disclaimer: don't own Yugioh or its characters.
author's note: Sorry for the lengthy delays in getting new chappies out on my fics...real life tends to leave little time to spare to do things like write sometimes.
Prince Atemu...age 15 1/2
I notice my last entry was that I was bored. Now I write in thoughts of that being a wish I have now.
I suppose I have neglected you a bit journal. My apologies. Well, I shouldn't be apologizing as it wasn't my fault I haven't been here in weeks or was that months? Father's health condition is definitely worsening. He has his good and bad days but the bad days are beginning to dominate. As heir and royal prince, I was sent from Thebes to lower Egypt to Memphis and Giza. Seto and Mahaado accompanied me. We went via royal barge down the Nile then chariot caravan from there. Two of father's elite squadrons were our escort. Actually they're not father's. He hates war and military matters. They're the "kingdom's" as father puts it. This was official business. Since father is too ill to perform tasks beyond the palace walls, I am now his replacement. I have the seal and power of pharaoh himself when I am outside of Thebes. I am unsure exactly what was contained within the scrolls I delivered, but if they had to personally be delivered by the crowned prince of Egypt, then they had to be very important. Otherwise, we could've just sent a royal messenger. There were scrolls for the main military encampment there as well as the high priests who keep the once capital there running smoothly in father's name.
That aside, I am back in the palace in Thebes. For once I can say I'm actually glad to be back here. Sure the pyramids are a sight to behold and the fertile delta of the lower Nile is like nothing seen up here. But, there's something to be said about being 'home.' Besides, I'll be picking sand out of all the places it has managed to creep upon my body for the next two seasons! I have renewed sympathy for the soldiers who have to live amongst the sands day in and day out. They will probably never get all the sand picked off their bodies in a lifetime.
On a lighter note, I cannot write in this thing without thoughts of Asru now can I? Every rise and fall of the Aten had me thinking about her while I was away. Wait, allow me to backup. I probably missed some vital happenings before all this serious, 'professional' stuff.
Father spoke with Asru's father within I'd say a week after speaking with me about it. Luckily for me, Asru's father is a religious man. He believes in destiny as much if not moreso than father. So, like father, he has decided to allow fate and destiny to enact upon our lives. If it's meant to be it will. If not, it won't. Simple. Well, not quite. Both of them imposed strict rules upon us. Asru moved into the palace as expected, but I am forbidden from the wing of the palace from which she resides. It so happens that the wing she's in is also the wing of father's harem. It is very well protected. Only females and eunuchs are permitted beyond its guarded entranceway. Worse yet, Asru is not permitted in the royal wing. Is it me or has our fathers caused a sort of celibacy between us? How is destiny to play out if we can't see each other? All this smells of a game. But, I am a master of games and UNDEFEATED. These restrictions are a minor hurdle if thought in gaming perspective. Sending me off to the other end of the kingdom, well that was more of a major hurdle.
A newer hurdle is now is my increased tasks and responsibilities. Father doesn't see court everyday like he usually does. In his absence, I and Grand Vizier, Shimon as well as the Chosen High Priests preside. When I must preside over court, father makes me wear the Millenium Puzzle as a show of authority. What? Being the royal prince and heir isn't enough? But as I learned in my first session, it is difficult for those much older than I to take a mere 'kid' seriously no matter what his rank is. Hey wait, when I am 'in power', that means I can ratify rules. Perhaps I should ratify the two Asru and I face? We can hardly see each other within the palace. It is actually worse now then when I used to sneak out of the palace to see her! She is being taught the ways of her soon-to-be new status of royal princess so the ladies have her busy. I am basically the "subsitute pharaoh" so I'm busy as well.
Oh and if you're wondering...yes, father officially betrothed Asru and I. It's now public knowledge. So is my virginity thanks to Seto's crocadilian mouth. He's just lucky father was presiding during that remark. I would've made him swim nude with the crocs and hippos in the Nile for three hours for that remark if I were on duty. He could've become a eunuch then he'd become high priest of the ladies' wing. That would have shut him up. He's easy to control however. I've come to find that he's all bark and no bite. He tries to bite, but all one has to do is insult his manhood and he shuts right up and simply stares with a seething expression. I'm not sure why that is. Perhaps one day when I become Pharaoh I will have to find out if that is a physical or mental issue with him. He makes my private parts a public matter. Perhaps his should be as well. Turnabout is fair play afterall, but I will be smart enough to wait until my rank is sufficient. As prince and he a high priest, soon to be my right hand commander, his rank is nearly equal to mine right now. I must be king to outrank him. And before you say it back to my journal, I am aware that I dislike rank, especially pulling rank. But alas, Seto is an even and very worthy match for myself. He's got at least three more years of age than I do and seemingly equal that in our physical height difference. I must even the odds at little more...rank will do that for me. In due respect to him, I prefer even odds against Seto rather than either of us having better odds than the other. It makes for a more insteresting and challenging match afterall.
And yes, I am suddenly speaking about rank and status again. As much as I dislike and actually despise it, it's a fact of life for now. It holds our society and culture together. Until I can loosen and break down some of that, I must adhere to it. I can't do anything about it until I'm pharaoh. And right now I have to show I'm worthy of my present rank and future one. I must win the respect of all and most of all, the military and presiding court. Unfortunately for me, that includes Seto too. But I've already proven myself to those whom are the same generation and below mine. My largest issue will be the stubborn, conservative, traditionally bound older generations of my father's and the few that are older than even him. They dislike a mere 'boy' sitting upon the throne controlling their lives. I'm actually growing tired of being called, 'boy.' And, thanks again to Seto, I'm a 'boy' until I prove myself as a 'man.' That means sex in simplest terms. I suppose that is a form of 'peer pressure'...a term I hear many an adolescent speak about inside and outside the palace walls.
I guess Asru is on the same front as I. The ladies tell her she's no woman until she beds a man. The solution is simple for both of us. Too bad we barely see one another. I told her there is a thing termed a 'quickie' that I heard of among the soliders. She giggled and said if that's the standard I can perform then I must have more practice by myself. Was that an insult? I'm trying to find a way around both our predicaments and our schedules and she's wanting something beyond that regardless of situations at hand? What is it with females? And Asru's definitely learning her role nicely (bad for me). She's taking her firey personality and adding a royal attitude to it. She'll be one dangerous princess and perhaps queen. I certainly wouldn't want to cross her path. Oh wait, I have little choice in that matter do I? What have I gotten myself into? Is that the folly of all males? We are enticed then succumb to the very thing we require for survival of our bloodline? Humbled by sexuality and the power of females? Hmm, there's something to contemplate. Is there or has there ever been a male who has won that game of life? Perhaps I need to be the first? But I fear if I do so, I will also be the last. It might be a useless attempt and I have little need to feed my ego. And from what I've experienced with mother and so forth, it's not all that bad to succumb to females. They do many things better than males anyway. Males just worry too much about their egos and that thing that sways between our legs. Which side am I on? Neither. An ancient, wise king once said, "A true king will be the one who walks the in-between." I'll take that to mean several aspects of life.
Regardless, at least I can get fleeting glimpses of my Asru at meals, festivities, and other social gatherings. We have a bit of game of it now in attempt to see or spend time with each other. And for me, it is very difficult to disguise myself as a eunuch...not-to-mention, it downright HURTS to bind that area of my body (and makes me walk funny, but I try to hide that fact). And for her, I hardly think she enjoys playing a whiny, flea-infested, dung-smelling peasant girl now that she has a position well above such. But alas, each of our disguises gets us into areas previously forbidden. Oh Ra! The things we do when we're in love eh? Did I just admit that? Nah, not on the record...though I suppose it's rightfully true. I just don't wish to admit that in the presence of Seto. He'd take that as a weakness and naturally, exploit it.
Speaking of which. Mana won't speak to me at all. I met her with Mahaado in the hall prior to court one day and all she did was pull a "Seto" on me by 'hmphing', sticking her nose in the air, and cockily storming out of my view. Mahaado and I were left shrugging in confused states at her behavior. Naturally Mahaado asked me what I did to her this time. I didn't to anything to her! I don't usually do anything mean to her anyway. I'm usually very kind to her...usually, aside from a little brotherly teasing and taunting. She's testing my good-nature towards her now. I'm not sure how to deal with her. That's a personal issue I'll have to add to my growing multitude of tasks that are quickly filling up my days and spilling into my nights. Did father do this everyday? Is he nuts! Maybe this is what drove him to be ill? I know one thing, when I'm pharaoh, these business hours are going to change! Father may be a workaholic, but I know better. Even our servants don't work these kind of hours. There is no reason for the pharaoh to. He's the divine ruler of this kingdom who can alter rules as he sees fit. Well, this will likely be my first one...or rather second one. The first one will be to grant myself easier access to Asru.
I'm speaking as if father has already left this world. I fear it won't be long though. The doctors have no idea what is causing his failing health, but he is falling fast. Mahaado is acting a bit strange too. I wonder if he knows something?
I guess only time will tell. For now, I've got to leave it at that journal. These next days, weeks, or even months will leave little time for me to enjoy much of anything...even writing here. I will try to write when I can however...if I haven't passed out in exhaustion first. I think I even plucked a grey hair out of my own hair today. I sure hope it was just an overly blonde strand and not a grey one. I don't want those things when I haven't even seen my sixteenth year yet! This job will do it to you though. I'm fast learning that.
Oh, and on a final, lighter note...I gave Seto his just dues...I 'accidently' tripped him up and he stumbled into a pile of still steaming dung from our military horses. New motto: "Act like shit, smell like shit."