Not A Pretty Girl:Alchemy Dream

Summary: Aimless wandering brought Jay back to Emma – at another school. Jay is furious that no one informed him, and grudgingly goes after Manny for the details. But we all know Manny has a penchant for letting secrets slip, don't we? J.T. (finally) makes a move towards getting what he wants.

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Just look at them. Congregating by their little 11th year lockers, thinking they're just the shit. Jay looked through the brown tinted sunglasses down the hall at the threesome by the water fountain. As they did every morning, J.T. Yorke, Manny Santos and Toby Issacs stood in front of J.T.'s locker as he sifted through the papers stacked to the knees trying to find the right ones for 1st period. Manny filed her nails while she faked interest and/or understanding about whatever Toby talked about. Jay slammed his head backwards against the concrete wall, finding it completely unfortunate that he had to resort to such drastic measures. He straightened his parka and quickly walked towards the group.

Pulling his sunglasses on top of his head and squinting as the bright Degrassi fluorescent lights entered his pupils, he leaned against the locker behind Toby. He said nothing. They were absorbed in what was probably petty 11th year chit chat and didn't notice him until he cleared his throat. Toby jumped like a frightened cat, and instinctual backed up.

"Issacs, calm down. I need to talk to..." he looked at the three of them. "that one." He pointed at Manny.
"Just what is this about, Hogart." J.T. said without looking up. He put a notebook in his backpack. Jay sneered. He knew that one was close to Emma. He had watched her walking with him when the slut had ditched her. There was something about him, he seemed nice enough, but Jay would never admit that.

"You better mind your own shit, J. Crew. This has nothing to do with you." J.T. smirked and looked him up and down, turning back to his locker.

Jay widened his eyes and motioned for Manny to come.

"I have a name, Jay." Manny sneered, disgusted. Emma came to her mind. Part of her could see why she had latched onto him. After all, he had a solid jawline, nice eyes, a good enough body as far as she could tell, under all those layers, and a kind of bad-boy scruffy beard, 2 days in the making. Kinda like a Brillo pad. But he was diseased. Nasty. A man-whore. He USED her best friend, and now...

"Listen, Man-u-ella, come here. We need to talk. In private." Manny picked up her purple faux croc bag, and turned to Toby.

"I'll be right back. Don't leave without me." Toby nodded and turned his attention to his best friend, whose jaws were clenched.

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"Why did NO one tell me." Jay pushed her shoulder gently, trying to hide the rage.

"Because YOU don't need to know, Jay." Manny pushed him back.

"Too late, I saw her yesterday. Don't worry, I didn't speak to her. I didn't get the chance. Besides, why don't I? She was...special to me. You know that. You've got to know that."

Manny glared at him.

"Look! I'm being for real here. I would think that YOU, if no one else, would agree." He looked in her eyes, demanding some kind of answer. Manny stood with her arms crossed, staring at him, silent. Jay sighed and huffed moodily. "This was a waste of time." He began to walk away. Manny looked down, and sucked in air.

"Because you hurt her Jay!" she shouted down the hall. He stopped and turned. "A lot." He began walking towards her. He waited for more.

"Jay, you gave her an STD! After using her when she was vulnerable from the shooting!" Manny began to get angry. "And on top of it all, you got her pregnant Jay! You never even loved...oops..." By the look of utter shock on Jay's face, Manny knew she had won the one-step-too-far-game and spilled Emma's secret all in one go. She began backing up, slowly, and then more quickly. "I...I have to...g.." Jay violently grabbed Manny's wrist, pushing her against the wall.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me, I said she's pregnant. And before you ask, it's yours. Yes." Manny wished she could get rid of the burning guilt in her heart. She had told the one guy she was SURE Emma didn't want to know, and especially from someone else. Jay shut his eyes and backed off, rubbing his hands through his hair, knocking off his cap and not even knowing it. Manny watched as it fell to the floor. After licking his lips, he looked at her again.

"How far along. Is she."

"I don't know...she isn't showing or anything. I guess around 3 months?" Manny guessed.

"THREE months? The last time we, you know, was like in May." Manny looked at him, a little uncomfortable, and suddenly, Jay was wondering why he was spilling this to her, too. "You can go, slut. Go join your sad little friends." Manny clenched her teeth and spun on her heel. Jay watched her. He felt bad. "Hey!" Manny turned around to look at him. "Thanks, Manny." She poked her lips out, showing him some attitude, and barely nodded her head in acknowledgment. Jay looked around at the masses of students in the hall, the noise drowned out by his thoughts, and his fear. There were so many questions. Why had she not told him a little...sooner? And why hadn't she told him herself? Was she planning on keeping it? If so did she want him to play a role in its life? Woah, Jay, just...just calm down. He began wishing he hadn't smushed his last joint, right about now. Fidgeting his hands about in his pockets, he found his keys and considered ditching homeroom and taking a ride to clear his head. Then he considered trying to be responsible and going to class instead. And then he punched himself in the temple. COME ON, Jay. There never used to be a contest, here. He whined to himself, and grabbed his Trigonometry books off the floor. A grade9 jumped in fear as he pounded a nearby locker shut, leaving a weak dent.

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"So, what were you guys talking about?" J.T. asked Manny as the three of them walked from homeroom to Miss Sander's cooking class. Basically the deal with that is that Manny didn't want to be alone in that class, and forced J.T., which was easy, since he heard that guys that cook attract the GOOD girls, and he in turn forced Toby who was wary of not having an elective with him every year.

"He was just ragging on me. He's such a JERK!" Manny lied. She smiled at J.T., who faked a smile.

"Ha-ha, so what did you really talk about." Manny sighed, trying to concoct her lies better.

"He just...wanted to know where Emma was." J.T. panicked.

"And, you didn't tell him, right?"

"Of course not. I'm not stupid." Manny huffed, irritated. "Can we just go make these stupid cupcakes?"

"Yeah, but you're on your own. Toby and I are already in a group."

"Ugh, you mean I have to be in..." Suddenly, a rather short, and predictably annoying kid came up behind her, propping his elbow up on her shoulder.

"That's right. My group." Liberty's younger brother, Danny smiled a creepy smile at her. She casually brushed him off, scowling.

"Ew. Look, Webster, I'd rather choke on a nacho."
"And besides, I'm going to be her partner." Liberty showed up behind Danny, and smiled. "Hey, everyone." Manny smiled, happy to see her. Liberty and Manny's friendship had blossomed after J.T. had dumped her over the summer, and Manny had given her a personality makeover, making Liberty poised to be the coolest smart chick in Grade 11. She had her thick hair cut into long mocha coloured layers, kind of like they were at prom, but longer. She wore her standard polo shirt, but now with a hot pink collared shirt peeking out from underneath. She was Liberty, but better.

In class...

"J.T. No. We are not putting sprinkles on the cupcakes."
"They aren't even out, yet, Tobes! We have like 5 minutes to decide." The two boys contemplated, with chocolate batter covered canvas aprons and floral oven mitts what the garnishment would be on the cupcakes. Toby obsessively bent down to check the cupcakes through the glass door.

"How about strawberries. Mature, complemented by the chocolate..."

"How about strawberry sprinkles?" J.T. looked through the shelf above their heads. "Wait, we don't have anything but the long chocolate ones. They look like turds."

"J.T.! Geez. Okay, look. How about we use the chocolate frosting and a few chocolate sprinkles-a FEW, J.T.-and then a strawberry slice. Sound good?" J.T. agreed, the prospect of 3 different kinds of chocolate in a 3 square inch area blowing any argument he had out of the water.

"Sounds great. By the way, what are you gonna do with these?"

"I dunno, I'd kinda like to give some to Ash, but she's in London, so...that's out. She always told me I was useless." he pouted. "I guess I'll eat them. What'll you do with yours?" J.T. smiled.

"I think I'll eat some for dinner...and bring some to Emma's." Toby smiled, taunting J.T.

"Oh, I see why you wanted to take this class."

"No, that isn't why, but it's a big plus, now that I think about it."

"Have you talked to her, you know, since the transfer?" Toby asked, checking the cupcakes again.

"Yeah, I uh, went over and altered her uniform for her. Hey, don't look at me like that. Manny asked me to."

"That it? You guys used to talk like, every day." J.T. felt warm as he remembered their phone conversation. How sexy she had sounded when she answered. She must have been asleep. Then he found himself wondering what she wore to bed. It all went downhill from there. No, Tiber, you can't think like that. The truth was that this was a long time coming. He had been friends with her forever, but he had never really noticed that she had such tan skin, or that she had fire in her when she got angry, or that she was so smart in so many ways. Okay, so Jay was an example of her being not-so smart. But she had won the science fair 3 years in a row. She had gotten the academic excellence award last year. She was taking college level math with Liberty. Maybe he just had something for smart chicks.

But he was taking things slow. She hadn't been the same since the shooting, since...since Jay. The very thought of Jay made his skin crawl. He had corrupted her. He had made her miserable, untrusting. He was the reason that J.T. had to be so careful not to hurt her. Jay...

DING!

Anxiously, Toby adjusted the mitt on his hand and opened the oven door. He pulled the tray out, taking a whiff of the chocolate steam and smiling. Placing the tin muffin tray on the stove, he smiled at J.T.

"Smell 'em, man. Perfecto."

J.T. leaned down to smell them and closed his eyes in bliss. He imagined delivering the treats to Em's house, winning the favour of Mr. And Mrs. Simpson at the same time. The smile alone would be worth it. Perfect.

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Walking briskly down the street, J.T.'s feet took him to Emma's. Wrapped in wax paper with a little orange bow on top were the cupcakes. Unfortunately, because he had put the sprinkles on when the frosting had dried, they mostly rattled around at the bottom of the little white box. They overall, were quite exceptional. J.T. suddenly winced realizing that he was exceptional at both sewing and cooking, and wondered if it was a good idea to show this to Emma. She might laugh and hand him a tampon. As he stopped in front of her door and knocked, he cast away his doubts. Archie Simpson appeared at the door, dressed in a pair of sweats and the shirt he wore in Media Immersion. He looked very tired and mildly upset.

"Um, Hi, Mr. Simpson. I uh, wanted to bring these to Emma." He put on his best high beam smile. Snake coughed, and put his hand over his mouth.

"Uh, yeah, J.T. She's downstairs doing some homework. I'll go get her." He shut the door in J.T.'s face and went to retrieve Emma. J.T. felt confused. He had always been allowed in the Nelson-Simpson residence, but today, access denied. He was beginning to wonder why they had put Emma on maximum security lockdown. Before he could wonder any farther, Emma came to the door, her hair in a sloppy ponytail, wearing plaid boxers and a tshirt. He smiled a goofy smile, and handed her the box.

"J.T., hey! Um, what are these for?"

"Just, something Tobes and I made in Cooking. Thought you might like to make fun of me for my mad baking skillz." Emma sniffed the box, and looked at him, surprised.

"You made this! And you put the little uh..."

"Strawberries"

"Strawberries, yeah, on too? That's so great, J.T.!" She hugged him, slinging one arm around his back, briefly straightening the corduroy on his collar. J.T. inhaled and smelled the familiar smell of her house, her basement, and her citrusy perfume. He exhaled, as she moved to look at him. He could tell she was happy, and that made it worth it.

"So, how is it going at VR?"

"Oh, it's okay. I'm working on this cool project that is supposed to span the term. It's about finding a religion to study and analyze."

"Awesome, have you picked one just yet?" He sat with her on the porch swing.

"No, I haven't pinpointed exactly what I wanna do, but I know it has to be in Eastern Mythology. I was reading this amazing book called the Tao Te Ching by this guy...uh, Lao Tzu, I think. It's so beautiful. It makes me feel...at peace about everything." J.T. furrowed his eyebrows.

"What do you feel un-at peace about, Em?" He scooted closer.

"Oh, heh, nothing. Just...I dunno, it feels good." Emma looked at him, how lovely his hair fell against his neck, how deep and brown his eyes were. "J.T., thanks for the cupcakes, they also make me feel...good. Seeing you makes me feel good."

"You're uh.." his voice cracked. "You're welcome."

Suddenly, Emma bent over, squeaking a little. J.T. rose up from the swing and reached down to help her. He put his hand on her shoulder, worried.

"What's wrong, Em?" She looked up, her face twisted a bit in pain.

"I don't know. I've been having these weird cramps lately."

"Okay, well, uh, this is my cue to uh..." J.T. pretended to walk away.

"No, it's not my period. I'm uh, pretty sure of that. It's just this weird pain. I guess..."

"Hmm?" Emma looked sadly at J.T., her smile fading as her grip on the box tightened.

"I guess I need to go. A lot of work to do, you know..." J.T.'s face fell a little, but he straightened and smiled.

"Oh, yeah, uh, no problem. I hope they're good!"

"They will be. Thanks again." He was awarded the consolation prize of another hug.

"Welcome. Bye!"

Emma watched as he skipped off her porch steps and disappeared down the street. Walking inside her house, she sat the box on the counter. Her heart hurt as she pulled the door to in her room. She sat on the bed and sighed. She couldn't do this. Jay...J.T...it was too much. She was carrying Jay's child, but falling in love with her best friend, J.T. It was clear to her that J.T. had feelings for her, and the fact made her warm and happy, content inside, but at the same time, she was still holding onto hope, hope that Jay could change and be a father to her child.

She touched her abdomen as the pain seared through her again.

Speaking of hope...

Emma turned over in her bed, picking up her copy of the Tao she had picked up at the bookstore yesterday. Picking up where she left off...

Hope and fears are phantoms of the body.

When you regard your body as your self, hope and fear have real power over you.

If you abandon the notion of body as self, hope and fear cannot touch you.

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I hope you enjoyed it, as always leave me a review or drop me a line! I'm going to start working on my sequel to Naked, which is a Spinner story, soon. If you like my style, please check it out. I happen to like it a little. It's funny, with this story, I had a clear idea of who Emma would end up with, at the beginning. But the further along I get with the fic, the less I know who is right for her, who she should be with when the story ends. Guess we'll see! XOXO