Disclaimer: You know what? I can't be bothered been witty or daft I DON'T OWN RED DWARF OK?
Well Sian's luck has ran out, this 3rd installment is the LAST - NO MORE! - Ha! (Twitches)
Ok, so maybe the mice cage wasn't the best idea in the world – He's not very good at tracking – maybe he won't notice the tracks… Ok I was wrong – I even went through tonnes of vents! Curse his ship schematics!
On the other hand the fact I'm now talking to myself might have something to do with it…
Oh well mustn't grumble… Oh a space weevil! Awwww I wonder why it ran away really fast? It's not like I'm annoying or anything!
I wish I was part human – Then I could eat my own toast!... I'm not self absorbed am I? I mean I was given protocols – I can't break them – I don't even want to! I mean if I got past the stage of wanting to serve toasted products and what have I got left? Nothing! – I haven't even got a Silicon Heaven Belief Chip! I guess they never thought a toaster would need religious beliefs… Guess they didn't think I'd be stuck in a place where only two people can physically eat, and neither want toast!
You know I can hear him, well he's panting away like you wouldn't believe – He should have taken the Xpress lift… Ah not safe for pregnant people – Wonder if he would get rid of the hammer if I got Bob to stick a label on me saying "Too Dangerous to be touched by pregnant crazy man in Hawaiian shirt that is hanging open because of bulge"?
Nah – Even he isn't that stupid… Well at least I don't think he is. Oh well I've still got my singing! Ah there he is – maybe instead of toast I should sooth the savage Lister with my voice? – Fly me to the moon and let me play among the - (THUMP) Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaarsssssss! – (THUMP) – Toaaaaaaaaaaaaaast? – (THUMP)
THE END
Ok Sian? It's OVER! Its short, its crap and it is THE END! No more chapters! It's a triple shot because of you and DEAL WITH IT! (Puts on Stasis Leak and relaxes)