Kit: HELLO READERS! I have come with thy update! And with bad news. This Friday I'm having oral surgery, and the next Monday, school starts again. Damn. But there is good news! This is the celebration chapter! This story now has over 1200 hits! WOOHOO! And last night, I saw a REAL 'Know Your Stars' segment, and am going to base this one off of it. Today's victim: Ray Kon! Thanks to all who sent those suggestions, I'll be using them in later chapters. This time, I'm putting in some SELF torture, as Kit, by trapping myself in a closet with (gulp) Enrique, whose biggest fan I am not…this will not go well…
(Don't own it, or the 'trapped in a closet' bit)
Discern Your Actors!
a.k.a.
Know Your Stars!
Chapter 8
Ray Kon
(Ray is sitting on the chair)
"Know your stars; know your stars; Know Your Stars…" The narrator says in a round.
"Ray Kon…Is getting very sleepy…"
"I'm what? I'm not tired; I took my nap before I came to the studio!" He replies, following the last part up with a BIG smile.
"Ray Kon…His eyelids are getting heavier by the minute…"
"Sir, if you're trying to hypnotize me, it's not working. That only works on morons."
"Ray Kon…In three seconds, he'll do whatever I say…"
"No I won't!"
"1…2…"
"This is ridicules-"
"3…"
Ray suddenly falls unconscious in the chair.
(Backstage)
"Wow, it ACTUALLY worked." Oliver says to no one in particular.
"Who would have thought?" Brooklyn answers.
(Onstage)
"Ray Kon…Act like a Chicken!"
Ray's head shoots up as he begins to cluck and peck the ground. "SQUACK!" He screams.
"Ray Kon…Dance!"
While still continuing his clucking spree, Ray begins to breakdance on the floor. So in other words, he thinks he's a breakdancing chicken. Use your imagination…
"Ray Kon…Act like Evil Brooklyn!"
Ray, the breakdancing chicken, now begins to laugh maniacally between clucks; now making him Ray, the sadistic, breakdancing chicken…
(Backstage)
All backstage personnel laughing too hard to respond at moment (except Brookie, he's just pissed). Please check back later. (A/N: The next scene is just for those Ray fan girls! Enjoy! XD!)
(Onstage)
"Ray Kon…DROP YOUR PANTS!"
Ray obeys, and drops his pants to reveal his black boxers, still continuing the previous three commands. (Me: Look everyone! It's Ray, the sadistic, pantless, breakdancing chicken! CALL THE MEDIA!)
Most of those backstage either continue laughing, but a few stop and look disgusted. Take your pick.
(Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away…actually, it's the other side of the studio, but who cares?)
"ENRIQUE! Wait up!" A red head screams at a blonde boy walking in the hall. He stops and turns to her.
"Yes, Kit? Have you finally decided to go on that date I asked you on?" He smiles sweetly. Kit looks like she's gonna puke.
"Uh…no. And that will ALWAYS be…no. I need to talk to you about Johnny. I just got a call from the insane asylum, and, umm…" She looks around nervously.
"Yes…?" Enrique, "What about him?"
"He escaped."
"WHAT?"
"That's what I said too. They've got an APB in five states out for him, 23 arrest warrants, the army, the navy, as well as a warning to the chess community, owners of any power tool of any type to be on their guard, and a small community in Maine is on the lookout.
"…a small community in Maine?"
"It's a LOOONNNNGGGG story. But I suspect he'll strike back HERE first for revenge, though."
"Then we had best warn the others…"
RATTLE, RATTLE
"Did you hear something?" Kit asks.
"I did…"
RATTLE, RATTLE (evil laughter comes from inside a broom closet)
"You don't think…"
"I do." Enrique says, unsheathing his sword (which just magically appeared on his belt).
Kit nods and does the same. The two approach the closet and burst in, surprising the innocent…
…cleaning equipment. A tape recorder is on a small table, the sounds of rattling and laughter playing on it. The youth sigh, lower their weapons, and walk over to the tape recorder. Kit shuts it off.
"What's THIS doing he-" she begins, but is cut off by the door slamming shut behind them, followed by the click of the lock. The two spin around to see someone on the other side of the glass window.
"JOHNNY! LET US OUT!" They scream at him. Johnny just laughs evilly and runs away. Kit and Enrique look at each other, run over, and begin to pound on the door.
"HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPP!"
(Onstage)
By this time, the voice has given Ray several unorthodox commands, so now he was Ray, the pantless, fire-pin-juggling, piano-playing, river dancing, breakdancing (how he did the two at the same time is beyond me), horse riding, sadistic chicken. Once again, use your imagination…
"I love causing pain…" The narrator says in a sing-song voice.
(Backstage)
See previous backstage commentary.
(Onstage)
"Ray Kon…WAKE UP!"
Ray immediately comes to. "Wha, where am I?" he says in a dazed voice "Why is the floor scratched up and burnt? WHY ARE MY PANTS AROUND MY ANKLES?"
"Now you know…Ray Kon, the pantless, fire-pin-juggling, piano-playing, river dancing, breakdancing, sadistic chicken…"
"I'm a what?"
(Backstage)
"Hey, has anyone seen Kit?"
Kit: WILL we ever get out of the broom closet? WHO will get help? WHAT are we going to tell Ray? WHEN will Johnny be captured? WHERE has my sanity gone to? Most of these questions will be answered, nextime on Discern Your Actors!
Kai: Someone's had too much hot coco…
Kit: Nope! I GOT MY HAIR STRAIGHTENED! It's temp, though. I LOVE IT SO MUCH THAT I'M HYPER! WOO!
Kai: Review and save us from (looks at Kit) that THING…
Kit: BOTHER!
Are and Are