store earlier that day since Mokuba wanted a real life light sabre like the ones in the movie "Starwars". Seto had no choice but to buy him one after he Mokuba threatened to throw a tantrum if he didn't. Now it was obviously a good thing that he had. "Let go of that trenchcoat!" shouted Seto as he quickly began to reach into the bag hanging off of Mokuba's arm "This is your only warning". "That's pretty big talk for someone without his umbrella!" said Amelda with a confident smirk as he prepared to poke Seto once again "Now prepare to feel-HOLY CRAP!". Before Amelda even knew what had happened, Seto had pulled out the green light sabre and slashed the umbrella in half. Now Seto was armed with a light sabre while Amelda was left with half of an umbrella. "So are you ready to give up?" said Seto confidently as pointed the green light sabre in Amelda's face. "You do realize I can slice in you in half with this thing right?". "He's right..." sniffled Mokuba as he finally let go of his brother and moved aside "It's a limited edition Yoda Real Action Lightsabre". Amelda didn't want to give the trenchcoat up, but he knew he was no match for a light sabre. Even if he tried something, then Kaiba might accidently end up slashing the trenchcoat and then no one would have it. Amelda lowered his head in painful resignation and was about to let go of the trenchcoat when suddenly...
"CATCH!" cried the little red haired boy which immediately caught Amelda's attention and he saw a blue light sabre sailing towards the air towards him "Now you can fight him!"
The three little boys had also bought the real life light sabres and they were going to use them to teach Amelda a lesson. Then they happened to notice lots of people running out of a store so they decided to go see. When they got there they saw Amelda poking Seto with the umbrella, so they decided this was the time to make their move. Unfortunately they didn't count on Seto having his own light sabre and threatening to hurt Amelda with it. They couldn't allow this since THEY wanted to hurt Amelda. Now thanks to their help, Amelda had a light sabre too and the fight would be fair once again. "Now you're definitely never getting that trenchcoat Kaiba!" shouted Amelda as he pointed the blue light sabre in Seto's face "It's as good as mine!". The light sabres hummed as they continued to fight as aggressively as they could(without letting go of or tearing the trenchcoat of course). After a few minutes though, the battery died on Amelda's light sabre. He tried to get it to work once again, but Seto also took his opportunity to kick him and knock him right into a mannequin. "So..this is where it ends!" laughed Seto as he pointed the light sabre right at Amelda's throat "NOW LET GO OF THE TRENCHCOAT OR-".
POW!
In the end Seto's life sabre proved to be no match for the weapon Amelda used against him: A good old fashioned mannequin arm! The mighty Kaiba just toppled over and fell to the ground while all the kids just stared in shock. Now not only had he beaten his archenemy, but the trenchcoat was his. "Finally!" said Amelda with a smile as he pulled the trenchcoat away from the now unconscious Kaiba "It's all mine!". Amelda then triumphantly took off his old trenchcoat and immediately put on the beautiful new trenchcoat. "You hurt Seto...Thank you so much!" cried Mokuba as he suddenly ran over and reached into Seto's trenchcoat and pulled out his wallet " Now I can go get a corndog!". Mokuba quickly put the wallet in his pocket and happily ran out of the store.
"That was so cool!" cried the little brown haired boy as he ran over and looked up at Amelda "Can you teach me to fight like that?". "You're tougher than you look!" said the little blonde haired boy as he also ran over "You're not a sissy at all!". "Now I'm glad that I'm gonna grow up to be like you!" said the little redhead boy as he looked up at Amelda with a smile "Now you're my idol and I'd do anything for you!". "Anything? Well you can carry my old trenchcoat" said Amelda as he suddenly tossed his old trenchcoat at the kid "I don't want it to get wrinkled". "No fair!" cried the little brown haired boy "I want to carry it!". "So do I!" cried the blonde as he tried to pull the trenchcoat away from the redhead "I'm bigger than both of you!". "No I wanna carry it!" cried the redhead as he tugged at the trenchcoat "He said I could carry it!". Finally they settled the argument by draping the trenchcoat over their heads like a tarp and so they could all carry it. "Well I'm done with my shopping" thought Amelda as he began to walk out of the store with his new entourage following him "I'm guess I'd better see what Raphael and Varon are up to".
"This is so degrading..." thought Raphael to himself who was in the middle of doing the Hamsterdance "But so far I've made over a thousand dollars"
So far Raphael had done the chicken dance, the lambada, the macarena, ballet, flamenco, the mashed potato, the twist, the hustle, the robot, and the electric slide. The crowd loved him and they cheered wildly as he danced his heart out. Each time he finished dancing though, he told them that he'd had enough. Unfortunately(or fortunately) each time he did, Siegfried would reach into his pocket, pull out a hundred dollar bill, and request a new dance. "This is great fun!" said Bakura as he tossed a penny at Raphael "He certainly can dance!". "I've never seen anyone do this dance before!" said Mako as he tossed a dubloon at Raphael "But it sure is funny!". "Whoo way to dance!" shouted Duke Devlin with a smug smirk on his face "I've never seen anyone even attempt the Hamsterdance before". "I love the Hamsterdance!" cried out Serenity as she watched Raphael dance "It's so cool!". "You do?" said Duke when he noticed how cute Serenity was "Uh..well no one can do it like me!". Serenity just ignored him though and kept staring at Raphael in awe. "I think I'll have him do the Cotton Eye Joe next" said Siegfried as he chuckled in amusement "Yes that should be a good dance for him to do"
"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT!" shouted Raphael as he came to a sudden stop "I'm sick and tired of dancing for your amusement! I'm outta here!". "Really?" said Siegfried as he began to reach into his pocket "What a pity...I wanted to see you do the Cotton Eye Joe". "Didn't your hear me?" shouted Raphael who was already pretty fed up "I'm through with this nonsense!". "So you wouldn't do it..."said Siegfried as he suddenly pulled out what was in his pocket "Not even for five hundred dollars?". Everyone suddenly gasped and looked at Siegfried as if though he were insane. "Not even for five hundred dollars!" shouted Raphael who had already made up his mind "So find someone else to dance for you!". There was no way he'd let himself be humiliated any further by some pink haired guy that made Amelda look extremely manly. "Oh my...look what I found" said Siegfried as he suddenly reached into another pocket and pulled more money "I found an extra five hundred...what a pity that you're not interested".
"Whoo this is fun isn't it?" cried out the pink haired girl who had miraculously sobered up(much to Dartz's disappointement) "Don't you think so?"
When Dartz said he wanted to go someplace more "fun", the pink haired girl misunderstood his definition of "fun". So she took him to place that she liked to go to whenever she wanted to have fun: a rave. "What on Earth is this?" said Dartz who was very mad that she had completely misunderstood what he meant "And why are you dressed like that!"."Come on lets dance!" said the pink haired girl who for some reason was now covered from head to toe in glitter and glowsticks "You're gonna have so much fun!". "I'd might as well go back to following those three morons around" muttered Dartz as he suddenly remembered what he had been doing earlier "At least that was more interest-HELLO!". At that moment a few girls wearing nothing but short skirts, skimpy tops, and lots of glitter happened to walk by. "Well...maybe I can stay for awhile" said Dartz with a perverted grin on his face as he leered at the girls "It's not like three morons are doing anything interesting". "Good!" shouted the girl as she grabbed Dartz's arm "But first we need to get you in the mood!"
A Few Minutes Later
The pink haired girl decided that Dartz was much too serious looking his his purple suit(hehehe) so she put some glow sticks in his hair. She also gave him some sort ot drink that she claimed would make everything even more fun. "It fizzes..." thought Dartz as he looked down at the cup in his hand "Well..I guess it can't be too bad". Suddenly he was filled with an irresistable urge to dance and there was no one that could stop him. All of the other people at the rave just cheered like crazy and crowded around as he began to break dance. "Wow look at him go!" shouted a guy dressed up like Luke Skywalker as Dartz began to spin around on his head like a top "Who is he?". "I dunno but he's with me!" shouted the pink haired girl as she stood there with the others "He calls himself the King of Atlantis!". "I don't call myself the King of Atlantis!" shouted Dartz even though he was upside down and spinning like a top "I AM THE KING OF ATLANTIS!". "King of Atlantis?" shouted all of the others as they looked at each other in disbelief and then at Dartz "King of Atlantis! Whoo!". " I haven't partied like this since the Roman Empire!" shouted Dartz as he suddenly jumped up and began to wave a pair of glowsticks while the crowd cheered "Hmm...I wonder how Brutus, Cassius, and the rest of the gang are doing?".
"That was so humiliating..." whined Varon as he hid under a bench in hopes that no one could see him "And worst of all I dropped my money!"
Of all the humiliating things to have happened in the day, forgetting he was female and hitting on Mai had to be the worst one. Now even if he did become male again, there was no chance of impressing Mai since he didn't have any money. Now all he could do was hide under the bench, hope that the mall closed soon, and pray that Joey didn't show up and try to hit on him again. "This is all Dartz's fault..." muttered Varon to himself as he continued looking at the people walking by "Well he'll pay soon enough!". Suddenly someone in a pair of red and black boots came to a stop in front of the bench and they were being followed by three other people...obviously kids.
"Where the Hell are they?" said Amelda who had already been on several floors at that point "I should have run into one of them by now". "Hey I know those boots!" said Varon as he suddenly peered out from under the bench "Amelda down here!". Amelda and his little entourage immediately looked down and saw a pair of baby blue eyes staring up at them. "What are you doing under there?" said Amelda with an amused smirk as Varon began to pull himself and all of his shopping bags out from under the bench "Did your purse fall under the bench?". "That's none of your business!" snapped Varon as he quickly dusted himself off "Right now we have to find Raph and get out of here!". "Hey who is she?" giggled the little brown haired boy as he and the other boys peered out from under Amelda's trenchcoat "Is she your girlfriend?". "GIRLFRIEND?" shouted both Amelda and Varon at the same time "NO WAY!".
"Hey what's going on over there?" suddenly said the little blonde haired boy as he pointed to the music store "Lets go see!". The three boys quickly took off running and Amelda had no choice but to follow them since they had his trenchcoat. "Heheh you'll get what you deserve Amelda" thought Varon to himself as he quickly followed Amelda "You'll never look at anything strawberry scented the same way again!". They all quickly reached the store and they noticed a big crowd of people looking at something.
"Come on kick higher!" shouted Duke as Raphael danced the Cotton Eye Joe "You're barely kicking your leg up at all!"
Even after Raphael swore not to dance anymore and keep his dignity, Siegfried managed to get him to dance again. Now he continued to make a total fool of himself but at least no one he knew would ever find out about it. "It's a good thing no one knows I'm here" thought Raphael to himself as he finally began to kick his leg up higher "I can imagine what would happen if-"
"RAPHAEL?" shouted both Amelda in Varon as they finally managed to see what everyone was staring at "What the Hell are you doing?".
"DON'T LOOK AT ME!" shouted Raphael as he quickly stopped dancing "Go away and pretend you didn't see anything!". "Hey I didn't tell you to stop!" suddenly snapped Siegfried since he wasn't paying him for nothing "Now stop talking to those two and-Ahhhhhhhhhhh!". At that moment Raphael grabbed Siegfried from the neck, lifted him off the floor, and looked him straight in the eyes. "I've had it up to here!" shouted Raphael as he began to tighten his hold on Siegfried's neck "I don't want one thousand dollars...I want ten thousand!". "Ten...thousand" croaked Siegfried who was desperately struggling to breath "You're out of your mind!". Suddenly Raphael tighten his grip so much that Siegfried's eyes were nearly popping out of his head. "Here you go!" croaked Siegfried as he quickly reached into his pocket and handed all of his money over to Raphael "It's all yours!". Raphael quickly counted the money and when he realized it was about right he looked straight at Siegfried and said "It's a pleasure doing business with you". He then simply tossed Siegfried aside like a rag doll while Duke, Serenity, Bakura, and Mako ran away as quickly as they could.
"Wow he's really girly!" giggled the brown haired boy as Siegfried coughed and struggled to catch his breath "He even got pink hair!". "Actually it's purple..." said Siegfried as he continued coughing and gasping for air "I just dye it pink...".
"Well it looks like we're all together again" said Raphael as he quickly put the money into his pocket "And I see you two did some shopping". "Not as much as you" said Amelda as he pointed to all of the bags that Raphael had "And I thought Varon had alot of bags!". "Well at least I wasn't selfish like you!" said Varon as he reached into one of his bags "I got you each a nice little present!". " I got you guys something too..." said Raphael as he began to look through his bags "I just don't know what bag they're in...". Varon then quickly pulled out two nicely wrapped gifts and handed them over to his friends. "I wonder what this could be?" said Raphael as he quickly tore his gift open "WHAT THE HELL?". There sat five little Kuribohs, each a different color, looking up at Raphael as cute as could be. He cautiously poked one and it made a cute little squeaking sound. Raphael began to feel really nauseous at that moment. "Uh thanks..." said Raphael as she shoved his gift into a bag(there were no trashcans around) "So what did he get you Amelda?".
"This smells like strawberries.." said Amelda as he cautiously began to open the gift "Do I even want to know why?". Varon just grinned like crazy and anxiously waited for what was next. When Amelda saw what the gift was, his grey eyes opened wide with horror. The sweet strawberry scent was coming from the cutest little Hello Kitty plushie he had ever seen. "IT'S EVEN DRESSED LIKE A STRAWBERRY!" screamed Amelda as she suddenly dropped the plushie, threw himself to the ground, and began to have violent convulsions "AHHHHHHHHH!".
The three little boys put down the trenchcoat and just stared at their new idol as he twitched on the ground. "I wonder what he's doing?" said the redhead boy as he stared at his friends "Should we do it too?". They looked at each other, then they looked up at Raphael and girly Varon, then they stared at Amelda once again. "YEAH!" shouted all three boys as they suddenly threw themselves on the ground and began to twitch while shouting "AHHHHHHHHHHH!".
"Heheheh this is the best part of the day!" laughed Varon as he looked up at Raphael who was just shaking his head in disbelief "I know what I'm getting him for his birthday!".