Chapter 8: Perverted Old Man

The old man sat in the barren wasteland. The sky was black and filled with stars, and right here, watching the beautiful view, he could almost escape his present reality. Almost forget that he had lived in this desert for 10,000 years. Almost forget that his entire Civilization had been destroyed. Almost, but not quite.

Off in the distance he spied a bright light slowly fall down to the surface. With a loud yawn and a deafening creak in his bones, he stood up. It had been a long time since he'd had visitors.

Gilder and company landed on the Silver moon staring in awe at the landscape. Nothing grew, nothing broke the uniform color. The only thing changing the panorama was the full Arcadia above, and the Yellow, Green, and Red moons to the East, West, and North.

The five friends stood outside in the cold, dry air. Technically, four stood, while Vyse lounged in a Cupil-hammock.

"Okay Fina. Where is this crystal?"

"First we must find the Elder. There must be some way to contact him."

"Why don't we try to signal him with magic?" suggested Aika.

"All right. Moons, give me strength!" Enrique launched a pyrum spell up at the sky. Before it had left his hands, though, it transformed into an Eternum spell that rocketed straight to Arcadia and impaled a Marocca. The Hamachou hermit instantly became aware of this and added a tally mark. "34,456." he grumbled.

"That was strange. I was sure I cast a fire spell. Maybe yellow will work better. Moons, give me strength!" Enrique launched an electres spell into The air, which immediately became an eternes spell and killed 36 Throkkyns and 2 Loopers. "34, 494." mumbled The Hamachou hermit.

"I see, The silver moon only allows its own magic here. Everything we cast will be transformed into silver. This means we're limited to death and revival spells."

"What about curia?"

"That's unimportant if we can't be exhausted, poisoned, silenced, weakened, or turned to stone."

"Oh yeah."

"Heh-heh. I guess you've met my land's magic mastery!"

The friends whirled around to see an old man, chuckling to himself.

He had thin arms and legs, a white beard and a bald head. He wore large purple sunglasses, a loud orange Hawaiian shirt, lime green shorts, and wood sandals. Strapped to his back was a giant green turtle shell.

'Who are you?"

"heh. I'm Elder Roshi, of The Silver Civilization."

"I'm Captain Gilder of the Claudia, and this is Captain Vyse of the Albatross, Fina, Last of The Silvites, Emperor Enrique of Valua, and . . . Aika of the missing title."

"I'm very pleased to meet you. I haven't spoken to anyone else in 10,000 years."

Fina interrupted here because The man was about to give a detailed description of all 3,650,000 days he had been on the moon.

"Elder, we are here for the Silver Moon Crystal. The black gigas Darknoth is destroying Arcadia, and only Zelos can stop it. Since we are the last two Silvites, and we don't really want to die, we need to use the spare moon crystal."

"You guys are nice. I haven't had any visitors in such a long time. But I need to earn my pay. Three gold a day is pretty nice after 10,000 years. I cannot let you have it."

"Please, we'll give you anything in our power to give."

The man gave a wide, toothy grin that was completely devoid of innocence. There was a certain emotion on his face, but no one could place it.

"There's one thing. I'll give you the crystal as long as you agree to my terms."

"Of course," called out Vyse. "What's your price?"

"These two attractive young women have to agree first."

"um . . . Okay." "Fine."

"Alright. You two have to remove your clothing for the next two hours. Also, you cannot leave for the next two hours. That's the deal, I'll take nothing less."

Both girls turned bright red. Fina covered her face with her hands and her eyes went wide. Aika became incredibly irate . . .

"WHAT? You perverted old man! How dare you?"

"I get a little lonely out here. Besides, you don't have a choice."

He snapped his fingers and a huge eternum spell destroyed the Delphinus completely.

"I have complete control over magic on this moon. I can create and destroy at will. Except for women. They never come out right . . . but as you can see, you won't be leaving here without my cooperation."

He snapped his fingers again, and the Delphinus reappeared, perfectly shipshape.

"We need some time to talk about it . . ."

"By all means."

The four mobile members circled around Vyse, who spoke first.

"Well, we're not going to be able to leave. I hate to say this, but . . ."

"NO! We can't let this horny old man do this!"

"Aika . . . we have to."

"Fina! What are you talking about?"

"We need this moon crystal. Our modesty is a small price to pay to save the world."

"Sigh . . . fine. But if lays one finger on me, I go Omega Psyclone on his ass, got it?"

"I'm glad you two agree to do this. I have an idea . . ." whispered Gilder.

Several minutes later, Enrique returned from the ship with two trunks from Gilder's quarters. Roshi destroyed the ship again, and Gilder went over with Aika and Fina to tell them what to do with the strange materials in his trunks . . .

Fina and Aika soon reappeared from behind the crater where they were getting ready. They came out to Roshi's position and started to dance. Cupil transformed into a Cupil-Music-Player and accompanied the two. However, the dance started to remove itself from the standards . . .

The first things to come off were the shoes. Several bars later they removed their skirts. Roshi was turning redder and redder, and his head was sticking forward as far as it would go. When the two started to remove their inner layers, however, he went berserk, calling out and howling. When they were down to their underclothes, the man lapsed into a coma in shock.

Gilder, laughing, came over to the girls and gave them a big hug.

"Good job you two. And see, you didn't even have to get naked."

"Yeah, mind getting off us so we can get dressed?"

"Oh yeah. Hmm . . . alright fine."

The two girls grabbed their clothes and returned to the crater to redress.

"Gilder, how did you know your plan would work?"

"Well, I've been to a lot of strip clubs. Every time an old man comes in, he always becomes unconscious before the girls get naked. I figured that as long as the girls took off their clothes slowly, they would overwhelm him. Plus, the underwear is a special model that is 90 more likely to create desire. I save it for when I have 'guests.' Now all we have to do is wait two hours, wake up Roshi, and convince him that the girls were naked the whole time."

"Gilder, you're a genius!"

"Yeah, I know." he said with a big smile.

Two hours later, the man woke up.

"Okay, Roshi. It's been two hours. The girls were quite beautiful naked, weren't they?"

"What? Oh yeah, yeah they were. Especially the brunette."

"Uh . . . right. She's not here right now. You mind giving us back our ship, and the crystal now?"

"Yeah, a deal's a deal. Thanks for stopping by!" He gave them the Crystal and restored the ship. The friends returned to the ship and took off, leaving the horny man and his strange moon far behind.