Well well well. Here we are again. Read on, my faithful worshippers! (Hey, a girl can dream, right?) Yay! I'm in a party mood at the moment… Ah, the wonders of Fox FM.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own, can't sue, don't try.
FICLET NUMBER 9
Gimli was muttering away to himself about the unfriendliness of the elves.
'If you don't quit talking by the time I've counted to 10 I'm gonna make you,' threatened Boromir who was trying to get to sleep.
'That is a direct violation of article 6 of the international declaration of human rights!' shouted Gimli, outraged.
'Two points mini-me. Firstly, article 6 is the right to a fair trial. You're thinking of article 10- the right to free speech. Secondly, you are just a dwarf, and therefore the rights don't apply to you,' Boromir pointed out.
Gimli burped.
'Ewww! Gross!' complained Legolas.
FICLET NUMBER 10
Aragorn was skinning a rabbit.
'What's that?' asked Pippin.
'This, my vertically-challenged friend, is a rabbit,' replied Aragorn with a hint of sarcasm.
'I know that's a rabbit, I was talking about that,' Pippin said, pointing to a teddy bear lying beside Aragorn.
'Oh, I think that's Boromir's…' said Aragorn.
'Heh heh heh! Boromir has a teddy bear!' Pippin sang.
'What's wrong with having a teddy bear?' asked Sam, who was picking herbs for the rabbit stew.
Pippin looked at Sam weirdly.
'Right… ummm… that was the wrong thing to say wasn't it?' Sam blushed.
Pippin nodded, and went off to taunt Legolas to pass the time.
FICLET NUMBER 11
Gimli was climbing some stairs in Moria. Legolas was close behind him.
'Hurry up!' ordered Legolas.
'Don't blame me if I'm a somewhat careful dwarf. I have vertigo,' replied Gimli testily.
'Yeah, and if you don't start climbing faster you're gonna be a somewhat careful dwarf with an arrow in your butt. Now MOVE!' shouted Legolas.
'Hey, don't go all PMS on me elfy-boy,' said Gimli under his breath.
FICLET NUMBER 12
The Fellowship was having a party. Gandalf was DJ-ing.
'Hey Gandalf, can you play 'The Macarena'?' asked Frodo.
'Coming right up,' replied Gandalf.
'The Macarena' started playing. And everyone for miles around heard the addictive tunes and rhythmic beats and flocked to the source of the wondrous music. And thus all the peoples of Middle-Earth were united in their love of the song to which everyone- big and small, pretty and ugly, meat-eater and vegetarian, could dance to. Even the Orcs, who could never pass up the chance to dance. And all feeling of hatred and resentment were forgotten in the partying that ensued.
Hope you liked my alternative ending there. Better than everyone dying… sniff. Having a bit of a writer's block at the moment… But I'm sure I can overcome that problem if I get lots of lovely reviews with yummy ideas… Keep on boogying people!