Disclaimer: I don't own HP and anything you recognize is not mine.

Reviewers: Long time, no update! I'm truly sorry, please read the next installment before damning me to eternal persecution. Senior year, boys, my 18th b-day, work, etc etc are all to blame for this delay. I will work towards more updates, promise. I really appreciated all the reviews, the feedback is wonderful. I'm thinking about trying to write something completely original and I hope I can do it. Your positive words help me pursue this seemingly impossible dream. Thanks, and finally, the story:

BOXERS OR BRIEFS

refresher:

With a howl of true, undying pleasure, he collapsed limply into oblivion.

And now, I present the long awaited

Chapter Four: Mood Swings

He came to listening to a nearby panting, accompanied by breathless giggles. Immediately alert, he scanned his surroundings only to wish the ground would swallow him up whole. He had fled to a girls lavatory, of all places, to get off for apparently no reason at all. And what an unbelievable wanking it was, a darker, primal part of his mind reminded his more sensible side. He would have agreed more than wholeheartedly under other circumstances but for the fact that he had one horny, blushing ghost staring at him like he was the most mouth-watering being to ever cross her path.

Blushing himself, Remus slowly sat up and cleaned up his attire and surroundings with a cool swish, trying to think of what he could possibly say. Myrtle beat him to it. "My, my," she drawled, giggling again. "If that wasn't the most erotic performance I've ever seen, then by God, may he send me to hell because I wouldn't survive anything else. Are you a god?"

"Um, no. I'm a student."

"Lord," the image fanned herself, looking ready to have her own orgasm at any moment.

"Look, I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this to anyone," he mumbled, cheeks glowing.

"Of course, Tasty," she agreed, giving him a lewd, heated wink. "I wouldn't want to share the show, now would I? Come back soon, alright?" she added hopefully, practically panting again.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." Shuddering, Remus lurched to his feet and dashed out of the bathroom waving as a faint goodbye echoed in his ears. Glancing at his wristwatch, he cursed, speeding up as he made a dash for Charms, which he had two minutes to get to. He realized as he raced halfway across the school that he didn't have his book bag and hoped that one of his friends had grabbed it for him.

The blonde skid into the Charms classroom two minutes later, panting heavily as he felt the pairs of eyes glued to his frame. Flushing even more, he faced Flitwick, who was frowning. "Now, Mr. Lupin, it's not like you to be late," the dwarf grumbled, staring up into his tawny eyes.

Remus swallowed heavily. "I- I know sir, but I was feeling ill at breakfast and have only just now started feeling better."

"He did rush out of breakfast in an awful hurry this morning," a fellow 6th year Hufflepuff announced, giggling nervously when all eyes turned to her.

"Alright, Mr. Lupin, have a seat. There's no sense in punishing you for something you can't control. Now, as I was saying…" Remus tuned the middle-aged wizard out as he headed to the back of the classroom where his three friends sat, each with a different expression: Peter was worried, James was suspicious, and Sirius- Sirius couldn't even look at him, and his face was impassive. Great. Just great.

As soon as class let out, Remus snatched up his satchel and made a dash out into the corridor, leaving his friends behind him.

"Remus!" James' frustrated yell echoed in the crowded hall. Damn James and his persistence, Remus thought, jogging faster. "Bloody hell Moony!" Remus heard a grunt and then felt James' body collide with his, sending both boys tumbling to the floor.

"Merlin, you don't listen, do you?" the messy-haired young man panted, sitting on top of his friend.

"Not if I can help it," Remus mumbled, drawing a weak laugh from James.

"Jimmy boy?" Sirius' voice boomed overhead. "What are you and Rem doing on the bleeding floor?"

"We're collecting dust. It's my latest obsession. I want to fill the whole dorm up by graduation. Will you help me?"

"Sure!" the ebon-haired lad plopped himself down next to his two friends, eyebrows raised.

Peter, who was standing behind Sirius, looked irritated by his friends' immaturity. "I have to go to Divination. See you guys at lunch," he murmured, leaving quickly.

They all called goodbyes and then turned back to the situation at hand. Sirius spoke first. "Um, hope you don't mind me asking, but exactly how long do you plan to sit here? We have Transfiguration in five minutes."

Remus groaned, shaking his head, and James rolled his eyes. "Never mind, Sirius. Remus, what the hell is up with you today? You're all weird and jumpy."

Remus cleared his throat nervously. "Jumpy?" He darted a look at Sirius, who looked equally concerned, before schooling his features completely and giving James his full attention. "Just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I suppose," he admitted at last, half honestly.

James gave him a piercing look before nodding and standing up, giving a hand to his friend. While Remus dusted himself off, Sirius proceeded to scoop up more dust and grime by sliding his hand along the stone floor, a devilish gleam glittering in his eyes. Before Remus could give warning, for he'd seen that look on many occasions, a look that in past dealings with the black-haired boy always spelled trouble, Sirius jumped up from his sprawled position and proceeded to ruffle James' untidy mane, viciously scrubbing the dust balls into his best friend's hair.

"Sirius!" James squawked indignantly, darting out of reach to prevent further damage. "You bloody ingrate!"

"What? I thought you were starting a collection," Sirius replied innocently, batting long black eyelashes. "Besides, you were asking for it."

James shot him a dark look and Remus rolled his eyes, starting off to Transfiguration with the other two in tow, still bickering.

"I was not!" James hissed vehemently, trying to repair the disaster that was his current hairstyle. Remus had to admit it was looking quite worse than usual and that was saying something.

"You were too."

"I was not!"

"Definitely were."

"No I wasn't! Take it back now!"

"No, I don't think I will. Why, you may ask? Because you were."

"Was not! Was not! Was not!"

"Oh you so were. I mean, let's look at the evidence," Sirius reasoned, ticking them off on his slender fingers as they entered the classroom. "One, you tackled Moony for no reason. Two, you were collecting dust for shits and giggles and you did not intend to share this collection with me, no less! And finally, you left me on the floor to fend for myself. 'Here Moony, let me help you up. Here Moony, let me watch you dust off your robe. Here Moony, let's ignore Sirius completely,'" Sirius mimicked, pouting as he threw himself into his usual seat at the back of the classroom. "Really, you're lucky I only rubbed dirt in your hair. Gods! And to think I was being merciful."

There was a long silence and then Remus burst into a gale of unrestrained laughter, a musical sound rarely heard even by his friends. Several students already in the class looked up, started by such a rarity, as Sirius glared incredulously at his traitorous friend and huffed, crossing his arms across his chest. James too began to laugh, partially amused by the tears glittering in Remus' eyes and partially amused by the childishness of it all. "Merlin, Padfoot, did you even hear yourself?" the werewolf barely managed to pant out.

"What?" he demanded, blue eyes sparking.

"And I quote!" Remus managed between laughs. "'Really, you're lucky I only rubbed dirt in your hair.'" Remus laughed some more, tears streaming, clutching his stomach as he rasped out, "Merciful! For the love of the stars, Pads, but you are one hell of a riot!"

"I am not!" the boy grumbled, facing the front of the classroom and ignoring his two friends completely. "And this is the last time I'll speak to you until you apologize."

"Oh Mr. Black, not another tantrum! And so early in the day?" Lily tutted as she took a seat, surprising everyone when it was next to Remus, who half-smiled at her, shyness pouring off him.

"I do not have tantrums!" Sirius stated indignantly. "And if you're going to sit next to him, then I won't be speaking with you either!"

"And that will be such a loss, I assure you," Lily muttered sarcastically, shooting a wink toward Remus who was looking slightly downcast. His eyes lit up and his lips curved a bit, and Lily bobbed her head in satisfaction. "So Lupe, how are you fairing this fine day? Any headaches?"

"You mean besides the ones these two provide daily?" Lily grinned and nodded. "No, actually. I will have to hunt down Severus and thank him properly. I don't believe I was in much of a state to do so, and I doubt James or Sirius did the thing appropriately."

Lily hummed her agreement as she shot a spiteful glance at the black haired teens at the table next to them, catching James' eye as she casually replied, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that saying 'move you greasy git' is not an appropriate thank you."

Remus whirled to face his fellow Marauders. "James, Sirius! You didn't!" His eyes were begging the two to deny the statement.

"Well…" James drew the word out, unsure of what to say and dreading the disappointment that would definitely follow if he didn't think of an excuse fast. He elbowed his best friend, looking for support, but Sirius only glared at the werewolf.

"I hardly think," he began sourly, "that I should answer that, seeing as you haven't apologized yet. Besides, it's not fair for you to get mad at me when I'm already mad at you! You're just turning it all around, and I won't have it." Recrossing his arms over his chest, he turned to face the front again. "And we did call him a greasy git." The words 'so there' were implied, and Remus' face erupted like a thundercloud.

"Fucking bloody hell, Sirius! Where do you get off making everything about you!" The amber-eyed teen leapt from his chair as though electrocuted and stormed from the classroom, once again leaving his book bag behind. Everyone in the classroom stared after him, eyes round. Professor McGonagall, who had entered the room just in time to witness the outburst and hasty exit, shakily set her own bag down on her desk.

"Would someone please go after him?" she asked finally, looking pointedly at the two remaining marauders sitting in the last row of seats. Sirius and James were frozen in shock, completely unmoving, eyes wide, mouths open. Lily rolled her eyes in disgust and raised her hand confidently. "Professor McGonagall, ma'am, you and I already covered this lesson in private. I wouldn't mind checking on him."

McGonagall's eyes briefly focused on the girl and she nodded her head, still glancing at James and Sirius every five seconds. "You may be excused," she murmured, still shocked herself. As Lily exited, she shook it off and said loudly, "Alright, students, please turn to chapter eight and read the first section. You have twenty minutes." Books slammed onto desks as one student after another rushed to comply, hearing the commanding impatience in her voice. "Potter, Black!" The teacher's voice cracked out like a whip and the two boys immediately gave their attention. "Get out your books, please, and read the assignment." Turning, she went to the board and began scratching out the day's lesson, wondering vaguely what in Hogwarts had sent the naturally amiable werewolf flying off the handle.

-

Don't worry, we'll soon be back to our original destination, the PLAN! However, I can never seem to resist wandering into a little angst, but as my beloved English teacher says, conflict creates something worth reading.

I will try to get the next installment up soon.

Love, the author