Smartass and the Pharmacist
Author's note: I'll keep updating as long as you keep showin' me you like the story!
I do not own any part of 'House' or its characters
Gregory and Angela House stepped out of the elevator and walked off towards the clinic in a comfortable silence, with drugs and electronics to entertain themselves in the coming hours. Greg House broke the silence with a clinic duty pep talk for his niece.
"Before we go save the lives of the lowly sick people I need to know that you remember what I told you about clinic behavior, just so no one gets sued or beaten…so, what did I tell you?"
"Ummm…I know this one…oh! Canes are for walking not wacking."
"And…"
"And…uh…not to play with the syringes."
"Yes! We wouldn't want another situation like what happened last time, would we?"
"Hey! I told you that was an accident, c'mon give me a little credit here!"
"Fine, just make sure it doesn't happen again. And you just remember I'm in charge here, not Cuddy, what I say goes!"
"Aye, Aye uncle boss man. Golly you must feel so very powerful ordering around kids."
House grabbed the first file he saw and playfully smacked Angie on the side of the head.
"Oh your just lucky I like you, if you hit anyone else they would file a complaint. Huh…and you have the nerve to call me mean." Angie mumbled almost sounding serious.
House smiled and opened the file, "Dover, Ilene! Your with me in exam room one."
Greg, followed by Angie and Ilene, strolled into the exam room and took a seat next to the counter, Angela pulled up a stool and Ilene sat on the exam table.
"So Mrs. Dover it says here that you have been suffering from chest pains and slight difficulty breathing." Stated House getting down to business.
"Yes, it feels as if I'm being choked, it feels…it feels like my chest is being compressed."
House nodded knowingly and did the doctorly thing and checked her heart with his trusty stethoscope and again nodded.
"Ok Ilene the ol' ticker seems to be in fine working order, but I'm going to need you to remove your shirt."
Ilene Dover sighed, looked upset over the inconvenience, but obeyed. Off came her dainty blue blouse to reveal a lacey black bra. House's gaze fell to the woman's under garment and shook his head slightly. Seeing her uncle's unusual reaction to the woman's bra and knowing right where this was going, Angie shuffled through the contents of the rooms drawers until she came to what she was looking for. Angela handed House a long tape measure with a grin, who then wrapped it around his patient's chest and once again shook his head.
"Huh! Way off!" House said while tossing the tape measure back to Angie.
"What! …What is it, is something wrong?" Ilene pleaded sounding quite worried.
"Uh huh, pretty undies, but next time get the right size! You see Mrs. Dover the reason you've been experiencing chest pains is that your bra is too tight. If when wearing a looser bra you still feel that your chest is being compressed come back for another visit."
"Uh, alright, yes, thank you" Ilene Dover put on a grateful smile and walked out feeling thoroughly embarrassed.
Angie closed the door behind the first patient of the day and turned to Greg and rolled her eyes. Greg pops a few Vicodin and smirks, "Another satisfied customer."
"Yeah I can really see why you complain about this job so much, looking at boobs is exhausting."
"Yes it's a very grueling task, but in order to make my fellow man, or woman, more comfortable than I would be willing to look at dozens, no hundreds, of boobs."
"Oh my! How noble of you!" Angie stated, faking all the admiration she could.
"Of course, all in a day's work, now lets see how long we can avoid work without Cuddy taking notice."
"You sure? There may be more boobs out there."
"I'll risk it, in here I have an ipod, gameboy, pills and a helper monkey!"
"Well mister I'd hate to be the rain on your on your cute little parade here, but your not touchin' my ipod and you only have two pills left."
"About the ipod I was gunna say 'please'! And since my helper monkey is just so helpful I thought you'd like to fill me up while I try to kill the big bad monkey!" House said giddily then pulled out his gameboy and a prescription, and handed the latter to his niece.
"That last sentence was so very wrong. Alright, plenty of Vicodin coming up…master!" Angela folded her arms before her and bowed her head, "I Dream of Jeannie" style.
Angela stalked out of the room, not feeling upset, but feeling like Ilene did when she had to strip, inconvenienced. Oh boy! A trip to the pharmacy, that's just what I wanted! And to make matters worse there was a line up, and the person ahead of Angie was Dr. Allison Cameron. Angie feeling that she should make her presence known, she called out to the doctor.
"Hey, lady!"
Cameron whirled around startled by the girl's shout, "Hi Angela, House getting you to fill his prescription?"
"Uh huh, he claims I'm his niece but I'm really just his drug dealer. And please just call me "Angie'. What should I call you?"
"Well…you've met Dr. Chase, What do you call him?"
"Oh you don't want me to call you what I call him! Is Cameron fine with you? Its what Greg calls you."
After a little laugh she responded, "yeah, Cameron's fine…oh I'm next…nice talking to you."
"Alright…you too." Angie managed to say, people never told her it was nice speaking with her. Cameron took the meds she received and smiled goodbye, which Angie acknowledged with a little wave. She stepped up to the counter and slapped down the prescription signed by Dr. James Wilson.
"Fill me up Scotty."
TBC