Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, any of the characters, or The Gap, Home Shopping Network, QVC or "Sex And The City" so don't sue me:D
Author's Notes: Thank you so much to all the people who reviewed the last chapter! Oh and this chapter is kinda long so just a little warning :)
Dartz's Angels
"Ooh why are all of you looking at me?" asked Pegasus as he finally stopped dancing and took off his headphones "Did I forget to put pants on again?"
Several minutes had passed since Pegasus was declared the winner, but he was still busy dancing. It was only until Pegasus noticed the enormous crowd of people staring at him, that he realized something was going on. At that moment a loud cheer rose up from the crowd and all of the ravers ran forward and picked Pegasus up. They then put a crown made of glowsticks on his head and the pink haired girl came towards him.
"Maximillion Pegasus you've just become our new "King of Dance"!" shouted the pink haired girl into her microphone "What are you going to do now?". "Ooh I'm going to go get some juice!" said Pegasus excitedly "Hmm and maybe some gorgonzola cheese!". "You heard the man!" shouted the pink haired girl with an annoyed look on her face "Lets go get him some juice!" The pink haired girl didn't really like Pegasus that much but now he was the king so he had no choice but to obey. A few of the others looked kind of disappointed too since they wanted to go and get buzzed.
"Ooh you do realize that by juice I actually mean wine right?" said Pegasus with a slight laugh "It's my nickname for it". "You do?" exclaimed the pink haired girl as her face lit up like crazy "To the nearest bar!". The ravers gave a loud cheer and they ran out of the mall as quickly as they could with their new king.
"How did this happen?" cried Dartz as he lay facedown on the floor and pounded it with his fists "I was supposed to win!"
"It's not fair!" cried Yami who was also on the floor and kicking his legs like a little kid throwing a tantrum in a toy store "I should have won!"
"You should've but you didn't!" shouted Marik as he ran up to Yami and pulled him up off of the floor "So now I get to do this!"
Marik immediately dragged Yami over to the escalator since Yami was too depressed to do anything about it. "At last!" laughed Marik with maniacal glee as he prepared to toss Yami over the edge "As soon as I get rid of you I'll be-". "You'll be shopping for new clothes at Gap" said Ishizu as she suddenly grabbed Marik's arm and pulled him off "Now come on! They're having a half price sale right now!". "NO!" shrieked Marik as he tried to pull himself out of her firm grip "NOT UNTIL I TOSS HIM OFF THE ESCALATOR!".
"Go ahead..." said Yami as lay facedown on the floor "I don't want to live in a world where I'm not the king of dance!".
"See?" said Marik as he pulled out the Millenium Rod and brandished it in Ishizu's face "Now let me go before I-"
SLAP!
It all happened so quickly that Marik wasn't even sure what had happened at first. Ishizu was losing patience with Marik's constant attempts to avoid shopping at Gap. The only reason he was able to do so was because he had the Millenium Rod which enabled him to do crazy/illegal things. Without the Millenium Rod, the most he could do was throw a tantrum. So with one firm slap, Ishizu knocked the Millenium Rod out of his hand. The Millenium Rod then sailed through the air and came crashing down on Siegfried's head. It broke Marik's mind control over him but it knocked him unconscious as well. The rod then hit the two ravers that Marik had been using as a chair and footstool. Once Marik's mind control over them was broken, they wandered off in search of the rest of the ravers. Finally the Millenium Rod bounced up into the air once more and landed right in Mokuba's hand.
"Hey what's this?" thought Mokuba as he looked down at his older brother who was still giving him a piggyback ride "Well whatever it is, it's gonna be Seto's birthday gift because it didn't cost me a cent!".
"NO MY ROD!" screamed Marik when he realized that Mokuba had caught it "GIVE IT BACK!". "Enough with the excuses!" said Ishizu as she grabbed him roughly by the ear "There's some vests that I want you to buy and wear over that ridiculous bellyshirt!". "NO!" cried Marik as Ishizu began to drag him off kicking and screaming "I don't want to wear a vest!". It was no use though since Ishizu tossed him onto the escalator and took him straight to Gap.
"Why Ra?" thought Yami as he looked down the escalator and wondered whether he should just throw himself down it "Why didn't you let me win?"
"Why Great Leviathan?" cried Dartz at the top of his lungs as Varon, Amelda, and Raphael just stared at him "WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME WIN?"
"Because you're old and completely crazy?" said Varon with a snicker as he looked down at his boss as he sobbed like a baby "Not to mention tacky".
As soon as Varon said this, Dartz jumped up and looked straight at him. "Old?" asked Dartz as his left eye suddenly began to twitch "Tacky?". If there was one word Dartz hated being called besides old, it would have to be tacky. After all he didn't spend thousands of dollars on snazzy purple suits and robes for nothing. Varon had gone too far this time and there was no way Dartz was going to let him get away with it.
"Yeah" said Varon as he defiantly put his hands on his hips "I think you're-gah!". "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME OLD AND TACKY!" screamed Dartz with a maniacal look in his eyes as he wrapped his hands around Varon's neck and began to choke him "I'LL GIVE YOU OLD AND TACKY!".
"Don't just stand there!" cried Varon when he noticed Raphael and Amelda just standing there staring "Help me!". Raphael didn't dare to do anything for fear that Dartz would punish him or humiliate him somehow. Amelda on the other hand was still in the short red dress and heels which was humiliating enough. Then again even if he hadn't, he still probably wouldn't have helped Varon. "Lemme go!" cried Varon as he struggled to breathe while trying to get Dartz's hands away from his neck "Somebody help me!".
"GET YOUR HANDS OFFA VARONA!" shouted Joey as he ran forward when he heard Varon's cries for help "No one hurts da girl I wanna marry!"
The moment Joey said this, Dartz's eyes opened wide and a huge grin appeared on his face. He had just planned on choking Varon til he lost consciousness, but now he had a better idea. "You want to marry this girl?" asked Dartz as he finally let go of Varon's neck and let him drop to the floor "Are you sure?". "Yeah!" shouted Joey as he immediately ran to Varon's side and pulled him/her up "Dis is da one thing I'm sure of!". "I-I-I saw my whole life flash before my eyes" mumbled Varon as he sat there coughing and trying to recover from yet another of Dartz's attempts on his life "But no Mai...". "Well if you're that certain of this my child" said Dartz with an evil twinkle in his mismatched eyes "I think there's something you should know about 'Varona' ".
SNAP!
The moment Dartz snapped his fingers, a huge cloud of smoke appeared and surrounded Varon and Joey. "Dammit!" muttered Varon as he tried his best to keep from suffocating yet again "This is the second attempt against my life in less than a minute!". When Raphael and Amelda saw Varon, their eyes opened wide in surprise. Dartz had finally decided to turn Varon back into a guy. The only thing was that he decided to leave him in the gold dress and heels. Well at least Amelda wasn't the only one in a dress now. Joey was still coughing pretty badly from the smoke, so he wasn't aware of what had happened.
"Oh..my head" groaned Siegfried as he opened his eyes up and realized that he was lying on the floor for some reason "I feel like I got beaten up by that big ape".
Siegfried slowly pulled himself up but was so dizzy that he could hardly see or walk. He noticed that there were some people standing up ahead. He figured that maybe they knew what had happened to him. Maybe they could also help him find the escalator since he didn't quite remember where it was at the moment.
"Dat smoke was so thick!" said Joey as he finally managed to stop coughing and looked over at his beloved Varon "Are ya okay Varona?". "Excuse me" said a very dizzy Siegfried as he tapped Raphael on the shoulder "But could you tell me what happened to me and perhaps where the escalator is?"
Blink Blink
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The moment Joey looked over, he didn't see his beautiful Varona in her sexy gold dress and heels. The only thing he saw was Varon standing there in a gold dress and heels. "VARON?" screamed Joey at the top of his lungs when he saw Varon in drag "WHAT DA HELL'S GOIN ON? WHERE'S VARONA?". "My dear child" said Dartz as he tried his hardest not to burst into laughter "Your dear Varona is in reality nothing more than Varon in a dress". Joey began to scream louder than ever and it was only then that Varon looked down and realized why he was screaming. "I'm a guy again? YES!" shouted Varon at the top of his lungs from the joy "But why the Hell am I in this dress?".
"It's you!" gasped Siegfried when he realized that the person he had tapped Raphael "You did this to me!"."No a creepy blonde teenager with a bellyshirt did that to you" said Raphael as he tried to ignore the crazy pink haired man"I believe he's at Gap right now". "Liar!" screamed Siegfried at the top of his lungs as he slowly began to move away from him "No one in their right mind shops at Gap!". "Did you just call me a liar?" asked Raphael as he folded his arms and looked down at Siegfried "Nobody calls me a liar". Siegfried began to tremble like a frightened chihuahua, but then something hit him and knocked him down.
"OUTTA MY WAY PINKY!' screamed Joey at the top of his lungs as he ran as quickly as he could towards the escalator "I HAVE TA GET OUTTA HERE!".
"NOT BEFORE ME YOU ARE!" shouted Siegfried as he jumped up and began to run towards the escalator as well "NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU FASHION VICTIM!". Joey and Siegfried were so traumatized and in such a hurry to get away, that they failed to notice something. Yami was still lying on the ground sulking, so they both ended up tripping over him and rolling down the escalator. Once they reached the bottom, they both got up and continued running in order to get away.
Other people's misfortune was always the best source of entertainment for Dartz. After everything that had just happened, Dartz was laughing so hard that he nearly wet his pants. Whenever Dartz laughed this hard, he also tended to lose control of his powers and strange things would happen. Sometimes things would explode, Raphael would be thrown off his motorcycle, Amelda would end up at The Gap, or Varon's room would be cleaned. Luckily this wasn't the case today and the only thing that happened was that Amelda's clothes were back to normal. "My trenchcoat!" cried Amelda happily when he looked down and realized his beautiful new trenchcoat was back "I've never been this happy!". "Hey why did your clothes go back to normal?" shouted Varon when he realized what had happened "I'm still stuck in this dress!".
"Great Leviathan! That just made my day!" cried Dartz who was now lying flat on his back laughing hysterically "I don't think anything could top that!"
POW!
"YOU!" screamed Tea at the top of her lungs after she tackled Amelda and knocked him flat on his back "HOW DARE YOU DANCE WITH YAMI?".
Tea had been quietly sitting in a corner plotting against Amelda. She was trying to think of a punishment that was extremely cruel as well as extremely painful. Unfortunately Tea wasn't an evil genius so that didn't really lead anywhere. Finally she decided to ask herself a very important question: What would Yami Bakura do? She figured that Yami Bakura would just attack him for no good reason, so she did the same thing. She hissed and clawed Amelda like some sort of insane feline. Raphael and Varon could only cringe and give thanks that they weren't in Amelda's shoes at that moment. Dartz on the other hand couldn't pass up an opportunity like this, so he pulled out his camcorder and began to film everything.
"And here we have a psychopathic girl vs Amelda" said Dartz as he zoomed in on the fight "I can almost see the fur flying!". "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" shouted Amelda as he barely managed to pull himself away from Tea "The only reason I danced with him was-". "YOU THINK YOU'RE SO PRETTY DON'T YOU?" screamed Tea as she slammed her fist right into Amelda's face " WELL YOU WON'T BE SO PRETTY ONCE I'M DONE WITH YOU!". Tea then punched him in the face a few more times while kicking him in the stomach as well. She still wasn't satisfied though so she decided to finish him off once and for all by kicking him in the...
OWWWWWWW!
"OW!" shouted Raphael and Varon as they cringed when they saw where Tea had kicked him "That's gotta hurt!". "Well he's a terrible dancer who cost me the contest" said Yami who had also seen exactly what had happened "But I can't help but feel sorry for him". Even Amelda lay there on the ground curled up in a little ball and howling from the pain, Tea wasn't done. She went over to him and tore a piece off a his shirt and decided to keep it as a reminder of her victory over him. Once she tucked the piece of lavender cloth in her pocket, she looked over and noticed Yami lying there.
"There you are Yami!" exclaimed Tea in a sugary sweet tone of voice as she began to walk over towards him "I was afraid that I had lost you again". Sure Tea looked sweet and friendly but she was actually a total nutcase in disguise. A nutcase who might suddenly turn on him and send him straight to the emergency room. As Tea began to get even closer, Yami knew exactly what he had to do: Run away. "Uh...I just remembered that I left the bathtub running" said Yami as he jumped onto the escalator and began to run "So goodb-"
OH NO!
Yami had been in such a hurry to get away that he forgot that he was wearing super tall platform boots. He ended up stumbling and rolling all the way to the bottom of the escalator. Tea gasped and immediately ran down the escalator and all the way down to where her beloved Yami was laying. "Yami!" cried Tea as she grabbed Yami and shook him like crazy "Speak to me!". "Tea?" groaned Yugi as he looked up at Tea with his big violet eyes "W-What happened to me?". "Yugi?" asked Tea as she looked at him in surprise "Where's Yami?". "I don't know" said Yugi as he looked up at the girl of his dreams "But that's not importan- Hey where are you going?". Without any warning Tea let go of Yugi and walked off feeling alone, angry, and oddly enough heartbroken...
"Are you okay Amelda?" asked Raphael as he looked down at the poor redhead who was still in severe pain "Do you need anything?"
The moment Raphael said this, Varon reached into a bag and was about to pull out Amelda's strawberry feline archenemy. Unfortunately Dartz got to Amelda first and began to torment him before Varon got a chance. "So you've lost yet another fight to a woman" said Dartz as he zoomed his camcorder in on the bruised and beaten redhead "What do you plan to do now?". "I..." groaned Amelda as he slowly and painfully pulled himself off to his knees "Plan to go home and pretend that none of this-WHAT THE HELL?"
"YES!" screamed Seto at the top of his lungs as he suddenly yanked the trenchcoat off of Amelda "IT'S MINE! MINE! ALL MINE!"
Seto had endured so much that day that he vowed not to leave the mall until he found that trenchcoat. Unfortunately even after everyone left after the dance contest was over, he had no clue where it could be. "Dammit" muttered Seto as he crawled around on all fours with Mokuba sitting on his back "I wish there was a way I could find where that crossdresser is!". "Hey what's this?" said a very surprised Mokuba when the Millenium Rod began to move in his hand and glow like crazy "This thing is pointing straight ahead for some reason!". "Huh?" asked Seto who had no clue about the nonsense that his little brother was talking about "What's straight-THERE HE IS!". So Seto quickly stood up, causing Mokuba to fall off, and immediately ran over to where Amelda was.
"COME BACK HERE KAIBA!" screamed Amelda as he struggled to run after Kaiba, but was too hurt to do so "That's my trenchcoat!". "You mean it's my trenchcoat!" laughed Seto as he immediately put on the trenchcoat "See? It looks much better on me!". Seto then laughed like a maniac once more before running away as quickly as he could. He was in such a hurry that he didn't notice that he had forgotten something. "Hey wait for me Seto!" cried Mokuba as he ran after his brother with the Millenium Rod in hand "You promised to take me for pizza after this!"
"My beautiful trenchcoat!" cried Amelda as he fell to his knees with a look of defeat on his face "I stole it first so it's mine!"
"Here" said the young redhead as he and the other two boys walked up to Amelda and tossed his old trenchcoat on the ground "You can have your trenchcoat back".
"Don't throw my trenchcoat on the ground!" exclaimed Amelda as he quickly picked it up and hugged it "It's the only one I've got left..". "Hey we can do what we want!" said the young redhead as he looked up at Amelda "Especially since you really are a sissy!". "We saw you get beaten up by a girl!" shouted the young brunette as he looked up at Amelda with his baby blue eyes "So that makes you a big sissy!". "Hey he's right!" said Varon as he snickered a bit when he heard what the boy said "I like the way this kid thinks". "Then you let someone steal your other trenchcoat" said the young blonde as he shook his head in disgust "You didn't even put up a fight". "The kid's got a point" said Raphael as he looked over at Amelda who was turning several shades of red "You could have at least gone after Kaiba".
"HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO GO AFTER KAIBA?" shouted a very pissed off Amelda at the top of his lungs "I CAN HARDLY WALK AFTER GETTING KICKED DOWN THERE!"
"Well what do we have here?" asked Dartz as he pushed Amelda out of his way and looked down at the little boys "Three little boys who oddly enough remind me of somebody...but who?". "Hey you're that dirty old man that peed his pants!" shouted the young brunette as he looked up at Dartz "Eww you need to wear old people diapers!". "Look who's talking!" " scoffed the young redhead as he looked over at the brunette "You wet the bed the last time we had a sleepover!". "I already told you!" cried the brunette as he looked up at the older boy "I spilled lemonade in my sleeping bag!". "Will you two knock if off?" said the young blonde as he stood between both boys before they started fighting "I'm sick of you two fighting over stupid stuff!".
"Hmm this is all so familiar" said Dartz as he looked down at the boys "But where have I seen it before?". Dartz glanced over at his minions for a moment to see if it would refresh his memory. So far the only thing he saw was Varon attempting to throw one of his high heels at Amelda, Amelda attempting to kill Varon, and Raphael standing between them. "Even if Dartz turned me into a girl" shouted Varon at the top of his lungs as he threw the shoe at Amelda "You're still girlier than me!". "I'm not girly!" shouted Amelda as he caught the shoe and threw it back as hard as he could "You take that back!". "OW!" shouted Raphael as the shoe ended up hitting him right in the face "Can't you two go one day without fighting?". "He started it!" shouted Varon and Amelda in unison as they pointed at each other. "Nope..." thought Dartz as he turned away and glanced over at the boys "It doesn't ring a bell at all".
"Future sissy!" cried the young brunette as he took off his shoe and threw it at the redhead. "Future slob!" shouted the young redhead as he caught the shoe and threw it back. "Ow!" cried the young blonde as the shoe hit him in the head "That hurt!". The brunette and the redhead were about to start fighting, but Dartz walked up to and pulled them apart. "There's something very familiar about you my children" said Dartz as eerily as possible as he looked down at the boys "Would you mind telling me your names?".
"Valon!"
"Alister"
"Rafael..."
"What?" thought Amelda and Varon as they looked over at the young boys standing in front of Dartz "Those are the stupidest name I've ever heard!"
"Hmm even your names seem familiar for some reason" said Dartz as he pulled three of his business cards out of his pocket "Anyways I want you to hang on to these for the next ten years".
"D-Dartz" said Valon as he attempted to read what it said on the business card "P-P-Pretzel? No..P-P-Pres...". "It says President!" snapped Alister who was losing patience with the younger boy "President of Paradius Corp...uh..a little help?". "Corporation" said Rafael as he read the business card once more "Dartz President of the Paradius Corporation". "Yes my children" said Dartz as he chuckled and rubbed his hands evilly "But before I go may I have a few words of advice for you". Dartz told young Valon to start wearing motorcycle goggles on his head and to learn how to speak with an Australian accent. He then told young Alister to start putting gel in his hair and to start doing more situps for some reason. Finally Dartz told young Rafael to go out and buy himself a Guardian Eatos doll, a Guardian Grarl doll, and a Guardian Key'est doll for some reason.
"Now if one of these three morons has an "accident" " thought Dartz as he looked over at his three top minions "I'll have a replacement for them...eventually"
"Uh...okay" said the three boys in unison as they slowly began to back away from the crazy blue haired man "See ya later!". The three boys ran down the escalator and kept on running until they got outside of the mall. There was no way they were going to risk hanging around and having this crazy old man tell them even more nonsense.
RIP!
"Dammit! These stupid pantyhose ripped open" growled Varon as he looked down at one of his legs "What do you do when that happens Amelda?". "How the Hell should I know?" snapped Amelda who was feeling tired, cranky, and some other feeling that he didn't quite understand "I just want this day to end..". "Me too" said Raphael who was done carefully picking up all of his bags "I just want to get home right now". "And just how are we supposed to get home?" whined Varon who was tired, cranky, and getting a rash from the pantyhose "We didn't exactly drive here!".
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"What's this?" said Dartz as he quickly glanced down and realized that his watch was beeping for some reason "It's 6pm already? "Sex And The City" is about to come on!". Watching "Sex And The City" was usually the highlight of Dartz's day and all of his minions knew this. So whenever the show came on, no one had the nerve to interrupt Dartz. Otherwise they'd end up short one soul and the Great Leviathan would end up with yet another appetizer. Dartz didn't want to miss a single second of his show so he decided to use the fastest method of travel.
"I know I swore I would never travel like this again" said Dartz as he looked up into the air and snapped his fingers "But this is a real emergency!". A vortex suddenly appeared overhead and began to suck things up like a giant vacuum cleaner. "AHH!" cried Varon as he was the first one sucked up into the vortex along with some shopping bags "NOT THIS AGAIN!". "No! I don't want to go!" shouted Amelda as he was the next one sucked up into the vortex "My stomach still hurts from last time!". "It's 6pm" thought Raphael as the vortex sucked him and his countless shopping bags up "I wonder what's on the Home Shopping Network and QVC?".
"And away I go!" shouted Dartz as he was finally sucked up into the vortex as well "I just hope I have time to whip up a martini". Even after Dartz and his minions had vanished, the vortex remained for some reason.
"Mokuba!" shouted Seto as he suddenly walked by at that moment looking for his little brother who was lost yet again "Mokuba where are- Hey what's that?"
Seto looked up and noticed the pale purple vortex overhead just swirling around and around. The colors were almost mesmerizing and the more Seto looked at it, the dizzier he became. After a few more seconds, Seto became so dizzy that he just fell on his knees. Suddenly the vortex activated one more time and tried to pull Seto up as well. "W-What's going on?" shouted Seto when he looked back and realized that this swirly purple thing was trying to pull him up "SOMEBODY HELP ME!". "Don't worry sir!" shouted Roland as he came out of nowhere and quickly grabbed one of Seto's legs and began to pull "I'll save you!". This was probably the only time that Seto was glad to have Roland around.
About a minute later the vortex began to die down and then it vanished completely. Seto and Roland just gave a sigh of relief since they had managed to make it out completely unharmed. "I've gotta find Mokuba and get the Hell out of here!" said Seto as he quickly pulled himself up and noticed Roland giving him weird looks "Why are you looking at me like that Roland?". "Uh sir..." said Roland who didn't quite know how to tell his boss what was going on so he whispered it "You're not wearing a...you know". Seto had no clue what Roland meant until he began to make gestures for Seto to look down.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"MY TRENCHCOAT!" screamed Seto at the top of his lungs when he realized that his beautiful new trenchcoat was gone "THAT THING STOLE MY TRENCHCOAT!"
"He's upset because a trenchcoat he stole was stolen from him?" thought Mokuba was standing nearby and had seen the entire thing "He didn't even get this upset when Pegasus captured me!".
"My trenchcoat..." cried Seto as he threw himself on the floor and pounded it with his fists "I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye..."
To Be Continued...