Chapter 10

"Hyne, this is out in the middle of nowhere" says Selphie, surveying the East Academy station. A set of cracked concrete steps descend down from the train platform to a square surrounded by a gas station, motel, diner, and tiny drugstore. The sun is setting behind a deserted highway on the other side of the buildings.

"Well," Quistis heaves an impatient sigh "We won't get to Galbaldia Garden by nightfall without a car…and I don't think we're going to be able to rent one…anywhere nearby."

Selphie offers to check out the motel. Zell quickly volunteers to go with her.

"I'm surprised they'd carry enough Gil on them for a motel," Rinoa wonders aloud. "Even this one…" she adds, looking over its crumbling exterior the light-up sign that reads Malbo o Mot l. "Malboro Motel? I've never even heard of it…"

"SeeDs on a job carry a credit card that draws from a sort of SeeD-stuck-in-the-middle-of-nowhere account for emergencies and job-related purchases…garden policy." Quistis explains.

"Sounds easy to take advantage of."

"Employing of a card for personal use is the last thing you'll do as a SeeD. Every card is monitored and compared to a report given to garden administration periodically or upon conclusion of an assignment…which reminds me, Squall, when did you last report to Cid?"

Squall is staring stonily at a cigarette butt on the ground, wearing what Rinoa has privately begun to call his "floor face". "The evening before Seifer attacked Deling, we haven't had much downtime since then."

Rinoa feels privately guilty. (It's my fault they haven't had time to make a report, or eat a decent meal since this morning. And that Seifer came to Timber…and that he might be dead now.)

The SeeDs check into two two-person rooms in the Malboro Motel. Zell and Squall stay in the smaller one, Rinoa, Quistis and Selphie in a connected room that's a little bit bigger, and has a fold-up cot in the closet. The rooms are small, the windows are dirty, the wallpaper is peeling, and the shower water is either boiling or freezing, but to Rinoa it feels like a safe haven.

They check out at eleven the next morning and begin the walk to Galbaldia garden, going away from both the train tracks and the highway.

Rinoa: I've been camping in monitored outdoor areas before, but I've never seen the "untamed wild" as Ari called it, except out the windows of trains and airplanes. The SeeDs seemed right at home though; everyone looked better after a long sleep except for Zell, who was still dragging his feet and not talking. Selphie on the other hand skipped periodically and hummed a song about trains from a commercial for Galbaldia Railways. She chatted to me candidly about life in the Garden circuit, when she wasn't skipping or singing.

Apparently Seifer had been right in telling me that Balamb Garden's SeeDs were the only military program in the world to make use of the GF. Other mercenary programs with longer histories than Garden (a veritable infant in the military business, but a hugely successful one) just hadn't caught on to the difference long-term junctions made in a soldier's capabilities. They would, eventually, Selphie assured me, change their programs to accommodate for new technology. Selphie was much more of an intellectual than she appeared at first.

"I actually didn't always plan to join the SeeD program" she confided "I transferred to Balamb from Trabia Garden after a post-graduation seminar on our career options. As a magic specialist, basically I could be a SeeD, a garden instructor or join the Galbaldian military."

We spent much of the walk talking about the politics of Galbaldia's aggressiveness, my father, and my work with the resistance movement, as well the Gardens, GF junctioning, and magic. I told her how I'd always been fascinated by the idea of GF summoning and the magic casting I saw on television, and by the time we reached Roshfall forest, a clump of trees separating the Timber area and Galbaldia Garden, she was trying to wheedle Squall into letting her teach me some basic spells.

"We weren't hired to teach magic." Squall said firmly.

"It's not illegal or anything! I think she'd be good at it. I just get that vibe. C'mon Squall!"

Squall stopped walking and was silent for what seemed like hours. "…fine. But don-"

We didn't get to hear what Selphie shouldn't do, because a Wendigo landed on Squall. Out on the planes, the fauna – geezards and bite bugs – had stayed clear of us for the most part, encouraged by fire or blizzard spells cast at a distance by the SeeDs. The Wendigo didn't seem wary at all. It dropped out of a tree knocked Squall to the ground, making hooting sounds. It looked like a monster from my eighth grade history book called a "gorilla". The SeeDs leaped at it right away, but I was standing closest to him and got there first. I slashed it on the back with the side of my blaster edge. It leaped off of Squall, who had drawn his gunblade, and onto me, though I stayed standing.

"Rinoa, get away from it!" someone shouted, Quistis I think, but it was grabbing onto my neck and scratching and kicking me with its feet. Squall grabbed it around the middle and ripped it away, taking some of my hair with it, threw it to the ground, and drove his gunblade into it with frightening, violent efficiency. I turned away, my chest hurting from the Wendigo's kicks and feeling nauseated from the sight of the impaled monster on the ground.

I half expected Squall to thank me for getting it off of him, but instead he told me, wiping his blade with a rag from its case,

"Unless a monster attacks you directly, do your best to get away from it so we can kill it without worrying about hurting you."

I must have looked disappointed because he added "…sorry. I should have told you earlier."

"It's okay," Selphie assured me quietly "you did fine."

We stopped to rest and eat lunch – leftover pasta from the diner at East Academy Station. I wished we could have kept walking for a mile or two; the dead Wendigo didn't do much for my appetite. I was repulsed and strangely fascinated by it, lying in the grass with its gray fur in matted, bloody clumps and its limbs twisted at odd angles. Against my better judgment, I went to look at it. I felt sort of sorry for it. Wendigo are territorial, we were probably invading its home. How often did anyone pass through this little forest? The path was barely visible under the overgrowth. I hid my nose in the crook of my arm as I neared the body, but when I was close enough to see its individual, leathery fingers and glassy, empty eyes, I felt compelled to touch it. I think I planned to press its forehead, as one traditionally does for the dead. At least that's where I tapped it, and as soon as I did I felt a rush of sensation from my forefinger to the rest of my body and a burst of pain in my head, that was gone in a second. I staggered away from the carcass and backed into a tree, feeling no closure, but more nausea. I leaned on the tree, breathing quietly and trying not to throw up.

"Rinoa, what are you doing?" Quistis called from the clearing where the SeeDs were packing empty take-out boxes into cheap backpacks, purchased that morning at the drugstore. I wanted to say "nothing" but I didn't trust myself to open my mouth.

Selphie came to retrieve me. "Gross, why are you looking at that?"

I told her about the head pain and nausea and she brought me back to the clearing, grinning like she'd brought me back victorious from the Triple Triad world championships, instead of from a dead, soon-to-be-rotting carcass.

"I think Rinoa junctioned an avatar!" she announced.

As the party continues through the forest, Selphie talks excitedly, and endlessly to Riona.

"It doesn't happen very often you know" she informs her, with a tone that suggests Rinoa must not be ungrateful for her still aching head and queasy stomach.

"Most people have to learn to draw before they can junction, but I told you, you have that vibe! Or maybe you just hit a really good match with your avatar, that can happen too. This is so exciting, now I have to teach you to cast! Have you thought about what you're going to name it?"

Rinoa hasn't thought about what to name it, and isn't even sure she wants it. According to Quistis, getting rid of an avatar is easy, but should be done in a magic lab.

"Galbaldia Garden's focus is weapons technology, and their magic program is rumored to be a little shady. You should probably wait until you can get to Balamb garden." she advises "Otherwise you can get some unpleasant physical symptoms, as you've seen…"

Even habitually quiet Squall has something to say about Rinoa's avatar, showing her the section on GF use in his pocket-sized, electronic SeeD handbook ("You carry that thing around with you!" says Selphie in amazement). Only Zell is quiet, having become more so the farther he travels from Timber.

The next time the group stops to rest, at what would be dinner time if they had any food left, Rinoa reads what Squall's handbook has to say on avatars.

The guardian force (also called GF or avatar) is a staple of the SeeD program. A being made of energy of a magical nature, guardian forces were rumored to be bestial servants of the goddess Hyne by the ancient Centurians. Today, the origins of the guardian force are largely unexplained. Our knowledge of the use of the GF in a junction/draw system is extensive by comparison. Most of our information is based on the subjective reports of SeeD hosts and the few scientists who junction GF. What we do know, is that with a store of magical energy in one's body, even without the ability or expertise required to cast it, a junctioned guardian force will use that energy to strengthen the body of its host, be it monster, human, or its own body, independent of a junctioned being.

For more information on mythology and origins of the guardian force, see the SeeD tutorial, section 2A. For information on the junction/draw system, see section 2B. For information…

Rinoa begins skimming lines until the word "summoning" catches her eye.

The summoning of a guardian force is described by many as an "out of body" experience, and is usually reserved for emergencies, depletes the physical energy of the host, or summoner, and requires up to two minutes of uninterrupted concentration, leaving the summoner vulnerable to attack in a conflict situation. Though meditation and concentration exercises can help, the most effective way to speed the summoning of a guardian force is by repeated successful summons.

A guardian force can exist as an independent entity while junctioned to a host for up to about thirty seconds, long enough for it to provide whatever aid it can to its summoner. Some guardian forces are destructive; some heal or enhance the abilities their hosts. For more on guardian force families, see section…

Rinoa skipped several screens of information about the different classifications of GF, which ends with,

Remember, your guardian force is unique. Treat him or her with respect and patience as you gain experience and learn new skills together! (Cheesy…)

MHS:

When the magical energy of a junctioned guardian force fuses with high enough levels of animal adrenaline, the result is a temporary state of enhanced ability, unique to every host-guardian force pair, often compared to a "runner's high". Mountains have been moved and valleys carved with the force of a magical-hormonal synthesis, or "limit break". The enhanced abilities come in as many varieties as people and guardian forces, but they tend to reflect the hosts abilities and habitual activities under normal circumstances, and the tendencies of the guardian force. For example, a regular practitioner of magic casting may find that their MHS increases his concentration, the strength of his spells, or the speed or ease of his casting or drawing. Weapons specialists often repost increased strength, speed, and stamina.

There is a dark side to these enhancements. They are only temporary, and when adrenaline levels return to normal, the body is often exhausted or even severely damaged, the MHS and adrenaline itself repressing pain stimulus. For more information on MHS…

Rinoa closes the pocket-sized handbook and hands it back to Squall, who's sitting on a stump.

"Have you ever used an MHS?"

"A what?" Selphie asks from her perch on a low tree branch.

"Limit Break" says Squall "No, I haven't."

"I have!" Selphie volunteers.

She launches into an explanation of her limit break, a skill called "spell-slotting" common among magic users that allows them to cast chains of spells in rapid succession.

"I used it for the first time in Dollet, during our field exam. Now I can just kind of make it happen sometimes, you know, in the heat of the moment. And Quistis can do it to, right Quistis?"

Quistis is sorting shaking her backpack. The pasta sauce from one of the East Academy Diner boxes seeped through the cardboard.

"Yes?" she says irritably.

"You've used a limit? Yeah, Quistis uses Blue Magic." she says impressively.

Rinoa raises her eyebrows.

"It's a really rare branch of para-magic. Basically you copy spells that monsters use."

(Selphie sure talks a lot.)

The group keeps walking late into the evening. Every hour or so Quistis assures them "We're not too far from garden now!"

"I was just thinking," Selphie ventures after the third assurance "there might be some bad news from the Galbaldian government when we get there. What if we get caught, and then broadcast to the whole world!" She makes a slit-throat gesture across her neck.

"Whatever happens, happens, let's just keep going!" Zell snaps. Rinoa and the other SeeDs look up. "I'm…worried about Balamb garden. If anything happens to it, it's my fault." (No,) Rinoa thinks guiltily (It's my fault). "I'm the one who said we were all from Garden...You think the president will retaliate?"

Squall shrugs "It's possible."

(Don't say that. Poor Zell, that's why he's been so quiet.)

"But…we have so many off-duty SeeDs at Balamb garden. They wouldn't lose to the Galbalian army, would they?" Quistis looks uncomfortable. Selphie sighs and leans on a tree.

"It depends on the size of the army."

(Hyne…you can't even…)

Quistis clears her throat. "We should get going. We need to get to Galbaldia Garden before dark…"

Zell shakes his head and storms past the others, following the overgrown path. Quistis and Selphie follow him.

Rinoa purses her lips, and turns to follow Selphie, changes her mind, and turns back to Squall.

"Would it kill you to be supportive of Zell? Do you really enjoy acting so…callous towards your comrades? You're supposed to be the leader of this…thing…"

Rinoa sighs and turns. Zell, Selphie and Quistis are almost out of sight in the overgrowth. (We're all cold and tired and hungry and worried, but you can't…act like that…) she turns back to Squall.

"Any encouragement will make…Squall are you even listening?"

Squall's cynical, accepting expression is now surprised. He puts his gloved hands over his ears and drops to his knees on the path. From ahead of them, Rinoa can hear Zell say "Hyne…Shit!"

Rinoa kneels next to Squall and puts a hand gingerly on his arm. His eyes are squeezed shut, his hands still clamped over his ears as if to shut out a loud noise.

"Squall?"

Squall slumps to the ground in a faint. Rinoa's eyes widen. "Squall?"

Zell returns to the clearing carrying Selphie's unconscious body. Rinoa is still kneeling over Squall, holding his limp wrist in a shaking hand.

"He has a pulse; he's alive," she reports over her shoulder. "He just fainted…I don't know what happened."

"I think it's okay, this has happened before."

"What?"

"Hang on, I'll be back."

Zell lays Selphie down off the side of the path, with her head in the grass. Rinoa leaves Squall and bends over Selphie. Her normally pink cheeks are matte and white, and her flipped hair is disheveled and full of dry leaves. Rinoa carefully removes the leaves and takes Selphie's pulse. Like Squall's, it isn't even faint. Zell returns with Quistis slung over his shoulder like a sack. Rinoa laughs in spite of herself. Quistis's backpack hangs over her head like a small animal clinging to her unconscious form. Zell sets her carefully next to Selphie.

"What happened to them?"

"I think they went to the 'dreamworld'".