Stepping out of my residence I make a Very Important Decision. Today I'll press the elevator button marked gingerbread house.
I press the elevator button marked gingerbread house. And the elevator comes to a halt in a room much like the chocolate room, but it isn't because the chocolate room doesn't have a gingerbread house in it so it makes no sense at all to get to the chocolate room if you press the button marked gingerbread house. This is the gingerbread house room, and there's the gingerbread house, eternally powdered with icing sugar snow. The icing sugar powders my hat and shoulders too as I walk towards it, and I leave a trail of high-heeled footsteps and little cane marks behind. I walk straight to the nearest window and look inside.
There they are, the little Buckets. Charlie Bucket, mommy Bucket, daddy Bucket and all the grandpas and grandmas Bucket, all seated around the table. Remember me snooping around in their house, opening all of the doors and drawers? I was just being curious to begin with, but that toothpaste hat (how distasteful) model of my factory gave me an idea and the detailed knowledge of the cottage did come in very handy when I built my model. It's all made of candy of course, except for the people which are – well, I won't go into the technical details, but they never move when I'm out of sight, always seated around the table, ready for dinner. There's an empty chair for me and I like to have my dinner there sometimes, when I'm feeling – well, sometimes I just feel like it, kay? Of course, all of the food is made of candy too. I don't really eat.
Grandma Georgina will say something charmingly out-of-touch, like "You smell like peanuts!" (Because I don't! I smell like chocolate, obviously. If it doesn't stick to my clothes and hair from working with it all day long my Eau de Chocolat is bound to do the trick.) and Charlie will come up with some random candy idea which is, of course, mine, but sometimes it's very inspiring to hear your ideas repeated when you least expect it. He's sort of like my chaos generator tape recorder, much more convenient than a real boy I'm sure, which would be more like a chaos generator lump of flesh on a pair of skippy legs.
Today I'll just check in on them through the window though. It was a Very Important Decision, pressing that button today, because I normally only allow myself to come here once a week, like a Sunday dinner, and I've already been here this week, so that's cheating. I guess it doesn't count if I don't go inside though. I needed to come here today, so see that everything's in order, right were I left it. No doors popping up here and there, no trap doors to go tumbling down through. This room is always just like I left it. The Oompa-Loompas are not allowed in here. Well, I guess I'd make an exception for repairs.
As I stand there looking in at the Bucket family Charlie turns his head towards me and gives me this long look. Is he supposed to do that? I didn't want him to do that! He smiles and waves at me as I grow more and more certain he's not supposed to do that. I quickly duck for cover and crawl out of sight, then I start running for the glass elevator.
Great. Just great. Now the gingerbread house room is turning against me too. This is beginning to resemble The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Poor Frank. Poor me. I'll just slip on something glittery for my final song then.
Just kidding.
I'll just go straight back to my rooms and start the day all over like I've never been here.