It was cold, so cold. He opened his eyes and stood up, white stuff falling from his sides. (Not that white stuff perverts.) He shuddered and looked around, a lot of white stuff and it looked like clouds. Could this be heaven? He thought this and heard a lot of people say it was like this, they didn't mention that it was going to be cold or anything. He looked to left and right and seen a mountain. He started to climb up the hillside to get to the top so he could see a better view. He got to the top and seen a body of water along with a batch of penguins. He didn't know penguins and humans shared the same heaven. He went down the hill and towards the penguins, the penguins eyed him and then they flapped their wings and flew away. Now, he couldn't put his finger on it, but while he watched them fly away something wasn't right…He felt a hand tap his shoulder and jumped. He turned around to see a rather small person and heavily clothed. Wesker cocked a brow.

"Hey are you god?"

The Eskimo just stared at him and shook his head.

"Oh, can you speak?"

"Yes"

"Who are you?"

"Edward, who are you?"

"Wesker"

The Eskimo pulled down its hood and revealed his TRUE SELF. Wesker's face went blue. The Eskimo has one of the ugliest faces Wesker done ever seen; sadly Wesker has never looked into a mirror. Wesker then burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Noothing"

Wesker then giggled like a little school girl. The pig faced Edward shook his head and walked away.

"Hey wait!"

Edward stopped and turned around.

"What?"

"I have no place to stay, may I come with you?"

Edward thought

"Sure, come on"

Wesker followed happily.

Meanwhile

The soldier continued to flap his ears, magically flying out of the boss's room. He wondered why the boss wanted to get rid of Wesker so bad. Wesker seemed like an idiot, at least to him. The soldier then instantly died from not looking straight and hitting a ceiling fan. The soldiers below him had a fiesta and ate his remaining body parts, sombrero hats and Macarena for everyone. A DJ stand appeared on the stage and one of the soldiers ripped on it while blood and gut bits fell upon everyone, another soldier jumped on another and started to gnaw on his head, pulling out his skull and digging his hands into his brain, pulling bits out and chewing into it. Others jumped onto him and started to feed on him. The boss looked through the window, looking at all of this, such idiots it thought to itself. Soon enough the soldiers started to have a massive orgy with blood and sperm and doo-doo. The boss sat back in its chair and looked through the window outside, grinning as the sun set.

( Yes I realized that was pointless, or was it? Stay tuned don't miss it )

Back to Wesker

Edward stopped and reached into his pocket, taking out a remote with an antenna and one large red button.

"Ooooo, I WANT TO PRESS IT" Said Wesker eagerly

Edward just looked at him, snow falling down and wind blowing in his hair all anime-esque.

"No" Edward said coldly

"Why not?"

"Cause you might break it"

"No I won't!"

He sighed and handed it to him. Wesker took it and jumped up and down a bit like a widdle school girl. He pressed the button and his finger went right through the remote and it crumbled in his hands, falling into pieces into the snow. Edward grit his teeth and pulled out a bit of his hair and screamed at the top of his lungs. He panted and looked at Wesker with a twitchy eye. Wesker tilted his head as a cracking sound came into place, little did they know that there were right below a hill, piled with snow. Edward clenched his teeth together and a crack ran onto his two front teeth. The snow started to fall down real fast; thankfully the place they were standing on was steep. Edward pressed a button on his batman utility belt and a sled appeared out of nowhere. Wesker and Edward hopped on it and so did Alphonse. Ed and Wesker turned around looking at the metal child.

"What?" said Alphonse

Ed pushed the metal dude off and pushed down the hill. The snow came up behind them fast; Ed used his l33t steering skills to dodge trees, snowmen and other things. They hit a penguin and it exploded, feathers flying everywhere. Edward squinted his eyes and gasped, they were heading straight for a cliff. Wesker covered his eyes and they went over the cliff, it was a pretty long way down and they fell. The sled went right above their heads as they fell, Wesker looked down, his glasses flying off his head. He started to do cartwheels and stuff. Edward looked to him and did a back flip, Wesker growled and did a 360 front flip. Edward did a. Then they finally landed into the snow, thankfully it was deep. Wesker hopped out his hole and helped Ed out of his.

"Hey can you get me back to earth? I have some unfinished business to attend to" Said Wesker, cracking his knuckles trying to be cool.

"This isn't heaven, this is the North Pole"

Ed pointed to a pole with stripes. Wesker walked over to it with him.

"If you sit here long enough you'll do a 360" Said Ed taking a seat.

Wesker took a seat next to him and waited.

6 months later

Wesker noticed he did move a bit.

6 more months later

"My butt is cold" Wesker said

Ed stood up and wiped the snow off his arse. He then whistled loudly and something started to rise in the snow, it was quite large too. Wesker had a hard time standing on his feet and fell down. He looked up as the snow went off the figure; it was a blue whale, quite large actually. He stood up and looked at it in awe.

"This is my transportation around the world, you can use it to go to wherever you want, just make sure you bring it back" Ed said with a nod, taking a bite out of his jerky.

Wesker nodded and climbed onto the whale, settling atop its head. Then it started to rise into the air magically and flew to wherever Wesker wanted. He looked down and waved to Ed. Ed did the same and waited for him to get out of his view.

"Peace at last" Ed then sat down and tried to find two snowflakes that are exactly alike.