Within the Mirage Epilogue

Notes: I know, I know. I said it was over, but it wouldn't leave me alone! Besides, I know you were all DYING to find out what Jack dreamt of, yes? And you know I love humour. Oh yes. It's time has come.

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The setting was Switzerland, the snowy mountainous expensive film location part. The sun was just slipping beneath the rocky horizon, and inside a secret base cut into the mountain side, secret agent Jack Harkness (007…and a half) was about to make his most thrilling escape ever.

"You vill never get away! Never!" cried Johannes Van der Schmutt. Jack smiled and held up a pair of handcuffs that made the German spit in anger.

"I think you'll find I already have," he said smoothly.

"Seize him!" screamed Van der Schmutt. Some anonymous henchmen came into frame. Jack floored them all with ease. Van der Schmutt rose to his feet, dropping his cat.

"You tink you can defeat me that easily?" he said, giving him a weird high pitched giggle. "Too bad for you-hoo!"

Jack just raised an eyebrow and tossed his watch to the floor. Van der Schmutt looked at it, bewildered.

"You try to stop me with a digital watch?" he asked. The watch beeped innocently as Jack dived out of the window onto the jet ski that was waiting for him. He slammed his fist onto a button on the very high-tech dashboard as he roared off into the night. The watch exploded obediently and the base erupted into a ball of flame, which of course Jack avoided.

He sped down the hillside, pulling on a very sexy pair of ski goggles. Of course, this was not the end of Van der Schmutt.

The mechanical growl of two more jet skis could be heard over Jack's own. The explosion of bullets that narrowly missed him told his keen secret agent senses that they were carrying…some form of weapon…

Not to worry though, because a well placed forest was rushing towards them, courtesy of the extravagant budget. Jack steered the jet ski so it looked as though it would crash into a tree, deceiving the one behind him so that the German met the tree, and he met the open air. One down, one to go.

He pressed another button. Two rockets launched from the back of the jet ski, without pausing to wonder where they had been hiding before this in the small, sleek machine. Dutifully they shot towards the second jet ski. The hapless German riding it could be heard to swear violently before he too was incinerated.

Jack rode on, the wind whipping his hair into a ruggedly handsome style as he neared a small log cabin that really had no place in the deserted mountain side. Despite this, there was obviously some form of fire blazing inside from the light spilling onto the snow. The secret agent skidded to an unnecessarily showy halt at the door, climbing from the machine. He took off his ski goggles and swept back his hair as he flung open the door, disturbing a beautiful young woman who was sat inside. The bedroom door was left temptingly open, and the woman's eyes glinted in the firelight as she reclined on the sofa, seeming to have no other purpose in the story than to look attractive.

She looked suspiciously like Stella, but was wearing a lot less.

She got to her feet as he crossed the floor to meet her. Taking her in his arms, he smiled his most charming smile.

"Coming to bed, Miss Brinley?" he whispered. She gasped.

"But Mr Harkness! We barely know each other!" she said, smiling just a little. Jack grinned.

"Ah yes," he said, kissing her neck. "But you forget…I'm the hero. I've just blown up several Germans and I have…" He kissed her again. "…ruggedly handsome hair." He gazed into her eyes and she stared right back. "And doesn't that turn you on?"

Stella had to admit that it did.

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Oh MAN that was fun to write. I think I just destroyed every single respectable spy book there is. I know it was unnecessary…but if any of my regulars can honestly say they didn't enjoy it, THEN you can send me death threats. Oh goodness…(laughs to herself)…that was so much fun…AND SO POINTLESS!

Eevee