AN: This chap is dedicated to Alex, for being the best beta reader in the world, for always helping me and encouraging me and for just being there :super hugz: and thanks for beta-ing although you actually wanted to sleep!

the fuff the fluff...

chapter 11

Her eyes followed him while he poured fresh coffee into his cup, following every little move he made. He had kissed her. She couldn't believe it. He had kissed her and it had not been a direct part of this lie. He hadn't kissed her in front of his mother, he had kissed her in the privacy of his bedroom, had kissed her although his mother wouldn't find out about it.

It had not been a part of their lie.

She had felt longing and despair in this kiss, she had felt the restrained feelings of five long years, she had felt truth in it and she wanted to feel it all again.

He had already been awake when she woke up. It had taken her a long time to finally calm down, to clear her head from the mixed feelings she had had. She had been lying awake in his bed for hours recalling the way his lips had felt on hers over and over again. And then the nervousness had been rising up in her, she had been wondering if he would even understand the meaning of her gift. If he still remembered... she had told herself that she would find out soon that she would have to face the truth soon - from this point on it had been even more difficult to sleep.

When she had entered the living room he had been sitting on the sofa, a magazine in his hands. He had smiled softly at her, had wished her a good morning and a merry Christmas and then offered her a cup of coffee which she had gratefully accepted.

She had followed him to the kitchen, leaning against the fridge with her back.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked and smiled softly while he poured coffee into her cup.

She wouldn't tell him that this kiss had been exciting her so much that she hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep for hours. Somehow she didn't want him to think that it was such a big deal for her after all. "Yeah." She took a sip of her coffee. "You?"

He nodded softly. "Mom's already up, she's in the bathroom. When she's finished you can use it and afterwards we can exchange the gifts."

A smile flashed over her lips while a cold shower ran down her spine. What will he say when he realizes what I just gave him? She told herself to stay calm, to wait and see and to let happen what happened, to accept it whatever it was.

"Sara?"

She looked up from her cup. "Yeah?"

"Is everything okay?" He asked concerned.

She swallowed hard. "Sure." She faked a smile although she knew that he would notice it. "I'm just not completely awake yet."

He sighed softly. "If there's something that you want to talk about then you...you can always come and talk to me, you know that."

She nodded feeling how blood rushed into her cheeks.

Before either of them could say more Gretchen joined them in the kitchen. Sara was more than thankful for the disruption and after a short conversation with Gretchen she headed for the bathroom.

Half an hour later it knocked on the bathroom door. Meanwhile Sara's nerves had hit rock bottom. She had tried to put on some make-up but after she had to completely remove it twice, because her eyeliner had been scattered over her whole face except for the area around her eyes, she had given up. She hated wearing make-up anyways and with shaking hands it was just impossible to get it done.

She walked over to the door and opened it.

"You look nice." Grissom smiled softly.

She smiled back at him. "Thanks."

"We were wondering how long you will need, Mom seems to be a little nervous about her present for us...she keeps asking me when you'll finally be ready."

I would have been ten times faster if I would only be a 'little' nervous. She sighed. "I'm ready." Physically, not mentally...

They took seat on the sofa, Gretchen smiled brightly at them and Sara couldn't help but smile about how excited Grissom's mother was.

"Who starts?" Sara asked Grissom.

"You." He said, winked and handed a wrapped package.

She took a deep breath, her heart was beating hard in her chest and her hands were shaking when her fingers carefully parted the sellotape from the wrapping paper. She didn't dare to look up to see the expression in Grissom's face.

She had removed the paper, a purple box appeared and she slowly opened it. "Oh my God." What she saw overwhelmed her, only once she had mentioned this in front of him and he had remembered it! She was moved to tears, her hand slowly running over the book cover.

"It's the first edition." He told her softly. "I...I knew that this was your favorite book when you were a child and when I found it in an antiques shop I just had to buy it for you."

She was speechless. Her whole body was shaking. He had remembered that? And he had thought of her when he had seen it? And he had bought it for her!

"Read the dedication." He whispered opening the book for her.

Sometimes a dying whale is just a dying whale and sometimes it's the obvious we cannot see. Until someone opens up our eyes.

Gil

That was it. Sara felt the tears running down her cheeks. She slowly turned to Grissom who immediately twined his arms around her. Their lips met in a soft kiss that sent showers of sensations through her body.

Her arms slipped around his neck and she pressed herself against his chest, as their lips loosened from each other she found her words back. "Thank you, thank you so much." She whispered into his ear planting a kiss on his cheek.

She felt his heart beating and it was running as fast as hers did. She pulled away from him her hand resting on his cheek their eyes met and they did not let go off each other for a long time. "This is the best gift I ever got." She whispered. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." He said softly and ran his hand through her hair. "I am glad that you like it."

"I love it...you can't imagine how much I love it." She wiped the tears from her cheeks and smiled at him. She took a deep breath and reached out for the gift she had for him.

Only now remembering that Gretchen had been there all the time. She had taken seat on the armchair and smiled brightly at them.

Sara smiled softly at her and then turned back to Grissom. "I...don't know if you... if you remember this but...well...just open it and..." She took a deep breath, after the gift he had given to her, after this dedication he had written for her...there was really no reason for being nervous anymore but still the feeling wouldn't leave her.

He smirked and unwrapped it revealing a picture frame made of stainless steel that was decorated with rose petals and dew drops that were scattered over the petals. In it was a drawn portrait of a young woman and a man. He stared at the picture and she stared on his hands. He was shaking. In a weird way this filled her with a mixture of happiness and excitement.

"You kept this picture?" He asked overwhelmed. He couldn't believe it, she had kept this picture! For years he had been thinking about asking her after it but he had never found the courage to do so. He remembered the day when it had been drawn. They had been walking down to Fisherman's Warf after the seminar. Sara had offered him to show him around and he had gratefully accepted her offer. When they had been walking along the promenade a man had asked them if they'd like a drawn picture of themselves. He would draw one for ten dollars. Sara hadn't been thrilled by the idea but Grissom had been amused by the fact that the guy thought that they were romantically involved so he had convinced Sara to join in the game.

A soft smile flashed over her lips. "Yeah."

"And this frame..." He looked up at her. "...where did you find this frame?"

"I asked a friend from San Francisco to find out if the shop still existed. It did but she couldn't find the frame there, so I asked her to get me the telephone number of the shop owner. I called him described the frame and he told me that they only sell single copies. On that point I thought that I would never find it but three days later he called me back and told me that he had found it in their storage. So he sent it to me and...voi là."

"I can't believe that you remembered this. I mean that's more than ten years ago. We did not even walk into that shop."

She smiled softly at him. "I have a good memory."

He dragged her face close to his and after caressing her lips with his thumb their lips met again in a passionate kiss.

She felt his hands slowly slipping over her back and her waist and she could have sworn that if Gretchen wouldn't have been there he would have slid them under her shirt. He pressed her against the back of the sofa as her arms slipped around his neck.

Their lips didn't loosen from each other for a long time. Sara had expected a short kiss like the one before but this kiss was definitely everything else but short. And she just knew that he had lost control over himself, the facade of his denial was crumbling down even if it happened under the cover of this lie. She could see it. She could feel it.

As he finally pulled away from her Sara could tell from the look in his eyes that he also knew it. She smiled softly. "I could really get used to this." She whispered softly and winked at him.

TBC

thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it : )