AN: okay, next chap :) I hope you like it : )

thousand thanks to Alex for being the best beta reader in the world!

chapter 8

Sara took seat on one of the four chairs that were placed around the table. It felt so good to finally sit again. Gretchen had propelled her and Grissom through the mall in a speed that seemed to be inhuman even for people in their age. They had almost spend 7 hours with shopping, half of the time they had been racing after Gretchen to not loose track of her.

Her feet hurt like hell and she wished that she could just stretch out on her bed, could take a long hot bath or at least could grimace from the pain, but you do not do that in a restaurant like this. She sighed softly telling this to herself over and over again.

Her eyes rested on Grissom who was obviously fighting with himself to find back his strength. She smiled softly at him but he didn't notice then she turned to Gretchen who didn't seem to be at least a little bit out of breath. How can a woman in her age still be as fresh as a daisy?

Gretchen smiled brightly at her. /So, ready for tomorrow morning?/

Sara grinned to herself, she was more than ready though she still wasn't sure if she could ever look at Grissom again after giving him her gift. Maybe he would think that it was stupid, idiotic, worthless...maybe he wouldn't understand the meaning of it.

But her decision was definite, she would give it to him, it needed to be done and she would do it. Everything that had happened between them in the last two days made it so much easier for her to hold on to her plan even if this relationship was a lie there had been moments that had been more than true.

He had opened up to her in a way that she had never dared to dream about, they had been laughing together, about silly things, about all kind of things...it reminded her of their first encounter in San Francisco. He had been such a funny guy, he had been joking about almost everything, they had backbitten about some of the assistant professors, they had enjoyed being together. Ever since she had been in Vegas she had missed the requital of this feeling she had missed the man who had the ability to make her laugh so easily, who could make her happy with the simplest gesture.

"Yeah, sure I'm ready." She smiled back at Gretchen.

/What about your family? Why aren't they here too? Why don't you celebrate with them?/

And that hit the nail on it's head. Sara swallowed hard. She had tried to push all the thoughts of her mother and her brother away had promised herself to not think about them for these days, had promised herself to celebrate a normal Christmas, a Christmas without any family tragedies hunting her mind...why couldn't she just escape her past at least for a couple of days?

"We visited her mother on Thanksgiving, she's celebrating Christmas with Sara's brother's family this year." Grissom turned in, saving Sara from answering these more than uncomfortable questions.

/That's awesome, how many children does your brother have? Big families are great. I bet you're a great aunt./

"We don't see each other that often since I live in Vegas." That was it, this was even worse than the already nightmare like conversation in the morning.

The waiter had already served three glasses of Champaign, now Sara grabbed one of them not really drinking, more staring into the sparkling liquid. She wouldn't find answers in the bubbles but she could pretend that the bubble she had been living in for the last forty-eight hours was not about to burst.

Her right hand rested on her thigh while her left one clutched the stem of the Champaign glass she tried to remain calm, to pretend that everything was okay but it just wouldn't work. She faked a smile well knowing that at least Grissom would perceive that she felt horrible but if she wouldn't distract herself with smiling she knew that she'd break out in tears.

She knew that Grissom had made up this excuse with the intention to help Sara out of the uncomfortable atmosphere that his mother's question had created but he had just made it worse.

And he noticed that. He swallowed hard when he noticed that it took her all her inner strength to not loose her poise.

/Oh, that's sad, I think that the bonds of a family are really the most important ones./

Sara felt how her hands began to shake, she swallowed hard. Gretchen didn't know what she was doing to her and Sara knew that she couldn't blame her for asking those questions and making those remarks about the importance of family bonds but it made her heart hurt as if it was fixed in a vise.

Suddenly she felt Grissom's hand under the table, he carefully searched for her hand and took it into his when he found it.

She turned to him thanking him with a soft smile. Just by the feeling of his hand on hers she felt better, she wasn't alone, he knew how she felt and he didn't want her to be sad.

He slowly ran his thumb over the back of her hand sending a cold shower down her spine while her whole body was slowly filling up with warmth and ease.

He squeezed her hand and smiled warmly at her, giving her the strength that she needed to desperately.

She took a deep breath then she let go off his hand and slowly left her seat. "Excuse me for a minute." She said softly and walked over to the bathrooms.

As soon as she was out of sight she got her cell phone out of her purse and dialled a number. She leaned back against the wall of the hallway that lead to the bathrooms, waiting for the call to be answered.

"Sidle."

"Ben?" Her voice was shaking but she didn't really know why.

"Yeah..."

"It's Sara..." Hell, she was nervous, she hadn't been talking to her brother for almost two years.

"Sara?" He asked unbelieving.

She swallowed hard. "Your sister."

"I know that." He laughed softly. "I just can't believe that you're actually calling me."

"It's been a while."

"That's an understatement. Are you in town? Is something wrong? Something up with Mom?"

"No I...I just wanted to...call...and... wish you a merry Christmas." It felt so weird to hear his voice. The nervousness slowly left her but she was still shaking and cold showers kept running down her spine.

"A merry Christmas to you too sis."

She could imagine how bright he was smiling, she felt it in the sound of his words. "How are you? Any news?"

"You ask me after news? I'd have to tell you everything that happened in the last two years...but you didn't answer my question."

"Question?"

"Are you in town?"

"No, no...I'm in Vegas. At home."

"Oh...well, in case you should ever come here, call me. Okay?"

"I will."

"Promise?"

"Promise... But you are okay, are you?"

"Sure. Worst thing that happened to me since our last conversation was a ticket for breaking the speed limit."

Sara laughed softly. She wondered what had always kept her away from calling him, why she had avoided him for so long. Maybe it had been the fear of being reminded of their past, maybe it had been the fact that she had never really felt close to anyone, that she had never felt the need of being close to him. But Gretchen was right, the bonds of a family are the most important ones. "I...I have to hang up now." Suddenly she remembered where she was and that Grissom and Gretchen were waiting for her.

"Oh...why?" he asked slightly disappointed.

"Because I was actually having dinner with a friend and his mother."

"A friend or your friend?"

"That's a long story...I'm going to tell you next time."

"Oh, so you plan to call me again? That's nice of you." He teased.

"I had the plan, yeah." She heard him laughing into the telephone and grinned brightly. "Talk to you soon."

"Bye sis and merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." She shut her cell, closing her eyes for a couple of moments, still leaning against the cold stonewall. She took a deep breath then opened her eyes again. This had felt so good. Talking to Ben and hearing his voice. At least Gretchen's comment had been good for one thing it had finally helped her to jump over her shadow and find the strength to call her brother.

Finally she decided to make her way back to Grissom and his mother. She left the hallway and entered the dining room slowly walking into the direction of their table, stopping when she spotted a too familiar person talking to Grissom and Gretchen.

What the hell is Catherine doing here?

TBC

wanna know what Grissom and Gretchen are talking about while Sara calls Ben? find out in the next chap : )