Not A Pretty Girl:Alchemy Dream
Summary: Manny's loose lips strike again. Jay knows that Emma's pregnant, but has to face his options. Part of him wants to run as far away from Emma as humanly possible, graduate from Degrassi this year, and leave her to raise the kid. She probably doesn't want him around anyways, right? But then, part of him wants to step up and play house with her, do the responsible, respectable crap. On the other side, J.T. is suspicious of Emma's flighty behaviour and once he discovers what she's hiding, has to decide if he's willing to date a girl who is carrying another man's baby.
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Emma leaned back against the plush camel coloured leather interior of Lindsey's '03 BMW convertible, watching the clouds speed by above her head. Over the course of her first week, she had talked her way into the hearts of the three queens of VRA, and had scored morning rides to school. Lindsey gripped the wheel with one hand, and pushed her long black hair back with the other. Emma admired her in the rearview as they sped in a residential at 79 km/h. She always looked fierce for school, her uniform perfectly pressed and clean, her legs shaven and tanned. She always had the most expensive accessories, like vintage Manolo kitten heel clogs, polished to perfection and paired with loose socks imported from Japan. She sang along with a low, bad voice to 50 Cent. It brought to Emma's memory the statistic that almost 70 percent of popular hip hop listeners were suburban whites. Next to her was Rowan, smoking.
Emma had learned that the last thing Rowan wanted was for Emma to be in the car. Rowan had decided at some point that she was tough and had authority. Rowan was the student council Vice President to Lindsey's President. The only difference was that Lindsey didn't really care, and Rowan was out for total domination. She was still bitter than Lindsey was President and didn't care.
In the backseat, Irene had her arm around Emma. Out of all the girls, Irene had taken the most to Emma. She wasn't on the student council, but rather on the volleyball team, the women's hockey team, the swim team and was the junior rep for the Multicultural Awareness club. Irene herself was from the Philippines. She had Spiritual Studies and Law I with Emma. Irene's mother was a lawyer.
Fall was Emma's favourite season. September in Toronto was cool, but pleasant enough to ride with the top down and enjoy the crisp air. As they sped by, the mailboxes became a horizontal blur.
"Hey, Emma, your dad's pretty cute." Lindsey said as they pulled into the parking lot.
"Oh, gag me. Please. And he's my step-dad." Emma slid her shoe back on, and began to get her books.
"Yeah, but he has a great smile, and he's pretty young looking too. How old is he?" Irene chimed in.
"I dunno, like 30 or something."
"Woah, your mom's really robbing the cradle, Emma." Taking a final drag on her cigarette, Rowan tossed it out the window.
"Well, my mom and him are the same age, actually."
"So your mom like, got knocked up in high school? Ugh."
"Rowan, that's her mother we're raggin on here!"
"It's just stupid. Why can't girls just keep their legs shut until they meet a man with money."
"Well, your mom didn't, Rowan, she just married one when you were twelve!"
"Still..."
As the girls chattered on and on about nothing at all, Emma stared at the ground as she walked into the building, wondering what her new posse would think if they found out that she was exactly what they despised.
At least the weird cramps had gone away for a day or two. But now, she was just barely beginning to show. After her shower this morning, she had glimpsed her profile in her full length mirror, and noticed a slight bulge, and not from the excessive amount of doritos she'd been eating. She ran her hands over the smoothness of her stomach, noticing where the skin was tighter. It registered then that she was on her way to being a mother. She thought she should feel happier, but the impending stress was dropped like a sack of cinder blocks on her shoulders. Gotta get a job to pay for new maternity clothes, pay for baby supplies, figure out where the baby would live, decide what to do about school, and learn whether the child would have a father or not. Suddenly her teenage "golden years" were becoming a lot more complicated.
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Stalking through the east hallway of Degrassi, a somber Jay gripped his Biology book and notebook while examining the precarious situation he had found himself in. He hadn't been able to think about anything else for the last few days, and there was no solution in sight. He tried going for a walk, but lost in thought, he had run in to a garbage can, spilled out an old lady's disposable adult diapers and had to put them all back. He was scarred in more ways than one. He had tried masturbating his troubles away, but he couldn't get off for the thought of a baby's irrepressible wailing. Somehow, that just didn't do it for him. He really needed a smoke. Or a drive. Or a friend. Someone to talk to. He knew he should probably talk to Emma about the whole thing, but somehow, bile rose in his throat everytime that came up. What could he possibly say? What if she turned violent? He ducked under the arm that blocked the doorway to Room 301. He was in no mood for human interaction.
"Jason, take those headphones off, class begins in..." Mrs. Pritchard, the new Biology lab instructor looked at her watch, "...37 seconds." She walked through the door to monitor the hallway traffic. Jay looked to the back, trying to find his usually secluded seat by the sinks, but the only one available in the room was the last place on earth he wanted to be. He looked at the ceiling and flipped his headphones behind his head, walking to the only unoccupied seat.
"Top o' the morning to you, J. Crew."
J.T. stared straight ahead, writing down the notes written on the board. "Jay. Hi." Strained.
Jay looked at him, and turned his attention back to his mp3 player. He placed the headphones on his ears again, and cranked the volume way up so that the tunes would reach J.T.'s ears. J.T. tried to ignore it, and Jay began tapping his pencil in time with the beat.
"What are you listening to?"
"WHAT?" Jay yelled obnoxiously. J.T. had already had enough. He ripped the headphones off Jay's head.
"Whatever it is, turn it off. Class started."
"It's Danger Mouse. And no." J.T. slammed his book down and stood up, staring down at Jay. The other students halted their small talk and turned their attention to him. J.T. squinted his eyes.
"Just so you know, she's with me now. Or she will be." Jay smiled and spit at his words.
"Wrong. She's mine. Did she tell you what her new fall accessory is?"
"How the fuck do you know, Jay? Not like you've seen her. Not like you EVER cared to!"
"Wrong again. I have seen her. Answer me." Jay stood up, surprised that the scrawny little prep was about a half inch taller than him, and a little feistier than he's imagined.
"No, and what does it matter? What are you getting at?" J.T. felt the defensiveness rise in his chest, felt the anger that Jay knew something about Emma that he didn't.
"I knocked her up, J. Crew."
"You better watch what you say. Emma isn't like that. I've known her since 3rd grade, and she's never been like that." J.T.'s jaw clenched, terrified. Could he really be telling the truth?
"Times change, J. Crew. Look, if you think you could date a chick with another man's baby, then go right ahead. You have my blessing." Jay mocked, laughing loudly.
You asshole. You did it again.
"Look, sweetheart, I'm not lying to you. She's, I estimate, six weeks now."
"You've known all along!"
"Nope, you're friend told me." J.T. looked confused. "The slut."
"MANNY told you?" A flurry of emotion ran though him. It must be true. Manny must have found out from Emma over the summer.
"Well, have fun with her, even though she's used goods. But I know you like that, you dated the slut after all."
"What are you telling me? You aren't going to DO anything?"
"Oh, I think I've done enough." He smiled, and the cringed.
Why do you always hurt her, Jay? His mind shouted at him, recognizing the patterns his remarks made.
"Do you not care about her!" J.T. raised his fist in the air and swung at an unsuspecting Jay who was surprised at the force his punch packed. He fell back against the lab table just as the teacher came in. Jay looked at her momentarily and picked himself up.
"JASON HOGART!" Mrs. Pritchard yelled, running out in the hall to get help.
"You little bastard!" Jay pushed himself forwards, and nailed J.T. in the stomach, causing him to double over in pain. Students cleared the tables, and cheered the boys on. Jay pulled him up by his shaggy disheveled hair and swung one to his cheek. J.T. groaned as he landed on the floor. He retched and threw up on the floor as his powerful opponent kicked him forcefully in the gut.
"Don't mess with me, J. Crew." He reached up to wipe the blood from his eyelid that was dripping from his eyelashes. Licking the tear in his swollen bottom lip, he picked up his books before the teacher could say anything. He took one last look in the classroom at J.T., who was on the floor coughing up a little blood.
Real smooth, Jay.
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Somehow, Jay had been stealthy enough to escape the confines of Degrassi and reach his car. He turned the keys in the ignition and jerked the car into reverse. He backed out recklessly and shifted into drive, speeding out onto the road full of post-fight adrenaline. He really needed a drive. Pulling into the nearest convenience store, he used all the cash he had on him to buy a tankful, and drinks. As he made his way to the freezer, he picked up a carton of chocolate milk. He instinctually unzipped his jacket to slide the milk in, but his newly emerged conscious stopped him. He sighed, angrily, and went to the counter, slapping the bills down for the gas and milk.
Damnit, Greenpeace...
Sliding back in the seat, he placed the carton in the seat, and turned the radio up until he could feel the bass in his thighs. He played with the buttons, and finally found a station he liked. As he went through the familiar motions of driving, he focused his head on the lyrics.
There's blood in my mouth, 'cos I've been biting my tongue all week.
I keep on talking trash, but I never say anything.
And the talking leads to touching...
And the touching leads to sex...
And then there is no mystery left!
Baby, I'm bad news...baby I'm bad news! I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news.
Jay began to wonder if this was such a good idea after all.
He pulled into the parking lot of Volta Redonda Academy and for once felt his car wasn't good enough, parked next to a black Lexus. A few raindrops fell on his head as he strode to the front door with a mission and plan. Pulling open the heavy glass door, Jay scoffed at the cedar wood paneling and stuffy atmosphere. It was completely quiet in the school. He passed the library with the spiral staircase, the computer lab with the brand new eMacs.
Ah, the main office.
Jay stood at the front desk and looked over the counter at a young woman who flipped through a fashion magazine. He cleared his throat and smiled sarcastically as she looked up.
"Can I help you?"
"I need to check out my gir..sister."
"Name?" She rolled over to the computer.
"Nelson. Emma."
"And your name?"
"Jason Hogart." She stared at him suspiciously for a moment, looked at the profile on the computer. He panicked.
"Look, she's my step-sister."
"And why are you checking her out? Is it urgent?"
"She called me a few hours ago complaining of, uh...um..." The lady looked at him expectantly.
"Feminine cramps. She needs some Midol."
"We have a call log, and she isn't on it."
"She must have used her cell, then." Jay began to get annoyed.
"We don't allow cell phone calls in the building." She smiled curtly.
"I. Will. Talk. To. Her. About. That. Look, she gets really bad periods sometimes. I'm serious. Blood everywhere. She needs to come home."
"...Fine. Sign here." She pushed a form towards him. Jay had to stop from smiling as he signed his name under Parent/Guardian. Jason Hogart/11:17/Sept. 03, 2005. "I'll call her in." She got on the speaker.
"Mr. Killean, I need Emma Nelson to the west office. Her brother is here to check her out." Jay almost smiled again, imagining her reaction to the fact that her "brother" was checking her out.
"Thank you."
"Yep." She smiled and focused her attention back to the fall must-haves.
Jay leaned against the wooden desk and watched for her outside the window of the office. He heard footsteps around the corner, but much to his disappointment, it was another student with a hall pass. He impatiently glanced at the clock. 11:20 a.m. More footsteps. This time, he was not disappointed.
She wore a black, cream and greyish blue plaid uniform, with the skirt about 3 inches above the knee. He noticed that it was substantially shorter than the other girl's. Long cream coloured socks fell beneath her knee and hugged her slender legs. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail. He licked his suddenly dry lips, and tried to maintain his composure. It'd been awhile.
Emma looked up from the floor, confusion painted all over her face, and then caught sight of Jay in slow motion. An untraceable series of emotions followed like a chain reaction
Confused surprised anxious nervous happy elated anxious elated confused nervous scared angry elated angry.
She had no idea where to start.
"Come on, Em, let's uh, get you some Midol and a tampon."
"What? Jay, what the hell are..."
"Let's go, sis." He grabbed her hand and led her out of the building into the misty parking lot.
"Get in. It's unlocked."
"No! Answer me! How did you know I was here? Where are we going? Why did you drag me out of class? Answer me!"
"Okay...1. Magic. 2. Driving. 3. Because we need to talk. Get in, already." Emma was in no position to pass it up. She opened the familiar door, and slid into the familiar seat with the familiar boy. He joined her, pulling off his wet parka and turning the air on. He turned the radio down and shifted into drive, rolling out of the parking lot. Avoiding her gaze, he looked in the rearview, running a hand through his wet hair.
"There's some chocolate milk on the floorboard. If you want some." Emma instead looked around his car. It still had that Jay smell. Like waterfalls and wet dirt. She was happy to see that there were no more bracelets around his gearshift. An empty box of gummi bears laid at her feet. She looked out the window through the mist that had gathered into drips and now raced down the glass.
"So, you gonna tell me what's going on here?" His mind flashed quickly, scenes from them in the van, to the night they "consecrated" their "love", to his lonely drug-fests during the summer with Spinner, to his vision of her on the volleyball court, to J.T. laying on the floor in his own vomit. He adjusted his mirror, and looked her, and thought he would die, captured forever in those dark brown eyes. He looked at her until she became a blur.
"Uh, Jay...JAY!" He heard a car honk as he barely missed oncoming traffic.
Get it together. You have to tell her.
"Look...Emma...Manny, she told me. About you being, um." Emma's eyes went wide, and an angry blush spread across her cheeks. She dropped her head back onto the headrest.
"Is it true?"
"Yes."
"And it's mine?"
"...yes." Who else's? she thought.
"I've been thinking about it. A lot." He switched his gaze from her face to the road, and prayed that his judgment was right for once.
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Yay, thanks for reading! And the reviews! As always, tell me what you think! XOXO