Author's Notes: …Next chapter? Beta-ed by Fatedtofall.

Please note: This fic is factually incorrect in regards to dances and the general management of strip clubs. This is intentional, so don't call me on it or I'll just laugh at you for not reading the author's notes.

Warning: If you really hate crossdressing, you probably won't like this fic.

Thinking back, Kajimoto decided that perhaps he should have pushed for a later date, preferably after all parties involved were long deceased. He'd been holding on the faint hope that the idea would end up not pulling through. (Though with Hanamura-sensei involved, it was more a pipe dream than anything else.) Now, with the glaring neon sign reading "Kajimoto's Strip Club" flashing above his head, any remaining optimism was promptly dashed. Rather viciously. Against sharp pointy rocks.

Wakato, seemingly oblivious to Kajimoto's distress, ran out and happily tugged him through the door. He had no time to look around before he was immediately beset by the Tanaka twins, who happily began hanging strands of Mardi Gras beads around his neck. He turned beseechingly to Wakato for help as Kouhei began to twine a large rainbow Slinky onto his wrist, only to be betrayed as Wakato gleefully wrapped a slightly sticky paper cape (made entirely out of yellow wrappers with English writing on them) around his shoulders.

"You've got to be just perfect!" crowed Youhei as he clipped a huge, glittery paper ¥ sign to Kajimoto's earring, handing him a plastic scepter of the same design. Once the twins had given him a bit of room to breathe, he scanned the room he was in—and instantly regretted doing so.

The twins were in gauzy, filmy dancing costumes that did nothing to hide the much scantier, sequin-covered outfits they had on underneath. On top of that, they were wearing make-up: silver glitter above their eyes, and lipstick matching their hair colors. Kajimoto found it simply disgusting. Yes, he did. Definitely. They most certainly were not remotely attractive. Really, they weren't! Okay, he was going to stop looking at them now; this was not doing good things for his sanity.

His look at Wakato, however, did not prove to be much better. Wakato was wearing a…decidedly feminine leotard, and was currently being assisted by Oota in the draping of a large number of colorful full-body veils over his person.

"I heard about some Arabic dance that had seven veils, so I figured, if seven was flashy, why not go for twenty-seven?"

Kajimoto raised his eyebrows as Wakato's face grew harder and harder to see. "Because they might totally obstruct your vision?"

Wakato shook the bulge where Kajimoto assumed his head to be. "Nonsense, buchou. I can see you clear as day."

"…I'm over here, Wakato."

"Oh, so you are. I think it's a no-go on those last few veils, Oota. We'd better stick with twelve."

When the requested number of veils were removed, Kajimoto squinted at the lump in front of him. He could barely make out the line of Wakato's body. That was most likely, he reasoned, the point of the dance; for the silhouette under the gauze to grow clearer as the layers were removed one by one, until…and even the admittedly ridiculous thought of Wakato yelling "CHANGE OVER!" as he removed each veil could not erase the image from his mind. No, definitely not doing good things for his sanity.

He firmly directed his gaze to Oota, who was clad completely in dark metallic green, blue and purple. With his goggles on and a pair of bobbling alien antennae on his head, he looked like a huge, glittering insect. He was applying fake tattoos to the arms of Kiriyama, who was dressed in biker leather with assorted spiked jewelry. The intimidating effect was somewhat lessened by the fact that the tattoos were along the lines of yellow smiley faces, and that Oota appeared to be using tattoo band-aids where he had run short. To finish it all off, he took a tube of red lipstick, drew a heart on Kiriyama's bicep, and wrote "Okaa-san" in the middle. …This wasn't very good for Kajimoto's sanity either, but in a different way.

The detrimental effect on Kajimoto's sanity was assisted by the fact that as soon as Oota was done with the lipstick, Kouhei grabbed it, pulled up Wakato's veils, and began applying it to him.

"No, don't pucker…like that, open your mouth a little."

Kajimoto firmly told himself that he was not going to look. He stared purposefully at the stage…where Oota was leading Youhei towards one of the poles.

"Do you remember the dance?" Oota asked, making an odd noise that made him seem even more like an insect.

Youhei nodded. "I think so." He hooked his legs around the pole and began…rubbing himself against it in a fashion that made Kajimoto's jaw drop slightly. He was going to look away. He was going to look away in a few seconds. He was going to look away, dammit. He tore his gaze from the utterly disturbing(really!) sight of Youhei dancing in a fashion that should definitely not be involved in any sort of school activity. Of course, Hanamura-sensei was involved, so that didn't really matter.

Speak of the Devil.

"Kajimoto-kun, why don't you wear this instead?" she crooned, holding up a pair of the shortest shorts Kajimoto had ever seen, and a couple of glittering nipple tassels. She herself was wearing a little more than that, but…only a little.

"Kajimoto-buchou's not dancing, Hanamura-sensei. He's our Sugar Daddy!" called Wakato, sporting bright red lips and now, fake eyelashes.

"Ah. I see then," Hanamura replied, pouting slightly, and then stalking off to observe Youhei's dancing more closely.

"Where's Shinjou?" Kajimoto inquired, almost dreading the answer.

Kouhei looked up from where he was applying rouge to Wakato's cheeks. "He insisted on a bartending outfit. Just because he's tending the bar. I mean, we had a slinky red dress for him and everything! But Hanamura-sensei said it was okay as long as he gave her a lap dance later. She drives a mean bargain, that Hanamura-sensei."

Kajimoto nodded uncomfortably. "I…suppose so."

His makeover done, the lump that was Wakato gestured to a large chair decorated in much the same manner as Kajimoto himself now was. "Go sit there! That's your throne!"

Kajimoto complied, glad that this appeared to be his only task. The twins were flicking the final lights on the switch panel, sending the room into dimness lit by multicolored flashing spotlights. Oota gave Kiriyama the all clear, and the "bouncer"opened the door.

Kajimoto's Strip Club was open for business.

Notes: FINALLY. That took FOREVER to write. Now the fun part starts! People from the other schools visit! Booked to show up so far are: Fuji & Tezuka, Golden Pair, Oshitari & Gakuto, Inui, Nanjiroh, and Sengoku, for various reasons that will be revealed later. (Well, Fuji and Tezuka is at the request of my beta, who hasn't actually seen the series, but thinks Tezuka is really hot, and likes Fuji 'cause he's "sadistic AND fluffy, which makes him mad cool, yo.")

Anyways, if anyone wants to request other people to show up, they can, because I'm bored. I'll do it if I can think of a reason for them to show up/think I can write them at all decently.

…And now I have to go finish writing this damn thing.