Smile, a naruto fanfic

Smile
A Vignette

Disclaimer: Naruto and all canon characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi.

All I ever wanted was to see your smile. All I ever saw were your tears.

I know…I know that father thinks that I'm a failure and that the rest of the clan thinks that I'll never amount to anything…so I'll try, just this once, not to be so. I may never tell you these things out loud, but…but know that I will always carry them in my heart, so…so listen…please.

Our lives have always been full of hardships…yours even more so than mine. When I was younger, I remember hearing someone scream. There was such pain…such sadness…I felt like crying alongside them.

I asked father who that scream belonged to, but he would not tell me. Did it belong to you, Neji-nii-san? Is it because of the mark on your forehead that cages you? You're not alone. My cage isn't physical like yours is. I'm bound to my destiny, my fate, as you would say, to be the reluctant heiress of the Hyuuga Clan, just as you are bound always to serve the main family. I know it must make me sound so selfish…but I believe that it's impossible for a person to be completely selfless.

You told me that people can never change, but even as a child, I always wanted to please others…to have them think that I am, ultimately, of some worth. Our clan needs a strong leader...someone like my sister, Hanabi, who is both aggressive and ambitious…while I am neither. I think that that secret wish of mine was to be able to match up to her strength and natural talent. That is why I chose to become a shinobi. I wanted to change myself...not just change, but change for the better.

I've watched you for a long time, Neji-nii-san. I've watched you grow up, losing your childhood in the process, changing…yet not changing. It's a difficult and terrible struggle, but you've always born it with your head up high. I wish I had your kind of courage, but at the same time, I'm glad that I don't.

Because you've been focusing on becoming stronger and stronger…you've become cold and…distant. You didn't used to be this way. I remember distinctly on my third birthday, one of the only early memories that I still possess, that you gazed at the world through warm, curious eyes. You thought that it was beautiful then, didn't you? You even smiled at me before being drawn to the side by your father…my uncle.

You loved him a lot, didn't you? I wish… I wish I had that kind of relationship with my father, but instead of the powerful heir he expected…he received a weak daughter like me, who had neither the willpower nor the strength to lead an entire clan. Perhaps…if fate had been kinder to you, Oji-san might have been born first and this would never have happened. Maybe then, you would have been the heir to our clan…instead of…me. Maybe then…maybe you would think the world beautiful again.

…I am being foolish again. Wishes like that can't come true…won't come true.

I can see that wall that you've built around you…and I don't need the Byakugan at all, because just as you read my face when we faced each other in the Chuunin exams, I've read your heart…and I've seen the bloody handprint that lays upon it…a remnant of all you've been through. And yet it still stays whole.

My heart is different…torn in two. I've heard that you are fighting Naruto-kun in the Chuunin exam finals. I want you to win…want you to be happy and to become strong…but I want Naruto-kun to win too…because deep down, he is just like me. I don't know if my decision is right…but I've decided that I will cheer for you both. Something deep inside tells me that it is the right thing to do. I don't want either of you to lose...but there can't be two winners. That's...that's not the way the world works.

I don't want you to have to be alone anymore. It's a terrible thing to rely…and to trust only yourself. That's why I've always sought companionship. I didn't want to be alone anymore… Kiba-kun, Shino-kun, and Kurenai-sensei have helped me to change and become a better person. With them...I am home.

Lately, I've decided that I will help you in my own way. I'll start by smiling for you because you can't. Not yet.

But maybe…one day…you will.

I may never tell you these things out loud, but…but know that I will always carry them in my heart, so…so listen…please.

Fin

T'was contemplating Neji and Hinata's relationship and I wanted to write something that didn't involve incest. So I did. I hope it was satisfactory.

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