Chapter 4 It's Just One of THOSE Days
RATING: M for language only
A/N: Please accept my apologies (and chocolate and hugs and begging) for taking so long to get to Chapter 4. The idea behind this chapter is attitude adjustment. You know, when you are having one of THOSE days, yet you still have to carry on with the details of life and deal with other people when all you want to do is be alone in a room with VERY LOUD, VERY ANGRY music! You don't? Or maybe you do! Anyhow, that's what is behind this chapter. I think that Wonka has bad days, just like us. The difference is in how he deals with them. I believe that the number of his bad days are way way waaaay less than oursbecause he chooses to be "distracted" 95percent of the time with chocolate and his factory (not that it's a bad thing!) and he sort of ignores, no that's the wrong word…….. He has such tunnel vision when it comes to his work that the "other stuff" doesn't seem to affect him. But it does and when he has a day where all that "stuff" bubbles to the surface he has to deal with it in some way. I choose to make my Wonka deal with his attitude adjustment the way that I do. With music. These are some of the songs I like to listen to…….. I actually made a CD of these songs as I wrote the chapter……
I wanted to really explain more on why I wrote Wonka needing this release and I did but it was painfully long. So I settled on this….. The short version…….Just wanted to give you an idea of why I wrote Wonka like this. I do not think he is immune to the shortcomings of being human. He just deals with them in very different ways than you or I would. He is as multifaceted as anyone else. The pieces of who "Wonka" is are just cut in different proportions than our pieces.
I did try to keep Wonka's quirkiness. I mean, he just doesn't "get" some of the songs. Yea, he likes how they sound but he has his own understanding of these songs which are, I am sure, different from yours and mine!
Please review…also let me know of my many grammar errors, I just love commas and the …… (dot dot dot ) thingies a bit too much!…and enjoy.
Disclaimer: I use lyrics from a bunch of songs here. I do not own any of them. The chapter title is a Limp Bizkit song, which is actually titled Break Something. I'm overlooking the "language" and any other meaning in this song because the sound and feel of it is the exact thing I wanted to express. If you have never heard this song please give it a listen, especially on one of THOSE days…..and turn the volume UP! If you really want the full effect make a CD with these songs on it. I will note the song title, artist and album inparens throughout the chapter.
Now on with the story:
Our chocolatier had chosen the disc with the red and orange arrows on it.
"Let's Boogie." He stated flatly to the empty room. This one would be perfect, as long as there were no glitches.
Wonka needed a good day today but he got this one instead. This day was the kind of day that you or I would define as "one of THOSE days" but Wonka, in his seemingly innocent way, calls them Vicious Wangdoodle Days. The kind of day where everyone, anyone and anything makes you want to scream "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" and break something, many somethings even!
The day started on the wrong foot with half of the Oompa Loompa staff out sick (some sort of bug going around). Next, after getting out of bed, he tripped on the edge of the carpet and stubbed his big toe, then after his very, very long hot shower to try and calm the upset back muscles involved in said trip on carpet, he had a breakfast of cold cereal (of ALL things) and there wasn't even a prize in the box! His favorite spinning lollipop tooth brush slipped out of his hand and landed in the toilet, fishing it out was definitely NOT going to happen, so he had to use his back-up tooth brush, not as much fun but it would get the job done THEN he had to do all the morning machine mainentance himself…..on and on the barrage of irritations went.
So by now Wonka was ready to rage at something, someone, anyone and anything.
He quickly slipped the disc onto a purple monogrammed hanky, wrapped it, put it into his coat pocket and headed for the elevator. Several silent minutes later he reached The Long and Winding Road. Standing in the doorway he reached for the disc. Removed it from its confines and began to eat it.
"Tastes great, as usual" he though drearily
Wonka began to walk the road, chewing the eatable CD, and waiting for the music to begin. His entire body was filled with the rage of the day. He hated it, wanted it to LEAVE, just GO AWAY……. Yet, he felt electrified by it, energized in a weird sort of way.
The only sound he heard were his footfalls and the tap of his cane……..the absence of music was making his bad day even worse. He began to review the contents of this particular CD in his mind.
"I am so glad that I picked The Get Happy Collection. I hope it's The Get Happy Collection…..Let's see now The Get Happy Collection has orange and pink on the surface. I'll just take a look…..oh no! No can do, I ate it already….Gee, then which one did I eat? OOOOO what colors were on this one…..think man, think…..ok, I know there was orange on this one and the other color was…..um…….er…….OH I hope it's not the RED and orange one…..jeez that one hasn't been properly tested for proto-type status……..Only goodness knows what'll happen now."
Wonka continued down the road stomping like a child in need of a good temper tantrum.
"This is taking way too long….glitch number one. Note to self: make music start immediately"
BLAM...THERE IT WAS
Its just one of those days/Where you don't want to wake up/Everything is fucked/Everybody sucks/You don't really know why/But you wanna justify/Rippin someone's head off/No human contact, and if you interact/your life is on contract/Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
It's just one of those days……..
(Break Something by Limp Bizkit Album: Significant Other)
The sound of a LOUND ANGRY guitar ripped through Wonka's body nearly throwing him to the ground. He caught his balance and flew forward on feet of intense speed and weight. Walking so fast he might as well be running! Stomping around like this felt GOOOOOOOD……like slipping out of his everyday persona and into what he REALLY felt like. Today anyway.
"OOOOO, glitch number two." He said, " LANGUAGE! That sort of language will never do…..note to self: get a really big thes…thisari……thesi…….a really big book of words!"
His cane in his left hand, suffered the death-grip of his anger and pumped forward and back to the heavy beat…….. arms pumping hard, feet hitting the ground as though he were trying to break through……..
"OOOOOOOh…that language has GOT to go……and he's MUMBLING……..LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA….i'm not listening, I'm not listening……… I AM NOT LISTENING" Our angry chocolatier was shouting out loud now. He was alone and he knew that no one could hear him, although that was the last thing he was concerned with at this moment.
The next song begins. Nice soft guitar riff. Solid bass. Nice vocal. Wonka bopped his head in time with the pleasant sound.
Well I guess it would be nice/If I could touch your body./I know not everybody/Has got a body like me./But I gotta think twice/Before I give my heart away………… And when that love comes down
Without devotion/Well it takes a strong man baby/But I'm showin' you that door!
"Ew….touching bodies…yuck……who wrote this stuff?" Wonka said to the candy trees
Then the chorus kicked in! The cacophony of sound assaulted Wonka's interior and the poor man had no way of turning it off! His body reacted by lurching him to the left. Luckily his cane was in that hand and he used it to stabilize himself.
The vocals were a cross between a scream and a screech and were very very loud!
"Here we go AGAIN…….note to self: kick the Oompa Loompa who let this CD through. make a volume control!"
I gotta have faaaaaaaaaaith/Gotta have faaaaaaaith/Gotta have faaaaaaaith!
Gotta have faaaaaaaith!
(Faith covered by Limp Bizkit Album: Three dollar Bill Y'all)
The song ended abruptly and the next song began…….a sort of pop tune this time…….but still the strained anger underneath, the annoyance obvious……
When you're fixing your make-up/You know you take too long/And when you mix me a drink up
You know you mix it too strong/And when you fix me a breakfast/You know you fix it too late
With the wrong kind of egg-cup/And the wrong kind of plate
But honey look at your eyes/You got the innocent eyes/And now you're asking me why
I'm mad at you/Mad at you
(Mad at You by Joe Jackson Album: Beat Crazy)
"Now we're cooking! I think this one will do just fine! Although, whomever he is singing about really can't seem to get anything right, no wonder he's mad. Great bass line though! Not too loud or offensive….yes, this one will do quite nicely"
By now, the music has exorcised the some of his rage and now he is just enjoying the rest of it. That electric feeling anger produces is really quite wonderful, really gets the creative juices flowing, and he knows that he will be flooded with a torrent of ideas by morning.
"I hope those Oompa Loompa's are better soon, I'm gonna need lots of help with all the new candy I'll be making" He said n a sing song way.
Wonka was getting pretty sweaty and a bit winded while he walk-danced his way through the Long and Winding Road. He stopped for a brief moment , placed his cane between his knees, unceremoniously tossed his hat onto a bench to the left, shuffled his gloved hands through his hair to stop the dreaded "hat head", stripped off his coat and let it fall to the ground, he unbuttoned his shirt cuffs and carefully rolled each one back, once. He retrieved his cane from between his knees and continued on his journey. Sweaty hands inside latex gloves squeaked and stuck wetly to his flesh.
"note to self: create gloves with proper ventilation"
The music inside him played on:
hangin' out with Lester Bangs you all/and Phil Spector really has it all/Uncle Floyd shows on the t.v./Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood, 10cc/
Don't wanna be a working stiff/lose my identity/cause when it comes/to working 9 to 5
There ain't not place for me/ain't my reality, to me…….
and it's not my place/in the 9 to 5 world/and it's not my place
with 9 to 5 girl/it's not my place/in the 9 to 5 world
(It's Not my Place (in the 9 to 5 World) by The Ramones Album: Pleasant Dreams)
"Note to self: research Lester Bangs, Phil Spector, Uncle Floyd, Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood, 10cc."
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The development of the "eatable CD" was fun for Wonka and the Oompa Loompas. Since Wonka had lived within the confines of the factory for so very long with little contact with the outside world his knowledge of current music was zero.
Luckily, the Oompa Loompas kept up with the times. Their love and appreciation of music, and their desire for more music, was greatly aided by The Internet. The Oompa Loompas made CD after CD of modern music for Wonka to sample. Then the IPod came along and made life very sweet for our diminuitive friends! No more bulky CD's or portable CD players to lug about! Wonka could carry his IPod in his coat pocket without hindering his movement or candy making!
Yes, my friends, there were several incidents involving CD's and portable CD players. For instance, The Great CD Frisbee Debacle. Suffice it to say, that was the day that everyone in the factory learned their lesson about where to NOT aim flat silver discs that have a sharp edge! The good thing that came out of it is that the Oompa Loompa chorus finally has a soprano section.
Our chocolate loving, candy making genius began to listen to music night and day. He could even listen to it in his sleep! WOW! This new and small music player was perfect for our Wonka.
He began to make lists of songs and artist that he liked. Long lists. Very Long lists. Very Very very Long lists. Until the threat of carpal tunnel syndrome began to tap at his wrist……Then the Oompa Loompa secretarial pool offered to type his lists as he dictated them (they type so well! And with great accuracy!) This method worked much better and all were pleased with the outcome. Especially the secretaries who received extra cocoa beans in their pay!
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I WAS FEELING KIND OF ETHEREAL 'CAUSE I'M PRECIOUS
I HAD MY EYE ON YOUR IMPERIAL YOU'RE SO PRECIOUS …….
"TRAPPED IN A WORLD THAT THEY NEVER MADE"
BUT NOT ME BABY I'M TOO PRECIOUS I HAD TO FUCK OFF
(Precious – Pretenders Album: Pretenders )
"LANGUAGE……people, people. People…..LEARN NEW WORDS……note to self: get really really big book of words"
Every now and again, when a favorite part played, our chocolatier would play air guitar. Gloves squeaking against the smooth surface of his cane which was his "instrument" for the moment.
Taking a cocky "I'm so cool guitar player" stance, Our rockin' chocolate man strummed away on his imaginary bass guitar…,..head bobbing to the beat led by his chin, left foot keeping time on the ground, hips swaying just a bit…Ah……drum solo………bass keeping the beat…. He really liked playing Rock Star!
Wonka actually tried to play guitar and bass and keyboards and tambourine and cow bell and violin and triangle……Those darn gloves! He just refused to remove them therefore playing any sort of instrument was not possible. That's not totally true. Wonka tried drums but once he held the drum sticks he knew that wouldn't work out for him. His hands, whatever would he do if they became disabled! How would he be able to create his new candies and inventions! No, drums were too violent to actually play.
He did wish that he could command an instrument to make the sounds he had been listening to.
"Now, that's powerful. Being able to make an inanimate object sing like that….WOW……if I could just get over this germ thing……."
So Wonka remained content to mimic the motions on his cane. He had the moves too. He was born with grace of movement. He always moved as if no effort were involved. He had the gracefulness of Fred Astaire and the athletic strength of Gene Kelly. He always was able to believe that he really was playing lead guitar, bass and sometimes drums…..even though the only sound to be heard was the squeak of his ever present gloves.
And then the calm began to materialize…..out in the distance…..ahead of him it was there waiting.
He knew it would wait for him. The irritations that had built themselves into a mountain of rage were fading away.
You get up every morning/From your alarm clock's warning/Take the 8:15 into the city
There's a whistle up above/And people pushin', people shovin'/And the girls who try to look pretty
And if your train's on time /You can get to work by nine/And start your slaving job to get your pay
If you ever get annoyed/Look at me I'm self-employed/I love to work at nothing all day
And I'll be.../Taking care of business every day/Taking care of business every way
I've been taking care of business, it's all mine
Taking care of business and working overtime
(Takin' Care of Business by Bachman-Turner Overdrive Album: Bachman-Turner Overdrive 2)
"That one's a keeper as well! Oh now this is showing some promise."
His rapid gait slowed to a fast walk. His breathing quieted…….and as the music played from within he could see the chaos whirling around him and feel the still space which he now occupied.
Still don't know what I was waiting for/And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets and/Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet/So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse/Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes/turn and face the strain/ Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Changes by David Bowie Album: Hunky Dory)
"Change? Why would anyone want to change? Change is not good. Making candy is good. Making candy is the best thing in the world, everyone knows that!"
The lighthearted rhythm that begun had Wonka practically skipping!
Save me from this prison/Lord help me get away/Cause only you can save me now
From this misery/Cause I've been lost in my own place/And I'm getting' weary
How far is heaven/And I know that I need to change/My ways of livin'
How far is heaven, Lord can you tell me
Cause I've been locked up way too long/In this crazy world, how far is heaven
(Heaven by Los Lonely Boys Album: Los Lonely Boys )
"Again with the changing! Geeeeeze Louise! By the sound of this one you would think that people just weren't too happy at all. That people were running around miserable all the time! Don't they know that chocolate contains a property that makes one feel like they are in love? A little chocolate will cure anything!" He continued his skipping and added a little side step now and again.
A sultry voice sang over a melodious brass section,
Ooh-oo child/Things are gonna get easier/Ooh-oo child/Things'll get brighter
Some day, yeah/We'll get it together and we'll get it all done
Some day/When your head is much lighter/Some day, yeah
We'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
(Ooh Child by The 5 Stairsteps Album: The 5 Stairsteps )
He stopped atop a small hill and stood with cane in left arm outstretched, right arm outstretched, head bent back and looked up….up up up….One day he would go up and out….he would have his heir and life would be just swell…….Right? That's how things were supposed to go. Get heir, life gets swell.
"One day I will have my heir and life will be swell, sweeter than ever. It has to. I need someone to teach all my candy making secrets to. Someone who will run the factory as I would. Someone to take care of the Oompa Loompas. Yes, that's how it will go, exactly." And then, in a small almost imperceptible voice "right?"
Continuing to walk, in lazy sort of way, he found himself in front of the bench where his hat and coat were waiting for him. He took a seat on one end of the bench, propped his feet up on the other end and listened to the last song while the manufactured sun shone on him from above.
Breathe, breathe in the air./Don't be afraid to care.
Leave but don't leave me./Look around and choose your own ground.
Long you live and high you fly/And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see Is all your life will ever be.
(Breathe by Pink Floyd Album: Dark Side of the Moon)
The hypnotic melody played on, and Wonka quietly slipped into sleep, into the calm that he sought. His hat slid down to cover his eyes. Both hands softly held the cane, which lie atop his body. Finally rid of his rage Wonka dreamed. In his dreams he invented candy that the world would never see and flavors that are non-existent. He slept soundly now. Words and phrases passed through his mind making new thoughts.
And all you touch and all you see Is all your life will ever be.
Change was happening and he didn't even know it.
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A/N: I am not 100 satisfied with this chapter. It is nothing like I imagined it to be. It is what it is. I hope you enjoy it. There will be a chapter 5 sometime in the next two weeks or so.