6. Weakness of Truth

Harry's room was separate from the Gryffindore tower, a portrait several yards from the entrance of their tower. It was a simple room with a bed to one side, a fire place on the right, stained with soot. A tattered chair and a couch that seated two was before the fireplace, the covering upon the two was a worn, green velveteen type of material. On the left side of the room was a tall wardrobe, their door carved with elaborate runes of ancient magic long faded.

Once inside the room Harry sat upon the chair heavily and stared silently into the fire. Draco remained frozen at the entrance, his back pressed against the closed portal to the outside as if ready to bolt at any second.

"Who are you?" Draco asked softly.

Harry paused, so long that Draco though he had not heard him an was about to repeat the question when Harry finally spoke.

"I'm not really sure anymore." He eyes narrowed for a second and he glanced at Draco from the corner of his eye, "Sit down," he gestured to the couch next to him, "You're making me nervous."

Draco slipped around the back of the couch and sat on the edge farthest from Harry. Harry sat back closing his eyes in exasperation, "Typical Malfoy behavior, as always. You never change do you?"
"You certainly have." Draco murmured looking at Harry warily.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to be anymore." He murmured in response, sounding as if he was almost talking to himself, "If I'm happy it's inappropriate because it's war time or it assumed that I have girlfriend, or a crush. If I'm quiet then I'm brooding and if I'm angry or sullen then everyone tries to cheer me up or is disappointed with me. It seems everyone is disappointed with me in some way or other."

Draco sniffed, "No reason to do…this. This whole scheme of yours is just stupid, just as infantile as what you sought to escape not to mention leading to your death. You should quit trying to be what people want you to be and just be yourself."

"Of all people to be lectured by." Harry laughed for a second before it faded off and he sank even farther back in the chair a look so forlorn Draco almost thought he was about to cry, "Yes, I should just be myself…tell them that I'm gay, that I don't want to kill anyone, even Voldemort. Tell them that…I don't want to be a hero…"

Draco froze, "You're gay?! It's not just an act? Then all that was and when you…." He shuddered, but was unable to make himself move.

Harry shook his head violently and stood up walking to the far side of the fireplace away from Draco, "I'm not the only one," He looked pointedly at Draco from the corner of his eye, "I'm just not in denial."

Draco shot up, stepping back several steps, when he hit the wall at his back he jumped and his breathing hitched for a second, "Me a fag?! You've got to be joking me, Potter."

Harry snorted a small smile ironic smile slipping onto his face, "You may say that but your body doesn't lie, Malfoy."

"What the hell are you talking about, Potter?! You've lost your mind."

"The train, Draco." Harry murmured, "remember what happened on the train."

Draco froze as the memory of the hours before assaulted his memory, He gasped as Harry's hands left his face and slipped under his shirt, running his fingers up his chest. Draco refused to open his eyes, biting his lip to keep from emitting any noises that let would Harry know how aroused he was becoming from his touch.

Harry bit Draco's neck gently as his fingers methodically unbuttoned the other boy's shirt. Draco's shirt fell open and Harry's hand fell down to slip along the skin around his pants, he could hear the other boy's harsh breathing escalate in his ear as much as he tried to suppress it…

"What do you want from me? Do you want to call off the deal?" Draco said slowly, trying to appear as impassive as possible to hide the panic within.

Harry pulled his hand through his hair, pulling on it in frustration, "I'm not trying to blackmail you, Draco. I don't want anything from you, well that's not true… I just don't undrstand how we always end up fighting one another," He let his hand fall from his hair and leaned forward against the fireplace mantle, "…We have so much in common…" His murmurs once again seemed to be directed towards himself, as if Draco wasn't even in the room, "We're both from unloving families, grew up alone and isolated from the world outside. Both beaten into the submission our caretakers required of us, and forced to hide our true feelings…forced to hid our sexuality because of the consequences that would result from it because it is not what was planned for us, expected of us. Bereft of any true friends…forced to take the side expected of us in this upcoming war…"

"What about the other two musketeers, they're your friends." Draco said in the hanging silence Harry left as his words drifted off; desperate to say something, to hide how true Harry's words were and how much that disturbed him.

"I said true friends, friends you can share everything with, friends that feel like family. Ron and Hermione they're friends, yes, but not real friends. I remember when I tried to tell them that I was gay...they thought I was joking, laughed at me. When I told them my true feelings about this stupid 'war', they thought I was sick and took me to the hospital wing. I don't tell them a lot of things now because anything I tell them, meant for their ears only, they take to Dumbledore."

Draco found himself nodding in agreement with what Harry said and forced himself to still, "I imagine they're just looking out for your best interests like the good little lapdogs they are."

"Yes, regardless of what I want, I should be free to make my own mistakes…not have my entire life orchestrated for me, at least until I kill Voldemort then they can cast me to the gutter." He laughed bitterly.

Draco shivered silently when Harry said the dark lords name. The shiver caused not by the name but the way in which he said it, Draco had never heard someone say something with such venom and seething hatred.

Harry pushed himself up and stretched slowly before turning to face Draco, "I have, a counter proposition for you, Malfoy…Let's say we just be friends and forget the other agreement."

" 'True friends', I suppose." He snipped acidly at the stupid phrase.

Harry laughed weakly, ducking head slightly and tugging at his hair in embarrassment, "Yes, I suppose."

Draco was acutely aware of how endearing Harry appeared then and forced the thought down, gluing a cold, indifferent look upon his face, "Unless you're going join our side in the war, which I very much doubt, then it's not even a possibility. I'm certainly not joining Dumbledore's little muggle loving club."

Harry sighed, "It's always about sides and allegiances isn't it?" he rubbed his temples in exasperation, "This isn't about sides, Malfoy. This is about throwing both sides and all their stupid ideals and world orders and just taking a step back to, as you said before, be ourselves, not what the world expects of us."

"I can't." he replied smoothly.

Harry shook his head as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Why not? What does your father offer? A life of not being good enough, of marrying into a prestigious wizard family and carrying on the Malfoy blood line. What does Voldemort offer you? A place at his side but always beneath him, always at risk of either being captured or killed in battle, killed by Voldemort himself. Regardless of how strong Voldemort is he is going to lose, not because Dumbledore's cause is more just or destiny proclaims it so or there are better wizards on the side of 'light' but because he's outnumbered. The entire world stands between Voldemort and his little group of blanket wearing followers, eventually his groups numbers will dwindle and he will be overwhelmed." He paused and looked at Draco, locking eyes with him, "You're just afraid to let go because outside of the cocoon you've plastered around yourself you have no one. You would give up everything you are, everything you dream of being because you fear being alone."

"I-I need to think…" Draco said trying to pull himself and his thoughts together.

Harry turned away from Draco as if unable to look at him anymore, "What you need is a bath," He pointed at the door across from the hearth, "You're getting pumpkin residue all over."

"What?!…" Draco blurted thrown off by the sudden change in topic and realizing belatedly that he was still covered in the sticky pumpkin juice from earlier.

"Just go." Harry muttered and Draco complied numbly, slipping into the bath and closing the door behind him.