Title: An Unlikely Team
Theme: Set #2, Theme # 99 Altogether -- alike
Genre: General/Humor
Pairings: implied Jakotsu/Bankotsu
Word Count: 1,344
Rating: PG
Summary: Jakotsu's not too fond of the newest member to the group.
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The 'Deadly Five,' was now in the process of changing its name yet again with the addition of a sixth member. Usually excited with these turns of events, and always glad to try to come up with the new group name, Jakotsu found himself too surly at the moment to care.
Their members weren't exactly normal: the young leader, the doctor-turned-killer, the metal-jawed warrior and the former monk who had mastered the flames. Along with Jakotsu, they were certainly a unique bunch.
Up until this point, the five had gotten along quite well; but with the addition of the sixth member came a completely new problem.
Mukotsu was a very skilled poisons master, and a valuable asset to the team. While he was concerned that his appearance might be off-putting, the others didn't mind in the least bit. The aspect that did seem to be an issue was actually a very normal one.
As for Jakotsu, he just couldn't stand it and he kept swearing to Bankotsu that it was going to drive him mad. The youthful leader just reassured his friend that it wasn't that bad as he tried to get him to calm down.
"But Aniki!"
Bankotsu sighed, "Jakotsu. It's no different from your...battle techniques. The only difference is..."
"That they're women!" He piped up dramatically, "Why did it have to be women!"
"Isn't that normal?" Bankotsu replied, blinking innocently.
"Normal for those who don't have good taste," Jakotsu scoffed, "The male body is definitely much more attractive."
The conversation between the two fell into silence as Mukotsu entered with his 'catch of the day.' The stout man glared at Jakotsu, who was in turn glaring at the unconscious figure of the young girl.
"What is he doing here?" The two asked simultaneously of the leader.
Bankotsu rolled his eyes, already growing tired of this daily argument. Placing a hand on Jakotsu's shoulder, he tried to stop the imminent war.
"Come on Jakotsu, why don't we..."
"I told you to keep that filth away from me!"
"As if acting like a horny animal around a young soldier is any better!"
"Now the whole yashiki is going to be tainted with that-that...thing!"
"Well no one said you had to stay here!"
And as per usual, it was at about this point that Jakotsu went storming from the room with Bankotsu quickly following him. Sure enough, the dark-haired man made his way outside and sat at the base of a nearby tree with a 'hmph.'
"Jakotsu..."
"What?" He snapped.
"Can't you and Mukotsu at least try and work this out?"
Jakotsu glared.
"For me? Please?"
The large blue-eyes and the pleading expression was enough to convince Jakotsu, leaving him no choice but to give in.
"Mou, why must you always do that?"
"Do what?"
"That cute, naive, please do me- thing."
Bankotsu frowned, trying to hide his embarrassment.
"I didn't do anything like that!"
Jakotsu smirked, standing up and brushing the grass from his yukata. Reaching out he ruffled the younger man's hair.
"I'll go talk to Mukotsu, but you owe me one."
Bankotsu's smile returned at that, "Thanks, Jakotsu."
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Jakotsu pressed his ear to the door, definitely not wanting to walk in on anything unpleasant. And as much as he trusted Bankotsu's judgment on the new mercenary, even the vaguest thought of Mukotsu and that girl being intimate was enough to make Jakotsu's stomach churn.
Once he was certain by the abnormal silence that the girl was either dead or unconscious, Jakotsu slowly slid the door open.
It wasn't exactly what he'd expected to see (not that he wanted to see certain things) but then again, finding both Mukotsu and the serving girl in opposite corners crying was far from expected.
On noticing Jakotsu, the stout poison user stood and rushed towards him. And before the tall, effeminate killer knew what was happening- Mukotsu was clinging to his legs sobbing.
Momentarily putting their disagreement aside, Jakotsu cautiously patted Mukotsu on the back.
"What's wrong?"
"She-she-" Any further words were cut off as Mukotsu nosily blew his nose into Jakotsu's yukata. Flinching at that, and mentally noting to go and kill the local clothing merchant for a new one, Jakotsu sighed.
"She what? Stop blubbering."
Mukotsu sniffled and gestured to Jakotsu to lean down. Once the taller man was crouching at the right level, Mukotsu whispered to him.
As the servant girl's words were recounted to him, Jakotsu began to scowl.
"She said WHAT!"
Recoiling a few steps, Mukotsu nodded timidly, "She only likes oo-aniki. She wants to..."
"There is no way in hell I'm letting her lay a single finger on him! That's the problem with these damned women!"
The full situation dawning on him, Mukotsu quickly tugged Jakotsu out into the hallway and closed the door behind them.
"Wait a minute, you don't like women because..."
"Because they're always all over my men. Always flirting with them and distracting any possible cuties from me," He scoffed, "If they'd leave my men alone I wouldn't have any problem with them at all. I mean..."
"...who will pay attention to you when there's something 'better' to look at?" Mukotsu finished.
The two smiled at that, finally realizing just how similar they were deep down.
"You know- I think I have an idea that'll get us both what we want," Jakotsu remarked, his lips quirking upward into a devious smirk.
Mukotsu laughed, toothily grinning back, "And I have a feeling I know exactly what you have in mind."
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The stage was set that evening, two unknowing actors about to play their roles.
Mukotsu had told the young girl just what to do if she wanted to impress the leader and win him over. Jakotsu, on the other hand, was hoping that his best friend would react as he predicted.
Little did Bankotsu know- he was walking right into their trap when he told the girl to pour his sake.
Demure smile on her face, she knelt down before him and poured the sake into the glass. Then, before Bankotsu even knew what hit him- she was wrapped around him and leaning in for a kiss.
Flustered and furious, the young leader jumped back and shoved her away. Jakotsu stifled a laugh, glad to see he knew his friend well enough to predict his actions.
"What the hell are you doing!" Bankotsu demanded.
"But-but I thought that..." The girl stammered.
Giving Mukotsu a knowing glance, Jakotsu walked up behind Bankotsu and placed a hand on his shoulder.
Figuring the girl was no different than the others who'd tried this in the past, Bankotsu frowned.
"What? You thought because I was young and handsome that you could seduce me and I'd make Mukotsu let you go? Forget it, I'm not interested," Reaching down, he grabbed up the sake jug, "Come on Jakotsu, let's get out of here."
"Okay Bankotsu," He replied; wrapping an arm around the younger man's shoulders.
As the two walked towards the door, Jakotsu glanced back at the girl. Giving her a quick wink, he sealed the deal with seven little words.
"Sorry Missy. He's more my type anyway."
Her eyes widened and Mukotsu moved in to pat her back reassuringly as the two other men left.
"That's so strange. He's always liked the ladies before," Mukotsu lied, leading her along, "I guess something about you made him change his mind."
The girl turned, sobbing into Mukotsu's arms.
"But I'm pretty, aren't I? I'm prettier than that man with him!"
Smiling, the poison user gently led her towards his room.
"Oh, I certainly think so, dearie. He clearly must be blind not to find you beautiful."
The door slid closed behind him and the hallway fell silent. A few seconds later, two doors simultaneously opened and Mukotsu and Jakotsu both rushed out. Looking behind them to make sure no one would overhear, they whispered to each other.
"It work?"
"Sure did."
Jakotsu smiled, "All right little buddy, we swap how far we get in the morning. Whoever loses treats the other to some expensive sake."
Mukotsu grinned back, "You're on."
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