FORGIVE THIS CHAPTER! BLAME IT ON CANADA'S RECENT HEATWAVE!
Happy days are here once more! Kotetsu and Izumo survived!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GENMA!
hehehe... Naruto puts a whole new meaning into the calendar year. They should make a Naruto calender with all the important dates labeled... like ninja birthdays, important events etc. Who cares about Independence Day? Canada Day? Victoria's Day?
Nanny-chan: ... nervously raises a hand...
Don't own Naruto…. Blah blah blah…. What's new? READ AND REVIEW! READ AND REVIEW! READ AND REVIEW! READ AND REVIEW!
Extreme Makeover?
"So…. Kakashi…" Ren said, slyly, slightly resting a plump hand on the shinobi's waist. "I hear you are a ninja – is that true?"
Kakashi slanted his eye sideways at the short Indian. The man spoke with a terrible accent – it was rather hard to understand.
Either this man is trying to flirt with me OR he's mentally insane – both options are rather….. pathetic. Does he have a serious death wish?
"You were in the room."
Ren, catching sight of the dangerous gleam in Kakashi's eye, removed his hand.
"Wow! I never knew people like you existed," Izashi said, stars in his eyes. "I LOVE ninja movies – can you do cool stuff – like those mid-air kicks and running around on walls?"
Kakashi didn't even deign to answer.
They'd pee in their pants if they saw me complete the Chidori. Am I always going to be classed as a movie ninja?
For the first time in his life, Kakashi wished he could send up a quick prayer to his ancestors at the family shrine. For mental well-being and sanity.
In fact, just being in Konoha again would be nice.
Gina smiled up at the silver-haired Jounin.
"Never mind them," she said. "Was your trip good?"
"It was…. Stimulating." Kakashi said with a slow smile, remembering Aiko.
Gina smiled back, uncertainly.
"Well, the rest of today – if you're not too tired - will be spent getting you ready for work tomorrow. Tonight, Lady Megami will be going to a dinner. So. Basically –"
"It's simple," Ren said, as if by rote.
"She's Yukimoto-sama in public, Yukimoto-san or Megami-san in private, depending on how well you know her," Gina added.
"And you'll no doubt be on first name basis soon," Iwashi waggled his eyebrows.
"Never say no to her," Ren agreed, with a leer.
Kakashi blinked as they walked through another large room up to a door, at which the group stopped.
"Never disagree with her in public," Gina nodded.
"Never get caught bad mouthing her kids," Ren said.
"In fact, don't go near them at all."
"And be careful not to step on Pochi, her tiny Lhasa Apso."
"Be prepared to drink a lot."
"You may end up cooking…."
"Or doing her laundry…"
"Or babysitting her kids."
"Or tending to her more…. Personal… needs."
Kakashi sighed.
should have run away. Damn Iruka and his promises!
"So…." Izashi said. "Back to the matter at hand… your new look…."
Kakashi backed away slowly but Ren deftly materialized behind him, pushing Kakashi toward the door Gina was opening.
"These are our sleeping accommodations," Izashi said sarcastically. "Supreme comfort brought to you by the Zendella Hotel!"
Kakashi felt a pit grow in his stomach. In his head, he could see a long list of horrible things about this mission.
Megami was checking him out.
Izashi and Ren were checking him out.
Li was going to attack him – Kakashi could smell his intent.
Raiden was going to pull a nasty prank on him – there was a wicked gleam in his eyes.
He had to share a room with two gay lovers.
Which meant keeping on his guard even at night.
Megami was micromanaging everything
He had to totally bare himself – no mask, hitae ate or uniform.
Which meant, she would see him.
Which meant a lot of things.
And he couldn't run away.
This is going to drive me crazy – seriously. Some things are just too much.
Kakashi drooped but knew that he would have to face the music soon.
He watched the three servants prepare for the trip. Gina got her purse. Izashi found his wallet. Ren brushed his hair and put on heavy eyeliner, which made Kakashi think of Gaara.
They turned to the shinobi who stood there, still as stone. Unblinking.
"Okay!" Gina chirped. "Let's go!"
"Go where?" asked Kakashi.
"To make you over, darling!" Ren said waggling his fingers.
"Make me over?"
"We've got to get you proper clothes and things," Izashi said.
"I'm not paying for anything so stupid."
Gina, Ren and Izashi looked at each other perplexed.
Gina disappeared. She came in, waving a gold card.
"Right then, cheapskate, it's all settled."
Kakashi raised his eyebrows in surprise.
Sighing defeated, he allowed himself to be led out and down the elevators to the street and the waiting fumes of traffic.
The quartet stopped in front of a huge building teeming with peoples of all races. Kakashi's head swiveled left and then right as he watched women and men walk past in fashions incredibly outlandish.
Some of them made Kurenai look conservative.
If only Gai and Asuma were here! They'd really, really appreciate this!
"This is an… interesting store." Kakashi said, as he watched a girl walk past, wearing nothing but her underclothes and some pants.
Gina smiled.
"It's probably very different for you – this is a store with imports from the West."
Kakashi smiled.
"Yare yare! Then I really will look scary coming out of here! Thank goodness nobody from Konoha is here!"
"Don't be silly," Ren said, smacking Kakashi lightly. "This is so the best place to be, right, Izashi?"
"It's alright, Kakashi, in no time we'll have you fitted out, from head to toe, right down to your skin."
The two men cringed as they caught sight of Kakashi's death look.
But Izashi wasn't joking.
The next half hour was spent finding Kakashi suitable shoes, socks, undershirts and underwear.
His eyes widened at the amount of stuff in the cart Gina pushed.
"This is waaaayyyyy too much to carry around," Kakashi pointed out, sweating as he looked over his three new pairs of shoes.
"Hmph," Gina snorted. "You should check out Ren's shoe collection he carries about."
Ren looked proud. Izashi nodded.
Kakashi looked ill.
Eventually, Kakashi found himself shoved into a small booth with hooks on the wall. Looking around him, at the plywood walls, the lack of ceiling and the flimsy door, Kakashi grunted.
It was the worse place for a shinobi to undress much less unarm. This thing would fall down with one kick!
"Strip down!" said Izashi, poking his head in.
Kakashi glared at the man, shoved the offending head away, shut the door and securely locked it.
Not that the lock is strong either. As a Genin, I could open this with my eyes shut. Well…. At least there's no ceiling – useful for quick getaways.
"Okay, first set of clothes!"
"REN!"
"Awesome, Ren! He'll look so good in those!"
"NO. He's NOT wearing those."
Kakashi peeked out and nearly fainted at the sight of yellow and cherry pants.
Gina was shaking her head and bundling them out of sight.
She looked up.
Kakashi smiled weakly.
"What's your favorite colours, Kakashi?"
Kakashi scratched his head, stumped. He had not worn his own choice of clothing for a long time. Although, Jounin's could doff uniforms if they so chose, Kakashi had kept the uniform. It meant that he wouldn't have to spend so much time over clothes.
"Ummmm….. black… blue….green…. I guess…"
Gina nodded. Ren and Izashi placed the clothes on the counter and disappeared with melancholy sighs.
Kakashi shut the door, sighed, leaned against the wall and drooped.
Slowly, he untied his hitae ate, his flak jacket, his shirt, his pants, leggings and mask.
Outside the door, he could hear the trio arguing.
"Not thoooosse, Gina!" (Ren) "They're just so booooring like – old people's clothes."
"What about these?"
"Guys. No. Put those down, Izashi. Those are hideous. I feel that Kakashi-san is really conservative, so…. These are the best. Very little fringe or anything fancy. Solid dark colours, subtle designs. Some light colours to offset the darks. Tight, attractive and setting off his… er…."
"You think he's hot?" Ren asked.
"What do YOU think?"
"Well, he's wearing a mask…"
Izashi said. "He could be scarred and ugly. He's a ninja – like Jackie Chan."
"Ummm… what about Jet Li? Kakashi-san's got good bones. You can't hide those."
"Don't go there, Gina. You saw Megami-san. He's hers for now."
"Where did you get such a silly idea from?"
"He's not worth it, Gina-kun. Seriously. Even if he did look like the oh so bootylicious Jet Li."
Jet LI? Jackie Chan? Bootylicious? These people are cracked. I thought Orochimaru was weird as a kid – but these people really run close…. What's even scarier is that they are civilians….
"Izashi. Stop teasing. He's probably is listening and laughing."
"Good. If Megami-san heard that I warned him off her, I'd be in deep shit. This way, everybody's on the level."
Ren grabbed the clothes and threw them onto the door. Kakashi said nothing as he grabbed them.
Two hours later, Kakashi finally stepped into his newest and most favorite set of clothes, just bought at the counter by Gina. Packing away his uniform and accoutrements and his new, hellish costume (it couldn't possibly be called clothing), he sighed.
For him, the uniform was the last bit of home. His mask, the last bit of the Hatake.
Geez! Hatake, get a grip, you're behaving like a homesick Genin on his first mission!
But holding the hitae ate, Kakashi felt unsure.
All his life, this band was a protection – against people who wanted to know his secrets and it was his identity. He was an adult shinobi now – a man of Konoha.
To pack away years of sweat and toil spent as a kid seemed wrong.
"You're a Chuunin now! Isn't that great!"
"Congratulations, Kakashi…."
"Good work, Kakashi – a shinobi to make me proud. To make Konoha proud."
Then later, at night, as he sat on a roof, under the moonlight, he felt his sensei sit down beside him.
"I shouldn't have to give you a talk about what being a Chuunin means."
There was a deep silence.
"But, Kakashi…. I want to say that you have made me very proud today."
"You said that already."
"You need to hear that again. I think."
Another silence.
"If you know that… then you know…."
"Yes. I know. I'm not the right person for you now. Am I?"
Kakashi turned his head away, silently ceding a point to his perceptive teacher.
"But, I am sure he will one day recognize…"
Kakashi stood.
"I'm fine."
"Are you?"
"A shinobi follows the rules, brings glory to his clan, protects his village with his life and shows no tears. I know that. Why do you think I'm further ahead than that crybaby?"
Yellow Flash's eyes clouded.
"Kakashi. This is not a thing of the mind. Wearing that protector isn't just a mental and physical action."
"Sure."
Kakashi's sensei sighed and stood.
"One day, you will realize this. I hope you can pass this on to whoever you teach."
Kakashi shrugged and jumped away into the night.
Holding his hitae ate, Kakashi, looking at the clear metal and the Leaf engraved on it, watched it blur.
I promised myself. I promised Lightning's Howl not to walk a path of regret. But how can you stop feeling this – when you know that there was something you forgot to do?
Kakashi. This is not a thing of the mind. Wearing that protector isn't just a mental and physical action.
Gina, putting her ear to the door, hearing nothing, tapped softly.
Kakashi, carefully placed his forehead protector among his uniform clothes, and hastily picked up the bags of clothes now his.
Walking out, he looked at his new clothes in the full length mirror at the end of the small dressing rooms' hall. Gina, Ren and Izashi also looked expectantly at the shinobi.
Kakashi saw a grey haired man with mismatching eyes and a slight scar look back at him, wearing grey pants, a blue tank and over top, a zip-up 'ribbed' sweater (according to Gina, very chic). He folded his arms and glowered, still feeling depressed about the loss of his uniform.
"I look ridiculous."
Then he rolled his eyes, shrugging away his worries, pushing back his thought and emotions, focusing on the mission.
"Ahh… well… anything for the client!"
In a way, though, I have to give that woman some points for sharp thinking. It would be best for Konoha not to advertise its abilities – secrecy is after all, the ninja's way of life.
Kakashi was jolted out of his daze by the sound of three thumps and raised his eyebrows at the sight of his companions lolling on the ground in a dead faint.
Scrabbling, he found the sunglasses he picked out for himself, and placing them on was ready for the revival of the trio.
When they came to, Kakashi was ready to leave.
It was time to get to work.
Okay, now to the good part where I respond to reviews:
I LOVE YOU GUYS!
RockBane: What's next? Read this and find out what's next! I've gotten into a habit of sort of announcing what's next, so the next chapter will have what's happening in the following two chapters and so on and so forth...
allyluv: Thank you for reviewing and for being so supportive! I'm glad you're addicted.
Twin Sun Leader: Don't worry, ass-kicking and changes are about to happen in Megami-san's world. Kakashi, I am sure, will leave his mark behind. Half of retaining the wonder of this world is approaching what we take for granted with a new eye. I hope Kakashi's view allows us to look at ourselves with new humour and our technology with new wonder and little bit of eye-quirking. This philosophy is not new (G.K. Chesterton) but a touchstone for me.
Kaki-kun: Well, somebody unexpected is going to be evil - but that is for waayyyyy later on, so hold in there. The real hard core action will be happening later too... for some reason, my heart has been lighter and so my fan-fics have been less angsty. I'm honoured that you like my genre-shifting and compare it to the anime - I think that it is this multi-faceted characterization which lends the show an epic quality. I don't live around rich snobs (actually, 'across the tracks' literally D) but I DO work for many!