disclaimer: don't own Yugioh or its characters.
author's note: Sorry for the lengthy delays in getting new chappies out on my fics...real life tends to leave little time to spare to do things like write sometimes. There is only ONE more entry after this one and then this fic will be COMPLETE!
Prince Atemu...age just turned 16
It has been a while since I have written in this hasn't it? Sorry journal, life has been too busy to allow me even the briefest of moments to scribe my thoughts down.
The past week has witnessed my sixteenth turn and father's death mere days after. My coronation as pharaoh is set to begin with the next rise of the Aten. May Anubis and Osiris guide my father to his Afterlife. His heart is pure. I have no doubts in him attaining it, but the path is still laden with danger. Akunadin is personally scribing the Book of the Dead upon the walls of father's tomb. I have ordered all torches upon the palace's high walls lit. This will bring truth to the rumors around the villages that the pharaoh has indeed passed away and a new one will rise in his wake. The magical blue flame burns brightly atop father's dueling tower. It will be burned and destroyed and all monster slabs he utilized will be buried with him so that he may protect himself and his sacred resting chamber. Upon the still smoldering ashes of father's dueling tower, mine will rise. I have very few monsters under my control, but they are strong and loyal. Perhaps the god monsters themselves will support me, for they have listened to no other pharaoh since the dawn of this dark magic. One pharaoh is to rise and be chosen by the gods to rule these creatures. I am hoping I am worthy enough. Our lands need protection and I am assuming rulership before I even feel ready. I've already been informed of bandits pressing our kingdom's borders to test the new 'boy' king. Priests Seto, Karim, and Shaadi have sent extra troops forth 'to assert our continued confidence and power upon the infidels" as Seto puts it. If it weren't for his participation in father's funerary preparations, I would bet my right arm that Seto would be out there slaughtering a few of said infidels.
Mahaado and Mana are busy with preparations of my coronation ceremony. Luckily for me, it will be brief. There's simply no time for a drawn out ceremony. A king must be seated upon the throne to assure the stability of this kingdom. Shimon and mother are busy with the details of both ceremonies. Oh how I wish I could just curl up in mother's arms right now. She's being so strong and I'm trying my best to emulate her, but with father gone...both of us feel the loss in our hearts. Guess that's why mother is keeping herself busy, so she doesn't have to think about it all. I am being told to do the same. Shimon is snapping at me about this or that or the other thing. But none of it is reaching my ears. I'm in a state of, well, I'm really not sure how to explain it. All I know is everything is happening so fast and the life I once had is gone forever. Change is never easy.
And suddenly, as I flip back through this journal, I look at my most pressing issues. How petty they were! How can I ponder around like a lovesick puppy now! I have an entire kingdom to run. Hundreds if not thousands of lives depend on my very words and actions. My personal wishes and wants can no longer exist. I am here to protect and serve my people. The kingdom and its well being is my responsibility and I determine the course of history. On such a grand scale, will I ever have any time for myself? Will I ever be able to define who I am as a person? I had all these plans for 'when I'm king' but now, they seem petty and selfish. My entire life is directed towards the greater goal of the kingdom and people within it. I only hope I can live up to my peoples' expectations. I'm still young...still have much to learn and experience. I hope they are patient with me for I must 'learn as I go.' I did not get all the schooling and experience that is usually attained by princes who become kings at later ages. As much as I don't like saying this, but I think Shimon will become a very vital part of my rule. He will retain the position of Grand Vizier and his experience will prove invaluable in guiding me as king.
Despite all this pressure and change, my thoughts turn to my normal ponderings in this journal...namely Asru. Poor girl, what have I got her into? I can't even guess what she's going through right now...as the potential 'queen'. She didn't grow up with the expectation of becoming such nor the schooling. All this must be a bit frightening to her. By Ra, it's frightening to me and I've KNOWN this day would happen to me at some point!
Our wedding is to be simultaneous with the coronation from what I've been hearing. With me being so young, the elders of the palace think it is wise to show a mature standing by taking a bride immediately. They say it will comfort the people to see that I am not the mere boy I appear to be. Boy! I'm sixteen! Not a boy. I have heard of some of the village boys and even boys employed within the palace marrying by age 14. I'd consider myself a little behind in the trend to manhood, but not for my lack of trying. My position and other mud-filled details prevent a hasty marriage. Though it seems that a hasty marriage is exactly what it has become now. Old men and their ironies. I hope I never become such. It's a good thing those old men haven't learned that I'm still untouched. That would send the bulk of them to the afterlife rather quickly. I suppose that little fact though will not remain much longer. Consummation of the marriage will likely have to occur nearly as quickly as my rise to the throne. A rise for a rise? Well, that was certainly a pathetic attempt at humor. I just hope we're both ready for it all. I know mother wanted the marriage to happen before father joined the Afterlife, but apparently the gods decreed otherwise. I just wonder if I can live up to Asru's expectations, whatever they may be. Live up? There I go with that pathetic humor again or is it my mind is actually catching up to what my body wants and is starting to 'go there' as well? Ahh, this is not the time to ponder THAT one. May Ra give me as much prowess in THAT aspect of life as he has with my gaming abilities.
All these years I've been striving to become older, to be seen and respected among adults and now I find myself wishing I could rewind and be that innocent, naive little child again. That was a time where I could cry (a lot), and whine, and do all sorts of unroyal things and not be scrutinized for them. Now, if I ever fall back to anything of the such, it could be seen as a weakness...to the entire kingdom. I already know I will have to actually earn the respect of many of the elders and the military. War-hardened soldiers rarely take kindly to being commanded by a 'boy'...even if he is a king. It is always the older generations that have the hardest time adapting to change. I am a bit concerned that Akunadin will remain as one of my High Priests. He may be father's brother and all, but there's something about him that gives me reason to be wary. His only real eye shows an inner soul of torment. Something is really bothering him, yet nobody dares question about it...not even father. If father didn't do such, neither will I. Still though, in a phrase more akin to my age, he "creeps me out!"
The other High Priests...Karim, Shaadi, Mahaado, Isis, and Seto are older than I, but closer to my age, than ancient Akunadin and Shimon. It is good to know I do have a female High Priest though. It is always good to have the fairer gender represented as I've noticed with mother and Asru, they tend to see a situation from a perspective that is often one a male doesn't see. It will be good for me as king, to see all sides of a topic or issue, not just the masculine. Mana remainds Mahaado's student, but I wonder how much time Mahaado will have to teach her now that he is a full-time High Priest. Before, he and Seto, with the others, were shadows of father's High Priests. They would stand in the background and learn from them at least until one met their demise, then they would have to step forward into the position as Seto had...even before they served me. Shimon used to be a High Priest, but is now only Grand Vizier, having relinquished the position to Shaadi. Only Akunadin remains from father's priesthood and I will look upon that as a positive thing...he can help my fledgling priests with his experience and knowledge just as Shimon will assist me with that matter. I guess I'm the 'baby' of the court being the youngest of all the high ranks. That's a bit unnerving, but not something I will ever show outwardly.
I guess this 'promotion' to king also means my little antics as prince are to be retired. It'll be much more difficult for me to sneak out of the palace in the middle of the night to go forth on my nightly expeditions of adventure and mayhem in the village. Poor Tem...maybe he'll return someday...I WILL be the King of Games afterall and I can never resist a challenge. This challenge will be to get around all the added security that a divine pharaoh has. Shouldn't be too hard for a skilled gamer like myself. My main concern is will I be too tired from the everyday life of a pharaoh. Being bored can make one tired awfully fast. Wonder if I can fall asleep on the throne? Actually, it's not a question of if I can, but if I can get away with it without being reprimanded for it. Father looked so bored there sometimes! I know I'll have a problem with that. Maybe I'll play a few pranks or jokes on the serious High Priests to liven things up in there? The greatest challenge will be getting around Shimon. Shimon may be old, but he still has the eyes of an eagle, the ears of a bat, the nose of a dog, and the reflexes of an ambusing croc. Wow, perhaps that is why he looks so goofy? You didn't hear that from me. Those are all good traits...honest!
And then there's me...a jackal in king's cloth. Always conniving, always pondering, always adapting...ready for a game at any instant and in any form. Will Horus protect a jackal? I'm certainly no divine falcon. But if I am a jackal, that makes Seto a hyena. That guy's cackling laugh is enough to unnerve even the stoutest of foes. And he must struggle to enter the throne room everyday with that ego as large as it is. But he has a good bite...if used in the right situation and his dueling skills are bested only by my own. Mahaado, Isis, and Shaadi are my cheetahs...always on the prowl and can spring into action with the blink of an eye. Karim and Akunadin are my leopards...highly skilled, very strong in their ways, and deadly in their independence. And finally...Mana...the beacon reminder of my youth. She may hate my guts right now for reasons not even I know, but she will always be that shining dove of youthful vigor to me.
Asru will be my lioness. My mighty Queen of the Hunt. She stalked and pounced on my heart as if it were a crippled wildebeast. Her firey attitude will be matched by the sharp claws of her dignified status. As I said, jackals are very good at adapting to anything...even taming a lioness. But, I must always remember to be wary of her bite and swipe. For if I'm ever caught off-guard by this huntress, she'll be sure to put me in my place...beneath her...in probably more ways than my young mind can even imagine. She learns and adapts faster than a falcon in full dive. This jackal has definitely met his match and is continuously enticed in the enormous challenge before him. If I can take one lesson learned from her and put it to good use it is this: "Don't give up. Don't EVER give up." Look what she got from that lesson...one whipped royal boy and a status that most peasants can only dream of. Okay, maybe I'm getting a bit extreme...I am NOT whipped...not entirely anyway. But mother uses it on me often enough in regards to my young soon-to-be queen.
Ahh mother...without father your soul feels like an empty shell. The mighty lion has given up his chase and the sleek and swift antelope can now run free. But will you? You seem lost. Mother, I am still here. I need you, more than ever now. Father has entered his migration to the Afterlife, but don't you think about following him so soon. I can feel it in my bones...read it in your soul. You want to follow him, be with him...in eternal life. The gods will permit this I know, but please, not so soon. I am powerless to prevent it I know, but I fear I can lose my way without your guidance and caring support. You are my foundation. I am nothing without your kind eyes and graceful form soothing my aching soul. Father's departure left a wound in my heart. Please don't drive the dagger further. Why am I writing this to you, journal, this is something I should be saying to her directly! I can be so stupid sometimes! Oh, you didn't hear that from me either.
I hear Shimon's annoying yell...and it speaks my name. I must conclude this entry and get back to the hectic yet mundane formalities of life once again.
Dear journal, there will only be one more entry before I retire you. I do not know when that will be, but I give you my word that I will return...one last time.
Prince/Pharaoh Atemu.