AN: thousand thanks to Alex for not only being the best beta reader in the world but also for helping me with great suggestions and ideas:hugz:

please note: somehow the editor always deleted the "?"in-front ofthe "/" ...I tried to fix it but it didn't work, so in case that you don't find a full-stop in one of Gretchen's senctences there is probably a question mark missing.

chapter 9

Grissom felt helpless as Sara left her seat and walked away from them. The feeling that this was all his fault wouldn't leave him, he was the one to blame for this, he should have told his mother to not ask Sara about her family. On the other hand he hadn't known if Sara would have wanted that.

Now it was too late anyways. He hesitated whether he should follow her or should stay here with his mother and give Sara the chance to calm down. He figured that Sara probably didn't want to talk now that she needed her own time to calm down. If he'd follow her she would feel as if she needed to hurry up, as if she needed to go back as soon as possible to continue their charade.

/Where's she going / Gretchen signed, a worried expression in her face.

/My guess would be the ladies bathroom./ Grissom signed and shrugged.

/Did I write something wrong? Gretchen was really worried and Grissom felt miserable that he couldn't tell his mother what was wrong but it was better for her to not know how much those questions had touched Sara's deepest, sorest secret.

/She just doesn't feel good today and the shopping stole her last power reserves./

/You should go and check if she's okay./

Grissom sighed. He wanted to check up on Sara but he knew that it wouldn't help at all. He knew Sara well enough to identify the expression in her face as her 'I need to be alone' expression. And when Sara needed to be alone then she needed to be alone. There were things that he knew Sara didn't want to share with him or wasn't ready to share with him. And this was less because she didn't trust him enough than because they had no balanced basis of mutual reliance. /Mom, she is okay./

/You do notdeserve her./ Gretchen signed angrily.

He raised an eyebrow. /What / He swallowed hard, was their lie about to leak out?

/I've been watching the two of you. The last time you kissed her was when we entered your house the other day. You did noteven touch her this morning, you did not even wish her a good morning when you woke up./

/Because you scared her away with your questions./ He realized how right his mother was. He hadn't touched Sara at all since yesterday. If they were 'oh so in love' then they wouldn't be able to take their hands off of each other.

/You didn't help her out of the car, you didn't open the doors for her, you didn't carry her shopping bags, you did not adjust her chair when she was about to take seat here, you did not take her jacket, you.../

/That's enough Mom./ he warned her, sighing inwardly, his mother was so right but at least she wasn't suspecting them to lie, only accusing him to not deserve her.

/Gil, I tell you if you are not going to show her how much you care she will leave you! Soon. And I could understand her./

/Mom, I am not the romantic kind of person and Sara always knew that. She knew the worse me, I changed in the last years Mom, thanks to Sara. She already made me a better person, she knows that I am not the emotional type and she accepts it. She loves me the way I am. And she is not one of the women who wants her chair to be adjusted, she does not want to be treated like a queen. She is an independent woman and she wants to be seen as such./

Gretchen raised an eyebrow. /It is not about treating her like a queen. You do not show her that you care for her. Gil, I know what she means to you and I am sure that she knows, too but it is not done with that./

Grissom knew that whatever he would say, no matter how good his arguments might sound in his head, his mother was right from her point of view.

He hesitated maybe he should at least pretend to follow Sara? Or maybe he better really checked up on her?

/You should show her how much you care. Take her out for dinner or better, make dinner for her, hold her hand, pull her into your arms from time to time, tell her that you love her whenever you have the chance to do so. If she is the most important person in your life, if she is your life then show it to her! She needs to know what you feel./

I need to talk with Sara about that. Oh my God, what will she say about that? He didn't even want to imagine Sara's reaction when he would tell her that they needed to have more body contact, that he had to touch and kiss her more often.

He knew he would screw this up. This was not him. He had always lived in his straight borders when it came to her, he had always done his best to not cross the line between friendship and relationship...and now he had to do exactly this. How should he ever really manage to let go off all his principles, how could he betray all the promises he had given to himself?

A familiar voice ripped him out of his thoughts. "Gil. What are you doing here?"

Catherine. What the hell? What have I done to deserve this? He cleared his throat and faked a smile. "Catherine."

Silence. Awkward silence. Grissom saw how Catherine's eyes stared at the third glass on the table and it let his heart beat faster. She would destroy it all. Catherine raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

/Don't you want to introduce us / Gretchen asked impatient.

/Sure...Mom this is Catherine Willows, I told you about her./ he cleared his throat. "Catherine this is my mother."

"Oh. It's nice to meet her."

Grissom faked another soft smile. How was he supposed to get rid of her? He glanced around the room, spotting Sara who was on her way back to the table. He prayed that Sara would spot Catherine and would stay where she was so that she and Cath wouldn't meet. He wished that he could give Sara a sign but Catherine would notice it for sure.

"So, you're having dinner?"

"Yeah. We justordered it." Oh come on Catherine why are you doing this to me? Leave...please leave.

"What did you choose?"

"The Filet of Atlantic Salmon, Pinot Noir Sauce and my mother chose the Semi Boneless Braised Quail, Chanterelles, Fava Beans, Roasted Fingerling Potatoes."

"That sounds definitely good."

He hadn't seen Gretchen writing down something on her notepad,now, when he noticed, it was already too late. Gretchen handed the notepad to Catherine, a friendly smile on her lips.

/Are you also a friend of Sara /

Catherine reached out for the pencil when Grissom stopped her. If he couldn't stop his mother from writing, he could at least follow their conversation with telling Catherine that his mother could read lips. Doing so he glanced around the dining room, trying to find Sara,without attracting Catherine's attention.

"We work together but we are not that close."

Grissom sensed what his mother's question had been and he swallowed hard by the thought of what her next questions might be. He needed to end this. Sara had already given him a sign that he needed to hurry up their meals would soon be served and three plates of food would make Catherine even more curious. "Are you alone Catherine?"

"No, having dinner with...a friend. But he's not here yet."

He saw how his mother reached out for the notebook again, a cold shower ran down his spine. /Mom could you go and look after Sara please /

/You are the one who should.../

/...do me this favor Mom, please./

Gretchen nodded, smiled softly at Catherine and left.

"Where's she going?", Catherine asked, her eyes following Gretchen.

"The bathroom."

Catherine nodded. "So, who is the third person?"

"Third person?"

And as if it wasn't bad enough the waiter showed up with their meals. He served them and left without saying anything. Even if he would have said something Grissom felt so numb he probably would have missed it.

Catherine raised an eyebrow looking down at Sara's plate. "Vegetarian."

Grissom leaned forward his elbow resting on the table, his hand supporting his forehead. His eyes were closed for a moment, he took a deep breath preparing himself to tell Catherine that he was here with Sara. He didn't know how, telling Catherine the truth would be as worse as telling her the lie.

"Well, I hope you, your mother and the mysterious person, let's call her Sara, have a nice evening."

He felt as if his heart stopped beating. She already knew it! She had seen them before! She had been walking over to them to let him know that she knew!

"Enjoy your meal."

That smile on her lips was evil. At least Grissom couldn't help but think so. After this, how should he enjoy the meal? This was almost sarcastic! "You are not going to tell anyone, are you?"

Catherine shrugged and left him. He swallowed hard, he felt horrible miserable. What if Catherine told anyone about this? And worst of all he still had to act totally natural in front of his mother. Neither he nor Sara were allowed to let her notice their stress, their nervousness...

There was one thing that he was more than sure about, never again he would make up such a lie.

TBC

thanks for reading. I know this chap was kind of dry...sorry!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far: ) I'm really glad that so many people like this fic and I can't believe how many of you took the time to review...thank you so much : )

next chapter should be on on wednesday : )