Kit: Because Emmi has been out of school, she has no new character ideas since she has not seen KIT-KIT or shonafan to help her come up with them. So you know what THAT means…
Kai: Why are you looking at me that way demon-girl…?
Kit: It means it's time for the much-anticipated KAI SEQUEL! Bob, Joe, if you would be so kind?
Kai: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? (tranquilizer dart comes out of nowhere) (hits Kai) (Kai passes out)
Kit: TAKE HIM TO THE CHAIR! (audience gasps) WRONG CHAIR YOU IDIOTS! (audience sighs)
Bob and Joe: (drag Kai off)
Kit: Okay, this is going to be a completely OOC chapter. Little heads up for you. Finally, to my reviewers: You are all insane. Completely and utterly insane. All the power to you.
(THE LAWYERS ARE COMING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!)
Discern Your Actors!
a.k.a.
Know Your Stars!
Chapter 15
Kai Hiwatari: Part II
(Kai is bound to the chair, still looking like, well, Kai)
"Know your stars; know your stars; Know Your Stars…" The narrator says in a round.
"Kai Hiwatari…He has an attitude problem…"
"Yes, I know I have an attitude problem but I'm trying to change that."
"Erm…what?"
"'I love you. You love me. We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me, too?'"
"Um…right then…"
"Ba ba ba ba ba. Ba ba ba ba ba. Pepsi-cola! YEAH!"
"Kai Hiwatari…He's drunk…"
"Who's drunk? Oh yeah, that's me! I'm Russian! Gimme some Vodka!"
"Okay, could I get some help out here? He's actually drunk!"
Suddenly, a girl with 'AUTHORESS' sewn on the back of her jacket sprints onstage. "Never fear! The Authoress is here!"
"Uh, you aren't the Authoress…"
"Of course I am! Can't you see the monogram?"
Tyson suddenly sticks his head onstage. "Hey Kit, why are you wearing Emmi's jacket?"
"SHADUP!" Kit yells. Two seconds later, a haphazard orange comes flying out of nowhere, hitting him in the face. Tyson passes out immediately.
Kai blinks "Wow, she's good."
Kit looks up at the ceiling, "Now, what seems to be the problem?"
"Hm, let's see-- HE'S DRUNK!"
"Huh?" Kit asks boredly, looking at Kai, who is humming 'Just Keep Swimming' "Oh, that. He isn't drunk."
"He's not?"
She yawns, "Naw, he's still just a little loopy from the tranquilizer dart. It'll wear off in a bit. In the meantime, just carry on like normal."
"Alright." The voice says. Kit walks off stage.
"Kai Hiwatari…His beyblade sucks…"
"Yeah, it does, doesn't it? And isn't Dranzer stupid? Phoenixes are way too girly!"
'Hm…' The voice thinks, 'I can work with this…'
"Kai Hiwatari…Is naked…"
"I am? Yeah, baby! I'm dead sexy! Hey everybody! I'm naked! WOO HOO!"
(Backstage)
"Uh, Kit? Your POSITIVE he's not drunk?" Max asks. Kit nods.
"Yep." She says, looking at her watch, "In fact, he should be coming out of it in 5, 4, 3, 2..."
(Meanwhile, Onstage…)
Kai has abandoned just ranting in favor of a more…um…musical approach to the situation…
"'I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my pants, too sexy…for…WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"
(Backstage)
"Good one, Kai." Emily says, rolling her eyes.
"Oh yes. Very nice." Kit concurs, sarcasm dripping in her voice.
(Onstage)
"Oh no! Hell will freeze over before I do this again!
"Well then, I guess Russia just got even bigger."
"Excuse me?"
"Now you know…Kai Hiwatari…hehe…"
"SAY WHAT?"
Kit: I don't know about you, but I'm not gonna be the one to tell him.
Ray: Don't look at me! I kinda enjoy living, thank you very much.
Kit: It's unanimous! We don't tell him! Sorry it's so short, but we are at 199 reviews! GO US!
Ray: You know the drill, flames always welcome.
Kit: Thanks Ray! Latez!
Are and Are