As You Like It
Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen: What Love is Supposed To Be

Jack had walked around in circles for hours before finally deciding he should save his energy to be able to search when he was actually able to see where he was going. He lazily walked back into the caves, stumbling every few steps from lack of sleep and exhaustion.

You look terrible, someone commented from the side.

Glaring towards the voice, Jack saw that Boone was either still awake or had woken up again.

Shouldn't you be asleep? He said bitterly.

Shouldn't you? Boone shot back.

The medicine's kicking in, Jack noted sarcastically.

Thanks for the heads up, Boone sighed.

Looking around the caves, Jack noticed that Alex had returned, though it was hard to read her expression. Though she looked sad, lost in the world, her complexion was fair and showed no signs of stress or pain. She sat in the corner near where her mother was sleeping, back against the wall. Alex wasn't asleep, but just staring at the floor. Concerned, Jack walked up to her.

I can see you found your bag, Jack said, noticing that Alex was wearing the black sweatshirt she wore everyday after they found Adam's body, and Jack knew why: it was his. Sayid brought it back.

Alex didn't reply. Her hands were inside the front pocket of the jacket, and Jack noticed that the rims of her jeans were muddy.

Are you okay? He asked.

No reply.

Jack said, I'll wait.

Surprising Alex, Jack sat down next to her, and across the room Boone raised an eyebrow. For a moment Jack thought Alex was just going to let him sit there until..

Get away from me.

The demand was muttered softly and coldy. Jack was sure Boone wasn't able to hear it from his distance away. Instead of moving, Jack studied her, trying to figure out what was wrong.

Get the hell away from me! Alex cried.

A few moans came from sleeping survivors and sighing, Jack obeyed relucantly, not wanting to start a scene. He crossed over to his caves and one last feeling of hope sinked in before being let down when seeing that once again, Kate wasn't there.

At the beach

His name was Winston Vaughn, Sawyer read, from Brittan.Nice name, Kate commented, he didn't have an accent.

The body washed up on shore a few minutes after the shot was fired, and the two found this guy- Vaughn- dead with a bullet wound to the head. Sawyer searched him and found an idea in his back pocket.

Living on an island, you don't talk much, Sawyer reminded, and he was thirty-eight.That's about Jack's age, Kate said to herself.

He's that old? Sawyer snorted.

And how old are you? Kate raised an eyebrow.

Probably too old for you, Freckles, Sawyer teased.

His eyes twinkled at the use of her old nickname, which made Kate's heart leap. Maybe she and Sawyer weren't on the same page here. Sawyer looked down when she didn't reply.

he said quietly, we gonna bury this guy?

At the Caves

Boone had never had a headache quite like this one. He made a mental note to think Locke for knocking him unconsious for the dozenth time on the island. Groaning,
Boone rubbed his hands over his tired eyes, praying for sleep to come.

said a voice entering the caves.

It's morning? Boone said, stretching his kneck to try and get a good look outside.

It is for you, Locke smiled.

He took an empty waterbottle out of his backpack and began refilling it.

How's the recovery going? Locke asked as he capped the bottle and began refilling the second one.

It was obvious that he didn't plan on returning for a while.

Boone said, feel like an old man just clubbed me in the head.

Locke smiled.

You missed my speach, he said.

Boone muttered.

Feel like going on a walk? Locke offered.

This isn't like a date, is it? Boone said with a raised eyebrow.

Locke laughed.

Boone said, help me up.

Locke stuck out a hand and lifted Boone up. Once to his feet, Boone experience a wave of diziness, but after that it was just like walking with an everday headache. He and Locke left the caves and began walking down what he soon recognized as the path to the hatch.

I guess the island doesn't come with medical leave, Boone mumbled.

Part of recovering is getting back to old routines, Locke said smartly.

They turned paths and after having to devote all his attention to making sure he didn't trip over a limb that he could see in the daytime, but not at night, Boone got his chance to ask the one thing he'd been wanting to know since he had woken up.

What did I miss?Shannon, preferably, Boone said, blushing.

He was now thankful it was dark out.

She's been fine, Locke said simply, though by the quickness of his answer, Boone knew that there had to be more to the story.

You're lying, he accused.

I'm not.

Boone sighed, hoping to come across as desperate. It must of worked.

She and Charlie have been talking a lot, Locke admited.

About what?I'm not sure, Locke said, but there's a chance that..

Locke trailed off, hesitant to finish, but Boone thought he got the picture.

Chance of what? He said and looked at Locke. Of something between Shannon and Charlie- Boone snorted, no way.

He continued laughing at the thought of Shannon and Charlie having any kind of relationship, but Locke didn't seem as amused.

Are you serious? He stopped laughing. Shannon and Charlie?Have you ever considered, Locke began carefully, that Shannon doesn't want to be in a relationship with you?Last I checked, she is, Boone couldn't help but to let the snobby side of himself come out.

He was furious with Locke for making the suggestions. It was so..outrageous. Ridduclous. Insane. Pathetic. Shannon and Charlie..no, that wouldn't last, not in a miilion years, no matter what Locke said. But then again..

She uh.. Jack thought quickly, went to the beach to get her stuff. She was going to stay here for the night. Charlie went with her.You don't really think something's going on between them? He asked Locke. Do you?

Locke smiled as if he he had known all the time that the question would come up and he'd get to play counceler once more.

Why do you love her?

He wasn't about to pour out his soul to Locke, of all people, so he started with the obvious.

She's beautiful, he began, and..she's always there, you know?From what it sounds like, Locke said, you're the one who's always been there for her.

Boone stopped walking as the realization had come over him. He could convince himself that Shannon was there for him all he wanted, but he could never be sure unless they talked it out, which he couldn't see happening. He closed his eyes and sighed.

I'm an idiot, Boone announced.

It happens to the best of us, Locke said cheerfully.

Boone leaned back against a tree, comtemplating what to do. Would Shannon still assume that the two of them were in a relationship and leave Charlie all together? Or would she just assume he didn't know about her affair and go on with life as said? Or has she had time to think things through and has already decided that the perfect relationship didn't evolve him?

For Boone, now that he thought about it, maybe his relationship with Shannon hadn't always been a two way street. Trust still wasn't a settled part in their relationship, and Boone wasn't sure if Shannon would be willing to work through it. The thing was, it was obvious that Shannon and Sayid had everything that the two of them didn't: the trust, the passion, and the general liking for each other. It hadn't gotten past him that the only reason Shannon had even considered him was because she and Sayid were feuding. Maybe it was time to stop fooling himself.

Where are you going? Locke yelled after Boone as he took off towards the beach.

To find Sayid! Boone called behind him.

Miles Down the Beach

Kate sat with her knees up in front of her, watching solemnly as Sawyer spread the last handful of dirt over the body. They didn't know where any shovels and didn't want a scene started over the death(or questions asked about why they were on the beach together that night), so they found a pit near where the jungle met the beach and lowered the body into it. Sawyer insisted on finishing the burial, and Kate didn't protest, both from exhausted and one too many experiences with dead bodies.

Last night had been her most restless night of sleep in weeks. Sleep came so easily when she was with Jack. Even though she knew that she was capable of taking out anyone who came her way if she tried, there was still a sense of protection with Jack that she didn't feel with Sawyer, though she knew he cared about her. Kate just wasn't sure if she felt the same way back towards him.

Any last words?

Sawyer's voice brought her attantion up. He looked like he was about to fall into the pit himself. Dirt covered his hands to his elbows, and Sawyer reaked of sweat, even more so than earlier.

Kate replied quietly, and looked down to the ground.

All right then, Sawyer said, and wiped his hands on his jeans, which Kate was sure was only for show; the gesture didn't help his current hygine problem at all.

Sawyer then sat down beside Kate, and stared at the grave along with her.

There's nothin' you could've done, Sawyer said at last.

I'm not blaming myself, Kate stated softly.

Sawyer muttered with a smirk.

He lit a cigaret and soon the smell of smoke blended in right well with the smell of death. They might as well have been in hell. The juggling of keys was soon heard and Kate looked over in curiousity to see Sawyer pulling a keychain out of his pocket.

Found this on him, Sawyer said, dangling the chain in front of him, take a look.

Handing over the keys, Kate's eyes landed on one object in particular: one of those small key-ring photos. In the picture was the man, Winston, a smiling brunet, and two gorgeous kids, no more than five or seven, who looked just like their parents.
Kate felt tears sting her eyes and swiped at them with her hand before they fell.

That's the worse part, ain't it? Sawyer said, taking a long drag from the cigaret. Finding out they have family, kids, a wife..Everything you didn't, Kate offered softly.

Her head exploaded with juggling all the thoughts. Thoughts of Jack, Sawyer, the suicide. She wished she had a wall she could punch, a door to slam, or a teddy bear to throw. It was like she was taking an exam in school: Jack or Sawyer: the pros and cons of a relationship. The main difference to Kate was that Jack was always willing to give herself a chance to start over. She could be herself around him..her real self. The person she used to be long ago. Sure Sawyer was fun, but she wasn't sure that she liked the fact that the only reason she and Sawyer would have any kind of relationship would be because she was a criminal like he was. That didn't matter to Jack before or after he found out about her past. The sun would be coming up in a few hours and she'd have to face Jack, and Kate knew that she needed a straight story. She was sick of this love triangle crap. Kate drew in a deep breath.

This isn't going to work, she said quietly.

Part of her hoped that maybe Sawyer didn't hear it. She knew this wasn't going to be easy..

What's not?

No such luck.

Kate said, pointing between them, me and you. It's just- she shook her head, I can't.You can't, or you're afraid? Sawyer tested.

Kate swallowed. This was going to be harder than she thought.

I can't, she said, and then sighed, look..it'd be like dating a twin! You and I..you know the only reason you like me anyway is because I'm a criminal like you.

Sawyer snorted.

Oh, yeah, right, he said, sounding slight hurt, mean old Sawyer can't have a heart. Why don't you go ahead and cover me with alumnium? Kate corrected with a small smile.

Sawyer mumbled and put out his cigaret, leaving the area pitch black.

I'm sure somewhere out there there's that perfect woman for you, Kate went on, she may not be old enough to drink..but she's still there- she chuckled at her own joke, you know?

Sawyer didn't reply.

People like Jack just don't step into bars, Kate stopped, thinking about it, well, people like Jack don't go to bars..anyway..it's just fate, you know?So you don't want to be with me because you're afraid of playing fate, Sawyer said, trying to obsorb the statement.

Sort of.. Kate sighed, Jack's just..different, that's all. Sawyer stood to his feet, well why don't you go back to your perfect boyfriend-He's not perfect, Kate defended.

-and see what he thinks about this all.

Sawyer began walking off but stopped after only a few paces.

But Kate-

Kate turned around, surprised to hear her name come from him.

What happens on the island, stays on the island, he said, he never has to know.

Kate nodded. Somehow she knew that the proposal was made for Sawyer's hopes of not getting slammed by Jack more than her own benifit, though deep down she knew that the agreement wouldn't last.

In the Jungle

Boone raced through the jungle calling Sayid's name in hopes of finding him before he had time to rethink his decision.

Boone called once more.

Someone's hand calmped down over his mouth and Boone struggled, trying to free himself, before he realized that it was only Sayid.

Are you trying to wake the dead? Sayid hissed quietly, releasing him.

Boone said, catching his breath, it's just..you can have her?

Sayid looked puzzled.

Excuse me? Boone explained, you can have her. Me and Shannon do not exist. Consider me out of your hair. After right now, you never even have to tlak to me again. In fact, you can go ahead and punch me for sleeping with her.

You slept with her? Sayid said, disgusted.

Boone said, not really..not recently- he shook his head as Sayid began to look furious, just, forget it. She's yours. Congradulations. You win.

Sayid studied him.

Are you sure? He said carefully.

Boone said, even though part of him was still longing to be with Shannon, I mean with you she's happy. She's changed. And besides, it took me years to fall in love with her and it only took you a few weeks.

He had decided that he had never really been in love in love with Shannon until they grew much older. They had known each other for years before that. If something was there, one of them would've known.

Have you talked with Shannon about this? Sayid asked as if they were arranging a buisness deal.

I think you should, Boone said, trust me, she likes you better.

Boone sighed as he finally finished his declaration and looked down. Once again the feeling that Sayid was somewhat superior to him came, and Boone felt like a kid having to tell a teacher why he cheating on a test.

She should still be at the beach, Boone said, softer than before, Jack told me Charlie walked her back there for the night.

He decided it was best not to mention the Charlie factor. If Shannon wanted Sayid to know about that, that was her doing. Sayid raised an eyebrow at the statement, and that was the first time that Boone suspected that he was being lied to.

I'll talk to her, Sayid finally agreed.

Boone muttered, relieved that that was over with.

Yet even as Sayid walked back to the beach part of Boone was pushing himself to call him back, tell him that it was a joke. April Fools. Sorry, but she's my girl. But before Boone had a chance to say anything Sayid had already disapeared into the darkness.

Shannon's Camp

Shannon sat with her knees drawn to her chest, staring out into the ocean, unable to sleep. Truthfully Shannon was scared to death to be sitting alone in the dark. Just the knowledge that the jungle was behind her was enough to send shivers down her spine.

That was a nice thing you did, said a voice from behind her.

She flinched the slightest at the footsteps, but the calmness of Sayid's voice made her grateful for company.

I think Alex needs a friend right now, he finished, sitting down in the empty place next to her.

Who said anything about being friends? Shannon spat bitterly.

She regreted it immediatly after and prayed Alex wasn't listening in nearby. Sayid cupped her chin as she was so used to him doing, forcing her to meet his eyes.

I know you don't really think like that, he said.

I'm sorry, Shannon said truthfully and Sayid let go, I'm just..afraid.

If there was one thing Shannon hated was admiting weakness, who didn't? Sure she may do just that all the time, but it wasn't exactly something she was proud of.

I mean, there's this crazy guy on the lose and-I tied him up, Sayid cut in.

Shannon stared at him. She had heard stories about what happened the time they thought Sawyer took the meds, leading to Sayid's departure. What thing could push his button like that again?

You're not going to hurt him, are you? Shannon asked, shaking a little.

She didn't know why. After all the boy had done he deserved it. Shannon supposed it was just the fact that Sayid was capable of doing something like that scared her.

Not if I can help it, Sayid promised.

Shannon turned away, back to the ocean.

I ran into Boone in the jungle, Sayid said, I think he gave you over to me.How'd he manage that? Shannon snorted, thinking that that sounded exactly like something Boone would do.

He basically said that we belong together, Sayid explained, that you should be with him, not me.He said that? Shannon said, looking back at Sayid.

Sayid nodded.

But what matters is what you think, Sayid said before she could say anything else. What do you think?What do I think? Shannon wondered out loud. I think..

She placed his lips on his, and they brushed together. Once they broke apart Shannon stared into his eyes, wondering how she allowed herself to be apart from him for so long.

I think he was right.

They kissed again and stayed together until early that morning, when she fell asleep in his arms.

Author's Notes: Okay, so you guys were just cheated out of a love scene, but I'm really too tired to write one right now..and I'm watching Medium(which is excellent, by the way). I know that some of you guys are Shannon/Boone fans but don't give up hope yet, just remember that there's always that jealousy with Boone. Thanks so much for all the reviews! To answer a few questions in one line, the numbers have no signifigance(they're just a pattern I liked), but they do have an important meaning. What that meaning is exactly, I'm still working out. The crazy dude who killed himself was not Desmond nor Kyle, and the guy is dead. You have seen him before but only those of you who have been here from the beginning(or close to it) will remember, and if you actually do then my props to ya. As for Kyle, his fate will be resolved next chapter or one after next. This is dragging out longer than I expected because these are not the story lines to rush into. Anyway, thanks again! You guys rock!

Coming up next, on As You Like It:

Alex's denial grows worst, but no one can remain silent forever.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

+ October Sky