Kit: What up yall? This is the Raul chappie, which was GOING to be right after the Julia chappie, but I was being retarded and posted the Zomb one first. But here's a question: WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO OBSESSED WITH THE BACKSTAGE SCENES? Whoo, okay, that's done. Now, ONTO THE TORTURE! Oh, and firehorse200, if you spelled that wrong, so did the Webster's ™ Concise Spelling and Grammar dictionary.

(If I owned it, I would not be on FANFICTION)

Discern Your Actors!

a.k.a.

Know Your Stars!

Chapter 14

Raul Fernandez

(Raul is waiting in the chair)

"Know your stars; know your stars; Know Your Stars…" The narrator says in a round.

"Raul Fernandez…He's a giant green potato…"

"Uh…right…sure. Let's go with that."

"Raul Fernandez…He isn't REALLY in the circus. He just likes wearing the tights…"

Raul glances shiftily around the room, "Maaaaayyyyyyybbbbbeee…."

"Raul Fernandez…He has a stuffed teddy bear named Binky…"

"No I don't! His name is Raphael!"

"So you DO have a stuffed teddy bear…"

"Maaaaayyyyyyybbbbbeee…."

"Raul Fernandez…He has six toes…"

"Oh REALLY? Please, do tell." Raul says, genuine shock on his face.

"I was lying you idiot…"

"HA! You admit it!"

'Grr…' The voice thinks, 'this means WAR…'

And war he received.

"Raul Fernandez…He and Julia are plotting to blow up the Louvre tonight…"

"YEEEEESSSSSSNOOOOOOOOOOOOO……" Raul screams evilly before the clarity of the statement hits him like a Sumo wrestler in Cleveland (A/N: O.O I have NO clue…)

"Well, which is it?"

"…maaaaayyyyyyybbbbbeee…."

(Backstage)

"They're plotting WHAT?" an alarmed Oliver screeches (like a little anime schoolgirl), shortly followed by hyperventilating…

"Oliver…calm down." Enrique tells the greenette cautiously.

"CALM DOWN? THOSE FRACKIN FERNANDEZ' ARE GOING TO BLOW UP MY BEAUTIFUL LOUVRE AND YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN? WHY YOU--" Oliver yells before slipping into a string of incoherent French curses, all directed towards said Italian.

-Five Minutes Later-

Oliver, finished with his little moment, is panting on the floor, while Enrique is in a terrified awe.

"I do not want to know what you said…" He tells him. Robert decides to take a shot at calming the French boy.

"Come now Oliver, Julia wouldn't blow up the Louvre, right Julia?" Turning to the Spanish girl at just the wrong time.

"THANKS A LOT! RAUL, YOU IDIOT THEY KNOW! YOU'VE RUINED THE ENTIRE PLAN! NOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH THAT BOM--Oh……hello…how much of that did you hear?"

Robert, Enrique, and the rest of the nearby crew looks horrified, while Oliver begins to hyperventilate again.

-Let's Take Another Quick Cut and Scope out Tala's Thoughts-

Notes to Self:

1. Julia is an evil genius. I must have that genius to complete my plans of world domination using my army of mutant hamsters.

2. Kill Daichi in his sleep using Tyson's sweaty gym socks.

3. Buy sticky notes.

-Tala's Thoughts Everybody! And What Psychotic--I mean Wonderful--Thoughts They Were-

(Onstage)

Oliver runs onstage, and stops before Raul.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" the greenette screeches at the Spaniard, again like a little anime schoolgirl. "YOU WERE PLANNING TO BLOW UP MY DEAR LOUVRE THE ENTIRE TIME, WEREN'T YOU?"

"Umm, well, uh…you see--"

"I BET YOU'RE IN LEAGUE WITH JOHNNY TOO!"

Raul yells, "CRAP! THEY'RE ON TO US! QUICK, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"

Suddenly, a suped-up Zamboni comes charging onstage, Julia in tow and Johnny behind the wheel.

"GET ON!" Julia shouts at him, and Raul jumps up next to his sister.

"HIT IT JOHNNY!" Raul screams.

"YOU GOT IT!" The red-haired Scot cries, and hits the gas. The Zamboni takes off onto backstage.

Screams are heard. Tears are shed. Lives are lost.

…Or, they broke through a wall and no one was injured. Whichever you're more comfortable with.

"Now you actually know…Raul Fernandez…"

Kit: Sorry for the late update! My week didn't quite go as planned. The same goes for this chapter. Number 14! The same number of years I am! At least for a few more months. Then I can DRIVE!

Kai: AHH!

Kit: I know, scary thought.

(Zamboni comes racing in)

Johnny: (smiles normally to camera) Read and review, we've basically given up on flames (revs up Zamboni and drives off)

Kit: Uh…RIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHTTTTT….

Are and Are