Hi, Hi, sorry I'm late. Just like Shigure in Fruits baskets, bad, bad. So I'm here now and I won't make you wait any longer. Last chapter was kind of odd, but this one should bring this part of the story to a close. Here we go!
Youko thoughts
Other voice
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It's a Secret: Chapter 16
Kuronue... Youko felt like he was floating. Everything was black. I miss you love. He thought. Little did he expect to hear an answer.
Stupid apprentice, do you really think I'd want you to kill yourself. He looked around blinking. Kuronue? The wavering image of his bat appeared then drifted away in front of him. Where are you? I'm lost without you. If you're not here among the living, I shouldn't be either!
No voice answered him though. No image appeared. And suddenly he was sinking, falling into an endless void. Drowning in eternal darkness. Help me... There was a response this time.So you want to live? Want.. no, not without you. Not all by myself. Memories of life before Kuronue flashed through his mind. A blow to the side, bones cracking, pain, and then... Kasumi! He hadn't thought about her since he started living with Kuronue. Why is that?
You were afraid to remember. Afraid? No that couldn't be it. The great Yoko Kurama fears nothing! Then another thought struck him. A name... "Stupid Youko, you're lucky we took you in." , "I'm just a slave, they never gave me a name", "Yes, your new name is Youko Kurama." A barrage of moments from his past. I don't have a real name. I'm just a slave, at heart, I'm weak.
Don't talk like that.His bat's image appeared again. It's arms surrounded him, though he could not feel what wasn't really there. Like everything he once valued, this was just an illusion. A wise fox once told me, that you have to bend the rules to get what you want. He said that as long as the identity you assumed was perceived as truth, then that made it so. Do you remember?
The truth.. as it is seen and understood. Yes... I said that once. He felt confusion, that couldn't be right. And yet, he remembered and understood it to be right. Yes, and how do others perceive you? Me... I'm the ruthless king of bandits. Seen as others as being cold and bloodthirsty. But that isn't right, that's just a facade. What about your bandits? To them, to them I am Youko, playful, flirtatious, and powerful. That seemed more accurate to him. But not quite right. It just didn't make sense to him. He scrunched his face cutely as he examined the puzzle lain out before him. And what about to me?
Kuronue... A fresh pang of sorrow and despair swept through him. The pain of knowing he was lost to Youko, possibly for all time. In Kuronue's eyes, I was just foxy boy. I was his love, and usually, Excitement rushed through him as he said this. I was his parter, his equal. New understanding hit him, Kuronue valued him as much as he was valued by Youko. If it was me, and he was back here alive... You would want me to live on. My death would hurt you even if you were no longer in the Makai. Yes. So that means, if I die, you would feel the same pain that I do now. That pain that nothing physical can monopolize. And if I did come to you in the land of the dead, then you would be sad. Instead of seeing your brilliant smile, you would look on me with sadness. Even if we were reunited, my death would sadden you. But that isn't what I want.
As he realized this, the void around him started dissolving. He felt stable once more. For me Youko, live on. The chimera's holograph dissolved with the void. For you Kuro, because I am a part of the living, I will stay here. So when we meet again, I will see you smile. Even without you, I will continue to live until the black fog of death consumes me. Then we will meet, and I will finally see your beautiful smile once more..
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Light flickered into view. He couldn't feel his limbs. Looking down at his arms and legs he saw they were heavily bandaged and quite a few were broken. Memories of what he had done came back to him. But how did he end up here? He realized he was back at camp. Someone must have found me.
There was a rustle at the tent flap. Then a surprised gasp. "Sho, come quickly, Youko's woken up!" Youko blinked his eyes, trying to get accustomed to the light. This is where I should be. Nori reentered the tent with Sho at his heels. They came over and knelt at Youko's side. When he looked at their faces, he saw immense sorrow there. He realized they must know what he had tried to do. Guilt and shame began to build in him when he realized that they too, had been worried about him.
"Youko. Why did you... how could you cause yourself so much pain? Kuronue wouldn't want that." Sho looked at him sadly. "Just because Akiko and the others are gone, doesn't mean I would want to die." His saddened tone reminded Youko that he wasn't the only one to lose somebody close.
"Sho is right you know." Nori said in a gently chastising tone. "Shizuka, my sister, do you think I felt nothing at her loss. Do you think that I should die because she did. No, and you shouldn't either. I understand that because of your mating bond, you would feel the pain more intensely than us. The severance of a connection so intimate would stun anyone." Youko watched a grimace cross Nori's face. He seemed really worn out. "But I always thought you were stronger than that. I believed and still do, that you more than any of us, has the power to overcome it." His eyes glistened. "After all, you are the legendary Youko Kurama, king of bandits."
Slowly, though it caused him much pain, Youko lifted an arm up off the bed and placed his hand gently on Nori's shoulder. That seemed to snap them back into reality. "Youko it's way to soon to move." Sho said quickly, helping him lower his arm back down to his side. "After that, you might be in bed for a long time." Both his teachers seemed relieved though, they knew he no longer intended to die.
Youko nodded and opened his mouth to speak aloud at last, but no sound came out. His eyes widened and he tried it again. Still no reaction from his voice. He looked questioningly at Sho, who nodded his head. "You used up all of your demon energy." He explained. "It's natural that you won't be able to do anything, including speaking, until you recover some of it."
He made a gesture to Nori, who then left the tent. "All will be well now, the worst is done. Just get some rest now, let us heal you." He mixed some plants together and created a green liquid. "Drink this." He pulled open the fox's mouth and poured the hot, sticky, green concoction down his throat. Then he too, left the tent. Youko felt himself growing sleepy, and soon he fell once more into the land of his dreams.
Outside, Nori had informed the other demons that Youko had awakened. Sho came out just in time to see the red vines withdraw. As they did, the barrier around their camp faded. The four demons who sustained it collapsed in exhaustion. Sho went to help restore their energy. Ah well, a kitsune's work was never done.
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And there is your chapter. I think this turned out better than thought. It was a good way to recover Youko. Now we can get back to the original story line once more. Youko will be a while in recovering, but when he does, he's going to do something interesting. Don't you just love the chapter name? Please read and review, your opinion matters. I'll try to update faster this time. Thank you for reading, this is Red Kitsune Flames, signing off.