I do not own Naruto – if I did, Kakashi would really be great – like a Sannin etc etc etc… and we'd see what's under his mask.
Revelation of the Wolf: The Glory of the Hatake Clan
Under A Moon
"Kakashi."
There were two of them, looking down on the gate and the street in the falling twilight.
A head of brilliant yellow and a long tell-tale ponytail of white.
Kakashi stood up and blinked.
Jiraiya and Naruto? Already?
Then the two turned and Kakashi gasped as he realized that they were old… well… friends wasn't the word for it.
Sensei. Father.
Yellow Flash. White Fang.
"What?"
"Nice to see you," grinned Sensei, flashing his straight white teeth. 'My! Haven't you grown!"
And Kakashi realized that he had. When his sensei ruffled his hair, it was no longer from a great height. Kakashi flashed a grin in response.
"I know! And we've heard about you and your summoning no jutsu's success!" Sakumo smiled proudly. "Soon all of Konoha will know and will come to acknowledge the power of our clan! Honour will be restored to us! And at least one of our dreams will come true. I see that marriage and giving me grandchildren seems to be the last thing on YOUR mind."
Kakashi gulped at the idea of marrying some girl and having a load of kids on his hands.
I've already got enough trouble taking care of Team 7… From the looks of it, I don't think I'm good enough to raise a family or restart a clan!
"The Kage knows and three other shinobi but that's it. Nobody else is supposed to find out – we're in the midst of war and my newest jutsus are going to be a well-kept secret for the good of Konoha. It will be an edge in battle. Who knows? I might end up doing ANBU missions during the war – that was always my strength."
Sakumo and the Yondaime exchanged a concerned glance.
"Kakashi…."
Sakumo paused uncertainly and sighed.
"Kakashi-kun." Yellow Flash reached forward and grabbed Kakashi's shoulder. "Don't get caught in that scene again. It nearly destroyed you."
"It did not."
Kakash drew back with a frown.
"I was fine."
"Fine? Fine?"
His sensei shook his head.
"Don't think I don't know. Don't think that we don't care. You started to lose the vision of Leaf. You started to forget why you were fighting. You had become a ghost!"
Sakumo blinked.
"Really? Kakashi? That true?"
Kakashi merely folded his arms and glared.
"Sakumo. I don't – that is – when you left for awhile, Kakashi lost touch with Konoha. He didn't leave, but it was as if he wasn't there. He had lost the reason for why we fight. Which is for love."
A pause.
"Then there was Team 7 and for awhile, I was able to teach something to him. I thought that everything would be fine. But after Obito died. Then Rin. Well…. There was no stopping him…. And by the time I fell…. He was thoroughly involved in ANBU. And he was the best because he had nothing to lose."
Sakumo looked shocked, trying to deal with the idea of his kawaii white-haired boy as a cold-hearted killing machine.
"Kakashi…." He said softly.
Kakashi stuffed his (suddenly shaking) hands in his pockets and stared silently at the floor, wishing his ghosts away.
They didn't leave.
His father turned to his sensei.
"But he left –"
"No. Sondaima-sama was smart enough to realize this, especially after reading the notes I left behind. He removed your son rather forcibly from the ANBU ranks and got him to enroll as a sensei. In this way, he would come into contact with regular human beings and relearn the importance of friendship."
"I was NOT forced to leave ANBU!" snapped Kakashi, wondering once again why he always had these types of conversations in his life. "I left of my own free will…" His voice petered off under the Yondaime's raised eyebrow. "Sort of… But still! I did okay! I got a team! It's fine! And if Konoha needs me in the war as ANBU, that's where I will go. I go where they need me. And don't tell me that I don't know the importance of teamwork 'cause I do. It's engraved on my heart and I've got a Sharingan as a constant reminder."
Sakumo's eyebrows rose. The Yondaime sighed with the defeated air he'd had, oh, so long ago when he tried to get a point across to his immature Genin students.
"That's not the point. Teamwork is one thing. Friendship is another. What bosom friends do you have, Kakashi?"
A silence.
The two men waited as Kakashi thought.
And thought.
And thought.
And thought some more.
After a long moment: "What do you mean by 'bosom' friends, exactly?"
The two men sweat-dropped.
Sakumo's throat tightened as he realized once again what his selfish actions had done to his son's life.
It was he who had put the bewildered pain and silent anger there. And here, now, the embarrassed puzzlement which lay in Kakashi's black eye.
"People who you go to for advice and fun times. Who are there for you. Who you invite over. Eat with. Feed with."
A moment.
"A couple, I guess," Kakashi said with a shrug. "I've got Gai… and Genma… I guess…"
"Really?"
"Well… I see them at the inn when we gather for drinks. And Gai says I'm his springtime of life rival. And I talk to Asuma and Kurenai…. So, yeah, I think I've got friends of a sort.""
Kakashi petered off as he realized that he didn't have any real close friends, but then… weren't they over-rated?
All that really matters is whether one can work in a team or not. Whether one cares of ones team or not. Who cares about what happens in one's personal life.
"No life at all," sighed the Yondaime. "I hope Tsunade figures it out before she sends him off to ANBU."
The two men looked calculatingly at their silver-haired student, who stood there slouching, looking very peeved/annoyed.
Suddenly, Kakashi turned and stared away, looking at the pale face of the moon and the shimmery stars. He wondered what self-accusing part of him conjured his two – well – mentors in such a state.
"Kakashi…"
He ignored them.
"I'm proud of you."
A pause.
"Whatever choice you make."
Kakashi looked down at the small roofs below him and the main road, now empty since everybody was downtown enjoying the festival. He could see the lights, even from here, bright and cheery. Every now and then, the wind brought the sound of laughter and the smell of barbeque towards him.
"You know that, right?"
Kakashi nodded silently.
But he wondered.
"I will be going back." He said. "I can just… feel… it."
"We only want the best for you."
"You must understand that."
Kakashi tilted his head.
"…. Yeah…."
"I'm glad that you found a place within Lightning's Howl's clan. That you have made some sort of connection with the village."
Sakumo sighed.
"If –" Kakashi didn't touch the hand gripping his shoulder.
"What did I say before, Kakashi?" Sakumo chided gently. "Don't walk the path of regrets. You must live the future for – for all of us."
Kakashi sighed and nodded.
"I know. And I'm sorry I can't walk it any better. That I can't make you proud all the way."
"You have."
"Kakashi?"
Kakashi turned.
It was Ibiki.
He blinked.
A beat.
"Morino." Kakashi grinned. "What brings you up here?"
"News. You did want it?"
"News?"
"From Cloud."
"Already?"
"They work fast. Especially when it comes to matters of intelligence. Too bad their average shinobi can't get more power…" Ibiki trailed off in the thought, no doubt weighing and measuring Leaf's own intelligence to that of Cloud's. "…. Anyway…. I got a message just half an hour ago. It seems like Cloud traced the poison potion back. A bottle of pills in the company's medicine cabinet."
"So it WAS the pills. What a –"
Kakashi shook his head, still rolling his eyes at the kage's and her shinobi's mistake over the medicine intake rule on missions.
"And your gut instincts proved correct – that coupled with Iruka's helpful memory."
"It wasn't –"
"Yukimoto Li? Yeah."
"Hell no."
"Hell yes."
"But –"
Kakashi fell silent.
Remembering Li.
"Shut the hell up, bastard!" Li swung a punch at Kakashi.
"Li! What are you doing?"
It was Megami coming around the corner.
Kakashi sweat-dropped.
"Just… uh…. Sparring…."
"Sparring? Right. And I'm the Emperor…."
Li stormed off.
"Next time, ninja boy! I promise! Leaf shinobi can suck this!"
Megami ran after her recalcitrant son, screaming abuse.
Kakashi watched them.
What a fucked up family!
And the boy was a screwed up prick. A brat who always wanted attention. Wanted power. Wanted everything. A spoiled monster.
"He was interrogated…"
Kakashi winced.
"And?"
"Confessed and everything. He'll be doing time in one of those civilian prisons they've got, no doubt."
"And his connection with Sound?"
"Very tenous." Ibiki snorted. "It was Kabuto who had given him the pills and he had communicated through letter only once a month or so. They won't be saving him. Orochimaru's track record isn't good that way. Leaves his men high and dry, he does."
Kakashi sighed, thinking of Megami and wondered how she was taking this. But asking Ibiki would lead to questions and he didn't really want to analyze the answers.
"He must have bumped into Sound from one of her previous tours…" Kakashi murmured.
"I believe so," Ibiki nodded. "Sad really. He was just in it for the money and the power trip but what does he end up with? A prison sentence, a criminal record, a pissed-off group of friends and an unforgiving mother…."
"His mother took it well?"
Ibiki cocked a questioning eyebrow, which Kakashi pointedly ignored.
"Ehh…. Well… At first she took it hard, but she came around. She'll be okay. Apparently she doesn't think it's very safe in Asia anymore. She's taking her other son with her to America."
So far away….
Kakashi mentally shrugged.
Ah well. It's never good to hold on to somebody. It becomes your weakness…. Besides… she comes from a world so different from mine.
There was a thoughtful silence.
"Well… anyway…." Ibiki said, finally in defeat.
Hatake has always been rather immune to any type of interrogation method… a pity… I'm sure he's rather interesting inside….
"I'm off. There are a couple of people I need to see…" He sounded ominous. "The ramen store owner - he's offering a discount on his miso ramen –"
Ibiki made it sound like a crime.
Poor guy, Kakashi sighed. I wonder what kami the man pissed off…., Kakashi sighed.
" – and I heard they're selling grilled beef for half price. Perhaps I'll see you around?"
Kakashi turned back and stared over the city.
"… mmmm…."
Ibiki disappeared in a poof.
Half an hour passed before Iruka climbed up to Kakashi's tower.
"Kakashi? You busy?"
Kakashi turned at the scent of ramen.
"…. Depends on what for…."
"Ramen!"
"Aaaa! Iruka-sensei! You're thoughtful tonight!"
Iruka mock-glared.
"I'm thoughtful ALL the time, idiot!"
Kakashi nodded.
"Is that so?"
He tuned out Iruka's squawks of irritation.
It was now dark and no lamp was lit. But Kakashi wasn't a tensei ninja for nothing. The soup was down his throat and digested in two minutes flat. Iruka sighed.
What a shinobi!
"I came here with these…." Iruka pulled out Raiden's gift. "From that kid, Raiden…. I forgot in the fuss of the fight afterwards."
Kakashi, flicking on his flashlight, read the covers of the grey plastic boxes.
"Ahhh! Iruka-sensei, thank you for bringing these!"
"No problem…."
A pause.
"What are they?"
A pause before Kakashi reluctantly said, "Video games."
"Eh?"
"Video games. Nintendo…. You know?"
"Uh… no…. But perhaps you will show me some time?"
Kakashi could sense Iruka's wide smile.
He thought of Iruka.
Perhaps Iruka was a friend?
Iruka in his apartment. Kakashi wasn't so sure though. He didn't like people invading his space. Especially his personal space.
The last time people had been in there was because of his fight with Itachi – Gai, Kurenai and Asuma had brought him there in hopes he would snap out of the effects of the Tsukiyomi. Sasuke had been in there too – for a couple of seconds, apparently. And Iwashi had burst in.
Stupid shinobi.
Kakashi was rather meeved at the thought and he frowned.
In the end, they had brought him to the hospital for care and that was where Tsunade had woken him up.
No.
"…. Maybe…."
Iruka drew back at his comrade's rather distant tone.
"So… I guess, I'll be off…."
"Already? You must tell me your news…" Kakashi shifted and in doing so, cut off Iruka's escape route.
Iruka laughed, forgetting his friend's aloof attitude the moment before.
"Oh yeah! That!"
"Yeah!" Kakashi said, darkly. "That!"
"The answer is yes."
"Yes? There's another one coming out?"
"That's right!"
Kakashi quivered in anticipation and sighed happily.
Iruka couldn't help but find this rather amusing.
Kakashi glared at him.
"What?"
"Nothing! It's just so funny!"
"Huh."
"Well…. It won't be out for awhile – a year, I think…. A double edition or something…."
"Gaaaaa!"
"It's not my fault!"
"That's so…. Loooonnnngggg!"
Iruka closed his eyes and massaged his temples.
"Kakashi…. Act your age…"
Kakashi leaned on the tower rail and sighed theatrically. A picture of drooping despair. Iruka's soft heart melted.
"It's not so bad… Time flies… Icha Icha Tactics will be out before you know it."
"Not if you're waiting for something."
"Then don't wait for it. Busy yourself with other things. Stop moping around and get with people. I hope you're going to show up sometime at the festival?"
Kakashi gave a non-committal grunt.
He'll flip if he finds out that I'm here all night…..
"Speaking of which," the crafty Copy-Nin said. "You'd best get going. I don't want to part you from your date."
"You heard about that?" asked Iruka with a blush.
"How could I not? You must meet her soon, yes?"
Iruka looked at his pocket watch and blinked.
"Hell! I'm going to run late!"
"Hurry, Iruka-sensei! Women like nothing better than a man who's on time."
"Then you're a lost cause."
"Who said I was the issue?"
"Ummm…. Well….."
"Hah!"
"Yeah! Okay! Explain Megmai-san."
Kakashi had the grace to fall silent.
"Obviously one woman isn't too – choooooossssseeeeeeee!"
Iruka had been knocked off the tower.
He managed to land on a roof far below.
"You dead! So dead!"
Iruka's shrill drill instructor voice could be heard up in the tower.
"Maaaa! It's not my fault you're clumsy, Iruka-sensei!"
"I'm going to kill you!"
"Say it louder, I'm not sure Orochimaru heard you!"
"When I get you -!"
"You'll what?" Kakashi laughed as Iruka fell silent, no doubt thinking of the fiasco early in the morning.
A poof behind him announced Iruka's return.
"I haven't apologized yet for my bad behaviour this morning….." The shy Chuunin scratched his scar. "I wasn't thinking and I realize that I may have been too harsh…"
Kakashi, dreading another 'mushy' talk, considered throwing himself off the tower. Iruka was just too – touchy feely…..
"I mean… it was a friendly thing…. Nothing more… it was good of you to get me home for starters."
Kakashi thought about the word 'friendly'.
Was that a friendly thing to do? I guess. And I did it without thinking….
Take that, sensei!
"So I hope you'll forgive me…"
"Of course." Kakashi grinned. "No hard feelings."
"Although… next time… make sure Shizune drags me home."
"Naw… I'll just drag you both home. Me drunk…. I just don't know what came over me."
"I think you were just coming down from that awesome jutsu you did. And letting go in front of us…. Showing your face… it must have been hard."
Kakashi sighed.
Another thing to gripe about….
"So anyway… I'll see you around, okay?"
"If that's what you want…."
"Of course! We're friends aren't we?"
"Saaaa…. That must be so…"
Iruka disappeared shaking his head.
That man is hopeless!
The third visitor that night was a rather concerned Sakura. She tried to hide her worry but didn't really succeed.
"Sensei! I've been looking all over for you!" She unpacked a plate of sweets for him and offered him something.
He stared down at the bonbons, the chocolates, the small squares and various sweet smelling fruit. Rather nonplussed.
"Ummmm…."
"You haven't been up here all night, have you?"
There was only one more hour to go.
"Maaaaa…. I wasn't feeling too good so…"
He wilted under Sakura's glare.
"You shouldn't keep running away from things."
Rather perceptive…. Although she doesn't know what I'm running from….
"I'm not running from anything."
Liar.
Shut up.
"I'm just – I'm sure nobody really cares whether I'm there or not."
A pause.
"I'm not really…." It was hard to admit. "That cool, really, Sakura."
Sakura sighed.
It was true that a lot of shinobi feared Kakashi and didn't consider him close friend material. And there were many people who looked down on him – but why…. They wouldn't ever say.
They just shake their heads and sigh.
But… there are others….
"Not everybody thinks that."
"Aaaahhh… really?"
Clear skepticism.
"Genma asked after you. Iruka did. Ibiki did. Tsunade did. Raido did…. Um… Gai did…. That was scary…. And Asuma and Kurenai did."
Not a lot in retrospect… but still…..
"I'm sure they weren't asking for me because they want to be friends." Kakashi sighed.
What a night this was turning out to be! Peace and quiet is what I wanted and what do I get? People bugging me about my social life and wondering about my social welfare…..
"Anyway… it's none of your business."
Sakura's face fell at his sharp tone. Kakashi ran his fingers in frustration through his grey hair, spiking it more wildly than usual.
"Sorry. What I mean to say is…. I'm happy…."
"Happy?"
"……."
"You sure?"
"…. Yeah….."
A pause.
"I've got you now… and Naruto…. And when we bring Sasuke back, we'll have him…."
"We're friends?" asked Sakura.
"Ummm… yeah… I guess…."
"But you never told us anything about you – nothing! Not even after you revealed your Sharingan… nothing…..remember the first day we met you? We asked you what your hobbies, dreams, likes and dislikes were and you just – avoided it. Like you always do. Friends don't do that. Unless you've got something to hide?"
Kakashi stared away over the town.
I guess I don't really know what friends are.
He sighed.
No wonder I don't have any. I don't' even know how to behave like a proper one. Being evasive is natural to me… for me to come out into the open…
Sakura went on.
"We don't know where you live. Or what your face is like. Or how you got your Sharingan. Or what you were like as a kid. Or your family…." She sighed deep from her heart. "Never mind. I guess old habits die hard."
"Yeah. I'm pretty…."
Fucked up.
Sakura sat there – on the railing and watched the moon for a moment, trying to interpret his silence.
"Perhaps it's just as well that Team 7…" Kakashi didn't finish. "Maybe a new sensei would –"
Sakura glared at him and he fell silent.
"No one else is weird enough."
He quirked an eyebrow at her.
"No one else is good enough." She smiled. "You once said to us that we were your proud team."
Kakashi remembered the day he let them walk through the door into the Chuunin exam. Did he regret that?
I don't know. But they are my proud team….
"I know that you're our proud sensei."
Kakashi felt a small second of – giddiness? Warmth?
It passed with no comment.
Sakura watched as her clock beeped.
"End of your watch. Come on."
She packed away the untouched plate and waited for Kakashi to pick up his flashlight.
They walked down the main street and walked into the festival. It was winding down. Many had gone home.
Kakashi managed to get some of the beef and ramen soup to go. From afar, he saw Shizune and Iruka both pleasantly tipsy (no more) and happy as they flirted. Kakashi watched fascinated.
He had learned how to do it – courtesy of Ibiki's Infiltration by Enticement and Seduction course – but watching the kawaii Iruka surreptitiously playing footsie with a flushed Shizune really tickled him.
Before he knew it, Genma, Raido and Gai had pulled him into a dart booth. Sakura watched as he slowly relaxed over the next half hour.
He just needs to give himself a chance…
"You got him out?" A rather flushed Tsunade asked.
"Yeah."
"Perhaps there's hope."
"Hope? What do you mean?"
Sakura watched as Genma's playful hand was pushed away by Kakashi rather roughly and Gai's patting arm disdainfully removed from his back. Kakashi was always very aware of his personal space.
Reluctantly, he was dragged into a booth where sake samples were offered.
Kakashi refused drink after drink and although he laughed, smiled and joked around, Sakura saw, with a more perceptive eye how lonely he was actually.
He's always looking at them from a distance – as if he doesn't understand them – as if he were shut out….I guess there's a history here that I don't know about.
Tsunade just shook her head.
Getting Sakura to drag Kakashi here is the most she can do. War with Sound is going to hurt us all and for all of us, it will make us call on all our reserves….. Kakashi has seen the effects of two wars already… times like these help build a base of stability for the uncertain future ahead…. After all… Sondaime… didn't you say that the power of Leaf is in love and the powers of friendship?
No. Sakura. Maybe later… when you are old enough to bear this burden… for now… Kakashi must learn how to bypass the scars of the past by himself.
That night, as he consumed his ramen on the small roof (his makeshift balcony), Kakashi pondered.
Perhaps he had a chance in the future as well.
NEXT UP: A vision of the future: Naruto's return, they pass the bell test and the other new jutsus that Kakashi learns. SPOILER for the most recent manga!