Nanny-chan: Ummm... I noticed that one reviewer asked if Genma was gay or not... And I guess you could say that I make him gay...
All Conservative Readers: (start to stone Nanny)
Nanny-chan: Now! That does NOT mean that any heavy sex scenes of any sort will be found in this story... sorry... I'm just not into writing that kind of stuff...
All Liberal Readers: (start to stone Nanny)
Evil Nanny-chan: But youDO think Genma and Raido look cute together as do Kakashi and Iruka.
Nanny-chan: (blushes) Do not...
Evil Nanny-chan: But you've written... stuff... before...
Iruka: NANNY-CHAN!
Nanny-chan: Sorry, sorry...! I was just trying it out...
Evil Nanny-chan: What about your other newer fics?
Nanny-chan: You wrote that... not me... and it's PG-rated... sort of...
Iruka: ...
Kakashi: She needs to see a doctor...
I do not own Naruto (sobs)…. Which is probably a good thing….
Last Night in Konoha Spent….
Later on that evening, walking home from a quiet snack at the IchiRaku Ramen shop, Iruka stopped by the training grounds and the memorial. As he hoped, Kakashi was standing there looking at the black stone, his eyes far away.
Well, Obito. It's going to be awhile before I see this spot again. This mission is going to keep me away from Konoha for a seriously long time. Unless, the attackers – if they exist – do something soon and I clear the matter up quickly. But odds are my life is going to be rather complicated and busy and rushed for the next few months.
Kakashi sighed. Protection missions such as these were mainly easy but often took time and involved lots of people – which was troublesome for ninjas who liked to have alone times.
Speaking of being alone, it seems as if my own personal pest has arrived.
"Iruka." Kakashi said.
"Hey, Kakashi." Iruka shuffled. He cleared his throat nervously. "Uh…. I just wanted to double-check that you aren't too mad at me."
"Why would you care?"
"Uh… well…. You're going pretty far away – probably the farthest a Konoha ninja has gone…. If you were to – not that you wouldn't –"
"You aren't making much sense, Iruka-sensei."
"If we were to part forever, I wouldn't want to part on bad terms. I'd never hear the end of it from Naruto."
Iruka smoothed his wild ponytail down.
Kakashi turned away from the memorial slightly irked by the Chuunin's continual pickiness.
What the heck? Parting forever? He's acting as if these were a big thing. Who does he think I am? His lover? His student? Naruto?
"Uh…. Well… no, I'm not mad at anything…. So you can just go – and – uh – do your thing or whatever..." Kakashi frowned and turned back to the memorial, with a definite I-am-busy-now-so-please-leave stance.
Iruka blinked.
"But you slammed the door in my face just earlier! I don't –"
Kakashi frowned. "I don't like being disturbed before missions – like to get as much peace and quiet as I can," he said, slowly, hoping Iruka would get the hint.
Iruka frowned.
"I'm not going to let you feel like a nobody. Everybody is important to me! I just want to let you know that you will be missed."
"Great," Kakashi said, wishing he could (gently) knock the teacher unconscious. "Now I feel warm and fuzzy. You've done your job! Now please, let me be."
Iruka looked down at his feet, hurt.
Kakashi could just feel it. He sighed.
There goes any hope of peace and quiet tonight.
He turned and stalked away.
"Let's go get a drink at the tavern," he said casually. "There'll be others there, no doubt."
Iruka ran after him.
"Wait up, bastard!"
"What the heck! I'm not the bastard who made somebody go insane with his Mr. Sensitive act!"
Iruka's forehead wrinkled with worry. "Was I bothering you?"
"Of course you were! It's your purpose in life – is it not?" Kakashi looked sideways at the Chuunin. Iruka's normally happy face was expressionless. "Just kidding, 'Ruka. I'm just wanting to get some peace and quiet before I go on a crazy mission like the one I got."
Iruka sighed.
"I just feel bad – it was either this one or taking care of Shenshiro-san."
Kakashi shuddered.
"It's okay, Iruka."
Iruka, reaching the tavern first, turned and leaned against one of its walls.
He looked down at his feet, while Kakashi, jumped down and stood, slouching in front of him.
"I guess…. I just didn't want you mad at me."
"I don't really see this as important." Kakashi said. "You're stressing over something ridiculous. It's getting really stupid."
"Yeah. I guess. I just don't want to be bothersome."
"You are being bothersome when you go all bizarre like that." Kakashi paused. "But what's with this fear of being bothersome?"
"I'm always in the way…."
"Heh. You should join Sakura's club."
"Yeah, well, Sakura's changing. I'm not."
Kakashi rocked back on his heels, shocked. He could hardly believe his ears. For almost four years, Iruka had taught at the Academy – a record for a young shinobi – especially a Chuunin. Most shinobi quitted after a few months. But Iruka was as steady as the foundation that held up the building. To hear words of self-doubt, discontent and worry coming from a normally bouncy cheerleader type was stunning for Kakashi.
Then he smiled.
"I have been there," he nodded.
Déjà vu. Except I'm the father figurehere, I guess.
"You WOULD say that," Iruka snorted.
"I was there," repeated Kakashi. "Several months ago. I had reached a plateau just as you have reached one."
Iruka looked up.
"What did you do?" he asked.
"What did I do?" Kakashi asked. "You should know what I did. You sit beside Tsunade."
"Uh… she said you were training."
"So you should train too."
"But I have nothing special! Even the Rookie Nine have more special traits individually than me!"
"Yes, but you are the one who taught them everything." Kakashi said. "You're probably – no, you ARE – smarter than the whole bunch. Use those brains of yours. Think up your own jutsus – just like I have. Or do research on some old, forgotten ones – or something."
Genma looked at Iruka. "Yeah, Iruka. You're only a chuunin – you'll really need to prep up your weakling skills. Don't think Orochimaru's going to fall over listening to your lecture on the henge technique."
"Although," Raido said, with a twinkle in his eye, "I've heard that Iruka can be either sleep-inducing or scary…."
Iruka jumped up banging his fists on the table.
"I do SO have SKILLS! I just don't run around trying to impress people with them for quick sexual pleasures – like you guys do!"
"Uhhhh… count me out on that one," Kakashi said, waving his hands looking embarrassed at the thought.
"Huh, well, Iruka, why don't you go spar with Kakashi? I'm sure both of you could use the extra ….. training…." Genma quirked his senbon suggestively.
Iruka yelled.
Raido sighed.
Iruka sighed and blushed painfully, remembering Genma's words. "He said I had weakling skills."
"Eh?" asked Kakashi.
"Genma."
"You LISTEN to him?"
"Um… well… don't you think he's right?"
Kakashi rubbed his forehead.
What the heck? Where's the Hokage? Isn't she supposed to be the one managing the morale and the state of her shinobi? I'm not the best substitute for a shrink.
"Iruka." Kakashi took a deep breath. "My father once told me a wise saying and you would do well to remember it."
Iruka looked up.
"What makes a shinobi is not his jutsu but love, loyalty, courage and hard work. That's what he said."
Iruka nodded.
"Now. Knowing that," Kakashi said. "We must go forward and fortify ourselves. I'm off to a very boring mission and you are to train yourself. I don't want to hear anymore on this matter. It is seriously getting old."
He walked into the tavern.
Immediately an inebriated roar sounded.
Iruka, following closely, saw that a large amount of Jounin were still there.
"Where've you guysh been?" Gai slurred gently, his cheeks slightly pink with drink.
"You have to ask?" Genma took another drink, glaring at Raido, who was grabbing him under the table
Anko smacked the ashen-haired Jounin.
"You guys!"
"Yo!" Kakashi said. "I need your help. Iruka is in the dumps –"
"Kakashi is going on a very long mission," whispered Raido in explanation to Anko.
Kakashi glared at the scarred Jounin.
"As I said, Iruka is in the dumps – so I thought a drinkwould be a great idea."
"Uh… Kakashi… I think I'll just drink some juice or some tea or –"
The tavern fell under a blanket of silence as everybody stopped talking and stared.
"How long has this been going on for?" asked Asumo in deep shock, nearly eating his cigarette.
"He's only a Chuunin, Asumo," Kurenai said, shaking her head. "He's young."
"I think I've got a heart attack coming on….."
"No, it's probably your overdue lung cancer."
Anko dropped her beer.
"Juice in a bar? What the heck? Who's been educating him?"
"Nobody. Stop scaring him, Anko," said Shizune coming up behind Iruka. "I'll set him up with a safe alcoholic drink."
"Shafe?" asked Gai.
"Ummm…. Just leave it be…" Raido murmured as Shizune led the tomato-red, almost-bursting Chuunin away from their large booth.
Gai turned to Kakashi and flashed his teeth at him, causing the silver-haired Jounin to flinch.
"So… Kakashi…. Let's test our manliness and compete in a drinking game."
"Uh…. No. Not before a mission."
"But you could do this mission, I hear, unconscious!" Genma said, sarcastically. "Babysitting a famous operatic singer! Geez! Doesn't he get all the luck?"
"You can have it!" Kakashi said.
"Nope, can't. Tsunade is thinking on giving me my own team to teach this year…. I'm going to die, aren't I? From stress. Hence my drunken state."
Raido patted him on the head.
"Now, now. You'll be fine."
Genma nodded. He was known for being able to hold his liquor extremely well – and no amount of silly Genins were going to make him lose his head either.
"Damn right."
Kakashi slumped back, defeated.
"Sho how about it, eh, eternal rival? Knowing how light weight you are and the fact that your metabolishm ish high, no doubt you'd fail eashily – easily – in fact, it'sh a bit low challenging you in shuch a matter when you prob'ly 've ne'er really drunk 'fore, righ', Kakashi?"
Kakashi stopped looking at Shizune and Iruka and focused on the Jounin now rapidly becoming more intoxicated.
"Eh, what did you say? I missed it."
Gai yelled. "Shtop being sho hip! It's really pishing me off!"
"Eh? What're you talking about now?"
"A drinking match, baka!"
"You're already drunk. I don't match against people who aren't thinking with all their faculties."
"Kakashi!"
"Geez, Kakashi! Just drink something!" Genma rolled his eyes.
Iruka watched Shizune as she seated herself on the stools at the counter. He had never seen a woman look so sexy sitting down. Shizune smiled at him and ordered two Tropical Rages.
Leaning forward (which brought her breasts into view), Shizune looked into his chocolate-brown eyes and said in a sultry voice.
"I notice you enjoyed drinking grape and cherry juices so I've ordered a juice drink which has light alcohol in it. That way, your …. first time….. won't be as…… traumatic….. as it sometimes can be…."
Are we talking about drinking? Wondered Iruka. Or sex? Bad Iruka! Thinking like that about Shizune when she is obviously not totally….
Shizune slowly swung her leg over the other, exposing her pale skin right up to her thigh
Iuka flinched and tore his eyes away only to meet the big mirror behind the bartender – and the reflection of a grinning Shizune.
"Iruka, you're so funny."
Iruka's ears were on fire, he was sure of it.
Two drinks were placed in front of them, already beading with the surrounding heat. He took two large gulps, hoping to cool himself down.
It tasted sweet and had a zing at the end – a slight burn which made him cough and his eyes water.
After his second glass, everything felt better.
Shizune, if possible, looked sexier and he felt manly enough to flirt shyly with her. He wondered if she would ever go out with him.
When she turned and walked back to the Jounin's table, he followed, feeling a bit light in the head and heavy in the feet.
Kakashi's visible eyebrow rose several inches, disappearing under his hitai-ate.
"What the heck did you give him?" he asked, when he caught sight of Iruka's star-burst eyes and unsteady posture.
"Tropical Rage."
"Eh?" asked Kakashi.
Not…. No….
"That ishn't a Tropical Rage," Raido said, tipsy. "At leasht. Not one."
"I haaaadd…. Uh…. Two!" Iruka said, laughing. "I'm fine."
Then he fell down.
"Ooops! Don't worry!" He yelled from floor. "I'm fine!"
A hand loomed into his vision and looking up, he saw a masked ninja.
"K- K'kashi! This is great!"
"I'm sure," said the ninja gruffly. "Let's get you home, though. We need to get you some good night's sleep."
"Heh heh heh." Genma chuckled, looking into his cup. "Who's betting Iruka will lose his virginity tonight if he hasn't lost it already?"
Nobody took up the bet.
Raido nodded.
"Have a nish night, 'Ruka! Come back soon!"
"Yesh! You too!" Iruka said vaguely, trying to find his feet.
With a sigh, Kakashi grabbed Iruka's arm, slung it around his neck and supporting the young Chuunin's body, dragged him out of the inn.
"Have a nice night, Kakashi!" Genma roared.
"Hev a shafe strip, I mean, trip!" Raido said.
"Yeah!" Gai said. "Go with youth p'wer!"
Genma frowned than shrugged.
"You guys are so drunk – I'm not going to pay attention to you." Kakashi growled.
"I am NOT drunk."
Kakashi dragged Iruka out.
Iruka talked all the way home.
He talked about Tsunade's hidden alcohol stash and how much money she spent on lottery tickets, Shizune's legs, how Konohamaru and his team were doing, what Naruto's notes were like, Naruto's Oiroche no Jutsu, Shizune's breasts, Ebisu and Aobe, Jiraiya's perviness as according to Shizune, Shizune's thighs, Kurenai and Asumo making out on the memorial, Ibiki's Sunshine Girls calendar collections, Shino's weird bugs, Shizune's pale skin.
'D'you think Shizune would go out with a guy like me?" asked Iruka, dazedly as Kakashi shoved him onto his bed and started to take off the teacher's shoes.
"I guess."
"D'you think Shizune is hot?"
"I guess."
"D'you ever think of Shizune that way?"
"Uh…. No not really…."
"Why not?"
"Not my type."
"You shay – say – that about every kunoishi - kunoichi."
"Well, I haven't found the right one yet."
Iruka looked at the Jounin owlishly.
"Arn't you going to reshtart yo' clan?"
"Ummm…." Kakashi stood up and flicked back the sheets and helped Iruka into them.
"Well," asked Iruka, eyes remaining stubbornly open.
"I don't know…."
"You've gotta practish – right? Jusht like I have to practish."
"Uh. Yeah."
"Think on it."
"Yeah, sure.
Like hell, I will.
"Promise."
"WHAT?"
"I practish while you're gone, you practish while I'm gone – I mean, I practish while you're gone, you practish while you're gone."
"Practice what?"
"Shex."
"I wasn't talking about sex earlier, you know that – right, Iruka?"
"I know." Iruka sat up and tried to pull out his hair tie. Kakashi tried to help but ended up just tatting the Chuunin's hair. He found some scissors and, after a long hassle, managed to cut out the tie with a large clump of hair.
"Promise, K'kashi?"
"Right, I promise."
"Promise."
"I just did."
"To have sex."
"Errr…. Yeah."
"Okay."
There was a silence. Kakashi stood looking down at the dazed teacher, who still showed no signs of sleep and was, in fact, beginning to get out of bed.
Kakashi sighed. The Chuunin in his state was rather excitable. Sleep would be the best but didn't seem like a natural option right now.
Flicking up his hitai-ate, he activated his Sharingan.
"Huh?" Iruka froze, looking up at the looming ninja, groggily. "What'sh that?"
Catching Iruka's eyes, Kakashi put the teacher to sleep, and tucked the young man in. Locking the door, he crept out the window and jumped his way back home.
There was no time to read the folder. He was damned if he was going to read the folder.
So he went straight to bed.