"You are doing yourself violence. Violence my soul. And you will have no second occasion to do yourself honor." Marcus Aurelius Antonius

Kara stood back against the wall of the school, where she was fairly sure the others could not see her. She had not been standing here long, and didn't mean to be. But for now, just for a moment, she wanted to watch them while remaining unobserved.

Lee was on his feet, again, which chafed her. He should have been in bed, letting his muscles knit. But if he wanted to be a moron that was not her problem. He seemed to be in close conference with Walker, pouring over a sheet of paper the marine had handed him, and pointing occasionally. The other marines stood back a short distance, listening intently and awaiting instructions. They had only just gathered here about half an hour ago, or so Anders had told her. He had also mentioned that no one had seen Helo or Sharon this morning, and Starbuck did not see them here. She didn't see Racetrack either, incidentally. Or Seek. It was strange, seeing Lee without his shadow, and stranger still to think that the dog had become such an indelible part of their captain in the short time she'd been with him. It was like seeing Lee without an arm, and noticing that it was really weird that he would have had three arms before now.

Kara knew the reason for her hesitation, knew why she did not want to approach them yet. It was the same reason she had avoided Lee before now, only now it would roll off her. She would stink of it, at least to Lee's senses. And she knew it.

She had spent last night with Anders, and utterly ravaged him. Her body still ached. It had been very, very angry sex, and he had known it. He hadn't said anything about it though, thank the gods. He had also been gone when she woke up in the morning. That had suited her fine too. She hadn't really wanted for face him. It wasn't as embarrassing as the Baltar incident, but it had been just as obvious, as far as she was concerned, that her head at been somewhere else. When he had come to find her, to tell her several members of the Galactica landing party seemed to be up to something in the center yard, he had not mentioned it. He had not, in fact, mentioned anything to her at all, about anything at all, other than several members of her crew were meeting in the center yard. She did not know where he was now. She just knew that she had made no secret at all of the fact that she was going to sleep with him last night, and that Lee would probably know it the second she walked up to him. Bastard always knows.

So what if he does? I don't owe him a damned thing.

With a growl in her heart and as casual an expression as she could manage on her face, she pushed off the wall and out of the shadows. Had they been on Galactica, or in any other situation really, she would probably have avoided him. She would have thrown herself into her work, gone over his head to keep from having to confront him. Why did she do that? She could not have said. Which is not to say she didn't know…but she could never, ever have said.

Landin marked her when she was no more than halfway across to them. Then Shields, then Walker. Lee's back was to her though. If he noticed the marines stiffening to an uneasy attention he gave no indication.

"I'm wondering if we can dig up some more advanced math and science texts," he was saying. "We're going to need engineers more than poets I think." He glanced sidelong at her when she drew up beside him, then back down at the manifest. "Good morning, Lieutenant," he said stiffly. "Sleep well?"

Oh you bastard.

"'Morning, Captain. Packing to go without me?"

"Not at all. We were just getting some school supplies to take back to the fleet. Corporal Walker's idea."

Walker practically beamed. The awkwardness of the situation not withstanding, he was a man who knew how to be proud when called upon.

"We should look in the science labs too. Might be something in there we can use."

Lee nodded. He had probably already thought of that, though even if he hadn't, he would not tell her. Not in his present mood. He ran through his list for what was probably the hundredth time, checking off a few items as he went. Many items were checked off already, and a sizeable stack of boxes had been assembled a few feet away. How long had they been at this? If they had been here only half an hour, as Anders had said they must have been working with insane speed. That did not seem likely.

"Ok," Lee said, looking up from his list. "We've cleaned out most of the classrooms of what was left. Now let's hit the school library. Anything that hasn't been used as toilet paper will be useful."

"Yeah," Landin grunted. "Since I doubt we'll have any printing presses up for a while."

"Or anyone composing sonnets," Shields put in.

"Hardly been a time for the poetical, that's sure."

"Come on guys, let's stay focused here. We've got quite a few history texts, but we'll want find more specific works, maybe some first person stuff if we can get it. Look for any engineering, biology, physics books you can find. Classical literature and art would be good too. Grab some story books for the littlest kids, but mainly we want anything that could be a useful training resource." He flashed a grin. "Leave the romance novels on the shelves."

"They allow those in schools, Cap?"

"Not in ours."

"Oh I don't know, Apollo," Starbuck quipped. "People need all kinds of education."

"Didn't know you were one for book learning, Starbuck. Practice makes perfect, right?"

And, that quickly, the tension settled over them again. Lee shifted a little, angling his shoulders away from her. Landin, Walker, and Shields made a great show of checking the boxes that had already been brought out, as if to see that they had not missed anything.

"If you have something to say Lee, say it." Definitely a different strategy than she had employed last time, but then since that particular incident had ended in an abbreviated fist fight, it might be time to rethink her tactics.

Lee turned, facing her directly for the first time since she had approached. He looked drained. And there was something else, something she couldn't quite place. And when she did, it scared her in away she could not explain. Lee Adama looked resigned, as if to a fate he had made peace with. He leaned heavily on his cane, and even the act of lowering the hand that held the manifest to his side seemed to unbalance him somewhat. His eyes hit hers with the force of death. She was not sure she had ever seen him so cold. Not even in the hanger deck, when she had tried to tell him she was sorry… Not when he had tried to kill Sharon. Never, in all the years she had known him.

But he didn't say anything. He just stared at her, let her read what she would from his gaze. There was nothing he could say, after all. This was not the place, and now was the not the time to get into their issues. Lee knew where Kara had been last night. And it didn't matter. No one could have been more shocked to realize this than Lee Adama, rest assured. Still, with everything he had been through, and with everything he would no doubt see before the end, this one, final blow had hardly fazed him at all. It had only served to confirm what he had to do now, and a steely resolve had settled over him like a pall.

"Sir?" Landin ventured carefully. "I'm sorry sirs, but we don't have much time."

Lee nodded stiffly, and turned. He left a very confused an annoyed Kara Thrace at his back. Had that only been a ploy to rescue one or the other from their little showdown? It must have been. Starbuck could not imagine what could possibly be so pressing, that Landin thought they did not have time to stand for a few minutes and stare each other down. She knew they all wanted off Caprica, but she had not been given any set time or date for leaving. She had not, for that matter, decided definitively that she was going with them.

Lee joined the marines for a perplexingly hurried conference. She could not hear what was said, but could clearly see that they all looked strained. They reached an agreement on whatever issue they were discussing, and Lee headed off across the yard, back towards the playing fields. Shields addressed Starbuck, mercifully, because listening to him made it easier to avoid watching Apollo walk away.

"We're going up to the library now, sir, if you'd like to join us." He smiled, indicated his arm, which was still suspended in a sling. "We
could use another strong pair of hands."

It's interesting, the labels we apply to ourselves. It's interesting how we grow into them, define ourselves by them. And it's interesting how easily those archetypes shift as our lives warp and twist with the years.

For example, Margaret Edmondson, Lieutenant of the Colonial Fleet, had always been a cat person. When she was a little girl, she had begged for kittens instead of puppies or ponies. She had snuck a stray cat into her dorm while in college, and gotten hell for it when one of her floormates reported her. She had had three cats of her own, which had stayed at her parents' house while she was on a cruise, and of which she kept pictures in her locker, right alongside Mom and Dad. Anyone who met her could guess immediately where her affinity lay; she fit the stereotype perfectly.

And now here she was, standing in the old playing fields at the Delphi Union High School, very much a dog person. She did not really understand how it happened. These things, it seemed, came about strictly of their own design. To say nothing of the fact that the shift had been as dramatic as it had been abrupt. This was no fuzzy little puppy she held at the end of the leash. Seek weighed one hundred and fifty pounds easily, and Racetrack had heard from Landin and Shields that this shepherd-malamute type dog could tear apart a cylon as if it were…well, a kitten.

Hell of a way to cut one's teeth on dogs.

Racetrack had left the others about an hour ago, at Captain Adama's order, to walk the dog around the compound. Begging out of any offense she might take, the captain had said that a pretty, amiable woman is always approachable, and would diffuse any unease an intimidating dog like Seek might cause. Racetrack was to be friendly and open, chatting idly and engaging in any social opportunities that might present themselves. If Seek had any kind of adverse reaction, to anyone at all, under any circumstances, it was to be reported immediately.

It was an easy job; even a pleasant one. She was out and about meeting new people (which after just about one hundred days on Galactica was refreshing in its own right) and playing with a dog while the others were engaged to various degrees in difficult or dangerous undertakings. She had felt guilty about that at first, but the feeling had subsided as soon as she realized that, of all of them, she was the one most likely to encounter a hostile cylon.

That had deflated the mood somewhat.

The playing fields had been mostly empty. They were the most exposed areas of the compound, with no walls between them and the cylon threat beyond. Though the cylons did not patrol this area frequently, no one was willing to call them to task by hanging around in the open unnecessarily. The only people she found out there were sentries, posted behind file cabinet barricades at regular intervals along the perimeter. They had been happy to chat with her, and even happier to see Seek along, but had gently chided her for risking herself and sent her back to the compound. Which was fine. As much as she liked these guys, she had no desire to hang around in the open any longer than was necessary to confirm none of the guards were cylons.

She was just walking back toward the library to make her report when she saw Apollo approaching. Seek strained against the leash, chuffing softly in that way she had, furiously wagging her big fluffy tail. The grim expression melted from Apollo's face. He nodded a greeting at Racetrack, and lowered himself to a knee to accept the big dog's head in his chest and ruffle her fur playfully. That had to hurt him, playing with her like that. The dog, of course, did not understand that her friend was cut, and bruised, and abused on pretty much every surface of his body. Cracked ribs mean nothing to a dog. The bullet wound in his shoulder, though it was healing fairly, and inexplicably, well, must have been screaming. But the captain welcomed Seek's greeting anyway. He would not have been able to explain to Racetrack, if she had asked him, how pain dealt by love was as much a salve for him right now as anything the medics could have given him. It brought him back into his body, back into his head.

"No cylons I take it?"

"No, sir. Not so far." Racetrack handed the leash back to him, though he had not asked for it. There was no doubt in anyone's mind to whom the dog belonged, and Seek looked more comfortable in Lee's care away. He used her to brace as he pushed himself to his feet. "How's the op going, sir?"

"Operation Homework?" he said with a brief chuckle. "Fine. They're in the library now, scavenging. We should have everything we're going to take with us ready to pack up by this afternoon."

With a slight nod of his head, he indicated that she should follow as he turned and made his way back the way he had come. He still walked slowly, but was as solid on his feet as anyone could have expected. She shortened her stride to stay alongside him, marveling that the dog seemed to know to do the same.

"So far we're on schedule," Apollo said. "If acquiring the Raider goes as smoothly as Sharon seems to think it will, she and Helo should be back by tonight."

"I don't understand that," Racetrack said, shaking her head. "We're assuming the cylons have the Raider we came here on, and we know that they know we're here. So what makes her think it will be so easy to steal another one right out from under the toasters' noses?"

Lee shrugged…wincing immediately thereafter. "I don't know, Lieutenant. Maybe because it makes so little logical sense. She assumes that they'll assume that she'll be more reasonable than that, because she's a toaster too."

"And machines are supposed to operate on logic."

He nodded. It made a twisted sort of sense. And if Sharon thought she could do it…well, she'd never failed to play her part before.

Sharon was taking her leap of anti-logic to greater extremes than even Apollo would have guessed. Not only was she going after a heavy Raider, but she was going after the exact same heavy Raider that they had come here in.

"But why?" Helo demanded, dogging along on her tireless heels.

"Because they won't expect us to," she answered simply. "Anyway, it'll be easier. That one already knows us."

Which was true. Interesting thing about that Raider was that, with Sharon at the helm, they had not had to kill it to use it; the thing had simply obeyed Sharon. The commander had been as close to furious as anyone had ever seen him in public when he found out that a live cylon Raider had been sitting, quiet and undisturbed, on the Astral Queen since Starbuck, Sharon, and Helo had returned from Caprica. There had been some concern that the Raider would turn on them, somehow activated by other cylons when a basestar, or other Raider, was nearby, or by other cylon agents in the fleet. Sharon's assurance that she had taken steps to prevent that had not done much to assuage anyone's fears, but at least they hadn't killed the thing. Starbuck had named it Joe, which for some reason Sharon had found infinitely amusing.

"This is insane. What even makes you think it will still be there?"

"It will be."

"Gods woman you're impossible."

"Don't swear."

They took a break around midday, which, for reasons Sharon could not quite grasp, seemed to be the default time for humans to rest. She was not tired of course, but she had been pushing Helo pretty hard. In truth, she had no way of knowing Joe would be where they had left it. She was, however, all but positive that the cylons on Caprica would have found the Raider; she had not been joking when she had told them that they would have to move away from the ship as soon as possible upon landing. But her strategy here was to make the boldest, most illogical moves possible, and returning to their landing site to find the ship they'd flown in on, wrest if from the hands of their enemies, and fly it back to the Delphi Union High School, which they hadn't been able to fly it into in the first place, seemed to fit the bill. Besides, she liked Joe.

Based on a map they had… liberated from a resistance scout, and a general bearing they had supposed based on the direction the resistance party had been coming from when they met them on the ridge and the direction they had traveled to get to the school, they were able to plot a decent overland route. They made good time too, because Sharon never slowed and Helo did not like being shown up. Helo guessed it to be about fifteen hundred hours when they arrived at the landing site. It was strange, and painful, to think about how close to the resistance base they had actually been when their scouting party had fallen under attack.

They kept their distance, crouched low in the shadowy underbrush and taking stock of the situation. As they had guessed, the cylons had in fact found their landing site. That was not the amazing thing. The amazing thing, the thing that wiped all words and coherent thought clean out of Karl Agathon's head, was that Joe was still there.

The cylons had been tinkering with it. There were four centurion here and two human model cylons: a Doral, and a Sharon.

"They're trying to trick it," Sharon whispered, a touch of pride in her voice. "They want it to think that's me."

The other Sharon was talking to the Raider, running her finger tips down the length of it, murmuring sweetly. Nothing. Joe was not fooled. There was evidence that they had been fiddling with its hardware as well; a panel had been removed, and there were some scorch marks on the back end that had not been there before. Apparently they had had some difficulty getting Joe to open wide for the doctor. How long had they been working at it, trying to fix whatever Sharon had done? What had Sharon done?

"If they can't fix it, they'll destroy it," Sharon said. "We have to move quickly."

"Well if they haven't killed it already I don't think a few more minutes will make much difference. What's the plan?"

"Kill them all, get our ship back." She flashed him a mischievous grin, loving how appalled he was.

"Gods Sharon tell me you have a better plan that that." They were, after all, two facing a force of six.

"Just follow my lead."

They would want to take the other Sharon out first if it came to that, just in case Joe was getting a little confused and was just being stubborn. Hopefully, though, it wasn't, so that neither of them would have to do it. It would be difficult for Helo, shooting Sharon down, just as it would be strange for Sharon to shoot herself. Damn near impossible actually, on both counts.

She and Helo were both well armed, and had the element of surprise on their side, but without Joe to help them this could shape up to be a downright ridiculous fight. Maintaining their distance, Helo and Sharon carefully made their way around towards the other side of the ship, closer to the rear hatchway. The cylons were mostly at the front end, except for one centurion standing on the ramp in the back. Sharon allowed herself a slight smile of satisfaction. If they moved quickly, and all went as she planned, this would be disgustingly easy. Anti-climactic almost, which she could live with.

She met Helo's eyes, counting down on her fingers…

Three. Two. One.

The two of them leapt out from cover, sprinting at the Raider as fast as their legs could carry them and concentrating all their fire on the centurion standing on the ramp. They downed it, but the centurions at the front had zeroed in on them and were striding towards the back, guns ablaze.

"Helo!" Sharon barked. "Move!"

Shouting at him had been reflex. He was right on her heels. The human model cylons had moved around to watch the fight, though they themselves stayed back out of it. Doral's face was, as ever, impassive, while Sharon looked fascinated, and a little anxious. The centurions were shooting at her pregnant doppelganger after all.

Helo and Sharon were on the ramp in almost the same instant. Helo turned to continue firing at the centurions, ducking back as close to the edge of the hatch as he could get. Sharon ran towards the front.

"Joe!" she called. "Close the door!" For the span of half a heartbeat, Joe hesitated. But no longer. Too slowly, the ramp began to rise. She could hear the ship powering up. "Take off!"

With the ramp still half-way up, the Raider began to rise. Without being asked it began firing at the centurions and human model cylons that had been banging and tearing and enticing it for the last several days.

Helo staggered a little as the deck pitched beneath his feet, recovering quickly and heading towards the bow. He was breathy and exhilarated from battle, and impossibly confused. How had that even been possible?

"Sharon. What did you…How did you…?" It was no use. He was still out of breath.

She smiled. It had been Starbuck who had, unintentionally, given her the idea, though she had not been at all sure it would work. She had not been sure of anything, not one thing, all day. But when she had seen the Raider still parked where they had left it, had seen that they other cylons could not get it to move, she had realized that, impossibly, her crazy notion had worked. Strange that, as advanced as the cylons were, humanizing them gave them their greatest power.

"Before we left," she explained to her dumbfounded lover, "I told Joe not to move for anyone unless they knew his name."

The afternoon had passed pleasantly enough. Lee had not been around much, so she had only had the marines to deal with. They were a good group of men, naturally easy-going, and she enjoyed their company. Several hours had been spent in the library, pouring ravenously over precious books they had read in their school days, laughingly asking each other if they remembered certain stories. Funny how much a chore reading seems to be when you're in school, but every book is like a treasure when you've thought you'd never see it again.

They had had to pick and choose their titles of course. That, as it turned out, was the hardest part. The library at the Delphi Union High School had been well stocked, and ten heavy Raiders would not have taken all of the books. They packed as much as they could into whatever boxes and sacks they had found, stacking the books with loving care. They took some of the magazines too, to remember life as it had been. The idea was to take as much as they could conceivably fit into a heavy Raider, while leaving room for any passengers.

Carrying everything down to the yard and stacking it up took much of the afternoon. Anders and several of his resistance, including all that remained of the vaunted Caprica Buccaneers, turned up to help them organize and tote. Starbuck worked easily with Anders, though it was impossible for her to put her confusion and anger totally out of her mind. A playful banter started up between the Resistance men and woman and the Galactica crewmen. Starbuck did sense a self-possessed undertone from her people, but that she could ignore. Something about working, about providing something to those who don't have it, offering something only you can give, brings a joyful pride out of the hearts of men.

Starbuck could not relax totally into the spirit of the afternoon though. Racetrack had returned a little while after the library skimming had begun (what the marines called Operation Homework), but Lee had not reappeared, and she still did not see Helo or Sharon. Their absence was made more suspicious by the fact that Racetrack and the marines seemed to be going out of their way not to call attention to it. Not only did they refrain from verbally wondering where the missing three were, but they did not make mention of then in any context. The most she heard was Racetrack telling Walker that she had completed the south side and the playing fields, whatever that meant, and that the captain would finish the rest of the compound. By the time they had finished carrying everything they intended to take with them out into the yard, Kara was burning with curiosity. She did not ask though. If they were not telling her what was going on, then asking them would only be begging for a lie. She would not put them in that position, having been in it too many times herself.

They were all sitting around in the yard, leaning against the boxes and satchels, sipping bottles of water and chatting with the restrained amiability that seemed to be the order of the day, when Lee finally appeared.

"Good of you to join us Captain!" Landin called playfully. "Now that all the heavy lifting's done!"

"Sorry Lan," Lee replied lightly. "You know what they say about a good commander. He can go away for a few hours, kick back, and know that his men'll get the job done just as well without him." He had that tone, that not quite patronizing air, with a cockeyed half-smile and a dance in his eyes.

"Due respect sir, officers came up with that line to get out of doing the real work!"

"I don't doubt it."

Lee did not offer any further explanation for his absence, and they did not press him. Why should they? Starbuck thought bitterly. I'm the only one here who doesn't know where he's been.

That wasn't strictly true, though Starbuck had no way of knowing otherwise. Anders had been keeping tabs on the gallant captain of the Battlestar Galactica for some time. Apollo's heated duel with Starbuck the previous evening had only confirmed Anders doubts about the man. That he had been captured, apparently interrogated by the cylons, and simply released hardly counted in his favor, anymore than his apparent desire to exclude Starbuck from his recent dealings. If last night was any indication of the level of Kara's feelings on the matter of Captain Lee Adama, he could expect hell for taking the liberty, but he did not feel safe with his man in his house, unobserved.

It did not take a genius to figure out what Racetrack had been doing all morning, and Adama had been doing all afternoon. Anders had been there, at the service station. He had seen the way the dog reacted to cylons, and knew that Adama was screening his people. It was all Anders could do to keep from confronting him right then and there, demanding what right Apollo thought he had being suspicious of good men and women who fought every day against the cylons. But he held his tongue. Not that it mattered. Lee could see the animosity practically radiating out of the other man's eyes.

"A question for you Anders," Lee said. All conversation stopped when he spoke. That he had addressed Anders directly was not half as surprising as the question was. "When did your people plan to go on this raid of yours?"

"Couple days." Anders reply was careful, measured. Kara had told him what Apollo thought about the raid, and about it interfering with their timetable for leaving Caprica. "It'll take some time to organize and supply. Caprica City's no afternoon stroll, and we've lost a lot of our trucks."

"Hmm." Lee's gaze took on a distant look, his jaw working back and forth as he mulled something over. Starbuck noticed Racetrack and Walker exchanging significant glances, while Landin watched Lee attentively and Shields watched the dirt. Finally, Lee said, "Do you think you could push it up a few days?"

"Well I just said we're going in a few days. You want it pushed up to when?"

"Tomorrow."

Anders practically choked on the swig of water he had imprudently taken just then. Gods does this guy have some screws loose.

"I don't think so," he said when the coughing had subsided. "Like I said we have to organize our raiding party, get our supplies together. Then there's just getting there…"

"If getting there wasn't an issue. Could your people be ready to go by morning?"

"Where are you going with this Lee?" Starbuck cut in. She was beginning to add all of this up now, and was not sure if she liked the sum.

"Yeah I guess we could be." Anders, on the other hand, was getting interested despite himself. "What do you have in mind?"

"My people have to get back to the fleet," Lee said simply. "We can't wait a few days, then hike more days overland to Caprica City, fight, maybe lose some people, and hike back. But we should strike a solid blow for the Colonies while we're here. And we are not leaving anyone behind." He let his eyes skip briefly to Kara. Whether or not she herself had decided she was staying behind to clean up the Farms, Lee seemed to believe she would.

"So, what? You'll come with us if we leave tomorrow morning? What difference is a few days gonna make?"

"None," Lee said.

The timing was almost theatrical, and Kara would have been laughing like a loon if she hadn't been so inexplicably crushed by it. The Raider roared gloriously, displacing air and dust beneath it as it lowered to a landing across the yard. Racetrack and the marines exchanged delighted grins. Lee, who had never had Kara's sense of the dramatic, but was making good use of what sense he had, smiled at Anders' startled expression.

There was a touch of smugness in his voice when he said, "We'll leave in the morning."

author's note: I know this was more of a setup than anything, but I think it's one of the better written chapters so far, and I hope you enjoyed it. Now...props for anyone who can tell me what was funny, and why? ;-)