A/N: hii! I don't have any reviews yet, so I'm gonna update to get more
Chapter Two:
I collapsed in a near-dead heap on the floor of the living room. Actually, I probably could have been taken for dead, considering my face…but that's beside the point. As I lay there, flushed and sweating, head buried in the plush, luxurious Persian carpet, I had one question: how do they do it! I had been trying to get past the first three steps of what the instructional video called a "simple" hip-hop routine for the past hour or so. The routine had looked easy enough when Missy Elliot did it, but I mean seriously! I was in my mid-life crisis years, I wasn't in the right physical state for such things! After I started to breathe again, and had regained some color into my face, I tried again.
One, two, step, step, shimmy shake-it, bounce, pop it, pop-it, jump, one, two, step and pose!
"That sucked monkey tushy!"
I turned around at the sound of a voice other than my own and saw my old friend, Nadir staring back at me. He had always been terrible at hiding amusement, and I could see in his eyes a mocking smile. I gave him my most sinister glare, and the mockery immediately changed to fear.
"Do you think that you can do any better?" I said
"actually, yes." He said those words with such calm certainty that I had to laugh out loud.
I almost immediately regretted it as I watched in growing rage and jealousy as the chubby Persian proceeded to go through each step that I had just miserably failed at performing with such grace and agility that I had never seen him exercise before!
"WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DANCE LIKE THAT!" I demanded, promptly tightening a Punjab Lasso around his neck.
"stoghhhh stranglhhh mhhh anghhh mebghhh youlghhh unghhstanghhh"
"I have no time for your damn nonsensical babble!"
As I watched my only friend prying and clawing at the lasso around his neck, I noticed the reason for his 'babble'. I loosened the lasso just enough so he could still talk.
"it…..is…..quite hard………..to have so many…women…..at your house…….and not…..pick up any dancing…..skills…..from…at least one…..of them" he replied, gasping for air at intervals.
"Of course!" I said.
I should have known it! I was about to come to the solution of hiring a bunch of prostitutes to teach me to dance, when I noticed that no one in their right mind would go home with a living corpse, no matter how much money they were offered. That's when it came to me... I need someone who wasn't in their right mind, and owed a certain living corpse a buttload of favors!
"Nadir.." I said, slowly. "teach me to dance."