Andrew sat in the backyard, staring out over the lawn, the endless possibilities of summer stretched out before him. The last day of school had been the day before his birthday party. The two events always, more or less, coincided, a double reason to celebrate. He was looking forward to the week at camp, and hoped that he'd also get a week to spend with Claire, Aaron and Sarah. Aaron was 8 months older than he, and Sarah a year and a half younger, it was a toss up if Charlie would be home or not, the life of a rock god was so unconventional. He'd spoken to Claire on his birthday, she always remembered to call, as did many of the other survivors in Boone's tightly knit group, but he'd forgotten to ask if he could come for a week over the summer. He went inside to see if it was okay to call her and invite himself. He came across Shannon first, so asked her.
"Sounds like a plan," she nodded her assent, thinking, ruefully, that he'd probably get farther with Claire than she would. She watched his retreating back as she remembered her own conversation with Claire.
When the phone had rung the morning of his birthday, she'd answered it. "Hello?"
"Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong number." A female voice had responded sounding puzzled.
"Claire?" she'd recognized the voice immediately, the accent certainly helped.
There was silence for a few seconds. "Shannon?"
"Yeah," she'd confirmed.
"What are you doing there?" Claire's voice had been tight and suspicious.
"I, uh, I came back last week." She'd been hesitant in her answer, on her guard given the tone of the other woman's voice.
"I want to speak to Boone. Is he alright?" The last had been said with concern.
"Yeah, he's fine. Claire, why…" she'd started.
"I want to speak to Boone." Claire had repeated, interrupting her.
"Sure, but…" the line had gone dead.
Confused, she'd headed down the hall to his office hearing the sound of his cell ringing. "Boone Carlyle." there was a pause.
Shannon had reached the door and stopped. He'd been sitting in his chair, his back to the entrance, the phone pressed to his ear with his right hand, rubbing his forehead with his left. His posture had spoken volumes; his shoulders slumped, his head hanging forward. She'd listened to his side of the ensuing conversation.
"Yeah, she, uh, she came back last week." He'd sounded as guilty as he looked, like a kid who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "I'm, you know, I'm fine." He'd stopped. "I know, but, but when I saw her, and she seems like she wants to stay, and I couldn't, and she says she won't leave again, and I just, I couldn't, and…" he'd been babbling as he'd tried to justify himself, his voice low and pleading. Claire must have interrupted him; there was another pause as he'd listened. "I know, please, I know." She'd watched as he'd silently held his left wrist out in front of himself and turned it over, staring at the scars, while listening to Claire. "I know, I will, I promise. I love you too." He'd straightened a bit in the chair, though still looking like a beaten puppy, "He gets home from school at about five, call back then. And, Claire thanks." He'd snapped the phone closed, and stared in silence at the wall for a minute. "I know you're there."
"I wasn't trying to hide." She'd waited, but he didn't say anything. "She wouldn't talk to me."
He'd taken a deep breath, "No, I don't imagine she would." He'd turned his chair to face her. She'd realized he looked defeated again, the self-confidence he'd gained in the last week, shaken. "She's not too impressed with either one of us right now." He'd closed his eyes briefly. "She's sensitive you know, I mean in an island way. God, I don't know why I'm explaining that, of course you know. You know, way back, she said she had a feeling, days before you left, that something bad was going to happen. She said she was worried sick about me without knowing why. What happened to me, what I did to myself because of you, was hard on all of them, but Claire most of all. They lived it with me, you weren't here; you don't know what I put everyone through. We survived a year on the island, against overwhelming odds, and here I was trying to kill myself. They automatically came to my defense, Jack had drilled into all our heads that we had to stand up for each other, protect each other. They're more than my friends, they're my family, Shan, more so now than when you left, because of what I went through, dragging them all with me. All the ones in our little group, and I mean all, even the ones you wouldn't have expected, rallied around me; supported me. But I'm afraid that it came at a price, one you're going to have to pay."
"They all hate me, don't they?" she'd realized it only made sense.
"Hate's a pretty strong word. I think they're definitely all going to be a little wary, and I know they're going to think I'm a complete fool for taking you back. I should have realized that. Once I accepted you back, I was just so happy to have you with me again, I didn't think about the others. You saw my mother's reaction, it's going to be something like that, but without the slapping, well maybe except for Sawyer, and I think he might just deck me. Tell me he's going to beat some sense into me. Either that or he'll be happy to see you back, figuring you'll finally drive me to successfully offing myself, and he'll get that shot at you he's always wanted." He'd said the last with an attempt at a smile.
"If you'd realized, that day, how they'd all feel, would you have turned me away?" she'd waited for his answer.
"No, don't be ridiculous." He'd shaken his head. "What other people think, about me, about us, how can you possibly think that it matters? In most people's eyes, we're just wrong, so many, many kinds of wrong, but that didn't stop me from marrying you."
She'd drawn some small reassurance from that and crossed the distance between them. "Don't let them undermine you, Boone; the doubts that Claire's caused to resurface in your head. They have no more validity now than they did half an hour ago."
His eyes had narrowed in confusion.
"Look at yourself, how you're sitting, you're all folded in on yourself again."
He'd realized she was right and straightened up in the chair. "Shan, it's going to take some time. You've only been back a week and a half. I know I feel, at least before that call, a little more confident. But it's going to take me a while. Six years of my fucked up life aren't going to be fixed in a week. I know I'll have set backs, just bear with me."
She'd smiled and nodded, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair. "We're going to have to tell the others, that is, if Claire hasn't called them all already. You think I should be the one to call them? I can handle the heat, I don't think you can."
"They'll all probably end up phoning me anyway, even if it's just to call me every synonym for "fool" they can think of." He'd shrugged. "But if you could make the initial calls, I'd sure appreciate it."
He'd given her a list of their phone numbers, and she'd spent the rest of the day, uncomfortably calling each and every one of them. Sawyer had been the hardest; she'd known he wouldn't pull any punches.
"Well, well, Sticks. You come crawlin' back, did ya?" She'd heard the sneer in his voice. "You know, you actually forced me to pretend I liked Metro. You owe me. Darlin' you con a man, the way you did, makin' him think you love him so much you'll spend the rest 'a your lives together, you gotta know you're leavin' a powerful lot 'a damage behind. He's got a kid. You leave that kid with no daddy 'cause 'a his momma, and no momma 'cause she's off sight seein', you're gonna set a heap 'a hate lose on this world. You know I know that."
"But, Sawyer, I do love him. It wasn't a con, not about that, not about any of it. I just know that if I'd stayed I would have ended up resenting him, resenting all of it, hating him for being my jailer. It wouldn't have been right for either of us. Christ, I was only twenty years old when we crashed, and suddenly I was a mother and a wife, with my fucking brother of all people, someone who I'd always thought I hated. I wasn't prepared for all of that! I figured, I'd go, get it all out of my system, and come back when I was ready. Fuck, it all sounded so reasonable when I left, now it just sounds so stupidly selfish and self-centred. I had no idea…shit." She'd shaken her head, unable to convey how sorry she was, how much she hadn't anticipated how unbelievably bad Boone's reaction would turn out to be.
She'd called Claire last. Actually, she'd had Boone get Claire on the phone first, and then had him pass the phone to her. The usual sunny and friendly eternal optimist had been guarded and more than a little hostile. "He's like a brother to me," the irony of that wasn't lost on either one of them, "and you almost killed him. I love him enough that I'll respect his decision to take you back, but, Shannon, anything happens to that man, that sweet, dear man, because of you…you'll wish you'd been eaten by the monster, or taken by The Others."
All, in all, June 21st, Andrews' actual birthday, had been anything but celebratory for her, as survivor after survivor had demonstrated their loyalty to Boone, and their mistrust of her.
She shook herself out of her reverie as Andrew came to tell her that Claire had said yes to the weeklong visit, but not until August, they were going away until then. As he ran out the back door, she headed for the office to tell Boone.
"You should have asked me before you told him it was okay, we need to work as a team here, you know we're his parents, with an "s" that's both of us." He lectured.
Jesus, who peed in his cornflakes, she wondered? She was still not used to the whole parenting thing. Why didn't a kid come with an instruction manual or rulebook?
"Fine, then, you tell him he can't go," she responded, sounding childishly petulant.
"Fuck! It's not about him not going. It's about us deciding together what he does." She was seriously pissing him off.
They argued back and forth for a few minutes, until Andrew appeared at the door. "Fighting again?" he asked, looking a little amused. He'd come to realize that there was no malice in their endless arguments; it was just how they were with each other. They stopped at the sound of his voice.
"Yeah," Boone looked a little sheepish; Shannon was still glaring at him. "So you're going to Charlie and Claire's?"
He nodded, "Shan said it'd be okay."
"Yes, I understand that she did." Boone shot her a nasty look.
Andrew hid his smile. "I just wanted to know if I can go to Kevin's?"
"It's okay with me, Boone, dear, what do you think?" she was all syrupy and innocent eyed.
He rolled his eyes and shook his head before dropping it to his hands in defeat.