Title: Failure
Author: moonfairyhime
Rating: K plus, minor swearing
Disclaimer: I don't own the lovely Winchester boys.
Summary: Sam finally tells Dean the secret he kept from him for so long.
Feedback: I'd really appreciate it.
A/N: This sort of follows along the same idea as What Big Brothers are Supposed to Do, but this fic can be read by itself. Spoilers for 1x05 "Bloody Mary". Thank you to gravigirl123 for beta-ing for me.
The first time Sam told Dean about his premonitions, Dean laughed at Sam. Sam had been six at the time and Dean was only ten and the idea that his baby brother could see the future was so ridiculous that Dean laughed until he cried. He then thanked Sam for the laugh and ran off to meet Dad for hunting practice. Sam walked behind Dean, his entire posture screaming defeat.
It took weeks for Sam to confide in Dean again, and even after that, Sam never again told Dean about the visions he received in his sleep. Dad had praised Sam when he showed up at the right moment to kill the monster of the month, claiming his baby boy was a natural at hunting. Dean noticed the too old and world weary look in Sam's eyes and the twitch that shook his body at the statement, but he didn't comment on it. After that, Dean convinced their dad to leave Sam at a neighbor's house for a while so he could rest from all the hunting. Dean figured his baby brother needed time off.
When Sam was twenty-two, he decided to try again. It was the middle of the night, not a soul around them, and Sam swore that they were on the road to nowhere.
"Dean, remember after that Bloody Mary incident, I wouldn't tell you my secret?" Sam's voice was a bit uncertain and tired sounding.
Dean glanced at his baby brother. "What about it Sammy?"
Sam raked his fingers through his hair. "Remember when we were little and I told you about a dream that I said came true?"
Dean nodded, vaguely remembering what Sam was describing, but not quite following the non-sequitur.
"For days before Jessica died, I kept having the same dream about her dying. Everything played out exactly as it did the night she died."
Dean pulled off to the side of the road so fast that Sam was glad that no one was around. It'd be one hell of a wreck.
Dean turned off the car and turned to his brother. "Sammy, what are you telling me?"
Sam looked out the window. "I get premonitions, Dean. I got them when I was younger…"
"Sammy, that was only a one time thing! You can't call a one time thing 'premonitions'."
Sam shook his head, his voice bitter. "No, it wasn't. I only told you about it once because you laughed at me. My premonitions are random. Some of my premonitions involve people I will never meet, and trust me when I say I'm sure that I will never meet them."
"And that's what you were hiding from me during the Bloody Mary hunt? There's nothing else you're hiding? No children running around? No Swiss bank accounts?"
Sam rolled his eyes. "No, Dean, that's all."
Dean's eyes grew wide. "That's all? Sam, you have premonitions! No wonder you can never sleep. Do you get them every night?"
"No. When I was thirteen, I had a blissful month of absolutely no premonitions. When I was seventeen, I had a month were every time I closed my eyes I had a premonition."
"How come I don't remember that?"
"You and Dad were out hunting and I wanted to finish my senior year of high school in peace. You left me with a neighbor."
"And you don't know if you're going to get a premonition until you fall asleep?"
Sam shook his head, not quite following Dean's train of thought.
"Then go to sleep, Sammy. If you even start to look distressed, I'll wake you up. Promise."
Sam opened his mouth to protest, got a good look at Dean's face, and smiled softly. He closed his eyes. "Thanks, Dean."
Dean waited until Sam's breath became even before he smacked the steering wheel of his car. He immediately apologized profusely to the car before sighing. Dammit! He was supposed to be Sam's big brother, able to protect him from everything. But how was he supposed to protect Sam from his own mind? Dean turned to face Sam, glad to see he was still sleeping. He sighed, hoped someone was looking out for Sam because he deserved better than this, and then started the car. Dean figured the only thing he could do was what he already did: take it one day at a time and protect his baby brother at all costs.