Disclaimer: I intend no harm to people who can take these ideas and make them into good stories. I'm making fun of those that do not. I may even make fun of my own fic ("Destroyed by Fate," go read it. Please? Plug. God I'm lame), yet I still expect to be flamed for this.
Also, Grievous isn't mine. Sadly, he belongs to a man named George Lucas, or maybe Warren Fu. Not entirely sure about that one.
And so, without further ado, I present to you:
Grievous Clichés Part Trois: Redemption.
(Be warned—this chapter gets EXTREMELY weird, and has semi-MPREG...yeah. Like I said, weird.)
General Grievous grabbed the electrostaff and advanced on the cliff-dangling Obi-Wan. He eyed the Jedi coldly, with every intention to end the meddling scum's life. He lifted the staff over his head and went to thrust it into Obi-Wan's fleshy scalp.
"STOP!" Grievous spun around to find a girl behind him. She stood there, in a long, flowing, white linen dress. Her skin was reddish-tan, and scaly. Her eyes were golden, gently blended with blue into a swirl of elegant aqua. Small horns protruded from her long, slender ears. She had hair of golden sunshine…but it was like no sunshine Grievous had ever seen. Yet it warmed him like a mother's embrace. Aw so twee.
"What do you want, little girl?" Grievous snapped, hiding away any trace of the warmth the girl's ridiculous hair gave to him. "I'm busy right now!"
"You can't kill him!" the girl cried. "You love him!"
Grievous stared at the girl incredulously, then narrowed his eyes are started towards her with the electrostaff. How dare she accuse him of being in love with this…this…JEDI!
"You will pay for your interference, girl!" Grievous growled.
"Mother, please!" the girl cried. When Grievous continued advancing on her, the girl shut her eyes and extended her clawed, four-fingered hands, and suddenly, everything was black.
He was in a dying forest, surrounded by yellowing and reddish leaves. A young man with a padawan's braid was gently caressing him, running his hands over the General's chest…
The General ran his hands over his swollen belly, tears running down his face…
He stared into the beautiful, blue-and-gold eyes of a baby girl with light skin and small ears…
Suddenly, General Grievous could remember everything. His culture—wives were male, and husbands were female; his love affair with Obi-Wan, the dashing padawan with the ridiculous braid; the smacks he received for reading Kalee XXX on his…no, her…days off, and fantasizing about Obi-Dear. It was all clear as water to her now. Finally, she remembered her real name—Daisy…General Daisy "Grievous" Shakar.
The girl opened her eyes and stared into the eyes of her cybernetic mother. "Do you remember me now? I am Saraujdirial Shakar-Kenobi, half-Kaleesh, half-human, born with the power to utilize the Force. I am known as Sara."
"My DAUGHTER!" cried the now-emotional former murder machine named Daisy Shakar, running at the girl and grabbing her in a big hug, hacking into her ear. "So often back then I would wonder about you…how you were faring in this cold, pain-filled Galaxy…I'm so glad you are safe!"
Obi-Wan had climbed back onto the platform, and was watching the scene happily. After so many years, his family was reunited. After so many years, a being tricked by evil has returned to Light.
Suddenly, Daisy remembered—the Jedi! Sidious planned to destroy them all!
"Obi-Dear," said Daisy, standing up and turning back to the Jedi. "You must warn your comrades; Sidious plans to destroy them. They are all in danger!"
"Thank you, my love!" Obi-Wan alerted them via comlink, and all was right in the Galaxy again. "I shall leave the Jedi order to rejoin my beloved Daisy and Sara," he declared. "My apprentice is quite capable of taking care of himself, I'm sure. Or maybe he can join us!"
"Oh yes, my love!" Daisy said, wheezing. "Do invite him to join us!"
"I'm sure he would love it, living with us!" Sara added, then turned to Daisy. "Mother," said Sara. "I'm so glad we can be a family again…"
"Me too, Sara," said Daisy, coughing. "Me too."
And so they were happy, and forth they did go, unto friendlier places away from the troubles of the Galaxy. Daisy, Obi-Dear, and Saraujdirial moved to the planet Udinika, where their lives were lived for the Great Savior Udding, and his beloved wife Ushy, and they danced in green, thriving fields of flowers in honor of Udding. There was much stepping on feet due to Daisy's large durasteel claws, and many broken toes. But all was good, all was joyful, and Obi-Dear, Daisy, and Sara lived happily ever after.