Hokey kokey, second batch coming right up!
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Please don't sue me!
FICLET NUMBER 6
Saruman had a hangover. Too much partying with the orcs… 'Nestor!' he yelled, summoning his butler.
'Yes master?' a high-pitched voice squeaked.
Saruman looked down to where the voice was coming from.
'AAAAH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!!' he shrieked.
'Dobby is a house-elf sir,' replied the ugly green thing.
Saruman collapsed into a chair. 'I never did like Mondays.'
FICLET NUMBER 7
Frodo was painting a picture of a horse. Sam came in to give Frodo a sponge bath.
'What are you painting?' asked Sam.
'It's called 'Liberty in the Realms of Injustice',' replied Frodo, slapping purple paint liberally on to the canvas.
'Uhhh… whatever dude. It just looks like a red circle with a white dot to me.'
'I'm using creative licence,' said Frodo tartly.
'Licence shmicence, it's crap. Stick to writing,' said Sam.
Frodo whipped out a machine gun and blasted Sam's ass out of Middle Earth.
FICLET NUMBER 8
All the members of the Fellowship were feeling a bit down after Gandalf fell in Moria, so Aragorn suggested that they sing a song to cheer themselves up.
'OH! I know a good one!' said Boromir. 'Repeat after me… I saw a bird…'
'I saw a bird,' sang the others obediently.
'With a yellow bill…'
'With a yellow bill…'
'It landed on…'
'It landed on…'
'My windowsill.'
'My windowsill.'
'I coaxed it in…'
'I coaxed it in…'
'With a piece of cheese…'
'With a piece of cheese…'
'And then I broke…'
'And then I broke…'
'Its little knees.'
'It's WHAT???!' Merry screeched. 'That is the cruellest, most barbaric song I have ever heard!'
'Hey, don't yell at me li'l bro. I just picked it up off the soldiers back in Gondor,' Boromir said.
'YOU'RE ALL STARK RAVING MAD!!!!' yelled Pippin, who was so bored he had to content himself with treading on the backs of Legolas's boots for want of better amusement.
'Stop that unless you want to be spending the rest of the day picking arrows out your butt,' the elf threatened.
Less ficlets there cos they were longer this time. Hope you liked them! Any ideas most welcome, as always. Mwah! P.S. I learnt the bird song at PGL. GO PIGGLES!!!