It's my birthday, so I'm posting today! Won't do for the next to weeks because I'll be on holiday... so Happy Christmas, everyone!!!

I couldn't really think of a better name for this chapter, so I got one that related to it the most.

And Silmarien... rest assured that I' won't stop writing until I'mdone. :)

Chapter 5- Time to Face the Facts:

James woke up with a start; he was lying alone in bed. Lily had wrapped a blanket around him and removed his glasses. He smiled and looked around for her, expecting so see her sitting in her armchair, waiting for him to wake up... but she wasn't there. Feeling slightly agitated, he got up, put on his glasses and went downstairs to look for her.

She was lying on the couch; fast asleep with her head on top of a small leather covered book. James sighed in relief and bent over to kiss her on the cheek. Then, thinking that it would be better to take her to bed, James decided to wake her.

"Lil," he muttered softly tucking her hair behind her ear "wake-up, you'd better go upstairs."

Lily sighed softly and grinned, she then moved her head upwards and opened her eyes to stare at him. "You know," she muttered in his ear "When we were just married you used to carry me to bed when I dozed off in the couch."

James smiled "Yeah, but that was back when I was nice-"

"-And strong"

James frowned "Are you saying I'm no longer capable of carrying you?"

"Ah now, Merlin knows what all the lack of Quidditch practice has done to you" she smirked "Don't worry, I still love you."

James advanced toward her so fast that it startled her for a minute, she tried to move away, but it was clear that the lack of quidditch practice had done nothing to James' instincts, he was far too fast for her and had her securely in his arms before she could get away.

"James, don't" she said uncomfortably "I was only kidding! You are going to get us both hurt."

But he paid no heed to her, with a huge amount of effort he had scooped her off the couch, his knees buckling under her weight. He barely managed three steps before leaning on the wall to catch breath. Lily giggled and took advantage of his moment of weakness to free herself.

"You really are an idiot!" She said playfully.

James didn't answer; he simply leaned against the wall, panting. His hands clutching a spot where he had retained a particularly bad wound, token of their last encounter with Voldemort. Lily suddenly felt concerned.

"James? What is it?" He didn't answer. "Are you alright?" she moved closer to him to get a look, as she did he sprang out at her, laughing.

"Who's the idiot now?" he chortled. Lily moved over shaking her head.

"You are four!" she said, smiling.

James surveyed her for a moment, her light skin, her beautiful green eyes, her slim, delicate figure. It had been such a long time since they had been able to be free teenagers, without much worry. He was grateful, of course, grateful that they were still able to talk and laugh unhindered, despite all that they had gone through.

"Let's go out!" he said, before he could stop himself. Lily looked slightly taken aback.

"What?" she whispered.

"Let's go out!" He repeated firmly, "Just you and me, like we used to when we were dating."

Lily considered him for a moment, her expression difficult to read.

"James, honey, we can't go out!" she said finally "Dumbledore said-"

"Who cares what he said, he can't keep us locked in here just because he's becoming paranoid"

Lily frowned "You are not being fair!"

"Of course I'm being fair! I want to go out with my wife and help her clear her head"

Lily laughed bitterly "I'm not the one who needs to clear my head." Her voice shook slightly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know perfectly well what I mean, James." She looked him straight in the eye.

"Sorry, 'fraid I don't Lil, you're going to have to fill me in on this one" He frowned, as if daring her to say what was on her mind. Lily ignored his expression, she knew him far too well to think he'd go very far with a fight anyway.

"I mean, James, that you have been far too stressed out lately! I can barely talk to you! You don't sleep and you refuse to talk about what is happening! It's like you are ignoring it! It's like you just want to wave aside what is happening! And now you come to me and say that you want to go out? Are you forgetting the situation? I never expected this from you!" She took a deep steadying breath, and when she looked at him again, her eyes were oddly bright "I know you don't want this to be happening, but it is. And you have to face it, because I can't do it alone!"

James stared at her for a moment, the little colour in his face had disappeared completely "How can you say I don't face it, Lily? What do you want me to do? Lock myself in the house with you so that we can wallow in our own misery and" he gestured toward her "Fight! Of course we're going to end up fighting, stuck in here waiting for the worse to happen. I am not going to let Voldemort disrupt..."

"Oh my God!" Lily cut in, turning away and running her fingers frantically through her hair "This isn't about doing what he wants James. You. Can't. Beat. Him. Face it, James! He's after you, and this isn't about what will make him happy, this is about what is safer, what is better. Now pull yourself together, let go of your pride and look around!"

He was lost for words. Her expression softened immediately and she moved closer, getting ready to calm him, he moved away looking absolutely crestfallen.

"I am not going to lose my sanity because of this." He said flatly, turning from her and walking silently from the room. She heard him slam the front door shut.

Lily sat in the couch and waited for him to return. She knew that James was far too energetic to be kept locked up in the house. Even as she sat alone, growing increasingly worried about his whereabouts, she somehow knew that he was safe, and that he was close. She may have gone too far with her words. She knew that James would protect her to his death, but she'd rather he didn't have to; stubborn or not, wherever he was, he was thinking very carefully about what she had said. But most importantly, Lily was contemplating on her own words. She had told him to accept the fact that he couldn't beat Voldemort, she knew James would never do that, and she felt a sudden guilt for asking him to. James would know what went through her mind as much as she knew what went through his, and it was his knowledge about her fears of what would happen if he ever faced Voldemort alone that had prevented him from properly replying to what she had said. James couldn't beat Voldemort, but he would die trying, if that was what it would take for him to get somewhere. And once again Lily found that she had hoped he would assure her that he wouldn't, that he would step back and save his own skin, she had hoped for something that was not James.

She clutched at her belly, she thought for a moment that she had felt a slight pain on her sides, but it was gone before she could think much of it. Even so, she could feel that the baby would be arriving shortly and the pits of her stomach filled with mingled anxiety and excitement.

At that moment there was a loud noise from the hall. As fast as she could, Lily had bolted to her feet and grabbed her wand. But it was only James, who stumbled into the living room looking a little annoyed. He glanced at her wand and shook his head.

"I'm sorry if I startled you," he said gently, reaching out and lowering her wand hand. "I tripped on that damn coffee table on my way in. But you don't have to worry, I wasn't far, I wouldn't leave you here alone."

Lily nodded staring fixedly at James, who blushed and looked down at his feet shifting uncomfortably. She was forcefully reminded of the first time he'd asked her out.

"I'm er- well, I'm also sorry I got so mad, I'm just-"

"It's alright," Lily said "It's ok, James, just forget it. We'll work it out."

James looked doubtful "I think we should talk." He said "because if we don't talk we won't settle this, and it'll come up again."

"It's just an argument James, it happens"

"I know it does" James said, slightly impatiently "I just want to avoid them!"

"We'll avoid them then," said Lily, and she gave a sigh and placed a hand on her forehead "I'm sorry, I don't feel-"

But Lily didn't finish the sentence. She gave a gasp of pain and collapsed. James caught her, stunned, before she fell, "Lily! Lily what's wrong!" She didn't speak, only shook her head, a painful expression on her face. Reality suddenly hit James like lightening: The baby was coming! As quickly as he could, James helped Lily onto the couch and dashed upstairs to grab their things and escort her to St Mungo's.

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